Going home after 3 years

[Guest christi]

I am new to this forum, and have been reading lots of posts, and find the forum really helpful

We moved here 3 years ago, came down to Tas, because we thought it would be wonderful......how wrong we were

We have tried so hard to make a go of it, my husband has built up a really good business, but thats about it

Theres nothing to do, the people are pretty weird and lots of them really do not like Poms,,,,,,and we have tried to make friends, but we just get dumped on, and find a lot of the people very nasty and vindictive. I know you get those types in the UK, but its far worse here.

We miss so much about the UK, the availablity of stuff, and the prices,,,,,Tas is a complete rip off, everything is so much dearer here.

Yes the houses are cheaper, but we miss being able to go to the theatres in London, and all the concerts that we used to go to

Aus is not what we thought,,,,,,we have travelled on the mainland, and there are some lovely places, but no-where we have thought we would like to settle.

I have been fighting this dreadful homesickness for 3 years now, thinking it would go eventually, but its getting worse, and to say I auctually hurt, inside everytime I think about home, probably sounds a bit daft, but its how I am now

I have been really ill this year and spent some time in hospital,,,,,,it was a pretty close call for me, and it has made me realise how precious time is, and all I could think of, was I dont want to end my days here.

 

We came to Aus, on a skilled visa,,,,,,,probaly pretty stupid, but we dident check out Aus first, we really did think the grass was greener,,,,,you read so much about how fantastic it is here, and it really does blind you, to what its really like

I know the UK, is far from perfect, but it will always be home

I was speaking to the currency exchange people and they said that there are so many of us going home, the most they have ever known,,,,,,so it did make me feel better, knowing its not just us who feel this way

We have had some good experiences and some very bad ones since we got here, but we will treat it and look back on it as something we had to do, to find out if it was right for us

We will be here for a while, it is going to take a while for us, to get everything sorted and make sure we get the best deals on removals etc, plus we have to tie up loose ends,,,,,,but we cant wait now,,,,,,so excited about going home,,,,,a little bit scared, but we know its right for us

I would love to hear from anyone else who is going home,and the reasons they are going home.:rolleyes:

[Guest gail.crease]

You poor thing....I think you've stuck it out long enough. It's not just Tas that has bullies in work. There's lots of bullies in my job in Melbourne and in hubby's job. I think it was like this in the UK 15-20 years ago but it wouldn't be tolerated now. I've noticed the level of aggression is much higher here especially on the roads. I won't generalise because I've met some lovely aussies that like poms. It's usually the ones that have lived in the UK in the past that like us.

 

We've been here over 2 1/2 years and haven't fully settled. Something is missing and I can't put my finger on it. Luckily we kept our house which I'm glad about now as we can't afford to buy a decent house in an area we like. We do like it but not sure we like it enough to be away from our friends and for the pain we're causing the grandparents. Our latest plan (and it changes a lot LOL) is we're going to give it 4 years get citizenship then go back for a year. If we miss Oz then sell up and move back.

 

Good luck with your move back.....from what you've described it sounds like the best decision for you and your family.

 

Gail

[Petals]

Sounds as though it has been rough. Although I love Tasmania to visit I would not like to live there due to the fact its an island away from the Mainland.

 

We just returned from the UK after being over there for two and a half months but we were pleased to get home. We came when we were young and before we had children so that makes a big difference on how we settled.

 

Have you been home for a holiday, if its a while till you go might help.

 

Good luck

[allthatmullarkey]

Hi Christi

We have been here for nearly 2 years and are in the process of going home. Myself and my daughter went home at easter and I think both of us realised what we were missing. No amount of sunshine and beaches can make up for family and life long friends. Like you I have thought about do I want to spend the rest of my life here and the answer is no, we have enjoyed the majority of our time here but just miss being English!!!!

I know what you mean about not being accepted and the bullying issue, the first ward I worked on was very difficult ,but I moved and the girls I work with are great far more multi cultural.

We are just trying to sell our house here in Townsville and then we're off.

Good luck with the move.

[Guest christi]

Thanks for that Gail, workplace bullying is a BIG problem here, like you say 15-20 years ago, it was like this in the UK, and I know it does still happen, but here it is just dreadful.My son lost a really well paid job, with a big retailer, because of bullying and jealousy,,,,,,and being so "set up" you would not beleive.

