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Thanks for all your responses! I've just remortgaged but the term is only 2 years so by the time I get skills assessment and visa stuff going that will come around quickly. Both mortgages are with the same company so hopefully won't be an issue but I have a decent mortgage advisor who will help me when the time comes. I think @Marisawright 's idea of selling the rental makes good sense to me and keep my home and rent out until we decide 100 per cent if we want to stay in Australia. The wife keeps talking about trying for a year but it worries me spending so much money to get out there, leaving perfectly acceptable jobs to just come back after a year and search the UK for another job. I'd rather cut my ties with it and dive straight into Australia and make it work. That's relationships for you! 

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1 hour ago, matre123 said:

The wife keeps talking about trying for a year but it worries me spending so much money to get out there, leaving perfectly acceptable jobs to just come back after a year and search the UK for another job. I'd rather cut my ties with it and dive straight into Australia and make it work. That's relationships for you! 

If you've got no kids, then you could do a year.   I would still sell one of the houses, but put your stuff in storage instead of shipping it.  Then rent a modest place in Australia and furnish it from IKEA (or buy second-hand) until you decide whether you want to stay forever.  

However, if your wife is putting the brakes on, I'd think very hard before you go ahead.   Migrating is highly stressful, even when you're both itching to move.   If your wife is just going along with the idea to make you happy, it's a recipe for divorce - especially if she's very close to her family and friends.  

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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The wife is a confusing one. We do have a child who is 2 and a half. We've had little help from either sides family ever since he was born even though we were living with her mum for the first year of his life. The wife brought it up again after we put it on the back burner when the little one was born and I was having issues with my skills assessment. Getting my skills assessment back on track and she isnt extremely close to friends and family. All the contact we do have we can have a similar amount from oz over video calls and messages etc. 

I think if she spent time out there she would realise how much better than the UK it is (at least that's what I think) that's why she's set on Perth, I have a 2nd cousin out there and just one familiar face can do the world of good. 

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Life in Australia is not better, it’s just different. Some people prefer the Australian lifestyle and some people prefer the British one. There are pros and cons to both. 

Personally, I prefer Australia but it’s just a personal preference, life here suits me better and I was never very close to my family. 

However, some people are very attached to their family. It’s not about whether the family is supportive or not, it’s about connections. Such people will be deeply unhappy in Australia and no amount of sun or financial success will ever make up for it. 

 

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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9 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Life in Australia is not better,

This. I can confirm that I work harder here than back in the UK.


IELTS : 13/08/16: W8 S8 L9 R9. F2w ID Check/Rcvd: 15/08/16, 23/08/16 HCPC/SoR CoGS sent: 23/08/16. Skills Ax sent/Rcvd/granted: 30/08/16, 12/09/16, 10/10/16. AHPRA sent/AIP : 05/09/16, 28/12/16. EoI/invited: 20/1/17, 01/02/17. 189 submitted: 06/02/17, Caseworker: 23/02/17. Medicals: 31/03/17. Grant: 12/04/17. Child 101 submitted: 09/06/17. Granted: 06/07/17. Landed: 01/09/17.

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My cousin has said he works very hard out there too, working 6 days a week every week. I'm under no illusions on that front but everything I have seen and experienced in Australia makes me want to get out there. The wife would like to be closer to her family but its always her that makes the effort and gets nothing in return. It will be harder for her but she is a very logical thinker and doesn't deal with emotions ruling her head. The only reason why we didn't make the move before was because we had a baby and she thought people would help us especially as he's our first we would need the help. That didn't really happen and she is still recovering from giving birth 2.5 years on and we have no plans for having any more kids. We both want something different and she has said if our mental well being in Australia and lifestyle is better then we will stay. I can't see it not being to be honest except the money side. She has said money doesn't matter as long as we're happy but on some level it does so we can have the life we want. She has said she's worried about the summers being too hot and that would cause us to be inside for a different reason to the UK but perths is a dry heat and I've heard that's more bearable than a humid one.. Can anyone help me calm her fears please? Thanks everyone for your replies so far. 

