Still want to go back home ...

[Guest ridgej]

i know exactly how u feel the only difference is that we have only been here 3 months but the pull back to what u miss especially when the kids r settled is heart wrenching wish i had the answer too sounds like you have the good old homesick bug

[mrsindecision]

Pommyoz, your post brought a tear to my eye. Your thoughts support my thoughts! I really have the feeling that this is make or break time. Things can't go on as they are. It is true, if we leave it any longer we will be in a postion of not really having the option to move due to the reasons you said. I am so sorry that you are in the position you are in. Thank you for reminding me (and warning me) of how things could be if we leave it too long.

 

Sue, thank you for your post too. All the things you say makes sense. Funnily enough, my neice is also a specialist learning support assistant at a school in the area we would be looking at moving too! I didn't really realise the importance (and significance) of this until lately. Thank you again.

 

Our latest thoughts are that we sell our place here (was going to do that anyway as 8 acres is just getting too much!), husband stays on at his job here while renting somewhere. Myself and the children go over to Scotland in say, 6 months time, and live with/beside my sister (her suggestion, she has a lovely place in the country near other family). We give ourselves a timescale of, say, 3/4 months to see how the children settle and how they cope with school and the general change. All goes well, husband comes over and he looks for a job in Scotland. All goes pear-shaped, myself and the children come back here and we buy another house near their school and take up where we left off.

 

How does that sound?

 

Thanks for listening.

 

I think this sounds like a perfect plan, such big moves will always bring with them emotional upheaval - the kids will definitely adapt if you manage the move well. Keep them busy, engage with family and friends - get them into a good school and watch them closely - you need to be aware of their ups and downs and support them through it. I have done that well sometimes with my daughter and other times terribly - but when I have got it wrong I tell her and find some shared understanding.

 

When you come home things are not the same - I think that's great - although it does leave you feeling a little lost sometimes - but then I go out - even in the freezing cold and notice the beautiful light in UK, love the cold air in my lungs and the changing trees (knowing that before we know it Christmas will be here and then spring will be following soon after.)

 

For us the reasons for coming back were work, careers and education - I can confirm that they were the right reasons - My son came back from university yesterday and is having the time of his life - and is being taught by some of the industry's best - the social life is great and he has his own radio show etc. My daughter brought home her first report card graded Bs and Cs at GCSE level ( she still has 18 months to go) and excellent all through - in oz she was regularly Cs and Ds and satisfactory.

 

Although we are sad our little adventure is over - after 11 years you are on a new adventure and have the support of family and friends to boot. And bugger it if you miss OZ you can go back just get your timing right with the kids.

 

Good luck x

[Stovies]

Thanks Mrs Indecision. Ha ha, you're timing is perfect. It is 4am here and I up fretting about it all. I have told everyone back home that we are coming back. This makes it even more scary because there really is no going backwards now! The children are up and down about it. Sometimes excited, sometimes terrified. My older daughter here is upset at leaving this house and her bedroom. I feel really sick about it all but know that we can't continue as we are. They need family around them. They are too much in isolation and I feel this is not healthy. But, now my stomach is churning at the thought of going over with no house for them and me with no job and their father waiting it out over here! I suppose it's all part of it. Making the decision and then reality setting in! It would be easy, in the short term, to just back pedal (as we did before) and not upset the applecart here but I know that, in the long term, it's for the best. There will be a lot of hard work in front of us now. When we get over to Scotland it will be all systems go. I just hope and pray it all works out and that I have made the right decision.

[mrsindecision]

Thanks Mrs Indecision. Ha ha, you're timing is perfect. It is 4am here and I up fretting about it all. I have told everyone back home that we are coming back. This makes it even more scary because there really is no going backwards now! The children are up and down about it. Sometimes excited, sometimes terrified. My older daughter here is upset at leaving this house and her bedroom. I feel really sick about it all but know that we can't continue as we are. They need family around them. They are too much in isolation and I feel this is not healthy. But, now my stomach is churning at the thought of going over with no house for them and me with no job and their father waiting it out over here! I suppose it's all part of it. Making the decision and then reality setting in! It would be easy, in the short term, to just back pedal (as we did before) and not upset the applecart here but I know that, in the long term, it's for the best. There will be a lot of hard work in front of us now. When we get over to Scotland it will be all systems go. I just hope and pray it all works out and that I have made the right decision.

