8 months in and feeling depressed... Help???

[CaptainC]

Hello. Been lurking on here for a long time stealing advice all the way to Oz. Now I feel I need some help of my own.

 

We emigrated about 8/9 months ago to Melbourne. We are in Narre Warren and are quite settled with our son in Primary school here and get out and about plenty with lots of parks and are close to beaches/Dandes/Peninsula as well as not too far from the CBD. Problem is that I am feeling completely alone. We have been here long enough that everyone back "home" in the UK have forgotten about the traumatic goodbyes and are getting on with their lives (of course) so we hardly hear from them. THat might be a good ting though because it was making me want to go home when they were crying about how much they missed us.

 

I have been trying to "get out there" and been to a few yoga sessions, classes at the gym and swimming at the weekends. Stuff with the family as well as stuff on my own since it feels like we are in each others pockets a bit now. I didn't appreciate just how hard it would be to try and make friends or even acquaintances in your 30's in a brand new part of the world. I didn't factor in all the different nationalities and culture differences which are more blended where we were in the UK and everyone would talk to everyone. I don't know if it is OK just to start chatting to people and have become very withdrawn and quiet over the last couple of months. I just don't seem to click with anyone or get further than small talk. People don't seem to want any new friends and don't seem to notice me sometimes. I feel a bit invisible but then again I feel like an alien because I don't know what to do and feel awkward.

 

I am worried that I might be depressed. It didn't dawn on me until recently. We were out for the day at the weekend and I was just sitting watching everything going by while my son and husband were running around after each other. Then I realised they had been shouting over for me to join in and I hadn't even heard them. I was just sitting there in my own world thinking about how much I want to go home. I don't actually want to go home, I like it here and some days I am walking along and I look round and thingk "Wow.... we LIVE here!" the beautiful sunrises/sunsets, the trees and fields even though we are in a built up area, the sun.

 

I made and cancelled an appt to see the GP as I was worried about being labelled as "Depressed" and don't know what it means here in Oz... Are they ok with it here or is it more taboo than in the UK? Will I be covered by Medicare if I need to get help for depression? I am worrying about everything and my mind is just racing. I think maybe I have been falling apart since before we even left the UK as it has been the most stressful, emotional and worrying thing that I have been through and that is mainly because I have chosen to do all this and can blame no one else if I hate it, it goes wrong, everything falls apart. Don't get me wrong, I know this sounds trivial and a lot of people would swap places with me in a second. I really think this is the opportunity of a lifetime and I want to be able to enjoy it. I just can't seem to get out of this fog.

 

Even if I did manage to strike up a conversation with someone new just now, I think I would be such a dullard that they would be like "Hmmm... ok, you're a fun new friend in the making!!!" cos I am just such a sad sack just now.

 

Apologies that this had rambled on for a bit. Thanks to anyone who can help me out with this. I don't want to worry my family and I don't even know what I would say to my husband as I know he is having to deal with this stuff too but he just seems to be doing better. Thanks.

 

Hi Rachel,

 

I can relate to that in a bit of a reverse fashion. My wife is a New Zealander and is fairly young (26) she came to the UK and had a terrible time making friends, I think the 8 month mark seems to be about the same for her too. In fact if I'd seen this post when it was 8 months in for her then I'd swear it was her posting this exact same thing under a pseudonym, even down to the yoga classes and gym. By that time she'd got over the initial excitement of moving to another country, started really hating on the work she was doing, the not so glorious weather, the people weren't friendly enough to commit to asking them to go for a drink or do something social etc. To make matters worse for her, I was going away to sea and leaving her in the house alone for weeks on end. I started to not ask her how she was or 'what she's up to' because it was a constant stream of negative answers. Then something just clicked and she got a friend from work who seemed to be on her wavelength, then she went out socially with her and met some of her friends and it all just seemed to fall into place. I am sure that the same will happen for you eventually, give it some time, let people warm up to you and when you least expect it you'll start to feel more at home and less stressed about it all. She welcomes nights in the house relaxing when I'm away now, rather than the hectic social life. I promise you (as I promised her) things will start to get better.

