Guest SophieKin Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I just wondered how those moving back to the UK have found the reactions of family and friends regarding their return. I havent told anyone for definite that I will be returning yet, however during my time here I have tried to gauge the opinions of family and friends on a possible return and I am shocked at how people have responded. People seem to think we are insane for wanting to come home. At times I have been in a pretty delicate state and tried to seek comfort from people, my MIL for example said oh just stick it out, don't come back here it is all doom and gloom, this is when I was trying to explain how depressed I had become since living here. People have also mentioned it is so much better for my children which makes me feel guilty for coming back. I have tried on numerous occasions to explain to friends how unhappy I am and asked about job situations in the UK etc but they don't seem to take me seriously, like how could I possibly not want to live in Oz!! Also any opportunity they get some family members seem to advise me of the constant bad news in the UK, there was a murder here today or another family member has lost their job. I am not blind to the problems in the UK, I left when it was in a pretty bad state so I am under no illusion, but it would be nice for people to provide encouragement , especially when I have been so unhappy. Whilst I don't need the encouragement of people to return back to the UK, I know it is going to be hard and at times and I know I am going to have to be prepared for this sort of response from everyone. Has anyone else experienced this or did people support your decision to return?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Our friends are really excited and looking forward to it. You have to remember that 99% of the people who think you are mad have probably never been here so cant possibly have any idea what things are like here. How can someone assume one country is better for kids than another ? It is ridiculous. It just seems to be the way some British people are, they just assume everywhere else is better and that doesn't for one second mean it is. Life is what you make of it. People lose their jobs everywhere. My SIL works for a big recruitment agency and she says more and more people are being employed casually or on a temporary basis as things are pretty uncertain outside the mining industry. You do what you know is best for you and your family not what others think because they watch Home and Away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Maybe don't worry what others think - you could think of time here in Aus as an extended holiday, and now it's time to go home. It is your happiness at stake, family can't understand until they have walked in your shoes can they really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the dougans Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 our family are pleased but yea some people say but how could you want to return these are people that have never been or lived in oz. the grass isnt greener here. it is lovely but home is home to me and always will be. maybe they think you just having some bad days and dont really beieve that you are coming back and maybe they dont want to be the reason you are going back if you tell them you are serious then maybe they will understand . good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 No doubt they are the people that think we all just sit around every night having BBQ's and drinking beer. We haven't been able to have a BBQ in 3 months because of the weather and all the rain has made the mosquito problem 10 times worse. You have to do what YOU want to do not what others think about this dream lifestyle you must have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggardemma Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 We have only just started telling family in UK and was really worried about their reaction. They can't wait for us to go back especially as they miss the kids. They want to help and nearly everybody has offered us their home to live in and I know that they truly mean it. I do worry that I will avoid people so I don't have to explain but I know some will always judge you right or wrong. Telling people makes me cringe a little bit inside I don't know why because we have been so unhappy here. You do feel you should stay because people expect you to be loving sunshine, beaches, lifestyle etc. We do like some things but not enough to keep us here for the long term. Living here has made us realise what is important (well if this is what is took!!!). Oz family have been okay with us but obviously this is their home and we shall not say anything negative to them about Oz. Until we confirm our return day some think we are having off days. I'm really anxious about booking the flight because I'm having to leave my husband here for a few months to tie things up. SophieKin only you know how this experience is making you feel and you really shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone but human nature makes us feel uncomfortable about other peoples' perception. They probably think the better way of life is measured by tangible things and at the moment can't imagine that living in Oz could cause you unhappiness or the desire to head back to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilliantay Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I just wondered how those moving back to the UK have found the reactions of family and friends regarding their return. My family are delighted that I have made the decision to move back (when, I am not sure yet). Friends in the UK think I am mad to come back and leave all the glorious sunshine behind !!! I find it strange that UK friends are under the impression that the sun shines 24/7 here. I also find it strange that friends here in Australia automatically think that I am going back because I do not like it here !!!! At the end of the day, it is my choice to return and I am not too bothered about what other people think. Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJBingham Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 My family in the U.K are delighted that we're going to head back hopefully in 2012, the downside is my Aussie wife's family are sad but understanding, unfortunately it's always going to be like this for us, but we have to live our lives for ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhian1 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 People are always going to have opinion about what you do with your life. Try not to listen to them! I am sometimes of fault of not doing this myself!! Most don't know what its like to go and live on the other side of the world where you know no one - its hard! Oz is amazing but its not dream life - you still have to go to work, pay bills, deal with all the crappy stuff life throws at you and its even harder because you are not with your loved ones. Good on you making a decision, try and enjoy now til you go home. Can I ask you why you came and why you have felt so unhappy? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SophieKin Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 People are always going to have opinion about what you do with your life. Try not to listen to them! I am sometimes of fault of not doing this myself!! Most don't know what its like to go and live on the other side of the world where you know no one - its hard! Oz is amazing but its not dream life - you still have to go to work, pay bills, deal with all the crappy stuff life throws at you and its even harder because you are not with your loved ones. Good on you making a decision, try and enjoy now til you go home. Can I ask you why you came and why you have felt so unhappy? x I came here as I wanted to try to see what life in Oz could offer my young family. I had been here several times before, but when I did previously come here I did not have children and it is completely different trying to live here compared to holidaying here. I underestimated how much I would miss my family and I want my children to grow up with their extended family around them. I also miss the UK climate and also the choice that you have living in the UK. It is so expensive here and although we are not struggling I dont know how we would ever be able to afford trips home. There are many things I will miss about Oz, it is a great place to bring up children and it is a lot cleaner and safer than the OK, however I am living in limbo here and I just feel like the UK is home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landv Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I came here as I wanted to try to see what life in Oz could offer my young family. I had been here several times before, but when I did previously come here I did not have children and it is completely different trying to live here compared to holidaying here. I underestimated how much I would miss my family and I want my children to grow up with their extended family around them. I also miss the UK climate and also the choice that you have living in the UK. It is so expensive here and although we are not struggling I dont know how we would ever be able to afford trips home. There are many things I will miss about Oz, it is a great place to bring up children and it is a lot cleaner and safer than the OK, however I am living in limbo here and I just feel like the UK is home. I feel exactly the same as you. We moved here more than 2 years ago, just my husband and I, since then we had a daughter and that has changed everything for me and for some reason I just don't feel the same way about this place anymore. I feel that our family is missing out on our daughter growing up, and it just doesn't feel home without them, don't belong here, never will. I only told my parents that we will be going back, I think deep down they are pleased, but haven't said it, they just said do what you feel is best. we haven't told anybody else yet, we are not going back for another 2 years or so for various other reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 we spent time in aus,and time in the uk--its strange when we return to the uk our friends cant understand why we do not live in aus permantly (these people have not lived or experienced australia so to me they have no valid opion on my feelings) and just get politely egnored, if they push the issue they get told--our australian friends understand why we return to the uk,and support us 100%--strange one that i think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest annemarie and brian Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 well we returned just before xmas and my family and good friends said the same while we were out there are you sure etc.. when we said we had booked our flights they were shocked but once we got here our close friends actually greeted us with open arms and champagne to celebrate,our gilrs are back at school and all my friends there have cuddled us and said welcome back and how much they missed us do we had a different welcome than we expected. if thats what you want to do do it and enjoy it all the way i am happy we have done it and yes its hard but thats what we expected but heps with friends and family around us.. good luck annemarie xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mozziebite Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 SophieKin, I can hear exactly where you are coming from. I felt depressed for the first time in my life whilst in Oz, its an awful feeling. Since coming back after being in Oz for a year, I feel like a weight has been lifted! My MIL was unsupportive too, one my best friends told me to pull myself together and said there wasn't much she could do being so far away. I am sick of people saying 'you must be mad coming back here' and it got ten times worse during the cold weather with all the references to leaving all the sunshine behind! But for every person with a dig or snide comment there is someone genuinely pleased to see you. Go with your gut instinct, why stay somewhere you are unhappy? Why live your lifef feeling like something is missing? Why go through life with no family and friends round you? Yes we had a nice rental with a pool, but it all felt meaningless without my pals or family round. Yes we all know we are leaving folks behind when we jet off but nothing prepares you for how you will actually feel 6 months down the line. Final crunch for me was for the first time in my life I cried in front of my kids - it was a turning point for me. Only you know how it feels to be you. I didn't feel like me the whole time I was there, I felt everything I had ever known had changed and used to read on this forum how great everyone was finding Australia and wondered what the hell had happened with me! I don't know how your kids feel about returning, my two couldn't wait to get back as they are a bit older, when relatives asked where they liked living the best they say the UK, I then breathe a big sigh of relief that we defintely made the right decision to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 We are planning on returning later in the year[but may stay until 2012,undecided].This is not our first time living in aus so we nearly know everyones response before we even talk to them.My family can't wait for us to return and are very supportive,others too but in a kind of unbelieving sort of way.They are over the moon we will be returning but can't really understand why.Needless to say none of these friends have ever lived abroad,some have never lived away from home,so they have no understanding whatsoever.It is hard to explain to others too because we are not homesick,we just don't have any intention of living here forever,it is nice for a few