Aunt Agatha Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 In a way northshorepom that idea of not being likely to move after 20 years is a little of what's driving us to get on with the move now. I feel that if we don't make a move very soon we'll end up staying here by default rather than by design. Wattsy I like the change of seasons too. DH has been waxing lyrical about buying a wool coat for winter so you're not alone in your old man tendencies ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmab1995 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 We are heading back end of july ..hubby staying here and doing fifo which will be hard but hopefully only for 18mths (fingers crossed) ...... Our reasons like alot of people is family , friends , belonging ........ We have loved most of our time here and our 3 kids have at different times .... at first eldest wanted to go home he was 11 but soon settled ... he is now just turned 19 and he didnt want to go back to the uk at all , felt so guilty , but he flew back 3 wks ago and guess what he loves being back said he feels like he never left and said to be honest carnt see himself coming back to aus ... he said being by family is great , i am so pleased he feels like this ...... my other 2 are 16 and 13 ... 16 yr old has always said he would go back from the time we got here ( he was 8) he settled great lots of friends plays football but hes says uk is home .... 13yr old has said she is looking forward to going but she wil miss aus but she has lived here longer than she lived in uk so i can understand that ... And as for me n hubby well he has said there are things he will miss but i had cancer 2 yrs ago and it just made us both realise how far away we are and that nothing compares to being close to family .... so getting the cancer i suppose starting the ball rolling for us, everyone told me not to decide anything to soon after my treatment and i didnt but like people say when that pull starts pulling there is nothing worse ...we even went on a big family holiday last july in total there were 21 of us all my family from the uk and us , it was awesome and my hubby said at the time that the holiday would be the make or break for Aus ...... so at least we know we didnt rush we gave ourselves time and 18mths later we decided yes we are going home ..... O another plus if we stayed in Aus hubby would be 74 before we pay off our house :chatterbox: with going home and the money we save we would only have to get a mortage for 15yrs so he will be 60 big difference !!!!!! It not easy but like everyone says treat it as an adventure thats what life is all about and life is so short ..... xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Everyone on this post who is/has gone back has been here way longer than us but we arent going now, 18-24 months time. Its just we have realised already that long term we want to live near family in UK. Even our short time away so far has made us appreciate england and what we had ans the people around us...and that bodes for a much happier, positive left when we return. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Even our short time away so far has made us appreciate england and what we had ans the people around us...and that bodes for a much happier, positive left when we return. That's certainly my experience from being away before. I lived outside the UK from 1997-2001. Before I left in '97 I wasn't actively looking to go abroad but a good job came up. Like many Brits I was ambivalent about my home country, sometimes I used to moan about how things were done and assumed that elsewhere they were generally better. 4 years away made me see things in a different light. Everywhere else had problems too, and the old adage "no news is good news" also held sway; the media everywhere look for bad things to spark outrage/debate and it especially leads people I think into believing everything is on an inexorable downward trend. Being away made me realise that the media have that effect everywhere, and also gave me the distance/objectivity from the UK to realise that actually, in the UK I came back to plenty of things were better than they were from an earlier time. That perspective never wore off - I left the UK again 10 years later but in those 10 years, I never had any time for the "country's going to hell in a handcart" brigade, still don't and got no time for the local equivalent here either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alfies Mom Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 We have been here for a long eight years, my husband hasn't had a holiday in that time, we are both mentally and physically exhausted, we are looking forward to going home and start the next chapter in our lives, the only downside is leaving our daughter here, she has a great job and has just got engaged, this is going to be a tough one :sad: we will be leaving some time this year, we both can't wait to feel that sense of belonging again, there is so much we have missed, and after giving Australia our heart and soul in trying to make this work, sadly we have found that a new life down under isn't all it's cracked up to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 We have been here for a long eight years, my husband hasn't had a holiday in that time, we are both mentally and physically exhausted, we are looking forward to going home and start the next chapter in our lives, the only downside is leaving our daughter here, she has a great job and has just got engaged, this is going to be a tough one :sad: we will be leaving some time this year, we both can't wait to feel that sense of belonging again, there is so much we have missed, and after giving Australia our heart and soul in trying to make this work, sadly we have found that a new life down under isn't all it's cracked up to be! Sorry to hear this and I wish you luck in your next adventure. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. In your opinion, and Im happy for you its working out. We had no reason to leave UK other than curiosity. We both had great jobs, I worked from home so saw the kids all day everyday. Great friends, nice house, good social life, disposable income, nice cars. We just fancied a change. And no matter how long we stay here its been/will be a great experience for us and for our boys to see and do things most dont. Its more like a long holiday coming to an end for us as opposed to moving home after emigrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. Oh dear Jase, it really didn't work for you did it? moving back that is. You really have paid a high price - are you still on the other side of the world from your family? (That sounds like stupidity to me, sorry!) Many of us didn't leave UK because we disliked it just that Aus was another adventure and, for many, the big house and relaxed lifestyle wasn't an Aus reality either. For many of us the UK lifestyle knocks spots off what we had in Aus - sense of belonging, much better lifestyle, variety, nicer homes, better future for the kids etc There