[Chortlepuss]

So many posters here I agree with! Have been here 8 years and have not met a single person I would call a friend - but this is in the context of having lifelong mates in the UK, and probably unrealistic for me in my 50's with nearly grown kids to aspire to. I do have some nice acquaintances though and am trying to remain positive. Accepting that this is the way it's going to be for me has taken a bit of pressure off tbh. Advice about doing what you love is spot on. There is magnificent scenery here and I try to head somewhere special when I'm down. I've also found posting here invaluable. Your experience is not uncommon, and you are not alone by a long chalk. My son is depressed and is getting some fantastic support, and although medical costs can be high here access is also good.

[Guest lisaoh]

Hi I know what you mean it's so hard harder than I thought...I thought it would be easy ..I have been here since January living in Sutherlandshire..NSW.. I had a massive social life at home but haven't really met many people here yet..I'm not working but I know when I do it will get easier(had an interview last wk). A massive part of my life at home was work.. I have 2 children but both at school (9 & 12) don't really see many of the mums at school.. I've joined the gym kids in activities. Etc so hopefully will meet more people.. I have friends in perth and Brisbane they say to hang in there it does get easier!!!!

[jasepom]

There are lots of family groups that have regular meet ups in Melbourne in and around your area. Go on BritVics and check it out.

[jasepom]

In addition, people recommend you give it 2 years in Australia as a general rule. You'll know by then if it's for you or not and you've given it a proper go. Good luck making friends, and don't be scared of the locals, they are always interested in Foreigners. :tongue:

[Petals]

I agree with the advice others have given about just doing what you want to do. Common ground is usually the ice breaker. One of my best friends I met doing gardening duty at the high school, my children went to private school and we could give our time gardening etc to reduce some of the expense. Funnily enough she is English too. Have a look at the courses and activities at your local community house as well, good place to find people with similar interests.

 

Now I better hit the phone and catch up with two of my friends I have not been in contact with lately, that is another thing, water the friendship. :laugh:

[JoannaMcQ]

I'm so glad that you didn't delete your post, as it resonates with me now..... I'm doing searches on this, and my second window is open to moving companies, just in case I don't get out of this funk, and decide that I need to go back!

 

I have been here 7 years, and I have had moments like you describe - it took me about four years to actually make any friends, and that's accounting for people I also met through my Australian husband. I expected it to happen much sooner, and I think my confidence took a HUUUUGE knock when it didn't (Like, whats wrong with me...why don't people like me??etc)

 

I think you do really need to sit down with hubby and have a heart to heart - maybe not telling him how you feel is making you even more lonely and unsure? Maybe he is feeling a little like you, but thinks YOU are doing better than him?! And going to the GP sounds like a great plan also - I know you can get a few sessions with a counsellor on Medicare as part of a mental health plan, and maybe this will help you to have things clearer in your head - ie - whether its an adjustment issue, and whether time will help, or whether you just really cant do it.

 

I think I found it difficult when everyone at home DID get on with their lives, kind of like they forgot me, and was our friendship really THAT easy to move on from?? that certainly made things tougher for me, so I understand that aspect of it. I think the hard part is, not having those friendships where you can just drop round to them for a cuppa, and just be relaxed in their company as you've known them for so long. But at the same time, that's not something you can develop quickly, like you said. I think there is also so much you don't think about before you are actually here doing it - one aspect of that for me has been the guilt that now I have children my parents and sister are missing out on.

 

So, I guess I don't have a quick fix, I just wanted to add to the messages of support and let you know you are not alone totally, although physically. Sending big hugs your way xx

[Shellybingobingo]

Ok, your not going to like this but it doesn't sound like your really making enough of an effort to make friends. Go out to bars as often as you can meet as many people as you can. Speak to as many people as you can. On trams/trains whenever and whenever. Speak to people of all ages. Just put yourself out there if you believe your invisible soon you will be.

 

You live in the best city in the best country in the world. Great things can happen but only if you let them. So put yourself out there, pinning for home will get you nowhere. Best of Luck.

 

 

Its not not that easy if you are Billy no mates sitting on ya own in a bar , and if you went up to someone they going thing you are a right fruit cake .

 

It it may appear that way that people don't make the effort , I assure you they do , and too much of a effort , a lot of people have family here , easier for them they make friends through them . Everything is so spaced out people you like and get on with live miles out the way . In some cases .

