NBird Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 We made the decision to return home a year ago and have sat on it for a while! For me it started with a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, which I desperately tried to ignore! After all everything was going well for us, we came here just over 3 years ago, found good jobs and even had our second son. My eldest was enjoying school, husband had a good job and all seemed rosy until the question of if/when we were going to buy a house came up and I just couldn't commit to it. I had trouble signing a phone contract, let alone buying property! I can honestly say I have tried very hard to settle, I have a part time job that I love, I volunteer at my sons school and have really tried to put myself out there to make Aussie friends. But I must admit that the most solid friendships I have formed out here are with British families. I find that my Aussie friendships tend to come and go and at times I have felt that when they no longer need me they drift off. I have gone through a whole range of emotions - denial that there could be anything wrong, guilt for feeling miserable/lonely, to acceptance that maybe its just time to go home. So after several months of nagging doubts, it hit me like a brick wall when my baby turned 1 and there was no family around to share the event with. I attended a first birthday party of one of my Mums group friends and her house was filled with family and friends. I came home and realised that the big house wasn't going to make me happy if the people I love are not there to share it with. That was over a year ago and we have since taken a trip home to see how we felt and I have to say it was wonderful. I do realize that people pull out all the stops to see you but we caught up with friends who we had not seen for over 2 years and it was like we had never left. I laughed so much and felt like me again. I also realized that I missed England very much and while I appreciate what Australia has to offer, it will never truly be home. So we are only just starting to tell our friends over here, I was nervous of this as amongst them are many who love Australia and wouldn't even dream of going back for a holiday. I was afraid of comments like you must be mad, but surprisingly no-one did say that! Maybe they knew that a return for us was on the cards! At the end of the day I am so glad we took the chance to come, I joke with my friends that I am at fault for being too much of a Northerner to ever fit in! But I miss the North of England, the people and humour! So now we are saving hard to go home, hopefully by next July. We are permanent residents and will apply for our citizenship as my youngest already has dual citizenship and it doesn't rest easy with me that he could grow up with more opportunities than his big brother. Apologies for the essay! This site has been a massive support for me over the last few months whilst I have been reading other peoples stories of moving back. I am really interested in other peoples stories, how they arrived at a decision and how they are going in their moving home journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 We made the decision to return home a year ago and have sat on it for a while! For me it started with a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, which I desperately tried to ignore! After all everything was going well for us, we came here just over 3 years ago, found good jobs and even had our second son. My eldest was enjoying school, husband had a good job and all seemed rosy until the question of if/when we were going to buy a house came up and I just couldn't commit to it. I had trouble signing a phone contract, let alone buying property! I can honestly say I have tried very hard to settle, I have a part time job that I love, I volunteer at my sons school and have really tried to put myself out there to make Aussie friends. But I must admit that the most solid friendships I have formed out here are with British families. I find that my Aussie friendships tend to come and go and at times I have felt that when they no longer need me they drift off. I have gone through a whole range of emotions - denial that there could be anything wrong, guilt for feeling miserable/lonely, to acceptance that maybe its just time to go home. So after several months of nagging doubts, it hit me like a brick wall when my baby turned 1 and there was no family around to share the event with. I attended a first birthday party of one of my Mums group friends and her house was filled with family and friends. I came home and realised that the big house wasn't going to make me happy if the people I love are not there to share it with. That was over a year ago and we have since taken a trip home to see how we felt and I have to say it was wonderful. I do realize that people pull out all the stops to see you but we caught up with friends who we had not seen for over 2 years and it was like we had never left. I laughed so much and felt like me again. I also realized that I missed England very much and while I appreciate what Australia has to offer, it will never truly be home. So we are only just starting to tell our friends over here, I was nervous of this as amongst them are many who love Australia and wouldn't even dream of going back for a holiday. I was afraid of comments like you must be mad, but surprisingly no-one did say that! Maybe they knew that a return for us was on the cards! At the end of the day I am so glad we took the chance to come, I joke with my friends that I am at fault for being too much of a