Is it reckless to go?

[bristolman]

Bristolman I think it would be helpful for the poster to let them know the work you do and where you live so that they can make a judgement about how representative your situation is of the UK because I feel that you might be a little over enthusiastic about the benefits of the UK, people need realism at this time of trying to make momentus decisions.

 

I really don't care if you think I am over enthusiastic, it surely must be preferable to your ridiculous doom and gloom and negativity.

[bristolman]

Hi everyone,

 

My husband and I have been in Melbourne for 9 years, both work full time and rent close to the City. Sadly & strangely even after all this time we still don't feel 'at home' and struggle to find much we relish here. This is not through lack of trying. We go out a fair bit as we are childless, visit any exhibitions that come to town and take trips out into the countryside/down the beach but something is lacking. I can only describe it as an underlying emptiness or a slightly panicky feeling of somehow wasting my life being in the wrong place and not fitting in.

 

To be honest I would have gone back after a year but we had dogs (only one elderly boy of 16 left now) and we didn't want to put them through another long haul flight as they seemed to find the trip over and quarantine etc quite traumatic. Also, we thought we should give it a good go after making such a big and expensive move.

 

It's been a decade of ups and downs with job & financial issues and a couple of serious health scares in the mix (something that brought home life is short & should we really be living it in a place we don't like). Plus we've only been able to make it back to visit family and old friends twice which hasn't helped.

 

Anyway we are looking at heading home to UK in about 18 months and I am totally overjoyed at the thought. However, at the same time being a natural born worrier I am anxious about leaving well paid, secure jobs here. Looking online it seems I will probably earn at least a third less than I do now. We are not Spring chickens either being in our forties (althougb we are quite well preserved/pickled :laugh:) so am a bit concerned this might work against us. If i was a decade younger I wouldn't think twice.

 

I guess I'm looking for some validation. Are we doing the right thing taking the plunge and heading back to where we feel we belong but where we have no financial guarantees, after all nothing ventured nothing gained. Or at our age should we be 'sensible' and stay slightly unhappy but financially secure for the unforseeable future??

 

Thanks for any input!

 

Firstly can I just say if you are bound for Bath you could hardly pick a more beautiful part of the country, my wife is from that area and we did toy with the idea of heading that way ourselves but in the end we headed further north but still withing easy access of that region. We found we go up so much more for our money in Herefordshire, a bigger house and far less traffic which is a killer in Bath.

We were you age when we made the move back with 2 teenagers in tow and it's worked out wonderfully well for all of us.

I wouldn't worry too much about the difference in wage, we have certainly found that our money stretches further here, swings and roundabouts but overall we are better off financially.

If it's going to make you happier then do it, I have a feeling you won't regret it.

[bunbury61]

Hi everyone,

 

My husband and I have been in Melbourne for 9 years, both work full time and rent close to the City. Sadly & strangely even after all this time we still don't feel 'at home' and struggle to find much we relish here. This is not through lack of trying. We go out a fair bit as we are childless, visit any exhibitions that come to town and take trips out into the countryside/down the beach but something is lacking. I can only describe it as an underlying emptiness or a slightly panicky feeling of somehow wasting my life being in the wrong place and not fitting in.

 

To be honest I would have gone back after a year but we had dogs (only one elderly boy of 16 left now) and we didn't want to put them through another long haul flight as they seemed to find the trip over and quarantine etc quite traumatic. Also, we thought we should give it a good go after making such a big and expensive move.

 

It's been a decade of ups and downs with job & financial issues and a couple of serious health scares in the mix (something that brought home life is short & should we really be living it in a place we don't like). Plus we've only been able to make it back to visit family and old friends twice which hasn't helped.

 

Anyway we are looking at heading home to UK in about 18 months and I am totally overjoyed at the thought. However, at the same time being a natural born worrier I am anxious about leaving well paid, secure jobs here. Looking online it seems I will probably earn at least a third less than I do now. We are not Spring chickens either being in our forties (althougb we are quite well preserved/pickled :laugh:) so am a bit concerned this might work against us. If i was a decade younger I wouldn't think twice.