 

I would never dream of going in a pub on me own , to get talking to folk . A bloke maybe would not bother about doing that , but a woman would . On the trains you smile at people , to acknowledge them it's like they stare straight through you lol , it's easier if you have family here or young kids not so easy when ya oh is at work , I've been sit in cafés on my jack jones , felt a right idiot , try make conversation , but people are too wrapped up in their own little social circles , there isn't no room for you . However I've just been talking to a aussie and she was telling me a few things where go and stuff , lovely she was , but that will just be a case of a hand wave and a hiya when you are out if seen again . I entertain myself most days , it's got me like that , I always find something to do , but I do miss family and friend get together so back in uk . So ya see it's not that people don't try it's who they already know and escalates from there meeting peeps .

[Alaska]

I think a lot of it is finding "similar" people to yourself.

I count myself as very fortunate as I hooked up with a group of people from different nationalities who all had small children and we met on a regular basis in parks. This was from joining a Facebook group that I heard about from someone on here. It wasn't just for expats or people who have moved to Brisbane but it pretty much ended up being that as we are the people that are all in the same situation. The first time I went to one of the meets I felt really down and also kind of disloyal to my good friends in the UK. I felt that I had great friends and that I didn't want to have to put myself out there, at this point of my life. I'm glad I stuck with it though as I have formed some very solid friendships from it.

 

I also was fortunate to be a stay at home mum when we got here so I was able to be at school drop off and pick up and I introduced myself to everyone and explained that we had just moved here. I realised that people aren't magically have any idea that you have just moved and know no one. I have some great friends from that class, and 2 years later, a group of 5 of us go out for meals regularly and meet up with and without the kids.

 

I met another good friend, at an event and heard she was from the UK and we hit it off.

 

I even walked into a Poms in Oz meet knowing no one and met some lovely people I am still in contact with (and saw last night actually )

 

I understand people who say "do what you are happy with" but it seems that it isn't making you happy. I really think it is worth coming out of your comfort zone. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin and don't need to be around people all the time, but I recognised that this was a unique situation and I had to put myself out there. For the first time in my life, I was the one going out of my way to talk to people. It really has paid off and I definitely have a better social life now that when I was in the UK - that is largely because most of my good friends were dotted around the country there and we lived in a separate area to where I grew up.

 

It may take time and some people really are too busy for new friends but don't take it personally.

 

Good luck. xx

[LKC]

Its not not that easy if you are Billy no mates sitting on ya own in a bar , and if you went up to someone they going thing you are a right fruit cake .

 

It it may appear that way that people don't make the effort , I assure you they do , and too much of a effort , a lot of people have family here , easier for them they make friends through them . Everything is so spaced out people you like and get on with live miles out the way . In some cases .

 

I would never dream of going in a pub on me own , to get talking to folk . A bloke maybe would not bother about doing that , but a woman would . On the trains you smile at people , to acknowledge them it's like they stare straight through you lol , it's easier if you have family here or young kids not so easy when ya oh is at work , I've been sit in cafés on my jack jones , felt a right idiot , try make conversation , but people are too wrapped up in their own little social circles , there isn't no room for you . However I've just been talking to a aussie and she was telling me a few things where go and stuff , lovely she was , but that will just be a case of a hand wave and a hiya when you are out if seen again . I entertain myself most days , it's got me like that , I always find something to do , but I do miss family and friend get together so back in uk . So ya see it's not that people don't try it's who they already know and escalates from there meeting peeps .

 

I agree.

 

Also, in response to Jack13's post, there is a world of difference between being young (as he is) and able to get out to bars, talk to people on buses etc, and being a parent/a bit older in that situation. I wouldn't want to make friends with random people that I met on the train, and I bet others in a similar situation wouldn't either. When you are older, you learn to be a bit more picky about who you choose to associate with. Not because there is anything wrong with that random person as such, but more because you have other responsibilities, and it is far easier if the people you know are kind of on the same page, as it were. I would rather have friends who were at the same life stage as me, because realistically I am not going to socialise with those who aren't. If that makes sense...!

[ramot]

I think a lot of it comes down to the area you move to perhaps.

We moved to the Sunshine Coast from Asia when we retired with no close family in Australia, and although there are plenty of young people here, lots of people retire to this area from all over Australia and from over seas, without close family in the area. So as time is running out!!!! most of us live life to the full and make the effort to follow our interests and hobbies. Consequently have found it no problem to meet many like minded people.

We really have luckily made a good close group of friends of our age here, and to pick up on the previous post even though I am old and grey! I regularly go out with a much younger group of friends, who on the face of it are at a different stage of their lives to me, but we have a good laugh together. We all came to the coast about the same time (10 years ago) met up then and supported each other, and now we just have lunches out together or happy hour on a friday.