Northerner to ever fit in! But I miss the North of England, the people and humour! So now we are saving hard to go home, hopefully by next July. We are permanent residents and will apply for our citizenship as my youngest already has dual citizenship and it doesn't rest easy with me that he could grow up with more opportunities than his big brother. Apologies for the essay! This site has been a massive support for me over the last few months whilst I have been reading other peoples stories of moving back. I am really interested in other peoples stories, how they arrived at a decision and how they are going in their moving home journey. It's a really really torturous decision. I've had a few moments like the b'day party you mentioned above- someone's grandma offered to be a surrogate type grandma to my little girl a few years ago as i think she felt sorry for her not having a grandma here- literally had to stop myself crying in the middle of a kids party. We've had several Christmasses alone, or with people who aren't that special to us. In fact, last Christmas was the first one i've spent with my parents (they came here) for 9 years. They can't come this year, and i choke up at the thought of us being alone again this Christmas. Most of my newish friends are other ex pats. i've got a couple of longer term aussies but they have slowly drifted away and my only emotional sort of connections are with other brits. ive been down under around 9 years, and i know it's not because i haven't made the effort. i find that making the effort is now too tiring with aussies- i have tried to mould myself to their way of conversation, activities etc but i feel more relaxed around other brits. This has only dawned on me after all this time and i'm much happier for no longer feeling i'm the freak here. We came to our decision as i suddenly realised my parents were mid 60s and lots of their friends had died! mine are in ok health but what if they only had 10 years or whatnot left? they miss their only grandchild and i want to give that to them. now that i'm late 30s i feel a lot more emotional about things than i did when i arrived. time seems very short and there's no way around it- the parent visa is now an impossible dream. i do feel torn on a daily basis esp when i know that in some ways we are better off here. that being said, when your child (mine's 5) tells you how much they miss their nan and grandad, and asks to move almost weekly, you gotta listen. i am worried, it's not about material things, just the stress and upheavel it will take. we are all dual citizens so are lucky. i suggest you get that before you leave. it's worth lot. how did i arrive at the decision- yes, the pain of my child not being near her family actually caught me by surprise. i know this doesn't bother a lot of people but it's a personal thing. good luck. it sounds like you will be happy there and if you leave here with citizenship, you are truly blessed. 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wattsy1982 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I can relate to both the above posts, especially with family not being around for occasions, especially for the kids sake. The kids dont want the big house, the beach, the sunshine, they look at things very black and white....and I think we could all learn a lot from their ways of thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 We made the decision to return home a year ago and have sat on it for a while! For me it started with a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, which I desperately tried to ignore! After all everything was going well for us, we came here just over 3 years ago, found good jobs and even had our second son. My eldest was enjoying school, husband had a good job and all seemed rosy until the question of if/when we were going to buy a house came up and I just couldn't commit to it. I had trouble signing a phone contract, let alone buying property! I can honestly say I have tried very hard to settle, I have a part time job that I love, I volunteer at my sons school and have really tried to put myself out there to make Aussie friends. But I must admit that the most solid friendships I have formed out here are with British families. I find that my Aussie friendships tend to come and go and at times I have felt that when they no longer need me they drift off. I have gone through a whole range of emotions - denial that there could be anything wrong, guilt for feeling miserable/lonely, to acceptance that maybe its just time to go home. So after several months of nagging doubts, it hit me like a brick wall when my baby turned 1 and there was no family around to share the event with. I attended a first birthday party of one of my Mums group friends and her house was filled with family and friends. I came home and realised that the big house wasn't going to make me happy if the people I love are not there to share it with. That was over a year ago and we have since taken a trip home to see how we felt and I have to say it was wonderful. I do realize that people pull out all the stops to see you but we caught up with friends who we had not seen for over 2 years and it was like we had never left. I laughed so much and felt like me again. I also realized that I missed England very much and while I appreciate what Australia has to offer, it will never truly be home. So we are only just starting to tell our friends over here, I was nervous of this as amongst them are many who love Australia and wouldn't even dream of going back for a holiday. I was afraid of comments like you must be