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21 minutes ago, matre123 said:

My cousin has said he works very hard out there too, working 6 days a week every week. I'm under no illusions on that front but everything I have seen and experienced in Australia makes me want to get out there. The wife would like to be closer to her family but its always her that makes the effort and gets nothing in return. It will be harder for her but she is a very logical thinker and doesn't deal with emotions ruling her head. The only reason why we didn't make the move before was because we had a baby and she thought people would help us especially as he's our first we would need the help. That didn't really happen and she is still recovering from giving birth 2.5 years on and we have no plans for having any more kids. We both want something different and she has said if our mental well being in Australia and lifestyle is better then we will stay. I can't see it not being to be honest except the money side. She has said money doesn't matter as long as we're happy but on some level it does so we can have the life we want. She has said she's worried about the summers being too hot and that would cause us to be inside for a different reason to the UK but perths is a dry heat and I've heard that's more bearable than a humid one.. Can anyone help me calm her fears please? Thanks everyone for your replies so far. 

I'm not in WA but i am in QLD,,,  a small of handful of days you find its too hot to do anything if it doesnt involve air con, we spend less time inside here than we did in the UK due to being rained off, but we are quite outdoorsy and enjoyed the water ,so as you guess not as much fun if its cold or raining even when wearing a dry bag.

Personally i would try and hang out here until you can get citizenship rather than give it a year, then return if thats what you both want to do. The main thing is you are both on board and agree to everything before you even book flights or it could all turn into a disaster. Most people find the first year or two can be quite tough and challenging (not to mention expensive), its a bit like leaving home for the first time. You will only have each other to lean on and vent too hence you need to be on the same page with everything.

 Good luck ,there is certainly a great life to be had here and we have regrets about moving here what so ever.

   Cal x


If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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15 hours ago, matre123 said:

think if she spent time out there she would realise how much better than the UK it is (at least that's what I think

We spent twenty plus years in Perth, this is my opinion, it's not better than than the UK, just a different environment and lifestyle, that's all.

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 Perth WA  / UK / Queensland

 

 

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39 minutes ago, calNgary said:

I'm not in WA but i am in QLD,,,  a small of handful of days you find its too hot to do anything if it doesnt involve air con, we spend less time inside here than we did in the UK due to being rained off, but we are quite outdoorsy and enjoyed the water ,so as you guess not as much fun if its cold or raining even when wearing a dry bag.

Personally i would try and hang out here until you can get citizenship rather than give it a year, then return if thats what you both want to do. The main thing is you are both on board and agree to everything before you even book flights or it could all turn into a disaster. Most people find the first year or two can be quite tough and challenging (not to mention expensive), its a bit like leaving home for the first time. You will only have each other to lean on and vent too hence you need to be on the same page with everything.

 Good luck ,there is certainly a great life to be had here and we have regrets about moving here what so ever.

   Cal x

Thanks Cal. We are also quite outdoorsy and whilst it's winter here I don't enjoy getting battered by the rain and cold just to take the dog out. That sounds like a good idea with citizenship, have you got yours? If so how long did it take to get? By the time my skills assessment and visa get sorted our child will be ready for school and for him to start in an Australian school for a year then take him out I don't think it would be a good idea. My wife also works in a school and when we came over she visited one and really enjoyed her experience there. She could work in the same one that our child is at which is the plan here so she could keep an eye on him I suppose. Easier said than done. 

I just keep thinking about my son growing up and doing sports here where they are played through winter and outside. Forever getting called off and a crap experience for all involved. We do enjoy the UK for the most part and life is fine here. We just want something different and when we speak to people there's mainly positives. It's good to talk on here for a balanced argument and there's always people who will go back to the UK. I just hope we can get there in the first place! 

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2 minutes ago, matre123 said:

Thanks Cal. We are also quite outdoorsy and whilst it's winter here I don't enjoy getting battered by the rain and cold just to take the dog out. That sounds like a good idea with citizenship, have you got yours? If so how long did it take to get? By the time my skills assessment and visa get sorted our child will be ready for school and for him to start in an Australian school for a year then take him out I don't think it would be a good idea. My wife also works in a school and when we came over she visited one and really enjoyed her experience there. She could work in the same one that our child is at which is the plan here so she could keep an eye on him I suppose. Easier said than done. 

I just keep thinking about my son growing up and doing sports here where they are played through winter and outside. Forever getting called off and a crap experience for all involved. We do enjoy the UK for the most part and life is fine here. We just want something different and when we speak to people there's mainly positives. It's good to talk on here for a balanced argument and there's always people who will go back to the UK. I just hope we can get there in the first place! 