I tried every available avenue to get him help, and everyone just passed us from pillar to post, and he got no-where,,,,,,it was very sad to see.

I worked for the same company, and was treated as badly, and also for one of the big banks,,,,,that was a living hell

I have never experienced that sort of bullying before and it was a huge shock. Im a strong person, but I was going home in tears.I just could not beleive that in this day and age, behaviour like this is , is considered acceptable.

I havent worked for the last year or so, it has really taken my confidence,,,,,,,I cant wait to get home and just get back into a normal workplace. I know you get the odd nasty one there, but they dont seem to get away with it so much there and they are the minority

I know what you say, about really nice aussies,,,,,,they seem to be the ones who have lived in the uk, or have english parents

I reckon we will be here for another year or two, as my hubby is in the building trade and he has to fulfil his commitments before we go,,,,plus we need to get a bit more money behind us, or we will be going home, a lot poorer than when we came. Just glad the exchange rate is fantastic for a return,,,,,hope it stays that way

[Guest christi]

Good luck, I wish we were at the final stage now, but if you check my other post, you will see we are stuck here for a bit longer, but Im sure the time will fly,,,,,,now we have made the desicion to go. My husband was dead set against going home, but when I was sick, I think he realised that we really were on our own,,,,,,and if anything happened to either of us,,,,we would be snookered

I wish you lots of luck in selling your house, and getting home,,,,,,let us know how you go

Good Luck

[Guest christi]

Tas is pretty, in places, apart from all the vast areas that have been logged and all the dead wildlife. As you say nice for a visit, but not the best place to live

[Guest famousfive]

It must be a great relief to have made the decision after feeling out of sorts for so long.We also return home soon and even though we have not been homesick it is a great feeling to know the decision has been made.My OH is an aussie and we have lived here a few times before.I like it here but, like others, would never contemplate staying and growing old here.Over the years we have lived in different areas and different states.There is no denying it is a beautiful country but so are the countries we hail from[i'm irish].

The aussie people I have met have been nice and apart from a few issues that could have happened anywhere on earth in general we have been treated well here.

As we are returning home there is obviously a BUT...

We find oz has changed a lot,yes it still has beaches and sunshine,yes you can live well or struggle,yes you can make good friends or not but to be honest we find it's the people and the attitude that has changed.Then again,maybe it's only us that have changed,who knows?

I liken oz to a really beautiful window display,all glam and glitter on the outside but when you look underneath that it has little substance,little depth[personal thoughts,not fact].It is a great country for many,and for those who love it they would be mad not to live here if possible.But for those of us who are not so impressed the decision to return home or move elsewhere should be made sooner rather than later whilst we still have the wherewithall to do it.

I for one have no intention of staying and becoming a shadow of my former self because one thing I have learnt over the years is that even people in siberia smile,sunny climes haven't got the monopoly on happiness.

[Guest gail.crease]

Thanks for that Gail, workplace bullying is a BIG problem here, like you say 15-20 years ago, it was like this in the UK, and I know it does still happen, but here it is just dreadful.My son lost a really well paid job, with a big retailer, because of bullying and jealousy,,,,,,and being so "set up" you would not beleive.

I tried every available avenue to get him help, and everyone just passed us from pillar to post, and he got no-where,,,,,,it was very sad to see.

I worked for the same company, and was treated as badly, and also for one of the big banks,,,,,that was a living hell

I have never experienced that sort of bullying before and it was a huge shock. Im a strong person, but I was going home in tears.I just could not beleive that in this day and age, behaviour like this is , is considered acceptable.