mad, but surprisingly no-one did say that! Maybe they knew that a return for us was on the cards! At the end of the day I am so glad we took the chance to come, I joke with my friends that I am at fault for being too much of a Northerner to ever fit in! But I miss the North of England, the people and humour! So now we are saving hard to go home, hopefully by next July. We are permanent residents and will apply for our citizenship as my youngest already has dual citizenship and it doesn't rest easy with me that he could grow up with more opportunities than his big brother. Apologies for the essay! This site has been a massive support for me over the last few months whilst I have been reading other peoples stories of moving back. I am really interested in other peoples stories, how they arrived at a decision and how they are going in their moving home journey. An unfortunately common theme. I don't believe the friendship thing gets a lot better with time though others will deny of course. Not that a find Brit's that easy to clique with in the sense of meaningful friendship necessary either. Then I have never lived North. I wouldn't pay any attention to negative comments with regards to your return. Always odd I find those that come down on others that make a decision to return. Not a little suspect either. Wise to get citizenship prior to departure as you never know the future. Good luck in your return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I' can relate to your post in away northern bird , but I'm at the stage where I cannot make a decision , except I suppose it's different for me where my kids are older , find it difficult to find my friends who have same sense of humour as me and other things , the other way round for me though the poms we've met have moved on to the next new intake of poms lol , the Aussies I've met are really nice but got little kids and carnt really go out at night , my hubbie doesn't buy the hype about different nationalities don't want to know , he says people are people he likes the Aussies he works with they are great he says . Poms are great too it's finding the ones what you have things in common with . I have lovely neighbours but lot older and not in to my kinda thing . Everyone's different , my hubbies take on things is he's ok while he's got work but that may be a decision maker , working on the back end of things and not knowing when the next jobs coming in that's a biggy for my hubbies take on things . Luckily I still I've my home if push comes to shove , would of liked hang on for citizenship but 2 yrs is a long time to wait from now with the not knowing . My hubbie has spoke to me about putting furniture in storage and cars here and doing 2 yrs back home , but I carnt make up my mind , I think of my lad still at school a yr and half to go . I think of missing out on my grandson back home and I feel really selfish for missing out . My older lad here no luck on job front he's feeling deflated . I like it here love the weather but hubby thinks things are going get worse for better here , I feel in limbo , I just want my own home but hubbie sings to me wise men say only fools rush in lol . Hubbies fine here I'm fine here but not so fine when I think there something missing on what I had and yes I'm from one of the friendliest cities back home too miss that . And I don't even know why I bother typing it out because I never come across like I know what I'm saying . Anyway good luck in your decision to move back , I'm on the fence and don't know which way to swing and I carnt tell what my hubbies thinking he's like playing a game of chess , I never know what move he's going to make next lol . But I think if the work was plentiful without a blink of a eye it would be decision made . But we looked back on our uk life otherday and we were out every weekend dancing having a laugh Friday I got that crunchie feeling , here I don't get that lol . I said to oh we went out we had a laugh , we had family on doorstep never a quiet moment always something going on went abroad and now I think I don't know what to do for the best . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NBird Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 Thanks for the replies. Thinker78 I agree that it is a torturous decision and seems much harder going back than moving out here, not sure why that is. Maybe I am frightened of making a mistake, I know a family who settled in Perth for 7 years, moved home for 2 and then came out to Melbourne. They regret leaving Australia due to financial implications but they are so settled now that in a way it was worth it. I do not plan on ping ponging but you never know! I am also late 30's and left England in my early 30's with the attitude that we would come back if we didn't like it. But its not that we don't like Australia! My Dad said we were looking for an adventure and I think he was right, I now feel ready to go home and settle down! I also used to think that the friends thing would get better and now I realise that it wont. I lost my confidence a bit a while back and its exhausting trying to fit in. I make a huge effort when conversing with Aussies but many a time they just don't get my humour when I try to have a bit of banter. Flag of Convenience I wont pay any attention, thanks! We are feeling more confident in our decision now. We made the decision at a time when my husband was struggling with depression and have sat on it for a while to make sure its still the right decision. I'm pleased to say that things are on a more even keel now and we have a more positive outlook on things. We