Perhaps my problem is that I'm not grown up enough yet for my age!!!!!!

[Shellybingobingo]

I think a lot of it comes down to the area you move to perhaps.

We moved to the Sunshine Coast from Asia when we retired with no close family in Australia, and although there are plenty of young people here, lots of people retire to this area from all over Australia and from over seas, without close family in the area. So as time is running out!!!! most of us live life to the full and make the effort to follow our interests and hobbies. Consequently have found it no problem to meet many like minded people.

We really have luckily made a good close group of friends of our age here, and to pick up on the previous post even though I am old and grey! I regularly go out with a much younger group of friends, who on the face of it are at a different stage of their lives to me, but we have a good laugh together. We all came to the coast about the same time (10 years ago) met up then and supported each other, and now we just have lunches out together or happy hour on a friday.

Perhaps my problem is that I'm not grown up enough yet for my age!!!!!!

 

 

Lol ramot , I'm not grown up niether , think that's my problem sometimes , I want a boogie and a sing song haha . But I'm not a drunk I don't get splat faced or anything , just Tia Maria or baileys . Nice and merry but wouldn't make a fool of myself . Well I did once at Xmas but that's allowed haha .

[flag of convenience]

I certainly wouldn't limit myself to friends on the same life stage as me but a far greater diverse group. Hard enough without putting limits on who we talk to in my view. In the age of forums and internet dating I view it as more difficult having chance meetings than the past. Besides cafes at one time a good place for a chat have become heads down looking at a screen a lot of the time.

For some reason folk feel I guess more secure going on line to converse or meet. Makes for a lonelier life for many though imo having more cyber relations than real ones.

[jack13]

Its not not that easy if you are Billy no mates sitting on ya own in a bar , and if you went up to someone they going thing you are a right fruit cake .

 

It it may appear that way that people don't make the effort , I assure you they do , and too much of a effort , a lot of people have family here , easier for them they make friends through them . Everything is so spaced out people you like and get on with live miles out the way . In some cases .

 

I would never dream of going in a pub on me own , to get talking to folk . A bloke maybe would not bother about doing that , but a woman would . On the trains you smile at people , to acknowledge them it's like they stare straight through you lol , it's easier if you have family here or young kids not so easy when ya oh is at work , I've been sit in cafés on my jack jones , felt a right idiot , try make conversation , but people are too wrapped up in their own little social circles , there isn't no room for you . However I've just been talking to a aussie and she was telling me a few things where go and stuff , lovely she was , but that will just be a case of a hand wave and a hiya when you are out if seen again . I entertain myself most days , it's got me like that , I always find something to do , but I do miss family and friend get together so back in uk . So ya see it's not that people don't try it's who they already know and escalates from there meeting peeps .

I always go to bars on my own and cafes and stuff. but then again most people do think I'm a fruit cake lol however I like to see myself as a like-able fuit cake. Haha. I suppose thats the only child in me, though. I'm used to doing things alone often people will just get talking to you and then they'll invite you to join them. Through them you'll meet their friends and then friends of friends and before you know it it's like youv'e lived there forever. But I guess it is easier at my age.

[Guest51810]

I always go to bars on my own and cafes and stuff. but then again most people do think I'm a fruit cake lol however I like to see myself as a like-able fuit cake. Haha. I suppose thats the only child in me, though. I'm used to doing things alone often people will just get talking to you and then they'll invite you to join them. Through them you'll meet their friends and then friends of friends and before you know it it's like youv'e lived there forever. But I guess it is easier at my age.

 

I'm an only child fruit cake too lol. I know what Shelly means though. It's really hard to go somewhere alone and just get chatting to people. I went to London alone and went to the hostel pub every night and did get chatting to people but it's definitely hard and you do end up thinking people think your weird for being alone. Also I think your right about it being easier at our age too, it's probably a little bit harder for others

[Shellybingobingo]

I always go to bars on my own and cafes and stuff. but then again most people do think I'm a fruit cake lol however I like to see myself as a like-able fuit cake. Haha. I suppose thats the only child in me, though. I'm used to doing things alone often people will just get talking to you and then they'll invite you to join them. Through them you'll meet their friends and then friends of friends and before you know it it's like youv'e lived there forever. But I guess it is easier at my age.

 

 

 

Lol jack , I am a likeable fruit cake too , but you are a lad , I'm clocking 43 hunnie , that just to me would not look right lol , I would feel like everyone was looking at me thinking I was on the pull or something lol .

