MelbourneTractor Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I love it here but I just can't do it anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It's a common story unfortunately, maybe post it in MBTTUK section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I love it here but I just can't do it anymore Are you able too? If so do it, life is far too short to be unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelbourneTractor Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shak Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Its really difficult isnt it?!im in the same boat,and have plenty of days when i feel i just cannot do this anymore,its awful.you just got to hang in there.hopefully you get to go back soon.until then just try your best to enjoy australia.see as a really long holiday,lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shak Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. You never know she might want the same... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. I have seen this before, not saying this is exactly your story but a person or couple want it so much and maybe the reality does not match the expectations. Just be straight with her, tell her how you feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelensvaleHoward Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. Talk to her soon as the longer you leave it the worse it will get for you She might be fine she might not But you won't know until you do so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelbourneTractor Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thanks all, she seems quite happy and only has one minor frustration. I find it strange how different my feelings are for each country are now compared to how we felt before we moved. I've only now realised just how good we had it back home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. There is nothing I'd be scared to talk to my OH about. Communication is the only way forward or you will make yourself ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thanks all, she seems quite happy and only has one minor frustration. I find it strange how different my feelings are for each country are now compared to how we felt before we moved. I've only now realised just how good we had it back home. Believe me that is such a common story, so many people don't appreciate the UK until they leave. There is an almost dream like idea of your new life and how everything will be better, in fact you are moving to another normal country with all the normal issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelbourneTractor Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Very fair description. I still want to see more of Australia and NZ before moving back but damn I'd give anything for cuppa at my nans or a pint in my old local right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Very fair description. I still want to see more of Australia and NZ before moving back but damn I'd give anything for cuppa at my nans or a pint in my old local right now. It's perfectly normal, if someone is planning to move to the other side of the world for a new life the picture they will have in their head is of going to the beach every day, coming home to a BBQ and having more money than they can spend in the bank. The reality for most is a life that is similar to the one they left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 You need to talk to your partner. If you hold it in then you'll end up ill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 You need to talk to your partner. If you hold it in then you'll end up ill Yes I absolutely agree, sooner rather than later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It's perfectly normal, if someone is planning to move to the other side of the world for a new life the picture they will have in their head is of going to the beach every day, coming home to a BBQ and having more money than they can spend in the bank. The reality for most is a life that is similar to the one they left behind. similar but without your local or your nan's to pop in for a cuppa. You must talk to your partner, I was never really homesick and had a fantastic career in Perth (big fish small pond) and our son was going to an amazing school the like of which doesn't exist in the UK but life was an uphill struggle for financial and health reasons and it was after a trip back that I floated with my OH that we returned and it turned out he had wanted to for the best part of 3 years but had never said because he thought he'd made his bed and has to lie in it because Australia had worked out so well for me and our son. He couldn't believe I didn't know and yes it knew he was unhappy, he had been diagnosed as depressed but I didn't relate this to living in Australia just all the **** we went through which could have happened anywhere. From me making a fairly off the cuff comment at Schipol airport to moving back was about 12 months and the best thing we could have done, i had no idea my husband wanted to move back, he had no idea I wanted my friends and family around me during some pretty dark days - I'm strong, a coper, I make the most of any circumstance and I wasn't going to make him feel guilty about is moving there in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 similar but without your local or your nan's to pop in for a cuppa. You must talk to your partner, I was never really homesick and had a fantastic career in Perth (big fish small pond) and our son was going to an amazing school the like of which doesn't exist in the UK but life was an uphill struggle for financial and health reasons and it was after a trip back that I floated with my OH that we returned and it turned out he had wanted to for the best part of 3 years but had never said because he thought he'd made his bed and has to lie in it because Australia had worked out so well for me and our son. He couldn't believe I didn't know and yes it knew he was unhappy, he had been diagnosed as depressed but I didn't relate this to living in Australia just all the **** we went through which could have happened anywhere. From me making a fairly off the cuff comment at Schipol airport to moving back was about 12 months and the best thing we could have done, i had no idea my husband wanted to move back, he had no idea I wanted my friends and family around me during some pretty dark days - I'm strong, a coper, I make the most of any circumstance and I wasn't going to make him feel guilty about is moving there in the first place. I wonder how many people are in that exact same situation, one half of the relationship unaware of the feelings of the other ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It's perfectly normal, if someone is planning to move to the other side of the world for a new life the picture they will have in their head is of going to the beach every day, coming home to a BBQ and having more money than they can spend in the bank. The reality for most is a life that is similar to the one they left behind. Really, is that so? I could say that people who are thinking of returning have a picture in their mind that they will spend every day skipping through green pastures on their way to a bargain pub lunch - but that would be ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Really, is that so? I could say that people who are thinking of returning have a picture in their mind that they will spend every day skipping through green pastures on their way to a bargain pub lunch - but that would be ridiculous. Think both are what lead to ping pong poms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Really, is that so? I could say that people who are thinking of returning have a picture in their mind that they will spend every day skipping through green pastures on their way to a bargain pub lunch - but that would be ridiculous. Absolutely, I can't skip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsPOB Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Depends on my partner. We both wanted the move so much that I'm actually scared to tell her. I was kinda in the same boat... I got my husband excited about a move Down Under... Wouldn't it be great... sunshine everyday, BBQ's every night, beautiful wide open spaces and a lovely open plan home. Cost of living is cheap and we wouldn't have to put up with the everyday grind... But really, in the end we were worst off and as the months ticked by I became more and more miserable until I couldn't hide it any longer. It was a last minute trip home that did me in... I was near tears just thinking about how I had to get back on a plane to Sydney. When I got back I told the hubby I just couldn't do it any more. I didn't want to stay in Australia one more year. He was understanding and asked questions... And in the end he said what mattered the most... "your happiness is important - we are either both happy or not." It was hard to bring up and I thought about how I would approach the subject the entire trip back... It was me, after all, that talked him into the move. But as many people have mentioned, you need to communicate - especially when you are supposed to be taking on the world together. Take a deep breath and, if necessary, a shot of liquid courage and start talking.... you will full loads better for coming clean and including your partner in your thoughts and worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Think both are what lead to ping pong poms. You are probably right with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I love it here but I just can't do it anymore Have you been back on holiday to recharge the batteries? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Sometimes there is just no rhyme nor reason for why one feels the way one does. If you don't fit you don't fit but, word of warning, don't think of it as going back - what you had is gone but the core structures may be there. Think of it as moving forward to a new adventure, hopefully in a place that fits you. Glad you've talked to your OH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussiegirl Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Hope all works out well for you in the end, iam the other way really, iam an Aussie living in UK with partner n kids, I lived in Perth for 12 yrs came home after due to family member sick ,was going to go back but met my future partner and have being persuading him to make the move finally we are doing and iam going home from being miserable here, don't get me wrong I love the place and will miss my family and friends loads, but my heart is there. Like someone said life is too short, take and enjoy it while we can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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