 

I guess I'm looking for some validation. Are we doing the right thing taking the plunge and heading back to where we feel we belong but where we have no financial guarantees, after all nothing ventured nothing gained. Or at our age should we be 'sensible' and stay slightly unhappy but financially secure for the unforseeable future??

 

Thanks for any input!

 

Bathbound ...massive respect to you in relation to the dogs ..

I couldn't leave my best mate either ...no way..

For me coming home and staying was and is ...bloody hard !

 

Be prepared to have some tough times .

 

If you are very lucky you will land on your feet ...job ,nice area ,happy days

You may land on your arse ,or somewhere inbetween .

 

For me ,having a clear conscience,and Europe close by ,just about swing it for me

[newjez]

 

I really don't care if you think I am over enthusiastic, it surely must be preferable to your ridiculous doom and gloom and negativity.

Bit of balance would be nice.

[newjez]

 

Bristolman I think it would be helpful for the poster to let them know the work you do and where you live so that they can make a judgement about how representative your situation is of the UK because I feel that you might be a little over enthusiastic about the benefits of the UK, people need realism at this time of trying to make momentus decisions.

ditto

[Booma]

Been home a number years ourselves after doing around a similar amount years in Perth.

 

Its not reckless, this is your life and you should not have to endure anything which makes you unhappy. Grinning and bearing it is really not a very clever thing to do, bit of a mugs game that, really. If you don't like it, and assuming that you can afford to move back home, I say go for it.

 

Britain is not without its share of problems but it is still a far better place than Australia for us at least.

 

Some of the pommies we knew were packing up and leaving also (for various reasons) but they were all basically saying the same old stuff- lonely and missing family & friends, lack of jobs/opportunities, expensive/no money to spend, bored teenage kids, isolated location of Perth etc.

 

I suppose nothing can ever prepare you for migration.

 

If its not working, its never going to work.

 

 

welcome to the forum home & happy. as you moved back to uk a number of years ago what prompted you to join a migration forum at this point? i know i joined when i realised i had made a huge mistake moving back to uk & wanted to come back to oz but your user name seems to indicate you are happy there.

[Fisher1]

Bristolman I think it would be helpful for the poster to let them know the work you do and where you live so that they can make a judgement about how representative your situation is of the UK because I feel that you might be a little over enthusiastic about the benefits of the UK, people need realism at this time of trying to make momentus decisions.

 

 

In in all fairness I don't really see that Bristolmans comment is that over enthuisiastic. Much as I hate to agree with this poster they are is just offering a thumbnail description of their own experience and I'm sure that then OP is not going to take one persons comment as valid for the whole country.

 

I think the important thing for the OP and others to bear in mind is that it's no use living in a big house if you aren't happy.

[wattsy1982]

We are slightly different (age wise)but similar in feelings and concerns.

 

Been here (Gold Coast) almost 4 years and I don't feel anymore settled than the day i stepped off the plane back in 2013!

 

I have always been unsettled and would have gone back at the drop of a hat but my wife has been fairly happy here so I've stayed put.

 

The more time that passes the more she is looking at the long term and considering going back 'home'

 

My plan is to apply for/get citizenship, sell our house in about october, then see out 2017 in Aus for the sake of the kids schooling, leave our jobs when the kids finish for xmas, go to New Zealand for 4-6 weeks over xmas and new year then head home early 2018!

 

In the meantime we are saving $500 a week towards the holiday to NZ and just to have a bit behind us to live on whilst not working over xmas etc, take the proceeds of house sale back to set us up in the uk, and then sell cars here to pay for shipping and flights.

 

Its all do-able in my head!

 

Good luck to all moving back!

[ramot]

If you (that's a general not personal) decide early on that Australia is not for you, and many then seem to stay only for citizenship, do you really bother to try and like it? because it seems a waste of time and your life to stay somewhere you are unhappy.

Obviously cost of relocating comes into it.