are very lucky that we have a house to go back to, bank accounts still there. It was like we never could completely cut ties with England and now I'm glad we didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I knew I wanted to return from the minute I landed, and don't have kiddies, but it still took me 3 years to do the deed! It is such a scary decision, with so many attached emotions and what ifs. In the end I just said we should decide or toss a coin, because life was on hold and we were getting nowhere. We have been back less than a month and I wish we had done it sooner. I have slotted straight back in and am finally feeling like myself again. If it helps you to set yourself a plan with some non-negotiables and a rough timescale then do that. In the end, it isn't hard when things actually get going! It took us just 8 weeks to un-do our life in Aus, get stuff in a container and bums on a plane....good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest66881 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Good luck with your move @Northern Bird, it sounds like the right decision for you - you were very sensible to sit on it for a year. We were supposed to stay four years and ended up settling here by default so even though we have been very happy here, we always felt that we'd go back sometime (though we never actually did anything about it). Having young children has pushed us to make a decision because we want them to have a relationship with their grandparents and don't want to uproot them at a later stage in their lives. Another big factor is that our parents are dealing with some serious illnesses and so we are acutely aware that we may not have much time left with them. Like Thinker, I have found the decision a bit torturous and even though I love the UK, I still stress myself with the "what ifs". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Don't think I really ever made the decision TBH it's just turned out that way, just as I never made the decision to stay in Aus "forever" it just looked as if it was turning out that way (and my heart broke!). I've always been one for taking the best opportunity of the moment and it's not gone too badly I suppose but if I had my time over I would have made a few more active decisions and maybe sought out good opportunities that were going to be closer to what I thought my longer term intentions might be - oh, and being explicit with the DH instead of us both trying to be mind readers LOL all I can say is that I am really glad that circumstances intervened to break an impasse between us, moving back to UK has been the best thing for my mental and physical health and for us as a couple! Good luck with the move forwards!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchaman Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Good luck on your move, we are leaving NZ but do not want to bypass OZ without giving it a try, I am thinking UK was too busy, but NZ is so dead, so maybe OZ is that happy medium we crave, if not then we have tried, nothing ventured and all that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie22 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 My decision was made earlier this year quite suddenly really. I'd had several very stressful years with my teenage son and finally managed to get him back home and change his life around. Going through that time made me think a lot and as I've been living here for 12 years and wanted to return for most of them on and off I thought one day "what am I doing?!" Worrying about whether I'll settle back in England, get a job etc. seemed nothing in comparison to lying in bed at night not knowing where my son was and whether he was safe or not. Often we waste time worrying about mundane things when we should just follow the decisions from our hearts. So I too am busy saving to move next year. Both my kids want to come with me too which is a real bonus and if my son keeps on the straight and narrow by the time our flight departs then it will be the fresh start he needs! Life is truly what you make of it. I wish you all the best with your move Northern Bird x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NBird Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 Don't think I really ever made the decision TBH it's just turned out that way, just as I never made the decision to stay in Aus "forever" it just looked as if it was turning out that way (and my heart broke!). I've always been one for taking the best opportunity of the moment and it's not gone too badly I suppose but if I had my time over I would have made a few more active decisions and maybe sought out good opportunities that were going to be closer to what I thought my longer term intentions might be - oh, and being explicit with the DH instead of us both trying to be mind readers LOL all I can say is that I am really glad that circumstances intervened to break an impasse between us, moving back to UK has been the best thing for my mental and physical health and for us as a couple! Good luck with the move forwards!!!! I think you're right in taking the best opportunities at the time! In 2010 when we made the move there was a definite downturn in opportunities in the UK and we came to Melbourne, worked hard and have enjoyed ourselves. My worry is that we could plod along reasonably well for another 10 or so years, by which time my eldest boy would be in high school and we would be stuck. Being a teacher myself I am very wary of messing up his education. He has had a very good start out here and by the time we move back next year he will