Quoll Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Thanks for all the positive responses guys! My parents have now rescinded their offer of looking after my 2 cats now that I'm not taking a sabbatical as originally hoped but leaving my job altogether.... They knew by doing this I would have to halt my plans because I ADORE my cats and I have to make sure they are well looked after by someone I know. Fair enough really. It may sound petty but they are doing what they need to do. I'm of your parents' age and think I might see a difference between being tied by a pair of cats for a year and for a lifetime. I have also, unfortunately, seen the disastrous decisions made by one son in particular (bit older than you!) and have had to bite my tongue more times than enough and not say I told you so but them's the breaks. Theyre just concerned, which is nice, but you have to let your adult kids make their own mistakes/way in life. Just because you have to rehome your cats doesnt mean you have to put your plans on hold, surely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) I can completely understand where your parents are coming from - to them, having a secure/stable home and financial security, are the number one things in life. Yes they are important, but so is expanding your horizons and seeking out new experiences. We can't all be the same, so try not to worry too much about their reaction: if they are anything like my parents, they will come round to it in a while! EDIT: just noticed the bit about the cats. I think it's fair enough they were willing to look after them, when they knew you were going to come back after a fixed time, due to your job. But you could end up doing a two-year WHV and then maybe getting another visa. So no matter how much you say you love your cats, you still might end up not coming back for them, and perhaps your parents don't want two pets at their age! Edited July 8, 2014 by vickyplum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I was with you up to a point but expecting them to look after your cats for you given their objections was a bit optimistic. Also a bit unfair as an elderly neighbour of mine in the 80s was left 2 cats by her daughter when she emigrated. The youngest cat was 6 at the time and lived another 14 years. Those cats were a real tie for her and she didn't even like them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 My mum originally offered to look after them, she adores cats! And it's only for a year, but she says my dad has put his foot down and doesn't want to be responsible if anything happens to them which I guess I can see his point of view! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Okay then, not petty :-) When I left the UK to work elsewhere in Europe I rehomed both my dog and my cat. Not easy but we did it and know that both animals went to loving homes - saw the photos to prove it! So it all boils down to how much you want to go? We were lucky - we were only left four guitars and a mandolin - we don't have to feed them and they never pee on the carpets. :wink: Edited July 8, 2014 by Fisher1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Great age to go travelling. You can settle down later if you want to. I actually think that Australia offers a lot of opportunity for late 20's/early 30's (although I was in Brighton UK at the time, and nothing here comes close to matching the fun I had there!). Your parents will miss you & I suspect you'll miss them (and the UK) more than you think - But you have to give it a go and as someone in their 50's, feel that 'settling down' was a whole lot easier for our generation - affordable house prices, no student loans, and job opportunities for graduates made for easier choices. Now it's far more flexible and unstable and you have to have fun whilst you can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tingtongman Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Do what you want to do. I hope this does not come across as mean, but you parents should support you in anything you will do. I think there reaction is more about you leaving them and being so far away than anything else. This is quite common, over time they will get used to it. You should follow your heart and do that, otherwise the next thing you know you are 35 and still in the same job, and wishing you took the jump when you was younger. I left for Oz last year, everyone was telling me to get a job in the UK and blah blah blah, in the end if was the best thing I have ever done, so many new doors opened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My parents have now rescinded their offer of looking after my 2 cats now that I'm not taking a sabbatical as originally hoped but leaving my job altogether.... They knew by doing this I would have to halt my plans because I ADORE my cats and I have to make sure they are well looked after by someone I know.\ How incredibly mean and childish!!!! There's not much you can do about it, unless you are able to let your cats go to a good home somewhere, or find a friend who will care for them. Ask yourself, if you sacrifice this opportunity for the sake of your cats, are you likely to regret it in future? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tingtongman Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Also to add, it's seems like your parents are disappointing you, not the other way round. Don't make anyone else make you feel bad for what you want to do, they are being selfish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 They're good people, and they normally support me in whatever I do, I guess that's why I was so taken by surprise when they were so negative towards me. My other halves parents are so supportive and excited for us it just highlight the difference - although they are a lot younger than my parents. At the end if the day, cliched as it may be - you only get one life and you have to live it the way you want! Not how other people want you too x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Much as I sympathise, I would really appreciate it if you would stop banging on about people's age - okay you do calm down as you get older but being older does not necessarily turn you into a sad case. I'm sixty two and wouldn't dream of trying to tell my daughter what to do - which is just as well because she wouldn't listen! My father was seventy when I went to work outside the UK and had nothing but encouragement to offer us. It isn't about age, its about mindset, life experience and personality. A lot of parental objections are based on heartache. I promise you, you have absolutely no idea of the heartbreak involved when your child moves twelve thousand miles away, even for a year. So its also, I think, about how good a liar you are. They'll come round - but if you were to tell me I was objecting because of my age, I think I'd have to disown you. And your cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Ha sorry didn't mean to generalise and put everyone in the same boat :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Much as I sympathise, I would really appreciate it if you would stop banging on about people's age - okay you do calm down as you get older but being older does not necessarily turn you into a sad case. I'm sixty two and wouldn't dream of trying to tell my daughter what to do - which is just as well because she wouldn't listen! My father was seventy when I went to work outside the UK and had nothing but encouragement to offer us. It isn't about age, its about mindset, life experience and personality. A lot of parental objections are based on heartache. I promise you, you have absolutely no idea of the heartbreak involved when your child moves twelve thousand miles away, even for a year. So its also, I think, about how good a liar you are. They'll come round - but if you were to tell me I was objecting because of my age, I think I'd have to disown you. And your cats. I don't get the age references either, bit cheeky. This is just about different people. My parents were not particularly young and I cannot imagine them ever questioning the decisions I make as an adult. They found my moving overseas (when they were well into 60s) a little bit exciting or certainly they appeared to, even if they thought differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 A lot of parental objections are based on heartache. I promise you, you have absolutely no idea of the heartbreak involved when your child moves twelve thousand miles away, even for a year. So its also, I think, about how good a liar you are. I think most young people have no idea! I didn't (I don't have kids), until I got into my 50's and saw the grief my friends went through when their sons and daughters left home - it was as if they were breaking up with the love of their life! That came as a shock to me, I had no idea a parent's feelings for their child were so intense, and I think many children would be similarly unaware. After all, British (and Australian) parents aren't constantly hugging and kissing their kids and telling them how much they love them, especially when they get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I think most young people have no idea! I didn't (I don't have kids), until I got into my 50's and saw the grief my friends went through when their sons and daughters left home - it was as if they were breaking up with the love of their life! That came as a shock to me, I had no idea a parent's feelings for their child were so intense, and I think many children would be similarly unaware. After all, British (and Australian) parents aren't constantly hugging and kissing their kids and telling them how much they love them, especially when they get older. Even when we wave them goodbye and have them living on the other side of the world and are reasonably sanguine (apparently) about them going, yes it does wrench at a few heart strings, even for the most selfish (having made the move myself with only grandchild) and self sufficient of us. I've had one or other on the other side of the world for over a decade now and of course you get used to it - out of sight is out of mind really - but it doesn't stop the worries and when things go pear shaped as they occasionally do it doesn't stop you wanting to be there to support your kids. I wouldn't say my feelings for my kids are intense but I certainly care for them and want the best for them and theirs. BTW, grand parenting via Skype sucks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Nicely put, Quoll. :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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