I havent worked for the last year or so, it has really taken my confidence,,,,,,,I cant wait to get home and just get back into a normal workplace. I know you get the odd nasty one there, but they dont seem to get away with it so much there and they are the minority

I know what you say, about really nice aussies,,,,,,they seem to be the ones who have lived in the uk, or have english parents

I reckon we will be here for another year or two, as my hubby is in the building trade and he has to fulfil his commitments before we go,,,,plus we need to get a bit more money behind us, or we will be going home, a lot poorer than when we came. Just glad the exchange rate is fantastic for a return,,,,,hope it stays that way

 

Last year I witnessed a male colleague having a nervous breakdown from my bully boss. He complained to the boss above him but nothing was done. My female predecessor left because of my boss I'm told. Last week a female colleague who has only been with the department for 6 months was in floods of tears in the office. She's made an official complaint to HR. They were surprised none of us had complained. My response is I was told by other colleagues that this bully style of management was normal in the company. Hell will freeze over before my boss will make me cry and at the moment I'm poised to leave with a good reference so I don't want to rock the boat. However my confidence has been dinted too. I've got an interview with a big bank this week and I'm worried about moving company in case of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I was talking to a friend who was in recruitment/HR and asked if this was indicative of working here. She said it was so I'm really worried about moving company now. I've worked in quite a few countries but I've never seen such lack of respect for employees by bosses like I've seen here. On the flip side I've been told things have changed back home because of the recession and it's a more cut-throat environment so who knows what it's like back there now.

 

We're a lot poorer than when we arrived too so we'd have to save to go back.

 

Gail

[Guest christi]

what a great reply,,,,,yeah you are so right what you say. Would you return to Ireland do you think?

Ive never been there , but I have heard it is a beautiful place

It is such a releif when you make that desicion, I havent got family back home, but so many friends,,,and true friends, that would lay thier life on the line for us. They are so pleased we are coming back,,,,its great to know they have missed us , as much as we have missed them.

We come from a village on the outskirts of Milton Keynes, and it was surrounded by lovely countryside, but so close to great shopping, and just about every retail park you can imagine.London was a 20 minute train journey,,,,,,,,,,we were horrified when we realised Tas doeasant have trains!!!!, apart from frieght ones. No awaydays for us there....LOL

[Guest christi]

Its a hard desicion,to know if you jumping from the frying pan etc etc,,,,,,,,my fanchisee at the company that my son and I worked for was an aussie,,,,,although he is of argentinian descent,,,,he had been with the company for 20 years, and because the nasty spiteful,admin manager just did not like him,,,,,he would not stoop to her level, he was removed,,,,,given 1 hour to leave the building.He has a young family, a mortgage and was the nicest guy you could ever wish to meet. I watched him"break" and it was dreadful, and there was not a damm thing he could do about it

He still has not managed to pick himself up,,,,I would be surprised if he ever works again. He was so broken.

He had so many witnesses to what had happened and he could still not get anywhere, so very sad

[Kazzarazza]

Hi Christi,

 

We spent 3 years in Tas and can understand how you feel. But, it's not just Poms that the Tassies don't like - it's anyone from interstate too. We were actually asked where we prefer to live, Tasmania or Australia -WTF!???!! We originally emigrated to Adelaide where it was love at first landing, had to relocate to Tassie with work. Interestingly, we became very homesick, but for Adelaide, not the UK. We have now been back here 15 years and have not regretted it for a minute. Whilst I agree it is a beautiful place and I would go back in a heartbeat for a holiday - I too would not want to spend the rest of my life there. It is expensive because of the small population and the fact everything has to be shipped across the Bass Strait.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide, Kazza

[Guest famousfive]

Spent a lovely weekend in milton keynes years ago,stayed in a wonderful little hotel right beside a small lake.Can't remember the name now but it was owned by Allied Domecq at the time and we paid next to nothing as we worked in a sister hotel in St.Albans.My brother also lived in Leighton Buzzard[spelling?] not far from there.Mom was in England two weeks ago and was shopping at the big center there.Small world eh?

Yes we will return to Ireland even though it is travelling a rough road at the moment.We are lucky to have organised a lease on a business there and know it can work as our other ventures in the area have in the past.Hard work and a stuborn attitude should see us well.We briefly contemplated moving to france but the hubbie has spent a long time in a gaelic speaking part of ireland and never managed the language so would be hard on him language wise.I speak french,kids are bilingual already and would cope fine learning french but to be honest his english is suspect at times so france may be pushing it...lol.

I come from an island myself and understand island time and island attitudes but could not cope with Tasmania I think.Never knew about the trains,how strange,if they have the infrastructure why not use it?