is no accounting for taste and you have to weigh up what is important yo you in this life - if it's people then you go where the people are. If it's stuff then you can enjoy yourself in splendid isolation with all your stuff around you and if that's what floats your boat that's OK there's no need for anyone to be pejorative about someone else's choice of priorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I haven't seen many nice homes on my trip back home. More like derelict properties. Give me somewhere that doesn't cost £300k and need constant maintenance and has no charm. I'm of course talking about the dreaded semi detached houses. Working many more hours up and down the UK motorways to pay off a huge mortgage doesn't sound like my idea of fun either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 I haven't seen many nice homes on my trip back home. More like derelict properties. Give me somewhere that doesn't cost £300k and need constant maintenance and has no charm. I'm of course talking about the dreaded semi detached houses. Working many more hours up and down the UK motorways to pay off a huge mortgage doesn't sound like my idea of fun either. But that was your life/area everyones is different. In the UK my wage alone covered everything, my wifes was disposable/savings. We had a new 4 bed detatched house, an audi and bmw, 3-4 family holidays an year to europe....but thought the grass was greener. IF and i say IF you can strike it right here yes you can have it good. My job here doesnt cover the billls, my wife HAS to work, which means childcare is needed, this is ridiculously expensive. We have a bigger house here (sq foot) but no where near as well built/nice as out UK one and its about 60% more per month than back home. Im not one of those people who think that aus is bad blah blah blah, all i can comment on is MY old life/new life. Glad Aus is all you wanted and has relieved you of what you disliked about the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garyupnorth Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. We Moved back to the UK for a better lifestyle, better career, closer to family, more diversity in my life rather than the generic Aussie lifestyle, better build quality of my house, to earn better money, living in a country with old buildings history and architecture and as I've been there seen it and done it, it wasn't for me although my family and I have the life experience if living down under. The journey down under isn't for everyone and for you going back may be stupid as you are enjoying it ATM in Oz, but for others it's a right decision to move back and experience another adventure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 We Moved back to the UK for a better lifestyle, better career, closer to family, more diversity in my life rather than the generic Aussie lifestyle, better build quality of my house, to earn better money, living in a country with old buildings history and architecture and as I've been there seen it and done it, it wasn't for me although my family and I have the life experience if living down under. The journey down under isn't for everyone and for you going back may be stupid as you are enjoying it ATM in Oz, but for others it's a right decision to move back and experience another adventure. How long have you been back garyupnorth? Was it easy to settle back in? Did you head back to same area etc? the only way we were ever going to know if Aus was for us was to try it....only so many 'wanted down unders' you can watch! ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Great thread and early in it northshorepom encapsulated perfectly (for me anyway) all the things that are great about the UK. The balanced views of those that have been there and done it (or indeed are still there) is great to read for aspiring emigrants like myself. MBTUK is really the best part of PIO and many of these posts should be required reading. Just wanted to say thanks to all for sharing these honest, heartfelt and thoughtful experiences and insights and wish all the best to all wherever life's adventure finds you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Great thread Just wanted to say thanks to all for sharing these honest, heartfelt and thoughtful experiences and insights and wish all the best to all wherever life's adventure finds you. Wasnt sure how it was going to go but thought it would prove some good reading for all concerned. Atleast those going back know what to expect. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCJ Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 We are going back this year, for no other reason except family. We came to Oz for family but they are all Ok and living happily and now we can be more use in the Uk so was heading there for the foreseeable future. Personally I will miss it here more than my partner but when it comes to family you do what it takes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Wasnt sure how it was going to go but thought it would prove some good reading for all concerned. Atleast those going back know what to expect. Dan I know what you mean. So many of these threads get hijacked by those with an agenda one way of the other resulting in the usual *** for tat exchanges. This one seemed to slip under the radar so a breath of fresh air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. How disrespectful of you Jasepom. We left the UK for a bit of an adventure and we've had that and are now happy to return, I cannot see how that is in any way stupid. Many people are returning to support family they love, again far from stupid. I believe you left your wife and kids in England in order to have a bigger house and a relaxed lifestyle? I can't imagine a universe where that would be a fair exchange for me and yet I don't call your decisions stupid. Perhaps you could show the same courtesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Perhaps in the interests of keeping this thread under the radar I shouldn't have responded to Jasepom's post but I felt it was very unfair to all those people who had taken the time to write thoughtful, personal posts about their experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sustain Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hi All, Just thought i'd post this questions to find out other peoples reasons, feelings, decision process, doubts and general experiences when it comes to moving back thinking about moving back. What triggered it, how long did you dwell on it or wait to act and pack up? Not being nosy, just curious about other situations. Feel free to reply and share this. Thanks Dan We came with a set time frame in mind but never an intention to reside permanently. Enjoyed the time we had and still have a few years before we depart. Our specific time frame was for the primary/secondary education but returning for the girls tertiary. Work wise Australia has been a real back water, but rather than complain its opened a number of opportunities I have capitalised on. Guess people need to focus