 

mmm churning stomach - I know that one only too well - the only good thing about that is that I lost a lot of weight over it and now look fabulous!!! Go with it - you care about your family and children and want it to be right - there would be something wrong if you were blase - I think as long as you get the important things right - location, schooling, good support for Aspergers, finances it will all fall into place - why not approach it like a shorter term project - first three months then if all good to the end of year 11 for your eldest and so on. As for your daughters bedroom - this seems to be a big deal for girls - ask her to write down the things she loves in her room and what she must have in her new house and promise her you will get this for her (within reason of course) My daughter brought with her her special things ( photo's posters and mementos) now she has added to that and made her room very cosy. Accept all the uncomfortable feelings and talk to us on PIO as much as you need - it was a godsend to me.

 

x:hug:

[Stovies]

Í like the sound of the weight loss! I have really let myself go and piled on the weight since I've been here. I think my family were quite shocked when I was over in May! I was always the thinner one! Now they all look fantastic and I'm a blob! Anyway, once my life balances out a bit I am sure it will be dealt with! I feel a lot better just by going through old posts here. I am finding that many have gone through what I am going through and it is a huge help to me to read their stories, thoughts and feelings. Re my daughter's bedroom - the stomach churner for me there is that I know that she won't get another room as big as the one she has! How can I convince her that having lots more to do in life will make up for her not having a big bedroom? I know that the children's social life will go from naught to .. whatever the saying is!!! They have many cousins just champing at the bit to take them to various activities. I just wish they could see that but I know they are young and what they know is what they know. It must be so scary for them to be giving it all up and jumping into the unknown. : ( My thoughts are racing between the "OMG, what have i done??" to "woo hoo" to just wanting to be ill ........

 

Thanks for listening!

[Stovies]

Well, I can recommend, from 2am to 8 am researching on the computer, talking to family in Scotland, texting family in Scotland and generally starting to piece together a plan, to put a tortured mind to rest!! I feel much more confident about things now and am going to busy myself with lists, sublists and lists of lists and allow myself to get EXCITED! : )

 

PS: Hopefully there will be more good days than bad days before we go! I am expecting peaks and troughs. But must say, I am so grateful to you all for letting me talk all this through. It has just helped so, so much. Thank you.

[Guest cariad]

A few months ago I was on here saying that we had finally made the decision to go back home to Scotland (we've been here over 11 years). Then I was on here saying, no, we have done a U-turn and are going to stay. However, a few months down the line, I find I still feel so miserable at being away from Scotland. We decided to stay here because of my husband's job and the kids are settled, blah, blah. What a dilemma. I wish we had just ran with it when we first made the 'final' decision to go home. I wish we hadn't backpeddled.

 

I just do not know what to do for the best. Any psychics out there?

 

:sad:

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I've been here many decades on and off in Oz. Never settled... just got on with it. Finally now, I,m in my fifties, hubby has a cancer, it was the impetus we needed to say "enough is enough". We may as well be in UK. Only enjoy Brit humour, watch UKTV constantly. My advice is... if you have a true yen to go home. DO IT. Don't waste any more chances. It is always possible to get home somehow. Your kids will make their own choice when no longer in your care. Your own culture, value systems & traditions are what keep you sane. Don't forego them. We are doing everything we can now to go back HOME...to somewhere on the Welsh English border. Sooooooo homesick. Don't wait like us until illness gives you the push. It may be too late then. Let me know how you go ok?

[mrsindecision]

We have been in Brisbane almost 11 years now so we are in a similar situation, although I grew up in Victoria we have only been up here for 11 years. Our move is actually for our kids as we feel that because of their interests the UK will be better for them. My wife has never wanted to live here so has jumped at the chance to move home and I love it there also so it's not a problem for any of us.

My thoughts are go for it, as Quoll said happy parents make happy kids.

 

Hi Chris and others thought I would just jump in on this comment to let you know about the opportunities here - my husband does work on the side as a medic on the film sets - arranged for our son ( the animator) to go in and spend the day on the set of a major new movie. He spent an hour with the head of visual effects and left with a page of contact details and the offer of work as an extra ( he is handsome I must say). Eldest has been offered an interview for medicine at Imperial College (world class uni) the first of a few we hope.

 

In Oz middle son didn't even get an offer on an animation course, eldest is currently bored senseless (in Oz) and desperate to come home for some cerebral stimulation ( two and half weeks and counting) and husband would have spent most of his day ramping up at a hospital for five hours with a patient that shouldn't have been in hospital.

