Guest Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 take it, see what happens and if it doesn't work out just leave. At least you gave it a go and wont wonder about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I think you need to go back especially as you couldn't afford to feed the children on both of your wages combined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 It's simply not possible .... he had the best nights sleep in 5 years the night he told me - dumped it on my shoulders, the whole thing is beyond unsavoury, taking advantage of vulnerable young girls - legal but even so dispicable behaviour that no woman would be able to move on from, you'll have to take my word for it. I have three daughter who have friends to think of. Hi PP. he sounds completely unreliable so I think I would be very reluctant to make any decisions based on his promises. On a 457 you won't be entitled to any government help so you would be taking a risk. How old are your children? If you return to the UK would you have somewhere to live? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I think i would come back to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 The information you have provided about yourself on other threads suggests you have struggled to settle in circumstances I think most people would have flourished. Based on that I have to agree with the others who have suggested you should return to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I think you need professional legal advice before you do anything. There are a mass of legal minefields here. As for the personal side, you have done something pretty incredible. Moved around the world. You can achieve anything I know a number of single parents in the UK, and I am sure there are as many in Oz, who not only survive, but thrive. I was a single dad for many years. Which country, is, I think only one you can come up with. But, and this is completely independent of what I think of Oz, I would go with where you are going to get some support. Even if it is small. I don't think you can bank on any support either financial or with caring from the children from their father. I understand you wanting him to be involved. But, that is his decision. If he wants to, he will. But, sadly, I won't hold my breath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docboat Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I would be in favour of increasing options and maximising freedom. Make the choices you need to based - for the moment at least - on ensuring that you have the best options for the future. Your support network in both countries is meagre, so that will be less of a consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 Thank you we won't have anywhere to live as I refuse to return to the area we left from - the scene of the crime. And my mum who I think would reluctantly put us up is 200 miles away. i should get a decent tax refund from oz and am owed a bit from the uk so hopefully I can scrape together a deposit for a nice house - something I can't afford here and get the kids into good schools so they settle down again quickly and I can then regroup. i know for a fact I will thrive and he will flounder I've had him crying literally on me about everything falling part, the whole time knowing he got sacked for using company Internet and time to chat up some teen whilst I worked for the same company. i just wish I hadn't picked such a **** for a father of my darling children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Have you got any other family or friends you could stay with in the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 If he loves his kids he probably won't want you to leave- the fact that he will contribute anything at all to their upkeep suggests he does. Many fathers won't pay a brass razoo towards their children's upkeep and dodge and weave their way round paying. Personally I wouldn't want to take my kids away from their father however much I disliked him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 It's not always that simple is it though starlight. He could of course come to the uk, but that doesn't suit him so **** us we have to dance to his tune? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 It's not always that simple is it though starlight. He could of course come to the uk, but that doesn't suit him so **** us we have to dance to his tune? If the visa is in your name, then he will have no choice unless he manages to apply for a visa in his own right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Visas totally confuse me but i thought if one person lost the job on the 457 visa then the whole lot had to go. So that means if you dont take your new job then he has to leave too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 He can stay illegally for at least six months because of the backlog ..... I'm sure he'll get something sorted and to hell with his family eh ? this is where the dilemma lies do I screw him before he screws me sort of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Whats he going to do financially though if hes unemployed at the moment? When they check his visa status would it not say anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 He can stay illegally for at least six months because of the backlog ..... I'm sure he'll get something sorted and to hell with his family eh ?this is where the dilemma lies do I screw him before he screws me sort of No he can't. If he is illegal then he is illegal. He will get a three year ban and not be able to stay. If you leave your job then he will have 28 days from the time immigration write to tell you your visa is being cancelled. That is not taking six months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 I left my job in January and they haven't written to me, that nearly six months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I don't think you should waste your time going over the past - it's done and the possibilities are that it could happen again. You moved to Aus not because you wanted to but for your husband and I'm guessing even if you didn't know about the affairs there might have been an element of 2nd chances or a feeling of putting something right that felt a little wrong. You need to ask yourself - where are you and the children going to be happiest and feel most secure. You've not really enjoyed Perth - you may be able to see that differently outside the confines of an unhappy marriage - or perhaps your future lies back in the UK. Do what you think is best for you and the children if your husband has no opposition to your returning to the UK and that's the option that seems best for you - then take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I left my job in January and they haven't written to me, that nearly six months. Did you tell them you left? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I left my job in January and they haven't written to me, that nearly six months. Also, if you left that long ago it is likely to be any day surely, so how would he have another six months? He is on your visa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Well yes that is true, so he either needs to sort out PR, sponsorship etc. That said a friend of our just sacked a girl for stealing from him and has been trying to get her thrown, DIAC say they have a six month backlog so nothing they can do for now. Your story is not adding up. In this post you mention knowing about the six months because of a friend, but now you say you have been waiting six months. Which one is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 If neither of you have valid visas at the moment, this is a major issue. It doesn't only have implications for the present, but can impact future visas and not just in Oz. You can be barred from even tourist visas in third countries. I would urge you to sort this out ASAP. Get immediate advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 I left my job in January haven't worked since .... Have an offer on the table. He informed DIAC of the situation as at the time he was getting ENS and do they were fine with that. That has gone now because he was let go by that employer and they canceled the nomination. Currently neither of us I guess have a visa but if I take the job they will take over the 457 which I'm sure will be fine and if its not then that's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Your story is not adding up. In this post you mention knowing about the six months because of a friend, but now you say you have been waiting six months. Which one is it? She changes her story more often than you would change your socks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candygirl Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Sorry to hear what you have been though PP :hug: and also sorry to say but your OH sounds a complete selfish Sh*t. What changed that he needed to tell you these things the other side of the world and felt he could not tell you before you left the UK? What a great father figure! If you are not happy in Aus, then I would go back to the UK. If you are really unsure as to what to do, would you consider taking the job offer for a limited time to give you some space to really think about what is the best thing for you and your kids? Are your kids happy in Oz? I know that you moved there for your husband (being honest, not a good decision, but what is done is done) but have your lives improved in anyway at all by living there? At least if you did move back to the UK, you would have family and friends for support and/or social care/support/tax credits in the UK until you found your feet again. No matter what you decide I would make the decision based on what you and your kids want and tell your OH how things will be and what you expect of him. I am sure you will make the right decision and wish you the best of luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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