beanbear Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 We are moving to the UK in July after six and a half years in Oz. We have achieved a lot in that time and have citizenship, a nice home etc and 2 kids in a good state school. However due to family illness (fortunately looking good in treatment, but a real wake up call nonetheless), and a sense of belonging more to England we are returning. Perhaps it's the long build up that makes us so anxious, perhaps it's the fear of uprooting our family etc but wondering whether it's madness?! to paint a slightly fuller picture my OH is just finishing a masters and is currently not working and I have had my hours cut, so things are tight right now, but that is hopefully only temporary. We do not have jobs to go back to - OH about to start applying, but must go back before next school year starts in England as the kids are at a crucial stage, where if the older one doesn't clock up 3 years in Uk system we'd have to pay international fees for uni there. aahhh we are spending every weekend working on the house to get all the jobs done before selling and it is just hard. thanks for listening, comments, advice welcomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinsmom65 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Just wanted to wish you well on your move back. Good luck on the sale of the house. Lots of peeps on here who are either returning or have already returned. Feel free to ask away if you need help. Cheers Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Good luck to you! I go in and out of having anxiety but I think that is normal, I leave in 2 weeks ahhhhh!!! :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You're mad!!! Don't put yourself through all the stress, it's not worth it. Why would you want to go back for ??? You have a nice home and jobs etc ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Oh and before people jump on me for saying don't do it, if you're health is fragile at the moment, you are going to put yourself through a lot of stress moving back to England. Also there is always the chance that you won't settle back there, be warned. If you have doubts now, listen to them. If you are 100% happy with your decision then ok go for it. As long as you have thought it through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Go for it! People first, places second. Think of it as an adventure and nothing is forever so if it doesn't work out then you do something different. Anxiety is perfectly normal - heck, even I have anxious days. You can only make the best decision you can based on the information you have today. Good luck with the next step in your life adventure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Jasepom,with all due respect,we all know you love the death out of Australia,but give these people some respect.I am totally sure they have thought through every scenario,and without sounding like a broken record,they are making the best decision for themselves,with the knowledge,and feelings they have at this particular time in their lives,so whatever happens,its the right decision for THIS time!As you are fully aware,Australia does'nt suit everyone,and neither does the UK,but ultimately you end up where YOU think you will be happiest! To the OP,had you of said you were returning (and please excuse me if I am wrong incase I am reading your thread the wrong way)just because someone in your family is ill,I would say hats off to you for being so kind ect,but as you have stated you have more of a belonging in the UK as well,then as I have just said to Jasepom,know in your hearts that at this time the decision is right for you and I wish you all the best for a happier future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 We are in a similar situation but with an even longer lead time (moving in Jan 2015) and I feel like you do. Some days I just cannot wait to get back and some days I feel anxious that it's the wrong decision. It's only natural after making a good life in another country, your heart is in two places. It's about people for me which has made it hard as our families are in England but my best friends are in Aus. A good friend here asked me: if you could move all your UK family and friends to Oz, or all your Aussie friends to the UK, which would you choose? I had to think about it but my answer was to take all my Aussie friends to the UK. I can't do that sadly but it made me see which country truly had my heart. What would your answer be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheswick Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Hello,its very understandable to be anxious...its a big move...you do have the option of returning in the future if it doesn`t work out..things are picking up in the UK economically so work shouldn`t be a problem..i`m returning after 20 yrs in oz and I`d be lying if I said I haven`t had a few doubts but,as other people have written..its all about how you feel and the people who you care about..so good luck and all the best,cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 It is understandable to be nervous. The job market is definitely picking up. It is vibrant in our part of the UK. If I were you though my biggest worry would be finding schools for 3 children. The best schools are heavily subscribed and there are no guarantees of getting all the kids in schools in the same vicinity making school runs challenging. I am sure that you have looked into all this though and have friends giving you advice for your own area as I'm sure experiences vary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanbear Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 Thanks for taking the time to be so reassuring. I know there are lots of you going through similar angst and I appreciate the wise words. I thought that was an interesting perspective about which country you'd have your family and friends with you in. That's actually a hard one. There is lots to love about Australia and its people and we have had a great time here. For us the pull is of several things: family and friends and being able to go to their parties and weddings and summer get togethers; history and culture (I'm definitely not discounting the Aboriginal history of Australia but the history and culture in Europe is a bit more immediately accessible,); things to do - OH and I would be happy with the beach and wineries LOL but our 2 teenagers do struggle at times and we certainly struggle for family days out as each city is soooo far from the next one and Adelaide is pretty quiet most of the year when you're a Londoner; proximity to other cultures (we have only holidayed in Oz apart from one trip back to Europe, which we're