Home and Happy Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 In all these threads I see one common theme.....that we never really "belong" there. Some folk lived there for years and years and still have that feeling. We had that feeling ALL the time there form the moment we arrived almost. The fact is we are foreigners down there and mostly always will be treated as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 If by ‘we’ you are referring to anyone that feels they don’t fit in, then yes I agree. For the rest of us, we fit in just fine, don’t feel foreign and aren’t treated as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelT Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Yes I do have to agree. We have lived in Australia for nearly 13 years.. 6 in Victoria and then 7 here in Qld (which is like a world to its own anyway). We are tired of being here for many reasons... No sense of belonging, racism (from Australians, more so Qld) to us.. the unrelenting heat.. skin cancer... Isolation (social), lack of professionalism in the work place.. Lack of support in schools...Cost of living.. culture... To name but a few.We will be retuning to the Uk by Sept 18 - have a planning trip booked for Jan 18 visiting schools etc.. It. has been a tough decision as my parents want to stay in Qld (love the heat) and have health issues. But, I just can't just merely exist anymore. I have discussed it with my parents until I am blue in the face, and just cannot do it anymore. We are so unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I've never felt like I didn't fit in. I think for migrants who don't speak much English it must be harder to feel like they fit in. Also people who haven't lived in other countries or done a lot of travelling before coming to live in Australia may find it a bit harder to 'fit in'. If all they've ever known is their home town surrounded by family and friends they've known practically all their lives then it will be harder to up sticks, move 10,000 to a strange country they've never been to before. Of course like Home and Happy some people miss the UK too much so move back. Better to do so where they fit in than stay here and be miserable. There are many stories of people who move back even after living here for years and years because they never felt they fitted in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Each to their own in terms of how they feel about it all. I don't look at it like you at all, nor have the same experience at all and so cannot agree with you. Those who do feel the same as you, in terms of this feeling of belonging, probably will. And those who move back after experiencing those feelings probably feel similar to yourself too. Glad to be back at home. Good for them if its what they wanted and its made them happy. As for being a foreigner and treated as such, again, I can't say I've ever found that. I certainly don't feel like I am on the outside looking in or am treated differently. Migrating anywhere in the world is a big ask and its not always good move for those who make a move, wherever it is they may go. Migrating doesn't equal instant happiness or always give a person what it is they think they are looking for. It sometimes just gives them more questions and no answers. Sometimes it shows them what they had was actually was just fine but they had to go find out for themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelT Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 It also depends where you live in Australia. I found Victoria a good place to settle and be accepted. However, have experienced totally the opposite since living in Qld. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 6 minutes ago, MelT said: It also depends where you live in Australia. I found Victoria a good place to settle and be accepted. However, have experienced totally the opposite since living in Qld. We've lived in Perth and Sydney. Found most people friendly and accepting. Of course you'll find racist here just as you would in any other country. Now we live in Tasmania and seem to have fitted in here no bother at all. We feel very comfortable here and now don't want to live anywhere else. My sister has just arrived on a visit from Edinburgh and even she said that it was really good to see me so happy living here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 ........belong....such a funny word imo ........I’ve never....belonged....anywhere ........but I’ve enjoyed living everywhere ........found friends ........things to enjoy ........each place so vastly different to the next ........to me it’s about taking yourself/family unit .... ........and embracing everything the place has to offer ........friends take time ....so get out there and meet people .......volunteer....join a club .......odds are you’ll meet someone you click with ........Australia is a land full of foreigners ........that eventually.....just become aussies ime .........if you like a Sunday lunch down the pub in front of a roaring fire ........be prepared to love a Sunday barbque .......at the beach under a blue sky ........to belong anywhere takes time and commitment if you really feel the need.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelT Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 ........belong....such a funny word imo ........I’ve never....belonged....anywhere ........but I’ve enjoyed living everywhere ........found friends ........things to enjoy ........each place so vastly different to the next ........to me it’s about taking yourself/family unit .... ........and embracing everything the place has to offer ........friends take time ....so get out there and meet people .......volunteer....join a club .......odds are you’ll meet someone you click with ........Australia is a land full of foreigners ........that eventually.....just become aussies ime .........if you like a Sunday lunch down the pub in front of a roaring fire ........be prepared to love a Sunday barbque .......at the beach under a blue sky ........to belong anywhere takes time and commitment if you really feel the need..Yes done all of that.. Like I said Vic and Qld from my experience are like 2 different worlds.. Can't say we have not put the effort in including volunteering etc......7 years in Qld is quite a long time to give things a go.