Conniebygaslight Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 We have booked flights for our return at the end of August whch is only 3 months away- I know that a lot of people on MBTTUK are stuck here for one thing or another and of course I should be grateful but I still feel rubbish. 3 months seems ages away (although of course it isn't) I can't enjoy my time here really as my husband is out working really early until really late and I feel like a single mum- each day just feels like groundhog day I can't just potter (athough I do) because I feel trapped. I get out as much as I can but just feel everything drives me mad(I know this is my state of mind). Like many that don't want to be here I am usually such a happy upbeat person but feel like a diferent person here. I've met lots of people here (when I was more lke my oldself when we arrived) and see some most days but of course nobody wants a moaner especially if it's about their country- i find I'm retreating more and more. We have family here who I have to smile for because they are not happy about us going home at all....heyho:err: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Think of it in weeks, start planning all the things you have to do before then and make a start. Is there anything you want to do or see before you leave? Perhaps you could set yourself a task each day to achieve, or plan some things that are just for you on a weekly basis - go swimming it's an activity you can do alone. You say you've made some friends - plan a dinner party, farewell ... do a UK theme and go out looking for/making stuff for the party. Cross each week off as it comes to an end and you'll soon be on the plane back to the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 very good advice,it seems so far away now but soon you will turn around one day and say "Oh my god,only 4 wks to go and I have so much left to do yet.Will I ever get it all done in time?" My best advice would be to keep yourself busy and try not count the days as it will drag on that way.Why not take one day a week to have a look around your favourite areas taking lots of lovely photos to bring home with you,or maybe set about arranging a homecoming party for when you get home and a going away party here and of course if you have kids you could arrange a wee party for them to have a final shindig with all their buddies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Calendar and big red pen - I'd even go down to counting the days - if it is less than 100 it will zip past and all of a sudden you are down from 90 to 60 and can see the road ahead. I know what you mean though, it is like groundhog day and the best way I get through it is to go to work every day even though technically I should have retired - not sure how I am going to cope when my time reverts back to part time at the end of the month. Meanwhile I am thinking that I will be counting down to October - I think that is when I will book my next sanity hit. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Calendar and big red pen - I'd even go down to counting the days - if it is less than 100 it will zip past and all of a sudden you are down from 90 to 60 and can see the road ahead. I know what you mean though, it is like groundhog day and the best way I get through it is to go to work every day even though technically I should have retired - not sure how I am going to cope when my time reverts back to part time at the end of the month. Meanwhile I am thinking that I will be counting down to October - I think that is when I will book my next sanity hit. :hug: That's what I do. Unfortunately, I've been doing that since day 1. When it drops below 100 you're literally on the home straight. Right now the planning (and worrying!) about getting everything ready is making the days race by. You'll get there :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 very good advice,it seems so far away now but soon you will turn around one day and say "Oh my god,only 4 wks to go and I have so much left to do yet.Will I ever get it all done in time?"My best advice would be to keep yourself busy and try not count the days as it will drag on that way.Why not take one day a week to have a look around your favourite areas taking lots of lovely photos to bring home with you,or maybe set about arranging a homecoming party for when you get home and a going away party here and of course if you have kids you could arrange a wee party for them to have a final shindig with all their buddies. Thanks for the advice and I don't mean to poo poo any ideas but to be honest seeing anywhere isnt really possible as we are saving every penny we can and husband is working such long hours we can't go anywhere. Weve been to Oz lots of times so we have seen a fair bit and we will have to come back to visit family so that's not really a problem. As for a leaving do or party- that's impossible- the family here are far too upset and if they get wind that we are having any sort of do would be a real smack in the face. We don't even discuss the fact that we are going back it's a constant Elephant in the room. If it does get mentioned we are subject to a barrage of 'why and how could you and we are making a huge mistake etc, etc. So we just all say nothing. we have only been here a short time and it seems like an eternity- I have marked the date on the calendar but have to keep it hidden from the family members. My husband has been away from Oz for over 20 years and they were thrilled when we came - everyone feels let down by us I guess:arghh: Going to be a long 3 months I think- not really in a position to be smiling -although I know I will be when we get back after the tears of leaving here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Doaldsons Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 what connie has written it feels like i had written it myself, we leave 31st aug, after being here 18months, i'm counting down the days also but can't be bothered doing much, we cant afford to live in melbourne any longer, we are going back to elgin scotland to build a new house as hubby is a builder, had a lot of ups and downs as middle son is going to stay here which makes me sad, but he's 19 and can make up his own mind his cousin said he can live with them which lightens it a bit, but for now counting the days, nicki in lysterfield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carron Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 My parents emigrated to Perth when I was a child and I loved Australia from day one, it felt like home! Three years ago we moved to Dubai for ten years...I lasted eighteen months and left my husband up there and came home to the beautiful Sunshine Coast. I felt exactly as you do...it is the pits and as I have never suffered depression/homesickness before so it came as a bit of a shock. Be really kind to yourself and do what is best for you! A lot of people gave me a hard time about leaving Dubai but now I go to visit my husband I notice