 

It may be a bit cold and grey some days but you certainly know you're alive - today snowy and very christmassy.

[Guest christi]

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I've been here many decades on and off in Oz. Never settled... just got on with it. Finally now, I,m in my fifties, hubby has a cancer, it was the impetus we needed to say "enough is enough". We may as well be in UK. Only enjoy Brit humour, watch UKTV constantly. My advice is... if you have a true yen to go home. DO IT. Don't waste any more chances. It is always possible to get home somehow. Your kids will make their own choice when no longer in your care. Your own culture, value systems & traditions are what keep you sane. Don't forego them. We are doing everything we can now to go back HOME...to somewhere on the Welsh English border. Sooooooo homesick. Don't wait like us until illness gives you the push. It may be too late then. Let me know how you go ok?

 

Great post Cariad.So sorry to hear about your Hubby, being ill

I have thought a million times, Oh my God, what if we get ill,what if this, what if that. I so dont want to spend the rest of my life here

We are also doing everything we can to get home, as quickly as possible. I had a "close-call" health wise, early this year, and it made us realise, for sure, we did not want to be here.It sort of prioritised everything for us. We knew we were very unhappy here, but being sick, with no family or really close friends around, was awful

I spent a fortune on drugs and medical,and had I of been at home, in the UK, the costs would not of been as bad.Our GP in the UK, was wonderful and he could of sorted out the problems, with me, before they got to the Life threatening stage they did here.I got fobbed off, so many times here, and sent away, being told by various Drs that I was imagining things, and I was under stress.

I ended up, very sick for 7 months,and in hospital with massive swelling to the lower brain. Had the problem, been treated properly to start with, a course of anti-biotics would of done the trick,,,but no,no-one treated the problem, and it got totally out of hand in the end.When I eventually collapsed through the "blinding headaches",my eyesight had gone,and I couldent even speak. The Consultant in A&E was horrified, that something so simple had not been diagnosed, and I had been turned away by so many Drs and Dentists, and left to get into the mess I was in

Beleive me, that put our lives here, into prospective, and made us realise that we had been wrong to stay as long as we had.It was almost like a "warning...Go while you still can!!!

You are so right in what you say 'Dont let illness give you the push"

We knew deep down, we should of gone back home straight away, we knew OZ was wrong, pretty soon after we arrived. But people tell you it will get better and give it 2 years, but for us, it just got worse

Every day is a struggle now, we are on countdown, and writing lists abouts lists, to try to keep going,until we can go home.Ive said it before on PIO, but "everyday is Groundhog day", we just survive,and try to be positive.

I can fully understand the depression, that so many seem to suffer,I have been so "down" , its not me.Never felt anything like this doom and gloom before.I just keep taking the "happy pills"

But 2011 is our year, home at last

Good Luck to everyone, who is heading home.Go with your "gut feeling"

[landv]

Great post Cariad.So sorry to hear about your Hubby, being ill

I have thought a million times, Oh my God, what if we get ill,what if this, what if that. I so dont want to spend the rest of my life here

We are also doing everything we can to get home, as quickly as possible. I had a "close-call" health wise, early this year, and it made us realise, for sure, we did not want to be here.It sort of prioritised everything for us. We knew we were very unhappy here, but being sick, with no family or really close friends around, was awful

I spent a fortune on drugs and medical,and had I of been at home, in the UK, the costs would not of been as bad.Our GP in the UK, was wonderful and he could of sorted out the problems, with me, before they got to the Life threatening stage they did here.I got fobbed off, so many times here, and sent away, being told by various Drs that I was imagining things, and I was under stress.

I ended up, very sick for 7 months,and in hospital with massive swelling to the lower brain. Had the problem, been treated properly to start with, a course of anti-biotics would of done the trick,,,but no,no-one treated the problem, and it got totally out of hand in the end.When I eventually collapsed through the "blinding headaches",my eyesight had gone,and I couldent even speak. The Consultant in A&E was horrified, that something so simple had not been diagnosed, and I had been turned away by so many Drs and Dentists, and left to get into the mess I was in

Beleive me, that put our lives here, into prospective, and made us realise that we had been wrong to stay as long as we had.It was almost like a "warning...Go while you still can!!!