more on the journey rather than look for a definite end destination to resolve all life's problems. Rather than criticise peoples decisions how often do you support them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheswick Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hello...been here 20yrs or so...going back in May...came here for an adventure with some mates...all 3 of us have been here for 20 odd years...a new adventure awaits back closer to my family...I,ve had a good time here and met some weird and wonderful people...I`ve learnt a lot...kept in touch with the UK and travelled back many times...due to certain circumstances I feel the time is right to reconnect with "home"..so much to look forward to...I`ll miss this big ass country but,its not a dress rehersal so onward and upward... There are a lot of really interesting threads on this site...I wish you luck with all your decisions...just remember theres no right or wrong moves really its subjective...cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheswick Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hi Dan Not gone back but probably will at some point. I'm really posting because I see from other threads you're from BSE, or thereabouts. We lived in Clare for 5 years before coming out here, fantastic area. Anyway, going back? For me, I'd like to do it at some point in the next 3-6 years because of a sense of belonging more than anything else. Nothing wrong with Australia from my PoV, in fact I really enjoy Sydney, have a good job and good forward career opportunities, we've just bought a house to put down some roots (loathe the limbo-life and putting up with tosspot agents that is renting), we have made some really good friends, I get a short commute by bike that keeps me fit, happy and healthy and means I see my family every evening, son is in a great school, happy and doing well (daughter too young to have an opinion ;-), we like the climate.......but it's still not home, and that is the biggest thing for me. I never expected it to be "home" in that respect, that's not what we came here for, we weren't "emigrating" but just coming for an open-ended adventure that would be nice to try for a bit, and that's how it's working out. I've lived & worked abroad before and to some extent came with my eyes open as a result. Wherever I've lived, I will always miss some things that I love about the UK - London's buzz, energy, dirt, creativity, industry and internationalism; country towns with heart and soul; the particular green that comes from oak, ash, hazel, field maple, grass (hedgerows in Suffolk in May bursting with cowslips and cow parsley); cosy pubs with nutty beer; the human scale of a country you can traverse in less than a day; long summer evenings; proximity to so many great places to visit and holiday in Europe; a feeling of connection with national and international events; ordnance survey maps. One thing I definitely found when I lived away before is that it changes your attitude to the UK, and for me this has lasted for ever All that^ above doesn't mean we regret coming here for a minute, it was the right choice at the time and we like our life here, but fully intend to go back at some point and enjoy life there too. When, how, and where depends on a lot of factors like economy/employment propsects in both countries, family illness/bereavement (our parents aren't young and obv aren't getting younger) and educational opportunities for our kids. One thing I would say (based on my experience from living abroad before) is that you need to think about whether you are going "back" as in back to your old life, or back as in going back to the UK to start another new life. Caramac has already touched on it in this thread. Some people can slot straight back in where they left, especially if they've not been away that long, others can't, and the longer you've been away the harder it is. I was away before for 4 years and found I couldn't slot back in; other peoples' lives had moved on, my horizons as to where I would feel happy had changed, I'd got older and some of the stuff I was doing before (like playing rugby) were things I couldn't just pick back up, I'd missed out on cultural developments and changes - even really prosaic stuff like TV shows that were the "big thing" whilst away that I'd missed. It's only small stuff but it adds up. I think some people can be very disappointed (perhaps this is the source of so much ping-ponging) if they go back expecting to just pick up where they left off. It needs a bit more thought than that, and you need to be prepared to be a bit disorientated for a bit in the way you were when you first came to Aus. For us, that particular aspect is one of the things that to some extent keeps us here. Marriage always involves compromises, many of the places I loved living in the UK (Sheffield, South Wales) the wife can't stand, others (Cambridge) are too much "my place", others (Suffolk) are too quiet for her. And on the flipside, the places she loves (South Bucks, Herts) I dislike. Ultimately I'll always need to work in London, so wherever/whenever we go back we either need a lottery win or a massive job, and/or put up with more commuting and so less family time. And some of the things I really miss about home, like shooting off for the weekend to go camping, climbing and hiking, are things I don't really do because they're not her bag and if I'm honest, I could do them here but don't because family life comes first. At the moment my first priority is providing for my family (not just financially) and that's best done here for now. Things can always change though. The important thing is to keep positive, and keep an open mind I think Good luck :-) Well done that man...great message...all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 It is good that this thread has remained positive and very interesting. Goes to show we are all different - and isn't that a good thing? I admire those returning after many years-it takes some guts I think. Mind you, it takes guts to come here in the first place- we are all pretty brave, aren't we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 One word for going back - stupidity. I mean if you left UK In the chest place there must have been good reasons. A bigger house and more relaxed lifestyle come to mind for me. Some people prefer the lifestyle and beauty of the UK compared to material things...get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byrned Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Here 8 years going back next yr. Miss my country, family and friends the buzz of the cities in uk and being so close to everything. The feeling of isolation in this country and sometimes I have felt suffocated due to it being so expensive flights . May buy a small holiday home in Spain if I start missing the sun and outdoor lifestyle especially in the English winters a 2hr flight beats a 24 hr one. Australia has become very expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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