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 2 minutes ago, MelT said: Yes done all of that.. Like I said Vic and Qld from my experience are like 2 different worlds.. Can't say we have not put the effort in including volunteering etc......7 years in Qld is quite a long time to give things a go.. .........I must admit qld is different..! .........but does it really matter if you don’t fit the qld norm..! ........that your different..? ........I’ve never found that has limited my enjoyment of here ......I have a very diverse group of friends ........perhaps that’s what attracted us lol .......it’s a very different way of life here ........there isn’t as much close knit groups ime ........people float in and out ........but I haven’t struggled for company .......even if it’s short lived ........it comes down to expectations .......,and qld isn’t or ever will be Europe ..... ..........sorry to hear you’ve not had a good experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandgroper Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Some people are just home birds and do not settle when out of there comfort zone the location is pretty much irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickyNook Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Home and Happy said: In all these threads I see one common theme.....that we never really "belong" there. Nonsense. Never in the 38 years that I've lived here in Sydney, have I felt that I didn't belong. In fact, it's the complete opposite - the place fitted me like a glove from the day I arrived. There may well be people who are unhappy here who feel they don't belong but it most certainly doesn't apply to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I am very similar to Tink. Have lived in QLD for almost 15 years, have a diverse group of friends and was welcomed from day 1. To mention 2 groups. Just this week I have been with friends in my mahjong group, for our Christmas get together, most are all Queenslanders some 3rd/4th generation. Most of them have known each other all their lives, from out west Qld, ex farmers, I love that we have had totally different backgrounds, and life experiences and that we just enjoy each other's company. Next get together was with another group of friends who mostly have moved here from other countries, so two totally different groups, but the same friendship. I have moved around most of my life, have had to adapt to living in far more difficult countries than Oz, and know that that you have to adapt and accept the differences. Wherever I hang my hat that's my home, but I really don't want to move again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Home and Happy said: In all these threads I see one common theme.....that we never really "belong" there. Some folk lived there for years and years and still have that feeling. We had that feeling ALL the time there form the moment we arrived almost. The fact is we are foreigners down there and mostly always will be treated as such. Yes there is a lot of truth in what you say. Growing up in Australia i just felt Australian as it was all i knew but once i had travelled to the UK I starting feeling less and less as though I fitted there, almost a square peg in a round hole. Why wife has never felt totally comfortable in Oz and has had a few really upsetting experiences from racists which didn't help. I dislike the parochial insular nature of the country, the constant need to pat itself on the back, the need to belittle other countries, the nationalism. Having said that I love parts of the country and the wildlife especially but once into my 20s it always felt temporary. That's not to say it's like that for everyone of course, many fit straight in and it seems to be those who totally put 'home' out of their minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 22 minutes ago, NickyNook said: Nonsense. Never in the 38 years that I've lived here in Sydney, have I felt that I didn't belong. In fact, it's the complete opposite - the place fitted me like a glove from the day I arrived. There may well be people who are unhappy here who feel they don't belong but it most certainly doesn't apply to everyone. It isn't nonsense for them, its how they feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieGirl Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 39 minutes ago, Sandgroper said: Some people are just home birds and do not settle when out of there comfort zone the location is pretty much irrelevant. Verry true, makes you wonder why these people make the move in the first place. Then they complain that things are different, what on earth where they expecting? I understand some people find migrating is not for them, thats OK move back but don't bloody moan about it, you were lucky you had the opportunity. Most don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelT Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Verry true, makes you wonder why these people make the move in the first place. Then they complain that things are different, what on earth where they expecting? I understand some people find migrating is not for them but don't bloody moan about it, you were lucky you had the