still paying off! When it comes down to it I think we'd stay if we had enough money to go back to Europe every year, but we don't and we're too cut off here. I also really miss lots of silly British things (shallow stuff like shops and supermarkets) but radio, TV and newspapers and my husband misses football and the chance to share that with his kids. The school thing is a worry. My two will both be in secondary and we know which one we want, but currently it is oversubscribed. Having said that as a teacher I know a few tricks and we are moving to an area where we have family, so hopefully we'll sort out this hiccup. Hope you're right about the job market. I wonder whether it will be possible to be seriously considered for jobs (and possibly interviewed) from here. Does anyone have experience of this? Thanks again to all who replied, it made my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bell123321 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You have to do right by your family and everybody's family are different and what suits one may not suit another. You can only do what is best for you and I understand with the school thing (International fees if not done 3 years prior) would be a major factor in your decision. Dependent on what jobs your be looking for in the UK you may be able to get Skype interviews prior to arrival. Will you be staying with family to start with in the UK? Whatever happens I hope everything works out for the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You have to do what you feel deep down is right for you. Yes, I think you are mad,personally but I'm not you and if you don't go I suspect the pressure to leave will build up for you whether or not it is a rational thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Pitstop Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 After over 4 years in Adelaide we are constantly tempted to go back to England as things haven't worked out as we had hoped here in Australia (and my husband is an Adelaide born and bred Australian!). Some days I think we have to stay and make good and keep plugging away at it, other days I don't have the energy and just want to go home. We visited England last June/July and it was so good. Don't lose track of all thing little things that make life special in the UK. I barely thought about our lives in Australia whilst we were there, it was as if the last 4 years had never happened. I could easily turn my back on it. The only thing that keeps us here is that we don't want to uproot our kids (although one has never liked it here), we both have jobs at the moment and we don't want to risk moving back and finding ourselves unemployed. It won't be easy moving back, it will be a big adjustment - but hopefully you will be so happy and relieved to be in the right place it won't be too hard. Good luck and well done for having the guts to do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 For anyone thinking of moving back I'd say start applying for the jobs you would "kill" to get! There are quite a few returnees who have managed to land jobs before they've arrived and having a bird in the hand is a bonus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Without sounding pro Australian Melza, to move country in this economic climate, and reading between the lines, the poster doesn't seem too sure about it anyway, is IMHO foolhardy. If you have a job and house etc waiting for you at the other end then that is another matter, but please don't criticise me for pointing out the obvious. Moving country is costly and expensive and many people end up regretting it. The grass isn't always greener. As far as education is concerned schooling in Australia is just fine and the universities are very good. Also the poster says the kids are at a critical stage in their education! So why move them back to England to me it just doesn't make any sense. Have they even been consulted I wonder ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Without sounding pro Australian Melza, to move country in this economic climate, and reading between the lines, the poster doesn't seem too sure about it anyway, is IMHO foolhardy. If you have a job and house etc waiting for you at the other end then that is another matter, but please don't criticise me for pointing out the obvious. Moving country is costly and expensive and many people end up regretting it. The grass isn't always greener. As far as education is concerned schooling in Australia is just fine and the universities are very good. Also the poster says the kids are at a critical stage in their education! So why move them back to England to me it just doesn't make any sense. Have they even been consulted I wonder ??? Did you consult your own children before leaving them in the UK whilst you returned to Australia alone? Sorry for the personal dig, but I don't think you're in a position to call anyone else foolhardy. Yes many people do regret moving but at least they KNOW. They often have far more regrets if they do nothing and their lives slip by in a place they don't feel they belong. Staying put can also be costly and expensive from both a financial point of view and from emotional/stress aspects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 But it is costly in terms of time and energy out into building a life somewhere. Your life can slip by anywhere if you let it, you have to fill your time with things to do and spend it wisely. Sounds like hell the poster has a pretty good life here and maybe they should think about what they stand to lose by going back. On the good old days the poms came out here and made it work. They never had the option of going back, I think that's the problem these days, poms don't know when they are well off ? I read a post the other day about a guy thinking of going back to UK when when he was earning 200k here. If that's not madness I don't know what is. Sometimes I think people need counselling before they lose everything through stupidity. And I've done it so I know what I'm taking about !