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Cazza

Going home too soon?

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Posted (edited)

6 months in and we have decided to go back to the UK. The kids just haven't settled, missing family and friends so much and are plain miserable. I too feel that I am ready to return, despite this place being unbelievably beautiful. I

Just wondering if anyone else has left so soon and if they had any regrets?

Edited by Cazza

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Yes. And we returned a few years later. We should have stuck it out. It isn’t easy settling into a new country so far from family and friends. 

Were you very close to family ?


So many wineries ......so little time :yes:

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Yes very close, my Dad turns 70 in July so that is defo on my mind a lot. How long were you here the 1st time before you went back?

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Have you got a permanent visa? If so, try and stay the four years so you can get your citizenship. It takes a least a couple of years to adjust to a new country and build new friendships. Try taking a holiday back to the UK, hopefully it will make your decision clearer. I know I found my first year here really tough but 9 years on I have no regrets and could not imagine myself living in the UK again.

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This was me a few years ago. We came out to Australia in 2009, the kids were fine it was me that couldn't settle. So six months later we packed up and went back to the UK. It was strange because I was glad to go home, but didn't settle straight away. I didn't and still don't feel like I belong anywhere! We stayed in UK for about 3 and a half years, then with the visa travel date about to run out we decided to go back to Australia. We've been here 6 years now but I still feel the pull of 'home'. It's very difficult and the second time my youngest didn't want to come back to Oz, and we had many months of tears. I went back to UK last year for my brother's wedding and it felt right as soon as I landed, and I thought "yeah i could quite happily live here again". No easy answer hon. You just gotta do what feels right to you. All the best.

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way too soon in my opinion, takes a couple of years to settle (we have done the move in 2011 but returned due to visa running out). We are now 18 months in, have brought a house and starting to feel settled. PR helps!

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5 minutes ago, can1983 said:

way too soon in my opinion, takes a couple of years to settle (we have done the move in 2011 but returned due to visa running out). We are now 18 months in, have brought a house and starting to feel settled. PR helps!

Having PR and having your own house definitely helps!  I absolutely hated renting.  Even with that some people just can't settle.  The pull of 'back home' is just too strong and it's not just migrants to Australia.  Plenty of people who opted to go to Canada,  NZ or the USA feel the same.

 

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Hard to say. Personally I think you know if you belong or not and there's nothing magical about the 2 year thing. However, belt and braces and all that - if you can hack  it for 4 years and get citizenship then you can come and go at will. But, you said your  kids just can't settle and that's probably key here - if they're teens then it's a hard gig to move to a foreign country on the other side of the world and some cliques in HS can be monsters towards new migrants. If it's only been 6 months you stand some chance of getting much of your life back. Leave it much longer and the world back  home has  got on without you and there is no going back, only moving forward. 

End of the day, there's nothing in the rule book that says you have to love and live in Australia, it's just another first world country and the UK has just as  much to offer. You may end up with curse of the expat and have perennially itchy feet or you may just get back and feel like a pig in mud, you're not going to know which it will be until you do it.  Personally I would not be buying a new home until you're 100% certain that your future lies in Australia - nothing like a bloody great mill stone around your neck to make you hate the place even more if  there is no semblance of escape possible.

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We have been here 8 months and we have good days and bad days. I definitely feel like if I gave up now it would be too soon. I have young children so it’s not too much of an issue with them. Have you made any friends yet? Joined any groups? Have the kids made friends? I think that would take time but also crucial to settling somewhere new I think. We don’t have any friends yet but that’s something we are going to work on now we are settled mor win jobs etc... good luck either way!

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Tell me you didn’t actually expect to be settled in 6 months??

 

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