Or do you go out and about, see different parts of Australia and make the most of experiencing living in a different country, while you are here.

 

I went to live and work in Zambia in the mid 1960's, as a single female, it was amazingly frustrating at times, plus so backward from living in London, but I had some fantastic times, which far outweighed the bad.

Then more recently lived in a Muslim country for 10 years, through husbands work, that was very tough at times, before then moving to Oz. I appreciate I didn't emigrate to either 'for forever' but nothing has to be forever.

 

There is nothing wrong with not liking or settling in a country, but try to get some positives about broadening your horizons by having lived some where else, before heading home.

Edited November 1, 2016 by ramot

[Guest BigJon]

If you (that's a general not personal) decide early on that Australia is not for you, and many then seem to stay only for citizenship, do you really bother to try and like it? because it seems a waste of time and your life to stay somewhere you are unhappy.

Obviously cost of relocating comes into it.

Or do you go out and about, see different parts of Australia and make the most of experiencing living in a different country, while you are here.

 

I went to live and work in Zambia in the mid 1960's, as a single female, it was amazingly frustrating at times, plus so backward from living in London, but I had some fantastic times, which far outweighed the bad.

Then more recently lived in a Muslim country for 10 years, through husbands work, that was very tough at times, before then moving to Oz. I appreciate I didn't emigrate to either 'for forever' but nothing has to be forever.

 

There is nothing wrong with not liking or settling in a country, but try to get some positives about broadening your horizons by having lived some where else, before heading home.

 

I agree to an extent - that is a good attitude when you do not have to consider children or dependents, finances etc etc. For most people, moving from say the East coast to the West coast would be an enormous and disruptive undertaking.

[JockinTas]

I agree to an extent - that is a good attitude when you do not have to consider children or dependents, finances etc etc. For most people, moving from say the East coast to the West coast would be an enormous and disruptive undertaking.

 

 

We did east coast to west coast without children then west coast to east coast with children. We treated it as an adventure and enjoyed it. Kids loved the long trip. We sold the house - bought a caravan and took to the road. Husband got casual work along the way. It wouldn't appeal to lots of folk but we had a great time.

[markb28]

I moved here with my partner at 41, 3 years in Sydney before moving to Melbourne last December.

 

Things are going well, but there is and will always be a yearning for home. When the time is right, we will go back home and will keep the option to come back to Australia also.

 

Seems all the concerns are financial, however you should just go if the yearning is too great, life's too short and do it while you have the desire and are healthy. If you summoned up the energy to come here and start anew, returning home is likely to be much easier.

[newjez]

Went for a walk by the seaside in my lunch break and it was glorious today. So sunny and warm. T shirt and shorts weather. Forecast for the next ten days is good. Did Halloween and guy Fawkes without hat or gloves and light jacket. Is it getting warmer or something? Glorious weather this time of year. Don't let the weather deter you. The fish were jumping too. Don't know what that means.

[BacktoDemocracy]

I really don't care if you think I am over enthusiastic, it surely must be preferable to your ridiculous doom and gloom and negativity.

 

The parallel I would draw is to the first world war poet Siegfried Sassoon, sent to a shell shock hospital by the his commanders to shut him up because there were questions being raised about the conduct of the war due to his and Owen's poetry.

Who remembers the Generals now, but Sassoon's and Owen's poetry is still on the bookshelves today and considered to be amongst the best descriptions of the darkness of the first world war.

[Home and Happy]

I moved here with my partner at 41, 3 years in Sydney before moving to Melbourne last December.

 

Things are going well, but there is and will always be a yearning for home. When the time is right, we will go back home and will keep the option to come back to Australia also.

 

Seems all the concerns are financial, however you should just go if the yearning is too great, life's too short and do it while you have the desire and are healthy. If you summoned up the energy to come here and start anew, returning home is likely to be much easier.

 

 

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

[BacktoDemocracy]

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

Can you say where you've seen reference to this, I've not seen this mentioned anywhere myself.