be starting year 3, which seems good timing to me. Of course there never is an absolutely perfect time, but I feel that its time to make an active decision as you call it otherwise we could almost miss our slot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 yes, i'm really really hoping that my daughter settles into either year 1 or 2 and then we know we will commit to seeing out her education in the uk- we may then pong back to oz once the olds are no longer around but, who knows? primary school moves seem to be more common these days, but post year 7 ish i think stability is preferable. that's my opinion and i know it doesn't work out like that for many. the 2 systems are fairly different down the track and high school is very important- i used to worry about universities but given the insane increase in fees here shortly coupled with the fee system in the UK, i'm not sure i'll even be advising mine to bother! good luck- at least you know you are not alone and many other families grapple with this on a daily basis! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenfingers Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I echo the sentiments of not having a "light bulb" moment or actually making the decision. I found myself inconsolable when I was leaving last year after a holiday back to Scotland. Everything just seemed right and it took all I had to get back on the plane to leave Scotland. Fast forward a year and a bit, a breakdown of my relationship, I am finding myself on the roller-coaster ride of moving back by myself. The urge was so strong when I was there that I have to put faith in it. I guess it's what you will regret more.... For me the decision is between my increasingly ill dad and a mum that is taking on way too much or a life in a country that I never did feel at home in. My 2 years evolved into 9, buying a house and running my own business. Worse case I get over and I have quality time with my parents and if I don't manage to blend in, I come back thanks to my Australian citizenship. Expensive if it's a mistake but as long as you always leave yourself with options I think it's worth the risk - I hope! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy75 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Hi - I know it's a while since the last post on here but I'm so glad I stumbled across it as reading all your posts has put me somewhat at ease with our decision to return to the UK. This is my story in brief:- My husband & I moved to Aus in 2009 (after coming on holidays 5 times prior). Our lives in the UK felt like we'd hit a rut and we were just working flat out to pay the mortgage and bills with very little in the way of a social life. I remember, however, having a few wobbles before we left and I felt like I wanted someone to just say "please don't go" but of course they never did and the house had sold and the furniture was on its way so I had to just get on with it. Anyway, 10 months down the line and my Husband hadn't secured a job and his Father fell ill and died so we found ourselves making a dash back to the UK for the funeral. We came back to Aus, Husband found a job and we decided to get on with things and start putting down some roots. We therefore built a family home in the country with enough space for potential kids and enough spare rooms for family and friends to visit (of course, they never have). In 2012 we felt our lives were settled and decided to try for kids as we were both hitting our late 30's and I quickly became pregnant. About half way through my pregnancy I became really homesick and confessed to my husband that I wanted to go home - he said it was just my hormones but that if I felt the same way after the baby was born then we would look into it further. After the birth of my Son, I was very ill and spent the first 6 weeks of his life in hospital so that was very unexpected and we both quickly realised that not having close family here made it even harder. It was also starting to get harder to live in the dream house in the country as the cost of petrol rose (we weren't able to walk anywhere, our nearest shop was 20 mins drive away with no public transport) and again my husband was working just to keep us paying the mortgage and bills. We also seem to have very little time as a family, we both do shift work and although our Son goes to Childcare twice a week, I have to make up my hours on my husband's days off, we're lucky to get one day per fortnight as a family. So at the beginning of this year we decided to sell the dream home and move back nearer the City in a rental until we decided properly about where we wanted to live. We are much happier people now that we don't have the stress of a mortgage and we have money in the bank. But we still feel like we need to be closer to our families, my Son also now has cousins his own age back there and I always get that twinge of sadness when birthdays and Christmas come around knowing that my Son only has his parents to share them with. My Sister lives in Aus with her two children but we see as much of them as we did living back in the UK. I have also made one close friend (we met at Antenatal class) who is also a Brit and who I would miss dearly if we went back but she too talks about maybe making the move back one day. We have more or less made that final decision to go back but we are going for a holiday in 5 weeks time just to make sure or at least to do some research into jobs, houses etc., but the more I think about going back the more I am comfortable with the decision. Like my husband keeps saying if anyone asks why we