You are so right in what you say 'Dont let illness give you the push"

We knew deep down, we should of gone back home straight away, we knew OZ was wrong, pretty soon after we arrived. But people tell you it will get better and give it 2 years, but for us, it just got worse

Every day is a struggle now, we are on countdown, and writing lists abouts lists, to try to keep going,until we can go home.Ive said it before on PIO, but "everyday is Groundhog day", we just survive,and try to be positive.

I can fully understand the depression, that so many seem to suffer,I have been so "down" , its not me.Never felt anything like this doom and gloom before.I just keep taking the "happy pills"

But 2011 is our year, home at last

Good Luck to everyone, who is heading home.Go with your "gut feeling"

 

 

 

Hi Christi,

Hows your plans are going regarding going home?

 

Are you going to rent first, then buy or are you going to buy a house straight away?

What about jobs? Will you try to apply for jobs before returning?

[Guest christi]

Hi Christi,

Hows your plans are going regarding going home?

 

Are you going to rent first, then buy or are you going to buy a house straight away?

What about jobs? Will you try to apply for jobs before returning?

 

Hi Landv

We are going to stay with friends when we first arrive.It will be so nice to catch up with them, and we will have so much to talk about.We will have to wait for our furniture to arrive, so Im hoping we can find a nice house, and start, the ball rolling, while we are waiting for furniture to arrive

Think we will just wait till we arrive in the UK, before we worry about jobs.We will need some chilling out time, I think, before we rush back to work

Hows things going for you?

Christi

[landv]

Hi Landv

We are going to stay with friends when we first arrive.It will be so nice to catch up with them, and we will have so much to talk about.We will have to wait for our furniture to arrive, so Im hoping we can find a nice house, and start, the ball rolling, while we are waiting for furniture to arrive

Think we will just wait till we arrive in the UK, before we worry about jobs.We will need some chilling out time, I think, before we rush back to work

Hows things going for you?

Christi

 

 

We stuck here for a while, my hubby has just got a really good job which after 2 years being at the company, he can then ask for a transfer to the UK, so here for another 2 years at least :cry:. We may as well stay on for an extra 6 months so we can get our citizenship as well.

Saving like crazy, so hopefully by the time we're going back, we will only have to take out a small mortgage and not starting again with nothing.

In the meantime, we will try to make the most of it being here and view it as extended working holiday. The thought that we won't be here forever is a huge weight off my shoulder.

[Stovies]

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I've been here many decades on and off in Oz. Never settled... just got on with it. Finally now, I,m in my fifties, hubby has a cancer, it was the impetus we needed to say "enough is enough". We may as well be in UK. Only enjoy Brit humour, watch UKTV constantly. My advice is... if you have a true yen to go home. DO IT. Don't waste any more chances. It is always possible to get home somehow. Your kids will make their own choice when no longer in your care. Your own culture, value systems & traditions are what keep you sane. Don't forego them. We are doing everything we can now to go back HOME...to somewhere on the Welsh English border. Sooooooo homesick. Don't wait like us until illness gives you the push. It may be too late then. Let me know how you go ok?

 

Thanks Cariad. I am glad that you are finally making going home happen for you. It's a shame that illness has given you the push but the push did happen and hopefully you will feel settled and happy again in the UK.

 

We are going full steam ahead! We are putting our property up for sale here, finding out about mortgages for the UK, arranging new homes for all but one of our pets (our big dog is coming with us!), organising UK passports, shipping quotes, etc etc etc.... it's all go! Christmas is just getting in the way this year! We hope to be sitting in our new house, in Scotland, 6 months (at the most) from now. I will update every now and again to give progress reports. The children are excited and it just seems that they are taking it as read that we are moving to Scotland. The last time we were going to do it (but backed out) they were whingeing and upset and didn't want to go. This time they are happily decluttering, telling their friends about the move and are generallly accepting of the whole situation. Who'd have thought? Let's hope that this continues! I think my attitude of being more positive this time around has changed theirs.

[Guest chris955]

Yep, same here, full steam ahead and lots to do but we are all very much looking forward to it.

[Guest Sally5]

A few months ago I was on here saying that we had finally made the decision to go back home to Scotland (we've been here over 11 years). Then I was on here saying, no, we have done a U-turn and are going to stay. However, a few months down the line, I find I still feel so miserable at being away from Scotland. We decided to stay here because of my husband's job and the kids are settled, blah, blah. What a dilemma. I wish we had just ran with it when we first made the 'final' decision to go home. I wish we hadn't backpeddled.

 

I just do not know what to do for the best. Any psychics out there?

