So you are going back/have gone back...why?

[mcpound]

Im really enjoying this thread. Im coming from a completly different angle.

I first went to Oz when my boyfriend moved over on a working visa. We stayed there for about 15 months all together and went back to U.K to do my nurse training vowing to return to Oz. That was 11 years ago. In that time we have married, had a child, overcome much adversity and travelled extensively around the U.k. Felt like we discovered our own country and fell in love with it. Its true distance really makes you appreciate what you have.

We did apply for our permanent residency nearly 5 years ago and only have 3 months left before it runs out. Life has recently taken a turn and it is possible for us to make the move if we choose to. Im researching like mad. I won't say im completely happy with our life in U.K mostly to do with my job but I can turn that around here rather than moving all the way to Australia but I have an itch. Its that wanderlust from my early twenties calling. I love the way the move has been described as an adventure. Thats totally how I see it. Yes we now have a 5 yr old so things will certainly not be straight forward but im so tempted to give it a go. We are thinking of renting out our house in uk so keeping that security open. Reading about your experiences has given me more confidence to try it.After all, home will always be here if it doesn't work out.

Xx

[Petals]

Interesting thread, I had parents who wanted the adventure and the experience and all that stuff and I just look at it with completely different eyes having lived the experiences. Therefore I think personally that stability and stickability are the main stays of our lives and especially the lives of our children. I was never going to to any moving around once I had my children. I know what its like to move countries, to move schools and experience all the difference in the world, and for me its ok with no children but not a whole heap of fun for kids.

[Buttercup]

What a nice thread! People being respectful of others opinions and experiences.

We came back to the UK because we simply preferred our lives here. All the Ingredients that make up our happiness as Individuals was always right under our noses, which we kind of knew but now appreciate a whole lot more. You only get one life and if your healthy and happy, well who cares about the rest.... :-)))

[caramac]

Interesting thread, I had parents who wanted the adventure and the experience and all that stuff and I just look at it with completely different eyes having lived the experiences. Therefore I think personally that stability and stickability are the main stays of our lives and especially the lives of our children. I was never going to to any moving around once I had my children. I know what its like to move countries, to move schools and experience all the difference in the world, and for me its ok with no children but not a whole heap of fun for kids.

 

 

I think it depends on the child. We were just talking about this with our lot last week - they've moved across the world twice and back and again within the UK. They all said they couldn't imagine what it would be like to live only in one place and they feel they're much more aware of the wider world than most of their friends. They have friends all over the place who they can go and stay with and who can come to stay with us - two from Sydney are coming in July and it's likely that our middle one will head over to Melbourne next year to stay with another friend and get some work experience with her. They feel comfortable travelling long distances on their own because they've done it so often.

I think it's probably easier these days because staying in touch is so easy, so the dislocated feeling maybe isn't so great.

 

My husband moved around a lot as a child because his Dad worked for the British Council and he's so knowledgeable about all the places he's lived, although he did eventually come back to the UK to go to boarding school while his parents carried on moving - he had some amazing places for school holidays and just made friends with the local kids for those times. He loved moving around.

I grew up in one house until I was 21 and I only keep in touch with two people from all that time and I never go back (my parents moved after. I left home). I don't feel any particular connection to the place or anyone there despite being there all my early life and having a lovely childhood.

As my eldest said when I was apologising to her because we were moving again, 'our stability comes from us as a family and you as parents rather than where we happen to live'.

I guess it's different for everyone and what's right for one isn't for another.

[ramot]

Interesting thread. I have moved all my life, father in army, lived in Germany as a child, and have moved constantly since, my wander lust and then husbands occupation. I have lived in 5 different countries even going to Africa on my own in the 1960's, and have no real loyalty to anywhere, but can make anywhere home because I have had to.

have moved our 3 children around, and they don't hopefully appear to have suffered.

the oldest has stayed in UK and quite content, middle one has moved to OZ to join us from UK, he prefers the climate etc here, having spent lots of time with us in Asia, our youngest has wander lust like me, lived in Mexico and Africa and now here, hope for ever, but that's a mum talking, but all 3 have had the most amazing experiences due to moving around with us.

so same background, but all made their own decisions. My oldest prefers to keep in touch with ex uni friends, middle one makes friends where ever he lives, and daughter has friends all over the world from her travels.

There are no rights or wrongs, we have all lived different lives, and never know where we might end up, just try to be happy and make the most of where ever we are at each stage of our lives.

[Aunt Agatha]

So many people go back and then return soon after, I think people do over think things which is why they come and go. Australians don't seem to have the wanderlust. They travel but take unpaid leave rather than uproot all the time. Be content with what you have is my advice.