[Guest christi]

WOW, what a small world!!!you were spot on with your Leighton Buzzard spelling...LOL

I struggle with regional accents in England sometimes,,,,,let alone galeic. My French can just about see me through a day-trip,,,,,but even that can get me into trouble.

Apparantly they did used to have passenger trains here, but it took 3 days to get to Hobart from Launceston!!! and an elderly lady we were talking to said you could auctually get off the train and pick flowers,,,it was that slow!!!. Sounds unreal.

I will look back on all of this and laugh one day,,,,,,but I think I will be comftably settled in the UK, and be enjoying my gas central heating, sainsburys,sage and onion stuffing and M&S big warm knickers!!!!. I do order online, but its just not the same....LOL

[Guest christi]

SORRY :laugh:I CANT EVEN SPELL GAELIC PROPERLY NOW!!!

[andromeda9]

I have not read all the posts only glanced because we all have different opinions, as you are here I think you should cross to Melbourne, hire a camper spend if at all possible a month to six weeks driving and exploring the journey through to the sunshine coast , book your flight back to the UK from there, as the saying goes give it a fair go, dont think anyone could have felt as bad as me in being homesick, did go back for nine months before returning ,been here in all almost four years and loving it makes me smile now to think that I didn't want to be here, all the best in what you eventually do

regards Lynda

[Guest chris955]

It's a very difficult situation to be in and it seems to be more and more common, many people are making the wrong (IMO) decision to come here blind and they find out it is in fact like anywhere else, you work, you pay bills, you see crime and on top of all the usual stuff you are away from home. This country offers some people an idyllic life, for others it is the exact opposite.

My feeling is that if in your heart you know it isn't for you then you must go home and not 'waste' more of your life being somewhere you don't want to be.

[Guest christi]

Oh yeah, I think we will do some travelling before we go, but I just know where my heart is, and I do really feel I have turned the corner , and the grimy old UK, is where we want to be:daydreaming:

[Guest christi]

You are so right.......................I feel physically ill, somedays, just wanting to be home,,,,,,and how I long to see proper snow,,,,,,,,better get a white christmas when I get home,,,,,,,how unfair the last 2 have been white, since we have been away.:laugh:

[Guest red35]

I am new to this forum, and have been reading lots of posts, and find the forum really helpful

We moved here 3 years ago, came down to Tas, because we thought it would be wonderful......how wrong we were

We have tried so hard to make a go of it, my husband has built up a really good business, but thats about it

Theres nothing to do, the people are pretty weird and lots of them really do not like Poms,,,,,,and we have tried to make friends, but we just get dumped on, and find a lot of the people very nasty and vindictive. I know you get those types in the UK, but its far worse here.

We miss so much about the UK, the availablity of stuff, and the prices,,,,,Tas is a complete rip off, everything is so much dearer here.

Yes the houses are cheaper, but we miss being able to go to the theatres in London, and all the concerts that we used to go to

Aus is not what we thought,,,,,,we have travelled on the mainland, and there are some lovely places, but no-where we have thought we would like to settle.

I have been fighting this dreadful homesickness for 3 years now, thinking it would go eventually, but its getting worse, and to say I auctually hurt, inside everytime I think about home, probably sounds a bit daft, but its how I am now

I have been really ill this year and spent some time in hospital,,,,,,it was a pretty close call for me, and it has made me realise how precious time is, and all I could think of, was I dont want to end my days here.

Our 22 year old son came with us as well,,,,,,he hates it, and has been treated so badly ,in the couple of jobs he has had,as I have.Bullying in the workplace is a huge problem in Tas,,,,,,not sure about the rest of oz, but Tas is unreal for nasty bullies,who make life an absolute hell for anyone they deem to be different!!!!

Our son, is looking at going home very soon, as soon as he can find a job, back home.