 

:sad:

 

 

I know what you mean about Psychics, you want someone to decide for you, thats exactly how I felt 8 weeks ago when we made the "decision" to return. Lots of tears and sleepless night, but we are sticking to that decision and returning in Feb. Its such a hard decision to make.

 

I found that I had to see past the sunshine, beauty, wildlife etc. and dig deeper, the answer is there.

 

All the very best with your future.

 

Sally

[Guest chloew]

I know what you mean about Psychics, you want someone to decide for you, thats exactly how I felt 8 weeks ago when we made the "decision" to return. Lots of tears and sleepless night, but we are sticking to that decision and returning in Feb. Its such a hard decision to make.

 

I found that I had to see past the sunshine, beauty, wildlife etc. and dig deeper, the answer is there.

 

All the very best with your future.

 

Sally

 

 

 

We made the decision to move back to the UK and put our house on the market in October, still haven't sold it. At first we thought we'd be home for Christmas but that didn't happen. It's easy to get depressed and think maybe we should just stay, but we're being positive and looking forward to having two summers in a row instead! We have to keep reminding ourselves why we decided to move back in the first place. Hardest thing is when friends and family talk about the doom and gloom in the UK. Asking why on earth we want to move back when we live in such a great place. I just say that until they have tried living here then they don't know. Good luck with your move and keep smiling!

[Guest cariad]

Thanks Cariad. I am glad that you are finally making going home happen for you. It's a shame that illness has given you the push but the push did happen and hopefully you will feel settled and happy again in the UK.

 

We are going full steam ahead! We are putting our property up for sale here, finding out about mortgages for the UK, arranging new homes for all but one of our pets (our big dog is coming with us!), organising UK passports, shipping quotes, etc etc etc.... it's all go! Christmas is just getting in the way this year! We hope to be sitting in our new house, in Scotland, 6 months (at the most) from now. I will update every now and again to give progress reports. The children are excited and it just seems that they are taking it as read that we are moving to Scotland. The last time we were going to do it (but backed out) they were whingeing and upset and didn't want to go. This time they are happily decluttering, telling their friends about the move and are generallly accepting of the whole situation. Who'd have thought? Let's hope that this continues! I think my attitude of being more positive this time around has changed theirs.

Stovies.....well, we hope to be there at about the same time...UK I mean. Quite where? We dont know. A county affordable for us as permanent full time work not an option for us. Hubby's op went well. Our dogs have had rabies shots...6 month wait...then yippee! SO EXCITED! Cariad

[Creese]

Desparate to move back. been here four years and its not for us. We told all our friends and family back home that we want to move back, and ALL of them have said we are mad and that its not fair on our kids.

 

We had the same conversation with all of them when we went!! My sister in law is angry, as they have been on holiday here twice and love it and are desparate to get here, but getting a visa is proving difficult for them. She cannot understand our reasons why, and would swap any day. They havent lived here and have no idea as to what it is really like. My other sister in law lives in Sydney and loves it, so they have painted a different picture to them.

 

I feel trapped, we have a house that has been on the market since October. When we do sell it I will have to pay the bank $17,000 for breaking my fixed rate mortgage, so its either pay it or stay for another 2 years till the fixed rate ends. We have plenty of friends here, but there is no place like home. I miss my friends and family so much back there.

 

I have to stay here for another two years to pay of debts. I worked in the UK part time and had a nice life back there. I have two jobs here, one full time and my own business that I work at weekends (childrens birthday parties). We thought the grass was greener on the other side!!

 

We are both unhappy and long to move back. Our children are 7 & 11, but I have been told that they will adapt back to life in UK easy enough. Just dont know if I can stand being here for another 2 years until everything is paid off!!

[Guest guest30038]

Just dont know if I can stand being here for another 2 years until everything is paid off!!

 

You have to "stand it". Dwelling on how you feel about the place, and yearning to go back NOW, will only make you more miserable. Just get on with what you have to do, as hard as it may seem, and try and focus on what few positives you seem to have. Looking at the light at the end of the tunnel will only blind you............avert your eyes, put your head down, and struggle on, in the knowledge that you will eventually reach it.

 

Good luck.