they are all fed up and want to come home to Oz! He is trying to get a job back here...cos after three years he has had enough too! Home is where your heart is and it is different for everyone. I now appreciate where I live every day and will never take it for granted. In the short term can you get some help re counselling. Having someone who is not judgemental about how you feel can be a big help. Hoping time flies for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 So sad to hear that the family in Oz cannot support you guys in making a change that seems best for your family.I know it's hard when you are taking kids away,believe me I have done it a few times now and about to do it again next year. We have always found that when we told people we were moving here they were sad to see us go but were supportive of our decision.On the other hand,on this side of the world when we told people we were heading home again they thought we were crazy and even stupid to even contemplate such a thing. I think it's in the aussie psyche to think oz is the bees knees to all and sundry-it is a beautiful place but for many it just is not HOME. I hope the time goes quickly for you and wish I had some words of wisdom that would help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byrned Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 We have booked flights for our return at the end of August whch is only 3 months away- I know that a lot of people on MBTTUK are stuck here for one thing or another and of course I should be grateful but I still feel rubbish. 3 months seems ages away (although of course it isn't) I can't enjoy my time here really as my husband is out working really early until really late and I feel like a single mum- each day just feels like groundhog day I can't just potter (athough I do) because I feel trapped. I get out as much as I can but just feel everything drives me mad(I know this is my state of mind). Like many that don't want to be here I am usually such a happy upbeat person but feel like a diferent person here. I've met lots of people here (when I was more lke my oldself when we arrived) and see some most days but of course nobody wants a moaner especially if it's about their country- i find I'm retreating more and more. We have family here who I have to smile for because they are not happy about us going home at all....heyho:err: Hey Connie, just think to yourself, you are going and how lucky you are, imagine stuck here forever, hold that thought, that at least will perk you up, you lucky lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 So sad to hear that the family in Oz cannot support you guys in making a change that seems best for your family.I know it's hard when you are taking kids away,believe me I have done it a few times now and about to do it again next year.We have always found that when we told people we were moving here they were sad to see us go but were supportive of our decision.On the other hand,on this side of the world when we told people we were heading home again they thought we were crazy and even stupid to even contemplate such a thing. I think it's in the aussie psyche to think oz is the bees knees to all and sundry-it is a beautiful place but for many it just is not HOME. I hope the time goes quickly for you and wish I had some words of wisdom that would help. Strange isn't it-they all think we are crazy- so far our life here has been husband working a 15 hour day me feeling isolated because everything is so far away and nothing is easily accessible after you've exhausted the nearest small city. We have only been here since end of Jan and they cannot understand why we would want to go back and don't hink Oz is great when my husband grew up here. We had a great life in UK and it was our choice to ome here to be near family- but we didn't take into account everything else. They wouldn't have been like it if we hadn't come in the first place. I know they hurt but we are doing the right thing for us-just makes it 10 times harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hey Connie, just think to yourself, you are going and how lucky you are, imagine stuck here forever, hold that thought, that at least will perk you up, you lucky lady. I know Byrned that I'm lucky and this is why we are going so soon- other than we can't stand it- we don't want the kids to get too used to aussie family being around- we have to do it now while they are still young enough and not want to leave- perish the thought..! Still feel like the walls are closing in though....:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Caitmelbourne Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Ah hun, 3 months will fly!! You've been on a complete rollercoster of emotions (sounds cheesy I know) but try using the the time to get back to some kind of mental status quo before doing the whole moving thing again. And congrats on booking the tickets :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sophi Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 We have booked flights for our return at the end of August whch is only 3 months away- I know that a lot of people on MBTTUK are stuck here for one thing or another and of course I should be grateful but I still feel rubbish. 3 months seems ages away (although of course it isn't) I can't enjoy my time here really as my husband is out working really early until really late and I feel like a single mum- each day just feels like groundhog day I can't just potter (athough I do) because I feel trapped. I get out as much as I can but just feel everything drives me mad(I know this is my state of mind). Like many that don't want to be here I am usually such a happy upbeat person but feel like a diferent person here. I've met lots of people here (when I was more lke my oldself when we arrived) and see some most days but of course nobody wants a moaner especially if it's about their country- i find I'm retreating more and more. We have family here who I have to smile for because they are not happy about us going home at all....heyho:err: It will fly by.... we booked our flights 10 weeks before and i cant believe we leave next week!!!!! stay possitive and just look to the future. all the best:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted June 4, 2010 Author Share Posted June 4, 2010 It will fly by.... we booked our flights 10 weeks before and i cant believe we leave next week!!!!! stay possitive and just look to the future. all the best:hug: Good luck to you:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilliantay Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 We have booked flights for our return at the end of August whch is only 3 months away- I know that a lot of people on MBTTUK are stuck here for one thing or another and of course I should be grateful but I still feel rubbish. 