opportunity. Most don't.Sharing experiences is not necessarily 'moaning'. Like I said, we felt accepted in Victoria, and enjoyed our very busy and social life at the time. Moving to any country is not for the faint hearted that is for sure. I wouldn't say we were lucky moving to Australia, we worked extremely hard to jump the many hoops to get here. Like most people who move here. At the end of the day it is all about choice. Just because you have chosen to move somewhere does not mean you have to stay there forever. It does not make that time a failure, but a life experience in which you learn to appreciate and value different places, people and experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 6 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said: Verry true, makes you wonder why these people make the move in the first place. Then they complain that things are different, what on earth where they expecting? I understand some people find migrating is not for them, thats OK move back but don't bloody moan about it, you were lucky you had the opportunity. Most don't. Of course yes some complain that things are different and of course that is ridiculous, what did they expect. In my experience the majority aren't complaining about the differences, many seem to be surprised that much of what they were hoping to 'escape' are actually the same, working long hours, the commute, crime, drugs blah blah blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieGirl Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I have just moved back to my home town time for family reasons after 30 years away, 10 in London and 20 in Sydney. In many ways I am now the outsider, I have moved on. Last night at a party I got to talk to lot's of new people, most them said I now have an Aussie twang! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 3 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said: I have just moved back to my home town time for family reasons after 30 years away, 10 in London and 20 in Sydney. In many ways I am now the outsider, I have moved on. Last night at a party I got to talk to lot's of new people, most them said I now have an Aussie twang! When we moved 'back' here our long term close friends were like we had never been away. I am apparently losing my twang lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieGirl Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 7 minutes ago, MelT said: Sharing experiences is not necessarily 'moaning'. Like I said, we felt accepted in Victoria, and enjoyed our very busy and social life at the time. Moving to any country is not for the faint hearted that is for sure. I wouldn't say we were lucky moving to Australia, we worked extremely hard to jump the many hoops to get here. Like most people who move here. At the end of the day it is all about choice. Just because you have chosen to move somewhere does not mean you have to stay there forever. It does not make that time a failure, but a life experience in which you learn to appreciate and value different places, people and experiences. I have never understood the permanence thing, nothing in life is permanent. I have read a few posts from people on here going the other way trying to get visas and it has made me appreciate how hard it now is. I am truly grateful for the opportunity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 11 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said: I have just moved back to my home town time for family reasons after 30 years away, 10 in London and 20 in Sydney. In many ways I am now the outsider, I have moved on. Last night at a party I got to talk to lot's of new people, most them said I now have an Aussie twang! After 36 year in Australia I have not lost my Scottish accent. As soon as I meet people they say 'which part of Scotland are your from' or some think I'm Irish. Some accents are hard to lose and the Scottish one especially I think. I've lived in London (only for a year), the Lake District for 3 years, Belgium, France and Switzerland and the USA. Still kept my Scottish accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieGirl Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I never had an accent for which I am very thankful as the Brummie twang is not my favorite. I had a Geordie friend and a Scouse colleague both of whom kept their strong accents, the stronger it is the harder it is to lose. I love a Scottish lilt. Always surprised me that there is not much variation in the Aussie accents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 2 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said: I never had an accent for which I am truly grateful as the Brummie twang is not my favorite. I had a Geordie friend and a Scouse colleague both of whom kept their strong accents, the stronger it is the harder it is to lose. I love a Scottish lilt. Always surprised me that there is not much variation in the Aussie accents. No there isn't. Give it a couple of hundred years or so and maybe each state/region will acquire it's own accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 23 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said: I never had an accent for which I am very thankful as the Brummie twang is not my favorite. I had a Geordie friend and a Scouse colleague both of whom kept their strong accents, the stronger it is the harder it is to lose. I love a Scottish lilt. Always surprised me that there is not much variation in the Aussie accents. No, at best you can possibly tell if someone is from the country or the city but no clear variation. If someone with a Liverpool accent comes on the TV I have to turn the volume down ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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