 

Yes ens I love my hubbies company , but he's at work , I go pubs and restaurants and things at weekends with hubby I don't sit in the house feeling sorry for myself don't worry , lol . But I would like a few mates for get together so and things . Now and then . I do things on my own , I don't like living in people's pockets , but to have no one to just to talk to if you get me lol I've got a sons who are old enough for the pub , it's not cool with their mum lol .

 

my kids get asked if I'm their girlfriend , they get rather embarresed I can understand they don't want hang out with mum lol .

[paul2542]

Hi I know what you mean it's so hard harder than I thought...I thought it would be easy ..I have been here since January living in Sutherlandshire..NSW.. I had a massive social life at home but haven't really met many people here yet..I'm not working but I know when I do it will get easier(had an interview last wk). A massive part of my life at home was work.. I have 2 children but both at school (9 & 12) don't really see many of the mums at school.. I've joined the gym kids in activities. Etc so hopefully will meet more people.. I have friends in perth and Brisbane they say to hang in there it does get easier!!!!

 

Seems like so many have gone through/going through the same thing. Kind of makes you feel a little better.

[paul2542]

Its not not that easy if you are Billy no mates sitting on ya own in a bar , and if you went up to someone they going thing you are a right fruit cake .

 

It it may appear that way that people don't make the effort , I assure you they do , and too much of a effort , a lot of people have family here , easier for them they make friends through them . Everything is so spaced out people you like and get on with live miles out the way . In some cases .

 

I would never dream of going in a pub on me own , to get talking to folk . A bloke maybe would not bother about doing that , but a woman would . On the trains you smile at people , to acknowledge them it's like they stare straight through you lol , it's easier if you have family here or young kids not so easy when ya oh is at work , I've been sit in cafés on my jack jones , felt a right idiot , try make conversation , but people are too wrapped up in their own little social circles , there isn't no room for you . However I've just been talking to a aussie and she was telling me a few things where go and stuff , lovely she was , but that will just be a case of a hand wave and a hiya when you are out if seen again . I entertain myself most days , it's got me like that , I always find something to do , but I do miss family and friend get together so back in uk . So ya see it's not that people don't try it's who they already know and escalates from there meeting peeps .

 

Completely agree, its not like none of us make an effort. The friends I do have in Sydney live quite far away. I went seeing one last month and it took me almost 2 hours to drive up there.

[Sarahelle]

I feel for you too. I always knew I'd find it difficult make new friends since I've never been very good at it and even after a few years here, I still don't have any 'close' friends. I can also relate to being different - I never had a problem talking to people in places I've worked before but for some reason, I just can't do it here, in fact my boss refers to me as the quietest person she's every met, which I really don't think I am. I've definitely become more withdrawn and am stuck in the small talk phase with most people - it would be so nice to meet someone I truly connected with.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Hope things get better for you xx

[Kates]

Hi Rachel,

 

Reading your post made me feel like a normal person, so thanks for writing it.

 

I have been in Perth for 3 months now and I am having a crap time managing my feelings too. It totally struck a cord with me when you wrote about looking about your surroundings and thinking "Wow I live here" I feel the same all the time, but I am just so sad to leave my mates back home. I just can't seem to gel with Aussies in the same way I do people in Manchester where we're from.

 

I've had depression in the past, and I don't think I'm depressed; nor do I think you are depressed for what its worth, I just think its really hard trying to re-establish all your social networks and supports. I'm 35 and i do think age has something to do with it. I feel really pissed off with myself for leaving my mates back home, I had invested 20+ years with some of them and I feel like I have been really stupid and thrown it all away.

I really didn't want to come to Oz and just hang about with other Pommies or eve use this forum but its starting to get to that stage. I find Aussies are a bit cold, and like you say, they do 5 mins of small talk and thats it...they just leave you cold; usually just as I'm about to suggest going for a brew or arranging a playdate for the kids!

 

Anyway I was just writing to let you know you're not alone. and also so I can rant on as well!! thanks for listening!

Write back if you feel the urge, I know we are no where near each other geographically but I could do with an 'online' pommy chat here and there.

Kate

[flag of convenience]

There is a general dispassionate nature in many from here I'm afraid. Just how it is and unlikely to change for those of us with a different social perspective. We sink or swim, in other words adapt to the climate here and hopefully connect with a few on the way. I generally do find it easier with those from other places, but most are establishing themselves or live far away so personal contacts are not as forthcoming as would be liked perhaps.