 

If everyone was without wanderlust or content with what they had no one would emigrate in the first place!!

[Helz980]

First of all I will say Australia is an amazing country but it's not for me. I've never been so unhappy. I'm returning for a holiday end July to determine whether I do want to move back but tbh I can't honestly see myself returning to Oz.

[Alfies Mom]

In the time that I have worked here I have met many people who were ten pound poms, after 40 years some would love to go back because they feel it's where they belong, I met one lady who was heart broken because she couldn't return and felt it was too late for her to change her life, I couldn't imagine being somewhere and feeling that sad, this is why we are going home, we are following our hearts, and instead of moaning about it we are doing something about it, eight years is long enough for you to know if it's right or not, follow your dreams only you can make it happen! We haven't failed, we just know living this life isn't for us.

[wattsy1982]

We haven't failed, we just know living this life isn't for us.

 

Too right!

[Fraser Burns]

Does anyone stay?

[northshorepom]

Does anyone stay?

 

Yes, of course. Lots of people

[Fraser Burns]

Phew

[jasepom]

Lots of people also return only to realise they had rise tinted glasses on and either the country or the people they have left have changed or they've changed. Then they feel trapped in the Uk when they can't afford to come back to Australia to rebuild.

[wattsy1982]

Lots of people also return only to realise they had rise tinted glasses on and either the country or the people they have left have changed or they've changed. Then they feel trapped in the Uk when they can't afford to come back to Australia to rebuild.

 

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[bunbury61]

One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me.

 

 

I had the big house , with hindsight I probably worked harder in oz .....I had someone say to me on this site ,last week , that it was my choice to come back to the u.k , and keep an eye on my parents .

its not a choice , its an obligation , its in your DNA .......I value my parents , more than a bloody 4x2 with a pool .

The reason I get on my high horse , is that family in oz , have left me and my wife to it , they get a restful nights sleep every night , knowing that the youngest is looking after mom ......without any of the responsibility.

My issue is not with Australia , or anyone on this forum , but if having a bigger house is the top priority for you , then you are a different person to me .

Its probably an age thing ...in my 20s , I wanted the beach ....30c ...and a few beers , and only weekly thought of my parents , who were still in good health ...although I still kept in touch regularly .

Iam in 50s now , I couldn't give a monkeys about the beach , the big house or 30c, PRIORITIES CHANGE AS YOU GET OLDER ,I probably have 5 years left with mom ....thank god iam here in the u.k ....I would be climbing the walls if I was in oz .

[Quoll]

I had the big house , with hindsight I probably worked harder in oz .....I had someone say to me on this site ,last week , that it was my choice to come back to the u.k , and keep an eye on my parents .

its not a choice , its an obligation , its in your DNA .......I value my parents , more than a bloody 4x2 with a pool .

The reason I get on my high horse , is that family in oz , have left me and my wife to it , they get a restful nights sleep every night , knowing that the youngest is looking after mom ......without any of the responsibility.

My issue is not with Australia , or anyone on this forum , but if having a bigger house is the top priority for you , then you are a different person to me .

Its probably an age thing ...in my 20s , I wanted the beach ....30c ...and a few beers , and only weekly thought of my parents , who were still in good health ...although I still kept in touch regularly .

Iam in 50s now , I couldn't give a monkeys about the beach , the big house or 30c, PRIORITIES CHANGE AS YOU GET OLDER ,I probably have 5 years left with mom ....thank god iam here in the u.k ....I would be climbing the walls if I was in oz .

 

Where Is the "Top Post" emoticon when you need it? Bunbury, you are a star!

 

People first - always!

[caramac]

Where Is the "Top Post" emoticon when you need it? Bunbury, you are a star!

 

People first - always!

 

I was just thinking the same thing! :yes:

[bunbury61]

Where Is the "Top Post" emoticon when you need it? Bunbury, you are a star!

 

People first - always!

 

you know quoll , at times it is hard , keeping an eye on an elderly parent ....we aint the waltons ....its real life , and we don't always get on .....but PRIORITIES are PRIORITIES .....its a box that must be ticked......thank you for your kind words

[wattsy1982]

People first - always!

 

As I was told before..."Australia will always be here, people wont'

[Katie22]

I had the big house , with hindsight I probably worked harder in oz .....I had someone say to me on this site ,last week , that it was my choice to come back to the u.k , and keep an eye on my parents .

its not a choice , its an obligation , its in your DNA .......I value my parents , more than a bloody 4x2 with a pool .

The reason I get on my high horse , is that family in oz , have left me and my wife to it , they get a restful nights sleep every night , knowing that the youngest is looking after mom ......without any of the responsibility.