We have been here 14 years now so managed to gain citizenship back in 2008 before the rules changed. I think you have to be here 4 years now before you can apply.

I wouldn't worry too much about kids and schools when they are so young. My youngest was 3 when we moved so only had an Australian education, my eldest started here in Year 4. Both adapted well, so i am sure they would if the countries were reversed. From a parent point of view, i find neither education system better than the other ,they are just very different in their ways of teaching, i even found not having a school canteen weird, but being all my daughter knows she thinks the UK canteens are weird when she talks to her cousin,lol.

Sport here does seem big over here and there is so much choice.My son wasn't sporty, he preferred his moto cross, my daughter started doing gymnastics at 3 and retired at 15 after training competitively for 9 years prior so that took up a lot of mine and her time. It is a great way to meet people.

Cal x

 


If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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Thanks again Cal. I think you're right about meeting people with sports. We've been doing swimming with him since he was very young and get on well with people there. We can use our son to help our social lives! We always had sandwiches growing up and I take my own food to work, canteens are overrated! 

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7 hours ago, matre123 said:

We both want something different and she has said if our mental well being in Australia and lifestyle is better then we will stay.

If you found yourself with several spare hours and were to explore past posts on this topic,  I'm confident that you would emerge from your research with the view that there are as many experiences as there are people.  It's not terribly helpful I know, but there are so many variables involved that everyone really does have a different experience - jobs, income, commute time, location, schools, cost of living......and that's all before you throw in the most complicated part - how we as people all get on with so much change all at once.  For the best chance of success I think it's important to:

  1. do what you are doing - gather as much information as possible so that you are realistic.  Living in Australia isn't like being on holiday in Australia. 
  2. have the right attitude - embrace what's great about Australia and avoid the temptation to focus on what's not as good as back home

Even then many people talk about some intangible "otherness" that stops them settling.  I think it's @Marisawright that describes there being two type of people in the world - those who can live anywhere in the world, and those who have a deep connection to home, often one they didn't realise until they had moved away.

Having a young child presents a great opportunity for meeting people.   When I moved out to Sydney my daughter was 2 years old and her mum just wasn't comfortable putting herself out there, joining kiddie clubs etc.  She went the opposite way and rarely left the apartment.  As you can imagine, that didn't work out well.

Quote

 lifestyle is better then we will stay. I can't see it not being to be honest except the money side.

I'm going to repeat what some others have said.  It isn't better.  It's different.  Whether the positives outweigh the negatives will depend upon what's important to you guys.  For some people the place fits like a glove, for others it doesn't fit at all and for most it's about finding a compromise that works.

 

Quote

She has said she's worried about the summers being too hot 

Some people love the heat.  I don't.  For me, summer in Australia is like winter in the UK - best spent indoors.   But the other three seasons are great.  


British  | Lived in Australia 2001-02 on 457   | Married Aussie wife & moved back to UK | Plan to return to Sydney 2026 when all kids have finished school

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9 hours ago, matre123 said:

just keep thinking about my son growing up and doing sports here where they are played through winter and outside. Forever getting called off and a crap experience for all involved. We do enjoy the UK for the most part and life is fine here.

My sons are adults now but I have great memories of the many years I stood on the edge of a football pitch cheering their team on. I’d wrap up in so many layers I could hardly move. There was often hot drinks served whilst the games were on, I served them on home games for several years.  The kids don’t feel the cold or seem to bother about it.  They’d rush over at half time for a drink and usually a fairy cake (many a Sunday morning I’d be baking trays of little cakes for them) and they just loved the whole sports thing.  I can’t really remember matches getting called off but I’m sure the odd one did. I remember a match where it started to snow hard, they had a crazy snowball fight afterwards.  I can honestly say it was not a crap experience for all involved, it was brilliant.   