[BacktoDemocracy]

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

I have hunted across the net and can find no reference to this, it would take a specific act of parliament to rescind an act of 1949 and would affect a whole swathe of people who I think the govt want to hang onto from doctors to scientists and academics, sounds like another wind up out of UKIPs bag of xenophobia smears.

[Home and Happy]

I have hunted across the net and can find no reference to this, it would take a specific act of parliament to rescind an act of 1949 and would affect a whole swathe of people who I think the govt want to hang onto from doctors to scientists and academics, sounds like another wind up out of UKIPs bag of xenophobia smears.

 

Nothing is decided yet or will be for a while. Article 50 is to be triggered early 2017 (not far away now) and we will be going out.

 

At the moment they are just trying to screw what they can out of the EU.

 

The way it is, the EU is on last last legs anyway as more countries seem to be leaning towards getting out of it

 

Politics and Brexit aside and back to topic, I can say only based on my own experience that if you are getting thoughts about coming home, just do it and don't put it off.

Edited November 1, 2016 by Home and Happy

[Guest]

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

 

I'm in the UK and have dual nationality and I'm not sure where you get the 'sensitive topic back home' idea from, I haven't seen any reference to dual nationality being stopped.

 

Yes there is sensitivity around British citizens living overseas and claiming UK benefits - such as the retired Spanish ex-pats getting a winter fuel allowance and about UK residents who are not British citizens claiming benefits under EU rules but I've seen nothing about dual nationality. Not really sure how this would have anything to do with Brexit anyway as most EU nationals living in the UK aren't citizens and if they were to become citizens they may choose to give up there 'other' citizenship anyway if they had to.

 

There are of course some countries who themselves will not allow you to have dual nationality and Germany is an interesting case as dual nationality with an EU country is permissible but not a non-EU country therefore when the UK leaves the EU anyone with a British and German citizenship will have to give one up (at least as the law currently stands in Germany). There may be other EU countries with this type of ruling I don't know so there may well be a number of countries a British Citizen cannot hold dual citizenship with after Brexit - Australia allows dual citizenship with any country though.

 

To the OP - we moved back to the UK in our late 40's without jobs to go to and when the 'boom' was just about still happening in Perth, I suppose it could have been considered reckless, that thought never even occurred to me. I got work within a month of moving back and for us it was absolutely the right decision.

 

I think a lot depends on the reasons for moving back - moving back for others seems least likely to work, moving back for cultural fit reasons seems most likely to work - of course there are exceptions and luck has a part to play. We had a lot of bad luck in Australia and a lot of good luck on our return - it feels like the universe conspired to get us back to where we were meant to be but since i don't believe in that sort of nonsense I put it down to chance

[Fisher1]

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

 

 

The only references I've seen in the UK press about citizenship are the reports from many European countries about British citizens applying for an alternative nationality since the referendum. Many people are applying for nationality of the country they currently live in, in some cases have lived in for many years. Among these are the British citizens who were denied a vote in the referendum because of their non- resident status and despite being UK taxpayers. So I doubt they feel much allegiance to the UK just at the moment. People want to protect their European identities in any way they can, resulting in the Irish government appealing at one point for people to stop asking for information for a while because they were overwhelmed.

 

I have heard nothing about any proposed ban on British citizens iholding dual nationality, and would guess that would be a proposal the UK government would be very wary of approaching just now.

 

I lived outside the UK for many years before retiring back here and I can assure you that it's very difficult to move abroad and stop contributing to the UK any more unless you really have severed all ties and no longer have income arising here. As for a lot of foreigners milking the system ... Well there are always people who will get round any system and turn things to their advantage but the reference to "people getting wise to privileges they see others having" ? Sorry but this sounds like something straight out of tabloid journalism.

 

Do you have a link to this proposal to ban dual nationality? I'll need to know where to hand in my UK passport when the time comes.

[pixieontherocks]

No amount of financial security or sun makes up for missing family and friends in the UK, IMHO.