My issue is not with Australia , or anyone on this forum , but if having a bigger house is the top priority for you , then you are a different person to me .

Its probably an age thing ...in my 20s , I wanted the beach ....30c ...and a few beers , and only weekly thought of my parents , who were still in good health ...although I still kept in touch regularly .

Iam in 50s now , I couldn't give a monkeys about the beach , the big house or 30c, PRIORITIES CHANGE AS YOU GET OLDER ,I probably have 5 years left with mom ....thank god iam here in the u.k ....I would be climbing the walls if I was in oz .

 

bunbury you are a legend. My 2 sisters emigrated many years before me when my parents were alive and well. My mum became ill when I was backpacking around Oz, when that happened all 3 of us immediately got on the plane back to the UK. I was shocked at how different my mum looked after being away from her for just 10 months. My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Both my sisters had lives back in Australia that they couldn't leave so when they had to go back they both knew that would be the last time they would ever see her again - how heartbreaking is that? She died several months later. Then my father also died suddenly 6 months after that. The hardest part for my sisters was having to grieve so far away. I am so thankful that I was living in England and was with my mum and dad right up to the end. Both my sisters have the lovely homes, cars etc. and they both love Australia but I wouldn't swap any of that for not having spent my mum and dad's last 6 months with them, and I still feel the same 25 years later. All the money in the world cannot repair broken hearts.

[bunbury61]

bunbury you are a legend. My 2 sisters emigrated many years before me when my parents were alive and well. My mum became ill when I was backpacking around Oz, when that happened all 3 of us immediately got on the plane back to the UK. I was shocked at how different my mum looked after being away from her for just 10 months. My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Both my sisters had lives back in Australia that they couldn't leave so when they had to go back they both knew that would be the last time they would ever see her again - how heartbreaking is that? She died several months later. Then my father also died suddenly 6 months after that. The hardest part for my sisters was having to grieve so far away. I am so thankful that I was living in England and was with my mum and dad right up to the end. Both my sisters have the lovely homes, cars etc. and they both love Australia but I wouldn't swap any of that for not having spent my mum and dad's last 6 months with them, and I still feel the same 25 years later. All the money in the world cannot repair broken hearts.

 

 

Nor the guilt ! ....luckily I wont be experiencing that .

[grahamffc]

Everyone will miss family and friends, I couldn't live with myself if I got a phone call saying something had happened to one if my parents and I'd spent the last x years on the other dude if the world.

 

Also, and this will sound like staring the obvious, but it's so damn far away from anywhere here. I used to enjoy visiting friends in different parts of the uk, going on a long weekend to Europe, having a Sunday outing closer by. Currently I have not left central Melbourne for three months, it's as if the cities might as well have walls around them. I am lucky to have some friends scattered around Australia but getting a 2.5 hour flight to Brisbane is a but if a mission and is essentially the same as Melbourne just a bit warmer. That's probably not so much of an issue for people with families that wouldn't be able to do all that at home anyway.

[Petals]

When they are 95 and still going strong a rethink is needed. We become too old to look after our parents :wink:

[Gbye grey sky]

I had the big house , with hindsight I probably worked harder in oz .....I had someone say to me on this site ,last week , that it was my choice to come back to the u.k , and keep an eye on my parents .

its not a choice , its an obligation , its in your DNA .......I value my parents , more than a bloody 4x2 with a pool .

The reason I get on my high horse , is that family in oz , have left me and my wife to it , they get a restful nights sleep every night , knowing that the youngest is looking after mom ......without any of the responsibility.

My issue is not with Australia , or anyone on this forum , but if having a bigger house is the top priority for you , then you are a different person to me .

Its probably an age thing ...in my 20s , I wanted the beach ....30c ...and a few beers , and only weekly thought of my parents , who were still in good health ...although I still kept in touch regularly .

Iam in 50s now , I couldn't give a monkeys about the beach , the big house or 30c, PRIORITIES CHANGE AS YOU GET OLDER ,I probably have 5 years left with mom ....thank god iam here in the u.k ....I would be climbing the walls if I was in oz .

 

Don't get me wrong because I applaud your self-sacrifice, and others who have done the same but if it was in the DNA then why are your siblings not there, do they not share the DNA? Clearly you felt obligation whereas others clearly saw choices. We are all different and life is complicated. We all only have the one shot at life. I too am in my 50s and my priority is to start thinking about having a life for myself and not one ruled by obligation.

 

Perhaps it is because you have at least been there and done it and I have not.

[grahamffc]

When they are 95 and still going strong a rethink is needed. We become too old to look after our parents :wink:

 

Apologies on reflection my post was a little insensitive. Many people move over to give their families better lives and as hard as leaving parents is shouldn't feel guilty