The high expense of dining out has really curtailed the frequency of such occasions as well. The need to drive to venues and the like all add up to limited get togethers as well.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

 

@RachelGreep I believe Trudy got in touch with you but hasn't heard back, she is worried she has scared you off lol. She is a wonderful lady really down to earth please get in touch with her, I know you will be in good hands.

[byrned]

Hi, you sound as though you have situational depression as I call it, a lot of us ex-pats get and got it at some point. Yes this country is very nice, but it can also be extremely lonely, you could be in paradise and it could still be hard while you are getting used to not having the people you love most in the world near ie your close friends and extended family. The older you get the harder it is to make friends I found when I came that most people at my age already had enough friends in their life they did not need any more. What I did was to get a job, you may have to do this it will give you purpose and will also give you the social interaction that you may need. Try the job route first without the aid of tablets. good luck.

[Rachel Tilley]

Hi Rachel,

 

Your original post does not mention if you work at all? Is your husband at work and your child at school and you are spending the day time alone and trying to fill that with all of the things you mentioned?

 

I found it very hard in Australia too. I'm a very outgoing person and will talk to anyone and make the most of anything, but I did find that moving from a very busy job to a stay-at-home mum scenario difficult. I would go off to play groups, be introduced to friends of friends, be invited to strangers houses with my son for play mornings and lunch and it was very kind of people, but it wasn't always my thing. I remember one event where I was at a new found friends house party on my own, I walked down the garden, looked at the amazing views, the swimming pool, and I thought to myself what a beautiful home she had - but I'd never felt so alone at that moment in my life! I just wanted my own family and my own friends. As time went on some of the people I met who had never moved countries just didn't understand and one woman even snapped at me one day and said "you're so miserable, why don't you just go home?"

 

There were times when I did just prefer my own company. When my son was in day care I used to spend hours at the library reading all of the latest magazines for free whilst enjoying a coffee and cake. I then got involved with some charity work, and my the best friends that I made were through that. Due to having no job I was available in the day to work in a church group that provided meals for the homeless and isolated people in the society of that area and I found something that made me happy. Doing things to help others is what gives me the most job satisfaction, and voluntary work definitely helped save my sanity. I ended up on anti-depressants too, and eventually came home to England.

 

Is charity work/volunteering your thing? If you do have free time on your hands perhaps this is something you can consider? The care homes near where I lived had a 'befriending service' where volunteers visited elderly people who had no family, and volunteers would visit weekly for a chat and then progress to going out to the shops or something. There's always someone who would appreciate whatever help you could offer, and ultimately, my volunteer work did lead to a part time paid job for a while.

 

It's been a little while since you posted, so I hope you're feeling better.

[RachelGreep]

Thanks for all the replies. I haven't been back on here for a while as we have all been ill with some horrible virus and then I forgot my password.

 

Pom Queen - thanks for that. I have replied to Trudy and I hope I don't scare her off with my waffling!

 

After posting on here and kind of admitting to myself how I am feeling about everything, I have found that I feel a little bit better. Most likely it is because I have realised that there are so many people on here that have felt the same way and it is NOT just me. Then again, it doesn't help me turn into an outgoing, easy-to-like person who can talk to anyone which is what I feel like I need to magically transform myself into.

 

I am trying to get my head together and take on board that things ARE very different here, people talk about different things etc and that I am not going to be able to talk about stuff that I talk to my UK friends about which I think I was taking for granted as well. I didn't realise that I would be a complete stranger to everyone and vice versa (which sounds stupid but is the truth) like back in the UK if I met my friend for a coffee, you would just talk about anything and everything because you have known each other for 30 years!!! Or even the Mums from nursery... we may just have been acquaintances but our kids went to nursery together for a couple of years and even though it was just a few words each day it was 2 years worth of chat here and there so they were almost friends... Having no one at all that you know is harder than I thought - I actually didn't even think of this side of things. I worried about how much I would miss everyone we left behind but I didn't think for one minute about how much it would affect me when I don't know a single soul. I actually said "Oh! Hello!" to someone the other day and they did smile back with a confused expression. I thought it was my neighbour.... from our old house in the UK.... Woops! Looked just like her and by the time I realised it can't be her - I am in Australia! I had already given her a sunny Helloooooo!