came back at least we can say we tried it. As I hit my 40's I feel like its time to settle down and start planning for my older years (funnily enough I always said I didn't want to grow old over here and I never transferred my pensions for that reason). Of course I'll miss the nice weather and even some of the activities that we get up to but all in all I think we will be much happier as a family blended within our own families again. I'm sorry that my brief story turned a little long and if you read my post I thank you for taking the time to do so. I look forward to reading about everyone else's journeys again and am hoping that it will make mine a little less daunting too. Thanks :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Hi Huggy and welcome to PIO I think your story is very common, having a family of your own definitely changes how you see the world! The funny thing is I have often wondered if it would have worked out differently if I'd had my son in Australia, and got to know other new mum's there the way I did in Scotland. We moved out in late 2008 and returned in 2013 so like you gave it our best shot. All along we thought we would settle when.... so we kept making the next step think somehow it would all fall into place but once there was nothing more to do we looked around at our lives and felt 'this is it'....it was like we had spent 5 years working for something and we we finally got there it turned out it hadn't been worth working for. Having been kind of happy enough, we made a rather sudden decision to move back initially thinking about a sabbatical in the UK and then making a decision but once the flood gates were opened and we talked and talked about it we felt the risk of not settling in the UK was tiny so we just went for it. For us it is the best thing we could have done. I'm not going to go into what we didn't like about Perth, that one's been done to death elsewhere and obviously everyone has different wants and needs, the typical lifestyle there just wasn't for us. If you haven't already then do get citizenship before you leave - who knows what the future will bring and as your son is a citizen already you definitely don't want a future scenario where he moves back and you want to but can't. There is a MBTTUK group on here which is usually quite quiet but a good place to vent or get specific advice, if you message one of the admin they can add you. BTW I know what you mean about friends and laughing, on our last visit back to the UK I was really ill and I laid in bed at my OH's best friends house listening to them talking and laughing and I realised I'd not heard my OH laugh like that in an awful long time. Best of luck on your journey! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy75 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thanks Lady Rainicorn, yes we are definitely getting citizenship sorted after our holiday. Our Son will be an only one (not able to have any more) and I sense that he may well want to come and test out his birth country at some point down the track - my Sister did the same thing (she was born in Aus, I however was born in England, so I'm basically following in my parents footsteps, lol!). We also need to look into the medical side of things as I now have a chronic rare condition which, if my body doesn't ever recover from could mean I may not live past my Son's teenage years. However, I don't want to be held back in Aus because of that as I confidently feel that I will be looked after under the NHS system (I need monitoring, scans and blood tests every now and then) - I'm also a Nurse so I have to have confidence :-) It's also so hard being away from family when you have any kind of illness. Thanks for the heads up on the MBTTUK group, I shall try to join right now :-) xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thanks Lady Rainicorn, yes we are definitely getting citizenship sorted after our holiday. Our Son will be an only one (not able to have any more) and I sense that he may well want to come and test out his birth country at some point down the track - my Sister did the same thing (she was born in Aus, I however was born in England, so I'm basically following in my parents footsteps, lol!). We also need to look into the medical side of things as I now have a chronic rare condition which, if my body doesn't ever recover from could mean I may not live past my Son's teenage years. However, I don't want to be held back in Aus because of that as I confidently feel that I will be looked after under the NHS system (I need monitoring, scans and blood tests every now and then) - I'm also a Nurse so I have to have confidence :-) It's also so hard being away from family when you have any kind of illness. Thanks for the heads up on the MBTTUK group, I shall try to join right now :-) xx I have the only son too and tbh I'd be disappointed if he didn't use his Aussie passport at some point. I can't say I like the idea of him living the other side of the world permanently but I'm sure my parents didn't when we left (& my grandparents before them, I followed in my parents footsteps too, although in their case they migrated in South Africa) Strangely I was also diagnosed with a chronic rare condition in Australia, which my son has too (it is genetic) and I was later diagnosed as having Rheumatoid arthritis too. I am sure it had an impact on wanting to be home. My life expectancy is pretty normal (the rare condition actually reduces the risk of heart disease and RA increases it!) but in your case I can understand even more why you would want your son growing up amongst