 

We came to Aus, on a skilled visa,,,,,,,probaly pretty stupid, but we dident check out Aus first, we really did think the grass was greener,,,,,you read so much about how fantastic it is here, and it really does blind you, to what its really like

I know the UK, is far from perfect, but it will always be home

I was speaking to the currency exchange people and they said that there are so many of us going home, the most they have ever known,,,,,,so it did make me feel better, knowing its not just us who feel this way

We have had some good experiences and some very bad ones since we got here, but we will treat it and look back on it as something we had to do, to find out if it was right for us

We will be here for a while, it is going to take a while for us, to get everything sorted and make sure we get the best deals on removals etc, plus we have to tie up loose ends,,,,,,but we cant wait now,,,,,,so excited about going home,,,,,a little bit scared, but we know its right for us

I would love to hear from anyone else who is going home,and the reasons they are going home.:rolleyes:

Hi Christi

 

You have been here long enough to know that it is not right for you. I wish I had followed my instinct and gone home a lot sooner. We have been living in Melbourne now for 7 years and finally I have got my husband to agree to go home. I have been diagnosed with Clinical depression,IBS and the list goes on all due to stress and isolation.

 

I dont care how much the sun shines it does not compensate for not having your family and friends around you. The feeling of being settled is what I miss the most. I just wish we were able to leave today lol,but unfortuantly have to wait 6 months for the dogs.

 

We do have dual nationality so are lucky in the fact that if we decide to come back we can, especially as our two children (19 & 15) may decide later on that they want to . But for now Home is calling and I cant wait to touch down on English soil again.

 

 

Good luck

[Happy Lass]

Wow. Christi, I have been on the wrong end of work-place bullying in England and fully sympathise with what you, Gail and your colleagues have been through but I am also horrified that you have apparently allowed this to colour your view of Tasmanians and Tasmania!

 

Until I moved here permanently I have been a regular visitor to Tasmania and your posts (and the other negative posts about Tasmania here) contradicts everything I know and have experienced here. Tasmania is a beautiful and friendly place to live. I find Tasmanians to be helpful, patient, creative, hard-working and happy souls. Yes some things are expensive here but so were things in the UK so just as I did in the UK I do here: order my goods from someone who charges a price that I find reasonable or do it myself. I love Tasmania and I wouldn't swap it for all the world. :wubclub:

 

Good luck with your move; I'm sad that you had such a distressing time here and I hope you find a better employer at your new destination.

[Guest siamsusie]

I couldnt agree more HL. For people to say the people are unfriendly to inter staters and foreigners amazes me....

Airs & Graces and attitude are quickly seen through by the Tasmanians and obviously it gets their backs up. It is one of the friendliest states I have come across! Basically it is one huge village, with its population wanting to do a good turn rather than a bad one...... Susie x

[Parley]

Workplace Bullying is illegal and should not be happening in a major bank. I would be very surprised if it were.

If you believe it to be the case, there will be avenues you can follow to air your concerns. There is the Finance Sector Union who can also help you.

 

Of course, you have a bad boss who you don't get on with, but it may not actually be workplace bullying. The good thing about working for a large organisation is you should be able to transfer to a new role that is more suitable for you.

 

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Quoll]

Good luck with the move, Christi! It must be so liberating to have finally made the decision about where you belong and where you want to spend your future. I concur with the bullying - the APS (public service) is renowned for it with some departments being worse than others of course and our local PS was not too brilliant either and any legislation which says it is banned is weak as dishwater, you never can beat them. Now working in not for profit agency and in general we havent seen the same levels of bullying but other agencies I work with sound right little cesspits from all accounts.

 

I hope it all goes brilliantly for you and that you all land firmly on your feet in UK!

[sgperry]

At my last employer, Marks and Spencer, I was bullied awfully by my manager, subjected to homophobia and so on - but to be fair, this was the first time I had encountered it in over 20 years of working in the UK. Nevertheless, it can happen anywhere.

 

However, there are laws and unions in both Australia and the UK to deal with such issues.

 

I understand the sentiments of people in this thread - whether its the UK or Australia, at the end of the day "there's no place like home". And as the saying goes, "home is where the heart is".

 

For all of the 21 years I lived in London, I always considered Australia to be home. Good and bad, warts and all. And I am sure there are people who feel the same about their home towns in the UK.

 

The one thing that helped me cope during those years in London - cold winters, awful fruit and veg, long traffic jams, etc - was knowing that I was only 24 hours away from home. Just one plane ride.

 

And so I made myself a promise to come home every 18 months - 2 years, until I came back to Oz for good. Now I have made my friends and myself a promise to do the opposite - to return to London every couple of years to visit friends and get a dose of that wonderful city.

 

The way I see it, I have the best of both worlds.