Guest chloew Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Just want to wish you good luck Stovies and ChloeW - hope you enjoy the rest of your time in Oz and the reception when you get home. Best wishes Thanks! Will let you know how we go.......! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthatmullarkey Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I felt the same way before I left oz in November last year it's common I think, and whatever people say it doesn't mean you are doomed for a successful return home. We have been back now in Yorkshire for 3 months and have no regrets, we had a great experience in oz but being back home has allowed me to find my peace of mind. Both myself and my husband have found work, our daughter is now in secondary school and doing very well she is being challenged which was not happening in oz. Yes the weather is very different but you get use to it and I enjoy walking the dog now without him panting for the rest of the day because its soooo hot. Anyway good luck, Scotland is a fanastic country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest punky pom Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hi there, I agree with one comment that happy parents make for happy kids. We got back to the UK on NYE 2010. We lived in Oz for 7yrs loved it embraced the lifestyle and travlled around it for 2yrs. I have no experience of Aspergers, but our children who are triplets were 6 when we emigrated and they are now 13, they have settled in really well here and are extremely happy. They loved Oz too but were happy to come back. Having family support is great. I am also sure Scots are like the North East people as I had no problems picking up were I left off with my old friends of course we have all changed and we were all terrible at keeping in touch but our friendship is still there, you cant beat that. Whatever you choose to do I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Thanks Punky Pom, I am so glad that everything has worked out for you ... especially with taking teenagers back home! Scots certainly are warm, friendly and open people and I was sorely reminded of that on my last visit home. Thanks for your good wishes - our flights are booked for next month! I cannot wait to get back home. Continued happiness to you and your family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cricketbackinengland Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I never regretted returning to England but then I never wanted to leave in the first place. Your heart knows where it belongs no matter where your head says it's going. It's the heart that leads the way. The sadness is because it's an ending and even though you might not have totally bonded with Australia, you've still grown and evolved so I think any sadness is because you know you are saying goodbye to part of yourself and leaving that part of you behind. It's normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 You must be going home this month. If you are not already there. I just saw your post and i know we've never spoke but i think you are very lucky to be going home. I don't think it's at all strange that you have been here for 11 years and haven't made any real friends. I have been here for four and am the same. Some people seem to get off the flight and suddenly seem to have a mass of friends waiting for them for their new lives in Australia but some people struggle. It's certainly not for the lack of trying either! Anyway I hope you enjoy yourself as I am sure you will. I think it is exactly right that home is where the heart is and you know where that is.:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 You must be going home this month. If you are not already there. I just saw your post and i know we've never spoke but i think you are very lucky to be going home. I don't think it's at all strange that you have been here for 11 years and haven't made any real friends. I have been here for four and am the same. Some people seem to get off the flight and suddenly seem to have a mass of friends waiting for them for their new lives in Australia but some people struggle. It's certainly not for the lack of trying either! Anyway I hope you enjoy yourself as I am sure you will. I think it is exactly right that home is where the heart is and you know where that is.:smile: Thank you Whichway... I am still here. We fly home next Thursday (24th March)... your post brought a lump to my throat.... I really hope that things work out for you, wherever you decide (or have to) be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest roaminnomore Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Go home, do what feels right. Let's say your children were toddlers, would you let them them with raw eggs or with the stove? Easy, NO, they would make a mess or get burnt. If that is the way you feel, trust your instincts and just do it. Ley x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chloew Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Thank you Whichway... I am still here. We fly home next Thursday (24th March)... your post brought a lump to my throat.... I really hope that things work out for you, wherever you decide (or have to) be. Hello, we're flying home 6 April. I was only thinking yesterday that after 3 years we have really made no friends here. We get on with our neighbours but they're not "friends". I was chatting to the lady at my daughter's daycare yesterday, she's been here for nearly 30 years and said she still has few friends and misses home. She said she really regrets not moving back years ago before the kids were settled. I know that friends in the UK have moved on and so have I but I am looking forward to being home again. Good luck with everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Hello, we're flying home 6 April. I was only thinking yesterday that after 3 years we have really made no friends here. We get on with our neighbours but they're not "friends". I was chatting to the lady at my daughter's daycare yesterday, she's been here for nearly 30 years and said she still has few friends and misses home. She said she really regrets not moving back years ago before the kids were settled. I know that friends in the UK have moved on and so have I but I am looking forward to being home again. Good luck with everything! 