years and has been a great experience but I would find it mind numbing if it was any longer.My husband is an aussie and he is even more eager than I am to return to Ireland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chloew Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hello, Yes, we've had a mixed bag of reactions. Our family are pleased but until the flights are booked and they pick us up at Heathrow, I don't think they really believe it. Good friends are pleased and excited about us coming home. The majority of people who have said we're mad are those who've never even been to Australia and I just say, until you've lived there/here you can't comment. We're heading off as soon as the house sells..............seems to be taking ages but hopefully soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Exactly, you MUST have lived here to be able to comment on life here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 No doubt they are the people that think we all just sit around every night having BBQ's and drinking beer. We haven't been able to have a BBQ in 3 months because of the weather and all the rain has made the mosquito problem 10 times worse. You have to do what YOU want to do not what others think about this dream lifestyle you must have. Sorry to hijack thread but hope you guys in SE Q are ok and keeping safe. Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andie33 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Hi all I think each of us knows where we will be truly happy and don't worry about everything else. I think family and friends just want you to make a right decision and not be back here for 6 months and suddenly think ah crap its horrid in every way and long for Aus again. I know you;ve lived here but its pretty negative and even the most positive people struggle... i think that is what people are on about. The media have not stopped all the way through january about how its depressing, its soooo depressing, everyone is going to struggle this year, people will lose their homes, credit crunch, weather blah blah....bbc not what is was;-) but then this is britain, and we moan :biggrin: whinging poms lol If i really think about it im not even in Aus yet and i know that in years from now Wales will always be my homeland, its just inbuilt somehow, might be wrong. , so we'll; probably be making our way back too at some point when the shine wears off. (have visited Aus btw). Im under no illusions of a "dream life abroad" as my life is my life wherever I am, just I personally just fancy a couple of years out so thats what were going for. Just try to live with family/friends reactions as they arent gonna change their views, just listen to people, agree, and do whatever you know is right for you without a second thought. Thanks for your posts everybody btw its helpful to see the other point of view. Andie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 lots of people run down the uk, many never even lived abroad and have no idea what its like, being with family and friends even whan things are bad has no replacement, indeed you are all in it together and it seems the british way to moan about the weather everyday and doom and gloom the country. Do what you feel is right, if or when things get a little stressful then family are surrounding you and theres always some idea comes up to sort it, even if its a silly idea and you just laugh. hot weather and beaches do not replace family and friends. good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest simon geoffrey moore Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I just wondered how those moving back to the UK have found the reactions of family and friends regarding their return. I havent told anyone for definite that I will be returning yet, however during my time here I have tried to gauge the opinions of family and friends on a possible return and I am shocked at how people have responded. People seem to think we are insane for wanting to come home. At times I have been in a pretty delicate state and tried to seek comfort from people, my MIL for example said oh just stick it out, don't come back here it is all doom and gloom, this is when I was trying to explain how depressed I had become since living here. People have also mentioned it is so much better for my children which makes me feel guilty for coming back. I have tried on numerous occasions to explain to friends how unhappy I am and asked about job situations in the UK etc but they don't seem to take me seriously, like how could I possibly not want to live in Oz!! Also any opportunity they get some family members seem to advise me of the constant bad news in the UK, there was a murder here today or another family member has lost their job. I am not blind to the problems in the UK, I left when it was in a pretty bad state so I am under no illusion, but it would be nice for people to provide encouragement , especially when I have been so unhappy. Whilst I don't need the encouragement of people to return back to the UK, I know it is going to be hard and at times and I know I am going to have to be prepared for this sort of response from everyone. Has anyone else experienced this or did people support your decision to return?? dont come back its crap here and its not gonna get better in the next 24 months:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andie33 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 everything i said before, plus what Simon said (on a bad day lol;-) - Simon do you work for the bbc news by any chance? :wink:llol.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest simon geoffrey moore Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 everything i said before, plus what Simon said (on a bad day lol;-) - Simon do you work for the bbc news by any chance? :wink:llol.... no luv i wish just have no faith in this country and it andit cronies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 At the end of the day you have to do what ever is going to make you happiest. My friend really wanted to go back to the UK, she made two visits, after her first she was so enthusiastic about England that when she made her 2nd less than a year after some people thought she may not come back. One visit was in summer and one in winter. On her return however, she said that she'd been able to decide that she wanted to live in Aus, she bought a house and is more settled now than she was previously. If you're not sure - take a trip back , If you believe it's the right thing for you .... don't worry about what others think ... they'll soon just be glad to have you back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest simon geoffrey moore Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 thats cool but this is a very uncertain country now it dieing slowly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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