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 But it is costly in terms of time and energy out into building a life somewhere. Your life can slip by anywhere if you let it, you have to fill your time with things to do and spend it wisely. Sounds like hell the poster has a pretty good life here and maybe they should think about what they stand to lose by going back. On the good old days the poms came out here and made it work. They never had the option of going back, I think that's the problem these days, poms don't know when they are well off ? I read a post the other day about a guy thinking of going back to UK when when he was earning 200k here. If that's not madness I don't know what is. Sometimes I think people need counselling before they lose everything through stupidity. And I've done it so I know what I'm taking about !!! I've done it too, we've moved internationally 4 times now. Everyone's situation is different. And money isn't everything. Indeed if you have had the opportunity to earn a lot here and have saved wisely, that money can be used elsewhere and people could be happy earning that for a few years and then taking a pay cut if they know they're going to be happier elsewhere. We are earning $280k between us and would happily move back and earn GBP60k between us if we could move to the area that we want to. That's because we've used our salaries here wisely and not squandered it all buying unnecessary things, instead we've saved and saved and just about paid our UK mortgage off. Do you feel like you're well off at the moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Jasepom while I agree that it is expensive and also emotionally draining to move abroad (and I admit I feel stressed about our impending move), I think you're confusing wealth with success. While financial security is important, earning a six figure sum isn't the be all and end all. Success to me is evidenced by happy children, a good marriage, time to indulge in the things that interest me, travel and great times with friends and family. If moving to another country could enhance those things, how could it possibly be madness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I've done it too, we've moved internationally 4 times now. Everyone's situation is different.And money isn't everything. Indeed if you have had the opportunity to earn a lot here and have saved wisely, that money can be used elsewhere and people could be happy earning that for a few years and then taking a pay cut if they know they're going to be happier elsewhere. We are earning $280k between us and would happily move back and earn GBP60k between us if we could move to the area that we want to. That's because we've used our salaries here wisely and not squandered it all buying unnecessary things, instead we've saved and saved and just about paid our UK mortgage off. Do you feel like you're well off at the moment? So you're earning $280k between you and you say money isn't everything. Do you honestly believe that? Try living in a boarding house or on the street then come back with a sensible reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 So you're earning $280k between you and you say money isn't everything. Do you honestly believe that? Try living in a boarding house or on the street then come back with a sensible reply. I just can't be bothered..... Life's too short to try and argue with you jasepom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PNE POM Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 We are in a similar situation but with an even longer lead time (moving in Jan 2015) and I feel like you do. Some days I just cannot wait to get back and some days I feel anxious that it's the wrong decision. It's only natural after making a good life in another country, your heart is in two places. It's about people for me which has made it hard as our families are in England but my best friends are in Aus. A good friend here asked me: if you could move all your UK family and friends to Oz, or all your Aussie friends to the UK, which would you choose? I had to think about it but my answer was to take all my Aussie friends to the UK. I can't do that sadly but it made me see which country truly had my heart. What would your answer be? That's a great way to look at it AA, I decided to go home the same way, friends an family in UK vs Friends in OZ only one way I could go really. Infact I have a Real Estate agent around my house on Friday to get the ball rolling to sell the house (thanks to advise given by newjez on this forum). Roll on 2015 an a new start :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 It sounds like you have plenty of good valid reasons for coming back and as you have Oz citizenship Australia will always be there for you and/or any of your children in the future which is the best of both worlds really. There will always be risks and wobbles with jobs and schools and I suspect that you had to deal with those when making the trip in the first place but he who dares wins. I notice that you said you are a Londoner. Note that property in the south east is much more costly than it was 7 years ago though in other parts of the country it has barely changed. I am sure you have researched that though. Good luck with the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 After over 4 years in Adelaide we are constantly tempted to go back to England as things haven't worked out as we had hoped here in Australia (and my husband is an Adelaide born and bred Australian!). Some days I think we have to stay and make good and keep plugging away at it, other days I don't have the energy and just want to go home. We visited England last June/July and it was so good. Don't lose track of all thing little things that make life special in the UK. I barely thought about our lives in Australia whilst we were there, it was as if the last 4 years had never happened. I could easily turn my back on it. The only thing that keeps us here is that we don't want to uproot our kids (although one has never liked it here), we both have jobs at the moment and we don't want to risk moving back and finding ourselves unemployed. It won't be easy moving back, it will be a big adjustment - but hopefully you will be so happy and relieved to be in the right place it won't be too hard. Good luck and well done for having the guts to do it! If living in England last June/July was typical I wouldn't contemplate ever leaving. A beautiful summer. Rewind to June/July 2012 and the temperatures barely exceeded double digits most days with endless days of drizzly rain. When you have come out of the dank, dark long winter that is pretty depressing I can tell you. I know that returnees have lived in England before but it is easy to forget I think how miserable the climate often is here. I have lived here all my life but every year in March I get full of expectation for all the things I am going to do in the summer and most years it is a let down. Then when you get a nice weekend you have a backlog of jobs in the garden or cleaning the car etc. if you take a trip millions of others are heading the same way. Most people in UK are just plugging away too. Always a good idea to bear in mind why you left UK in the first place as well as reflecting on the things that you miss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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