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3 hours ago, FirstWorldProblems said:

If you found yourself with several spare hours and were to explore past posts on this topic,  I'm confident that you would emerge from your research with the view that there are as many experiences as there are people.  It's not terribly helpful I know, but there are so many variables involved that everyone really does have a different experience - jobs, income, commute time, location, schools, cost of living......and that's all before you throw in the most complicated part - how we as people all get on with so much change all at once.  For the best chance of success I think it's important to:

  1. do what you are doing - gather as much information as possible so that you are realistic.  Living in Australia isn't like being on holiday in Australia. 
  2. have the right attitude - embrace what's great about Australia and avoid the temptation to focus on what's not as good as back home

Even then many people talk about some intangible "otherness" that stops them settling.  I think it's @Marisawright that describes there being two type of people in the world - those who can live anywhere in the world, and those who have a deep connection to home, often one they didn't realise until they had moved away.

Having a young child presents a great opportunity for meeting people.   When I moved out to Sydney my daughter was 2 years old and her mum just wasn't comfortable putting herself out there, joining kiddie clubs etc.  She went the opposite way and rarely left the apartment.  As you can imagine, that didn't work out well.

I'm going to repeat what some others have said.  It isn't better.  It's different.  Whether the positives outweigh the negatives will depend upon what's important to you guys.  For some people the place fits like a glove, for others it doesn't fit at all and for most it's about finding a compromise that works.

 

Some people love the heat.  I don't.  For me, summer in Australia is like winter in the UK - best spent indoors.   But the other three seasons are great.  

Thank you for the wise words. Having the right attitude is absolutely up there with what I want from our move. Hopefully the wife would be involved in kiddies clubs as she as done them here and due to my shifts I've been to a fair few of them as well. I think I should be able to live anywhere, I was in the army for 10 years so no problem to me but the wife has only ever been on holiday. 

I like how you mention the other 3 seasons being great. So often here we barely get a summer and to have 3 seasons of decent weather I think we can handle being inside more in the summer. 

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1 hour ago, Tulip1 said:

My sons are adults now but I have great memories of the many years I stood on the edge of a football pitch cheering their team on. I’d wrap up in so many layers I could hardly move. There was often hot drinks served whilst the games were on, I served them on home games for several years.  The kids don’t feel the cold or seem to bother about it.  They’d rush over at half time for a drink and usually a fairy cake (many a Sunday morning I’d be baking trays of little cakes for them) and they just loved the whole sports thing.  I can’t really remember matches getting called off but I’m sure the odd one did. I remember a match where it started to snow hard, they had a crazy snowball fight afterwards.  I can honestly say it was not a crap experience for all involved, it was brilliant.   

I remember hot vimto at half time and it being too hot to drink haha I play rugby on weekends here and due to working 4 on 4 off shift pattern I have 4 consecutive Saturdays where I can play and last winter all 4 were called off because the weather was pants! Even if the weather's not great, if we had pitches that were suitable they could still play but they get ruined with the weather so no matter if he wasn't bothered by the cold he won't be playing and some occasions. They may cancel games for being too hot in Australia but we can go to the beach and have a swim if that's the case! 

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7 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

My sons are adults now but I have great memories of the many years I stood on the edge of a football pitch cheering their team on. I’d wrap up in so many layers I could hardly move. There was often hot drinks served whilst the games were on, I served them on home games for several years.  The kids don’t feel the cold or seem to bother about it.  They’d rush over at half time for a drink and usually a fairy cake (many a Sunday morning I’d be baking trays of little cakes for them) and they just loved the whole sports thing.  I can’t really remember matches getting called off but I’m sure the odd one did. I remember a match where it started to snow hard, they had a crazy snowball fight afterwards.  I can honestly say it was not a crap experience for all involved, it was brilliant.   

I played soccer in Sydney when I was a kid. I don't ever remember it being cold. We had oranges at half time.

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Nearly there! Don't drop the ball now guys! Vaccines are weeks away. Stay safe!

 

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19 hours ago, newjez said:

I played soccer in Sydney when I was a kid. I don't ever remember it being cold. We had oranges at half time.

I remember playing soccer at school a few times in England and my fingers being so numb after the game i couldn't undo my laces.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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18 minutes ago, Parley said:

I remember playing soccer at school a few times in England and my fingers being so numb after the game i couldn't undo my laces.

I remember having to do hockey and cross country running in just shorts and a t-shirt. When you finally got inside your legs and fingers really stung as they thawed out. I did a morning paper round too and my hands were freezing  My mum knitted me fingerless gloves but I’m not sure they helped much. 

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