EMA02 Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Hi all - I'm new to forum discussions but I'm looking for advice on how best to cope with and be supportive of my fiance who will be leaving the UK in 2 weeks time. He has been offered an amazing opportunity and whilst I am behind him 100%, I am under no illusions that this is going to be tough. He leaves for Perth in 2 weeks time to start an 8 on 6 off swing (days). I've read a lot of the threads on here about how it affects mental health and I'm concerned not only for him but for myself. We are getting married in February 2015 hence I'm staying in the UK to plan our wedding, after that who knows. I'll also be responsible for caring for his 12 year old daughter whilst he is away. Obviously, 8 on 6 off does not allow sufficient time for him to travel back to the UK so we are having to face the daunting task of trying to continue our relationship with 9000 miles between us. I realise it's not for the faint hearted and we have come through a lot together. How do I stay sane and supportive of him through this? It breaks my heart knowing that he's leaving but I'm hopeful that we can succeed. I know it would be a no brainer to tell me to pack up and go with but that is not an option currently. Any advice would be appreciated Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeegieDave Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 It would be ok in the short term but in my opinion not something that would be wise to do for an extended period of time. Also, depends on his motives for big move to work FIFO alone with his family back home in the UK. I'd be looking for serious $$$ if it was me and as the exchange rate from AUD to GBP is rather poor is it really going to be financially worth it? He will still need a place to stay in Perth during his 6 days off which will cost a bit and then the general expense of living. I'd be weighing up as to whether it is worth it if the reasons are financial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMA02 Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 Thank you for your reply. My OH is also a Gers fan Reasons are financial initially, wedding to pay for etc but once he is established out there, I will have to face the prospect of coming out there too. I understand the cost of living being much higher and I would also intend to work too but it's getting by the first 6 months of him being away which I feel will be the most difficult. Initially he will be cutting cost of renting property by booking into FIFO accommodation whilst based in Perth. We've done the sums as best we can and feel that it is financially viable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 What do you mean by booking into FIFO accommodation? He will get his accommodation onsite on his 8 days on but on the six days off he will have to find and pay for his own. We did it for a few months but my OH was on 4 and 1 swing, so it was only a week in every 5 we had to pay for but still worked out expensive, he also flew home twice in that time for his week off, only home a few days but 6 months is quite a long time to do it without coming home at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMA02 Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 Hi AJ, thanks for your response. What i meant was, rather than renting a property, he'll be looking at rooms available for FIFO workers which works out a bit cheaper. I'm not sure how feesible it is for him to return home to UK on his 6 days off so we will have to make the best of the situation. Hopefully I'll get over before Christmas at least which will break the time up a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scuffythetugboat Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 8 days on and 6 days off is what most FIFO's dream of. He must be high up in the tree. Flying back to the UK within the 6 days would seriously stress anyone and to do it once would probably prove my point. Come out and be with your partner as soon as you can is my advice. 8 on 2 off would be good in town let lone FIFO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scuffythetugboat Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Just a thought. When my wife and I first got married we had no desire or intention of being apart for more than was absolutely necessary, no matter what the money or consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Is there a reason why you don't just move out with him now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Thank you for your reply. My OH is also a Gers fan Reasons are financial initially, wedding to pay for etc but once he is established out there, I will have to face the prospect of coming out there too. I understand the cost of living being much higher and I would also intend to work too but it's getting by the first 6 months of him being away which I feel will be the most difficult. Initially he will be cutting cost of renting property by booking into FIFO accommodation whilst based in Perth. We've done the sums as best we can and feel that it is financially viable. " You'll have to face the prospect of coming out too" I'm sorry I'm not usually negative about immigration here but that is not a comment from someone who is keen. Please don'tfeel forced into doing something you don't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMA02 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 Thanks all for your posts. This has all come around so quickly that most folks who have a dream/vision have plenty of time to consider every aspect. We have had 3 months and my reason for not going immediately is that I guess I'm the more practical/grounded one in our partnership It's not that I don't share the dream, I have all the other things to deal with like, putting the house on market, arranging shipment of cat/dog all of which take time and whilst planning a wedding I could do without the stress of the rest of it. I still have a job here and if things don't work out, he has to return with nothing (not that I'm being negative here, just being realistic) so I have to keep up the mortgage repayments, bills etc. Hence why I feel he has to establish himself there in his new role and then we can progress from there. I wish I could be more of a risk taker..you only live once..right?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Is it a permanent visa you have or sponsored? Is it a permanent position, which mine is it on? Even though it says permanent on the contract, it might only last a few months, until the end of construction etc, and the mines tend to man down even a few months before that. Am not trying to be pessimistic or put you off but you need to know all these things if you are giving up jobs, houses etc. for a mine job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainR Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Sounds very difficult, we moved out here earlier this year and I'm officially on 5wks:5wks swings but for various reasons I am away much more at the moment (currently sat in a hotel in Perth with family in Sydney). It isn't easy, and we went through a similar period before we got married, it does put a heck of a lot of stress on a marriage and kids. 8d:6d is a great rotation and moving to Perth would probably work out best, but you need to want to actually move, if not then stop chasing the $ for the wrong reasons, you will destroy your marriage, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 I think you're a brave lady and take my hat off to you as I don't think I'd have been able to do that. I guess it's going to be lots of Skype. Are you and his daughter included on his visa and would there be problems bringing her out (from his ex)? Hopefully the PIO community will be able to give you a bit of support - we also have a sister site Perth Poms which you might want to join Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agibb83 Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 That's a tough ask with out major strain on your relationship, has your partner worked away before? Working away in the middle of nowhere is not the best but acceptable (with earning decent $$$) however during his 6 days off this can possibly become a lonely time, yes he will be in perth oz in the glorious sunshine etc but knowing he won't be seeing family then he has another 8 days to look forward to at the mine. And like other people have said Ok he will be making decent money but after he has payed accommodation and food/bills etc for the 6 days off and transferred cash back to the uk with the not so good exchange rate the. Spending more on flights over. To see him for the 6 days max in which he has off (going through the mental stress again on leaving to head back to the uk) is it really worth it ? I worked a 2/3 rota in the uk (weeks) which I done for over 2 years we then emigrated to oz and I commuted back once thinking I could do it no probs as I was use to it however after that one trip back I handed in my notice. The distance was to far Regardless of the money that was getting made family and spending time together was more important there are plenty of other jobs around :-) Good luck in your choice but that is a big ask also remember he could be working in 40 + degree heat every day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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