3 months seems ages away (although of course it isn't) I can't enjoy my time here really as my husband is out working really early until really late and I feel like a single mum- each day just feels like groundhog day I can't just potter (athough I do) because I feel trapped. I get out as much as I can but just feel everything drives me mad(I know this is my state of mind). Like many that don't want to be here I am usually such a happy upbeat person but feel like a diferent person here. I've met lots of people here (when I was more lke my oldself when we arrived) and see some most days but of course nobody wants a moaner especially if it's about their country- i find I'm retreating more and more. We have family here who I have to smile for because they are not happy about us going home at all....heyho:err: Hi, How lucky you are to be returning......................I am having a 'good day' today and can see the positives in staying here - of course this may all change again by tomorrow or even 1 hour from now ! Just received notification from a friend back in Scotland that 1500 nursing posts are being 'culled' in Tayside where I originate from so I am thankful that I have employment here. Each day that passes is one day closer to getting on that flight home - have you started to cross the days off on the calendar ? I really hope that you find contentment in your last weeks here. I am crossing the days off till I go home for a visit and I don't go until the end of the year - something to work towards. Wishing you happiness Gillian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 We have booked flights for our return at the end of August whch is only 3 months away- I know that a lot of people on MBTTUK are stuck here for one thing or another and of course I should be grateful but I still feel rubbish. 3 months seems ages away (although of course it isn't) I can't enjoy my time here really as my husband is out working really early until really late and I feel like a single mum- each day just feels like groundhog day I can't just potter (athough I do) because I feel trapped. I get out as much as I can but just feel everything drives me mad(I know this is my state of mind). Like many that don't want to be here I am usually such a happy upbeat person but feel like a diferent person here. I've met lots of people here (when I was more lke my oldself when we arrived) and see some most days but of course nobody wants a moaner especially if it's about their country- i find I'm retreating more and more. We have family here who I have to smile for because they are not happy about us going home at all....heyho:err: It will go faster than you think. I am one who can not return home and I would like to be in your shoes right now. Just bide your time and then when you get home enjoy everybody and everything that made you want to return home and enjoy :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MSTO Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Honestly it will go really fast. I know I have said before when we decided to return it was a year ago and now it is only 10 more sleeps..Yeah. That year really has flown by. You will find that you have so much to do in the next few weeks that it will be here for your know it. Good luck:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Good luck and keep strong i cannot imagine how hard it must be to go through all those emotions and stress twice in such a short space of time , but you have tried and at least you can get on with it when you go back ! remember the saying * MY LIFES NOT YOUR LIFE !* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kiriforge Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Hi guys, I need someone to talk to outside of my family. I can't keep asking them what to do because they give me the same answer 'it's your life' I have been in oz for 2 years. I met my boyfriend here on my first day. We didn't get together straight away because we both came out to travel and 'find ourselves' we kept in touch and eventually got together. 2 years on he's sponsored and I'm de facto. He loves it here and I did too- for a while. For the pass year I've been home sick. I have an incredibly close bond with my family especially my sisters. Since me coming out here for a 'holiday' that turned into two years they have had children and are engaged. I constantly feel like I'm missing out. I feel like a part of me is missing. I have lots of friends and from an outsider I look like I'm having a whale of a time. My boyfriend and I want to get engaged within the next year or so. I love hlm-he is my one. We went home together for 2 weeks, wev been back for 3 days. Not long I no. Wen we were at heathrow I couldn't help but feel like I'd made the wring decision and shud b staying in England. I absolutely live it there. Since I got back, I can't eat or sleep and I constantly ring my mum and sisters. He was do happy wen we landed back in bris but I felt suffocated like I was stuck here again. It feels like there is no end or light at the end of the tunnel. I really want to go home but he won't. Ever. I'm not sure what I'll do wen I get home, I can't live in my sisters pockets forever. I don't want to live alone and I certainly don't want to live without him. I don't want anyone else. Suggestions on a postcard please... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 Just wanted to say that our Australian family here have now accepted our move- although my elderly MIL & FIL are upset (there are lots of family here to help them). We leave in 6 weeks and are obviously very busy sorting things out-why oh why do I still feel like a prisoner. Husband still working out from 5.20am until 8pm. I'm getting out and about (like I always have) but feel like the walls are closing in...ridiculous I know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 my motto is to breath in and breath out and put one foot in front of the other. All will be fine - just breath and know this and let the crappy feelings pass. You will be fine and everything will work out just trust this. try to take in the good things about Oz that you want to hold onto. sending you best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I am very envious and would love to be leaving in three months ...use the itme to make sure you see anything you have seen in Australia that you want to , do things you want to do....cause its a long way back !! Good luck , see you in 6 years x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 I am very envious and would love to be leaving in three months ...use the itme to make sure you see anything you have seen in Australia that you want to , do things you want to do....cause its a long way back !! Good luck , see you in 6 years x 6 years? why so long...? I have no desire to see more of Oz (have been many times)and and can't anyway as we have 3 young children and Hubby works 2 hours away. We will be back as we have lots have family here. 6 weeks today we will be in the air- I feel so sorry for anyone who is where they don't want to be.:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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