 

If you have that nagging feeling that life is 'nice' and you are financially ok but there's still a big, black gaping hole that you can't explain away then it's your heart, your emotions and the lack of deep connections you have in Oz that's causing it. Waiting won't help. Go back.

 

I've done 11 years here and I'm done (not helped by a horrible divorce situation in 2014 and two kids involved). My ex has agreed that we will all go back to the UK to live in June next year. I love Sydney in many respects, I really do, but it's just not enough.

[bristolman]

Being able to hold dual citizenship looks like it may not be an option following Brexit, this is one of the things that may be changing along with the new tight border controls they keep saying that they are bringing in.

 

Very sensitive topic back home right now the whole dual citizenship thing, and its one of the things up in the air. Might be different if you are only a resident of a foreign place and not an actual citizen as youre not holding two different passports.

 

Its those who don't contribute to UK anymore. Not sure how that would work with Australia etc but there are a lot of foreigners milking the system and people have become wise to the whole dual nationality thing as well as getting wise to a lot of other privileges that they see others having. Brexit is just the tip of the iceberg. Not saying I agree or disagree.

 

But, I can see their point, and if forced to choose which country they want to belong to, I bet quite a few here would hand in their passports of foreign countries if we hold them. I would have no hesitation in doing so myself as were all here to stay, my loyalties are to UK only.

 

I haven't seen or heard anything about removing the right to dual citizenship and I highly doubt anything will change soon or ever. I can see no benefit in it.

[wattsy1982]

No amount of financial security or sun makes up for missing family and friends in the UK, IMHO.

 

If you have that nagging feeling that life is 'nice' and you are financially ok but there's still a big, black gaping hole that you can't explain away then it's your heart, your emotions and the lack of deep connections you have in Oz that's causing it. Waiting won't help. Go back.

 

Word Bl**dy perfect!!!

 

Summed up exactly how im feeing/thinking @pixieontherocks

 

When I think about trying to buy a house (that we like) back in the uk etc I think of the house and pool etc we have built here and I worry ill make a mistake...then I just imagine xmas after xmas, kids b'days after b'days here, in our house, without family and friends and it all just seems irrelevant.

 

My heart says go home...my head is telling me to wait 8 months for citizenship...and I plan to listen to both!

Edited November 2, 2016 by wattsy1982

[bencrom81]

No amount of financial security or sun makes up for missing family and friends in the UK, IMHO.

 

If you have that nagging feeling that life is 'nice' and you are financially ok but there's still a big, black gaping hole that you can't explain away then it's your heart, your emotions and the lack of deep connections you have in Oz that's causing it. Waiting won't help. Go back.

 

I've done 11 years here and I'm done (not helped by a horrible divorce situation in 2014 and two kids involved). My ex has agreed that we will all go back to the UK to live in June next year. I love Sydney in many respects, I really do, but it's just not enough.

 

pretty much sums up the reasons why people head back. ive been back for a few months now and get asked by friends, friends of friends, barbers, colleagues, strangers, why I would leave utopia to come back to the cold?

and to them its hard to comprehend why you would swap sunshine and insatgram photos of the opera house for home - they cant because they've never had to comprehend homesickness, missing weddings, funerals, birthdays, going through tough times by yourself on the other side of the world.

the queasy tension I felt for so long whilst in Sydney, which I tried to pretend wasn't there, has gone since ive been back.

[Home and Happy]

Word Bl**dy perfect!!!

 

Summed up exactly how im feeing/thinking @pixieontherocks

 

When I think about trying to buy a house (that we like) back in the uk etc I think of the house and pool etc we have built here and I worry ill make a mistake...then I just imagine xmas after xmas, kids b'days after b'days here, in our house, without family and friends and it all just seems irrelevant.

 

My heart says go home...my head is telling me to wait 8 months for citizenship...and I plan to listen to both!

 

 

Family love and friends are everything. .

 

A small house filled with happiness and love from family is far much nicer than a big fancy house without them.

 

If you are sure you wont be going back, why bother to wait for citizenship.