his extended family. We don't have any extended family in Scotland so it wasn't a factor for us but I must admit to a 'I want my mam' moment when I got the RA diagnosis. I did worry about healthcare but my son's Australian specialist made a direct referral to a specialist in the UK and we got an appointment on the NHS within a couple of months of being back (& I was asked if it was urgent before that), I got seen in about the same time-frame. My son has been referred on to physio and podiatry on the NHS with reasonable wait times and the quality of care is every bit as good - in fact the physio is the best he's had (& we were paying $90 a session in Perth with only $28 back from medicare). I get the medication I need free now whereas it would have been $30k a year in Perth, which I couldn't afford and I had to take an older drug with some nasty side-effects because that's what was on the PBS & even then was costing me $40 a month. I should add though that the NHS in Scotland is generally speaking better than England and there is a charter that states waiting lists will be no more than 12 weeks. In my experience that has been the case too. BTW citizenship takes 6-12 months so I wouldn't delay, the long wait is usually between approval and the ceremony and that can be 3-6 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix16 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Great post. For some it works out, me included, although I always keep in mind 'never say never', I read all your words and felt them all too, I completely understood. I also really think your decision to do citizenship is absolutely right. I think that when we introduce our kids to new worlds etc (both hemisphere's!) we have also exposed ourselves to the possibility our kids will ultimately choose the country we don't live in!! It would be horrific for parents and siblings to find themselves unable to live in the same country as each other just because of choices made/not made many years previously, In my opinion your forward thinking is very wise, I wish you the very best xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy75 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 BTW citizenship takes 6-12 months so I wouldn't delay, the long wait is usually between approval and the ceremony and that can be 3-6 months. Oooh, didn't realise citizenship would take so long, am I able to start the process now then complete when we come back from holidays? Wasn't sure if we had to stay the full time in Aus for the application process. We would like to move back by Easter as that would make a full 6 years from arriving here, however, if we have to stay a bit longer then so be it, just gives us more time to save money etc., although I definitely want to be back by Christmas 2015 (can't stand the thought of too many more hot, sticky and "lonely" Christmases). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Oooh, didn't realise citizenship would take so long, am I able to start the process now then complete when we come back from holidays? Wasn't sure if we had to stay the full time in Aus for the application process. We would like to move back by Easter as that would make a full 6 years from arriving here, however, if we have to stay a bit longer then so be it, just gives us more time to save money etc., although I definitely want to be back by Christmas 2015 (can't stand the thought of too many more hot, sticky and "lonely" Christmases). Hi Huggy, It is fine to travel during the process - you travel on your British passport as you are not actually a citizen until after the ceremony. If I remember correctly on your application form you advise any dates you will be on holiday - I'm sure that's just so they don't schedule your test whilst you are away. We were in Perth and applied in December, had our citizenship test within a month and within a month of that got our approval - our council ran citizenship ceremonies every 3 months - the March one was full so we had to wait until June. At the time there was no guarantee we'd be on the June one and we'd sold our house so it was the last piece of the jigsaw before leaving....waiting for the ceremony invite was one of the most stressful parts, huge relief when we got the letter.....we flew home 12th July '13 I had the same feelings about Christmas, when we decided to return the target was July 2013 but there was an awful lot to pull together, not least selling our house which is a 'how long is a piece of string?' type of question, July was based on my son having the UK summer off before starting school in the August but I was absolute, whatever happened, I was not spending another Christmas there....to the extent that we even talked about going back for a holiday and returning for 6 weeks before moving home...I say 'talked' my OH told me not to be so crazy when I suggested it!!! It was tied up with the project I was working on not finishing in the October as planned and they wanted me to stay until February, when February became April, I pulled the plug and recommended someone to take over from me instead which meant I got to hold the original planned July return date. We came back to one of the hottest summers I can remember in the UK so it was a fabulous way to repatriate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John2012 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 A lot UK migrants tend to have that urge to return home. I always think that Oz is where I live but Scotland will always be home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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