32 years in 11 days for me and enough friends to still have several fingers left over on the one hand when I count them! Plenty of acquaintances but no one would miss me if I left here and I really really regret not moving back years ago too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Julz Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 32 years in 11 days for me and enough friends to still have several fingers left over on the one hand when I count them! Plenty of acquaintances but no one would miss me if I left here and I really really regret not moving back years ago too! I've only been here for 18 months, I say hello to a few mums at school but thats about it. My only real friend here is English and she went back to the UK for an extended holiday from the middle of Nov, not due back till the end of this month. In that time I've had no visitors to the house and see no one. I'm not an odd person, we lived in a military background in UK and Germany for 12 years, moving every 2-3 years and made lots of new friends every time. I'm only glad we have made the decision to move home while our 3 children are still very young, I certainly could not grow old here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilton Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 So glad, I found this forum and these threads, gives me great comfort to know im not the only 1 struggling in Oz. I cant talk to my mates about returning home because they are suicidial at the thought of going home and I dont get any rational response from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chloew Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I've only been here for 18 months, I say hello to a few mums at school but thats about it. My only real friend here is English and she went back to the UK for an extended holiday from the middle of Nov, not due back till the end of this month. In that time I've had no visitors to the house and see no one. I'm not an odd person, we lived in a military background in UK and Germany for 12 years, moving every 2-3 years and made lots of new friends every time. I'm only glad we have made the decision to move home while our 3 children are still very young, I certainly could not grow old here. Your post sounds like me, the only real friend I made is English and she went home last March! I'm looking forward to catching up with her when I get back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peacock Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I think your better off here at the moment , not looking to good back in Blighty UK unemployment hits 17-year high | News.com.au Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rayman1 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I think your better off here at the moment , not looking to good back in Blighty UK unemployment hits 17-year high | News.com.au We moved back last April. Wife has got a better paid job with better prospects than last time and I got work straight away. Have now changed career and loving it. There was unemployment in Queensland as I remember and, although I found work, it wasn't all plain sailing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Julz Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I'd rather take my chances and be happy in the UK rather than miserable here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilton Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I'd rather take my chances and be happy in the UK rather than miserable here! Great to see this type of attitude. As far as my circle of friends are concerned going home is a sign of weakness or that your a failure. I will give it another few months and if my feelings havnt changed I will say goodbye and thanks for the experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Great to see this type of attitude. As far as my circle of friends are concerned going home is a sign of weakness or that your a failure. I will give it another few months and if my feelings havnt changed I will say goodbye and thanks for the experience Nope, no failure, just a reassessment of your life priorities. It is a good feeling to know that you are not Robinson Crusoe with respect to Australia not floating your boat! I am sure you will be fine in UK - all depends on what you want to do with your life but if you have a go getter type attitude and some tenacity hopefully things will fall into place for you. Remember, there is nothing in the rule book that says you have to like it here and you can always reflect on why plane loads of young Aussies cant wait to escape once they have finished school/uni! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chloew Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Great to see this type of attitude. As far as my circle of friends are concerned going home is a sign of weakness or that your a failure. I will give it another few months and if my feelings havnt changed I will say goodbye and thanks for the experience Not a sign of weakness, a realisation that life is too short to be unhappy. If everyone liked the same things and did the same things then life would be boring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 32 years in 11 days for me and enough friends to still have several fingers left over on the one hand when I count them! Plenty of acquaintances but no one would miss me if I left here and I really really regret not moving back years ago too! That really brings it home Quoll. That's a long time to feel like that. I guess it shows how easily it can happen. I hope you are ok :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tigers Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think your better off here at the moment , not looking to good back in Blighty UK unemployment hits 17-year high | News.com.au I know that when I came home, employment wasn't a priority, my happiness came first :biggrin: Myself, just like others on here, didn't settle & missed home, missed family, missed more than I can even type. Tried it, didn't work, came home, very very happy :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 That really brings it home Quoll. That's a long time to feel like that. I guess it shows how easily it can happen. I hope you are ok :smile: Yes I am fine thanks - cross with myself that I didnt make it clear to my DH what I wanted out of retirement but, then, neither did he, we just sort of went on assuming that the other shared our expectations. I think if we had moved back to UK then one son would have taken a very different pathway in life which would have been a darn sight more positive than the one he has taken thus far, the other son would probably have ended up where he is now - in UK with a great career. I must say that the first 10 years here were fine, nice new stuff, lots of places to see that I had never seen before etc. Second 10 years bit more ho hum, done that before, chasing around after growing kids etc, and secure in the knowledge that I would one day be moving on, last 10 years - stir bloody crazy! Go home once or twice a year for my sanity hit, holiday is over thanks very much! It's the little things that I want in my life that I cant get here - the history, countryside, lifestyle, humour, sense of community etc not to mention that I see my parents in UK getting far better aged services than my mother in law here in Vic. The friends thing is interesting - it doesnt really bother me that much because I learned very early on that you have to be incredibly self sufficient in this life and to be a successful migrant (and I guess you could say that I am that!) you have to be self sufficient, self motivated and quite selfish. I have friends back in UK that have been there since those tough developmental times and I count them all as good friends even if we dont write that often but we do get together when I go home - it's like there hasnt been a lull in the conversation once we start. I have met and had any number of "friends" here but they are all very transient, they dont share a past with me and Aus has a pretty itinerant population so friendships tend to be workplace based or your kids' developmental stage based and then they sort of drift out of your lives. Some lovely people to be sure but not as persistent as the ones that have shared significant parts of my life. Ah well, you live and learn dont you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilton Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I know that when I came home, employment wasn't a priority, my happiness came first :biggrin: Myself, just like others on here, didn't settle & missed home, missed family, missed more than I can even type. Tried it, didn't work, came home, very very happy :biggrin: I think you have got your priorities right, my worry is finding employment in UK but i now feel its more important to be happy as some previous posters have said lifes too short to be unhappy. Read an autobiography yesterday by famous sportsman from UK and he said for all his millions the 2 things he could never buy was 1. Feeling of being Home 2. Happiness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kaylee25 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I should add into the mix my two older daughters (from a previous marriage) and their two baby sons. They are back in Scotland after having lived over here for a few years but decided to go back (they didn't have the babies at the time!). So, I also have those daughters and my two grandsons to go back to. Another relevant factor is that my sister (whom I am closest to) has recently been diagnosed, and operated on for thyroid cancer. There are many things that I am taking into account that I obviously can't list here. Everyone's situation is unique. Petals, I know how it can be bringing children to a different country and them being miserable.. this is a big dilemma for me. I brought my older girls over here when they were 15 and 16, they wanted to go back, and did. My Aussie 'batch' of children know nothing else but Australia. Are they still young enough to be able to start again in Scotland. Another thing to take into consideration is that the older girls who went back, had a father and all the relatives to go back to. We have no-one here. Just more food for thought. I really feel for you. It's a difficult situation but if your on the verge of depression how can you be strong enough to look after your family. I have lived away from home and suffered terrible depression. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I think because 2 of your children have aspergers moving back could take some planning and patience because from my experience children with this like routine and things that are familiar to them. You would need to talk about it with them over a period of time. Maybe show them pictures of the place you are moving too. It will probably take them a while to settle once you are back. It will be hard and you may still feel depressed for a time while you all settle. But I think it will be worth it as to me it sounds like this is what you really want. I wish you all the best and hope you get your happy ending xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creese Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Im the same as you whichway, I havent laughed in a long time. Feeling more and more despressed as time goes on! We will go back to the UK with nothing, but we will have friends and family there. It going to be tough but worth it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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