 

kev

[Guest methuselah]

Well we're going back too, been here 3 years + so given it a good go, just unable to see what people rave about so much! Give us the UK any day!! I suppose with us we left it too late to emigrate - when you've lived in a country for so long it is home and nothing can ever replace that. our teenage girls are already there, we're just sorting the house, and they are seeing their old friends again, although they miss their friends here a lot. I just really, really wish we hadn't burned our boats before coming out and that we hadn't bought here straight away - we've lost thousands in the damned recession, if we had stayed at home we wouldn't have sold and we'd be no worse off. If.....

[Stovies]

Well we're going back too, been here 3 years + so given it a good go, just unable to see what people rave about so much! Give us the UK any day!! I suppose with us we left it too late to emigrate - when you've lived in a country for so long it is home and nothing can ever replace that. our teenage girls are already there, we're just sorting the house, and they are seeing their old friends again, although they miss their friends here a lot. I just really, really wish we hadn't burned our boats before coming out and that we hadn't bought here straight away - we've lost thousands in the damned recession, if we had stayed at home we wouldn't have sold and we'd be no worse off. If.....

 

Be grateful you have made the decision to go back home after 3 years, it could be worse and you could have done what we did and hung on and on, hoping things would get better, for almost 12 years!!! My regret is that we didn't go back sooner BUT, in hindsight, it probably wasn't the right time for the family then.... it definately is the right time now. When do you plan to go back?

[Guest scotland]

Hi Chris and others thought I would just jump in on this comment to let you know about the opportunities here - my husband does work on the side as a medic on the film sets - arranged for our son ( the animator) to go in and spend the day on the set of a major new movie. He spent an hour with the head of visual effects and left with a page of contact details and the offer of work as an extra ( he is handsome I must say). Eldest has been offered an interview for medicine at Imperial College (world class uni) the first of a few we hope.

 

In Oz middle son didn't even get an offer on an animation course, eldest is currently bored senseless (in Oz) and desperate to come home for some cerebral stimulation ( two and half weeks and counting) and husband would have spent most of his day ramping up at a hospital for five hours with a patient that shouldn't have been in hospital.

 

It may be a bit cold and grey some days but you certainly know you're alive - today snowy and very christmassy.

I totally agree with everything that you said. We left Perth after being there for 8 years and although we had a good lifestyle we felt that there was a lack of stimulation and opportunity.

[Guest Mazovia]

Kate, the children are 13, 11 and 9. The 13 year old and 9 year old (both girls) both have Asperger's Syndrome and are often away from school. There's not much education going on with my 13 year old (yesterday they watched Toy Story 3 at school!) but they have formed some friendships (and for Aspie kids that is a big thing) that I don't know how it things would be in Scotland for them. We have absolutely no friends here or family but in Scotland we have plenty of family and I am still in touch with my old friends. The support over there would be very good. But ....

 

 

Hi! Just noticed your post about your girls. Here is a link that may help you and your girls settle on your arrival in Scotland Perthshire Autism Connections - Connecting People with an Interest in Autism and Aspergers

 

All the best!

[Guest Mazovia]

Pommyoz, your post brought a tear to my eye. Your thoughts support my thoughts! I really have the feeling that this is make or break time. Things can't go on as they are. It is true, if we leave it any longer we will be in a postion of not really having the option to move due to the reasons you said. I am so sorry that you are in the position you are in. Thank you for reminding me (and warning me) of how things could be if we leave it too long.

 

Sue, thank you for your post too. All the things you say makes sense. Funnily enough, my neice is also a specialist learning support assistant at a school in the area we would be looking at moving too! I didn't really realise the importance (and significance) of this until lately. Thank you again.

 

Our latest thoughts are that we sell our place here (was going to do that anyway as 8 acres is just getting too much!), husband stays on at his job here while renting somewhere. Myself and the children go over to Scotland in say, 6 months time, and live with/beside my sister (her suggestion, she has a lovely place in the country near other family). We give ourselves a timescale of, say, 3/4 months to see how the children settle and how they cope with school and the general change. All goes well, husband comes over and he looks for a job in Scotland. All goes pear-shaped, myself and the children come back here and we buy another house near their school and take up where we left off.

 

How does that sound?

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Hi Stovies! Sounds like a very good plan. Stick to it!

[Flake]

I think Nothing worth having comes easy.

We all make decisions along the way and we can never really know if what we are doing is right.

without offering Cliches I think you should always follow your heart, you kids will re-settle, work will be available and all the pieces will come together. Life is too short to be dreaming of a place where you would rather be, this life is not a dress rehearsal, be positive that any decision made by your heart cannot be a mistake.