Never under estimate the pull back

[PityTheFool]

I haven't had a chance to read all of the responces to this thread so I apologise if this has been mentioned but I haven't seen anyone question why you made the move in the first place!

 

You clearly underestimated your support network which means that the whole time you were in the UK you took your nearest and dearest for granted.

 

I don't want to come across as having a go as I know your post is aimed at helping others who are considering the move, but having said that I do find it annoying when people in life don't appreciate what they have got - not everyone is as lucky as you and maybe now you will appreciate that!

 

We had a good life and a good house. The house was paid for and we had no worries with money. We had a few close friends, not loads, but enough. Family were close and the kids could see their grandparents in person. The kids were in good schools and there was money for the things that we needed/wanted. Oh yes and we could go to the doctors/hospital and not have to worry about private medical insurance or if it will be covered. On the whole, things were good for us, not super star great, but enough for us.

 

[Guest chris955]

As far I am aware noone in this thread or any other has said that you cannot have a better life in Australia, noone has said it cant be better for kids. The only thing many are saying is that it isnt automatic, its not guaranteed and some even find the opposite. Im not really sure why this upsets some people but it does and I cant help that.

[Guest]

Why are you living in Australia then? I am just wondering as I have not seen many of your posts and I don't know if there is some obvious reason that I have not read. It must have been something pretty strong to make you give up a life you were happy with for one which makes you miserable. Was it love/relationship?

 

 

Yep. The other "old Chestnut" - an Australian partner who was homesick. It would have been pretty rotten of me to have prevented her from coming back here, after 6 years in London. There's a lot of mixed marriages on PIO I guess, and there's posters like Wakeboard who are doing the same, but in reverse if you like.

[Guest scrumpy]

I think the only question that need to be asked is:

Are there any chestnuts in Ozy? I dont mind if they are old or new, but gotta have them at xmas!

[Acidglitter]

Recently we have come to the realisation that what we had in the UK was not as bad as what we may have originally thought it was. We had a good life and a good house. The house was paid for and we had no worries with money. We had a few close friends, not loads, but enough. Family were close and the kids could see their grandparents in person. The kids were in good schools and there was money for the things that we needed/wanted. Oh yes and we could go to the doctors/hospital and not have to worry about private medical insurance or if it will be covered. On the whole, things were good for us, not super star great, but enough for us.

 

We decided to give Australia a go in the hope of a better life for us all, but mainly for the kids. Looking back on it, this was something that we needed to do at the time and we are glad that we have. No matter what happens, we can look back on it and say we gave it a go. We will also get the paperwork for the kids, so they can go where they want later on in life. So there are no regrets at all. It is only recently that we have started to feel a pull back to the UK. Parents are always asking the kids when they are coming back to visit and for us the thought of another warm Christmas in Oz, is not the one we want or are used to. For us (and this will not be the case for everyone) but Christmas should be cold, wrapping up to keep warm and feeling snug. So we are always thinking about ways to travel back on holiday.

 

Recently we have looked at moving and that is when you realise how on your own we are. For example, in the UK the grandparents would look after the kids on the day of the move and two mates would come around, one with a van to move things and help. Here we looked at it and there is literally no one to help at all. Little things like this put pressure on you and you then realise that there is a bit of a pull back to the UK.

 

Parents are not getting younger either and the more time spent out here means less time that can be spent with them, in what if we are realistic, is their later years. We are starting to think that possibly we would like to spend the time we/they have left with them, so we can pop around on a Saturday night, rather than just talking on the end of Skype or a phone. We do not want to be in the position later down the line where we say we wish we had of spent what time we had left with them before it was too late, rather than losing the chance.

 

On the whole, we have come to the realisation that there are lots of little things that act to pull you back. These things we totally overlooked back in the UK when we were making the decisions to come over here. If you have any doubts, please make sure you think of the little things too. It may not stop you from coming out here, but you will be aware of them rather than looking at the big things that you may miss.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience, i have found it helpful as we are in the process of emigrating and already (despite having my family/friends full support) i am beginning to wonder how i am actually going to feel once i have emigrated and leaving my parents behind who may well need me more in the years to come...I'm sure most people can identify with the things you have written and for those of us about to emigrate it's good to hear an honest account of someone's motives for wanting to return to the UK.

Good luck with your future whether it be in Oz or the UK, i'm sure you will follow your instinct.

[Phil & Vikki]

I haven't had a chance to read all of the responces to this thread so I apologise if this has been mentioned but I haven't seen anyone question why you made the move in the first place!

 

You clearly underestimated your support network which means that the whole time you were in the UK you took your nearest and dearest for granted.

 

I don't want to come across as having a go as I know your post is aimed at helping others who are considering the move, but having said that I do find it annoying when people in life don't appreciate what they have got - not everyone is as lucky as you and maybe now you will appreciate that!

 

This is a very good point, and we have not taken offence to it. However, this is a question for another post or a personal reply. We intentionally did not want to make this post about 'us' or say you should or should not do it. We just wanted to make it informative and something for others to consider as it often is overlooked. In the intention of helping others make the right decision.

 

We did say there is no regrets and we are glad that we did it.At the end of the day we had a go and no matter what we decide to do, we can look back and say we gave it a go.

[Kimorjack]

Thanks for sharing your experience, i have found it helpful as we are in the process of emigrating and already (despite having my family/friends full support) i am beginning to wonder how i am actually going to feel once i have emigrated and leaving my parents behind who may well need me more in the years to come...I'm sure most people can identify with the things you have written and for those of us about to emigrate it's good to hear an honest account of someone's motives for wanting to return to the UK.

Good luck with your future whether it be in Oz or the UK, i'm sure you will follow your instinct.

 

I too have found this thread useful, we are moving out to Oz end of November and I know the pull for me is going to be huge from day 1. I have a very big family who are also my friends and leaving my 21 year old daughter, grandson and mum is going to be heart breaking. I don't take for granted the support I have here, I know I'm very lucky and I know how hard this is going to be (or at least I think I do).

 

As with Phil and Vicki, this is something we want/have to do. We will never know if this will give us the 'better life' we think it will if we don't try it. Apart from family, we don't enjoy being in the UK, most would say we have a good life and do quite a lot of outdoor activity (when weather allows), but for us, we spend far too much time sitting in doors as myself and 9 year old don't like the wet and cold. I feel that life is being wasted with every weekend that passes and we've not gone walking, bike riding, caravanning etc. I want my son to enjoy the outdoors more, as he also hates being stuck in. The slower pace of Oz life and the climate will hopefully allow us to live our weeknights/weekends and outweigh the pull of family. For years now, we feel like we live to work, we now want to work to live.

 

 

 

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[GlobeTrotta]

KIMORJACK said "The slower pace of Oz life and the climate will hopefully allow us to live our weeknights/weekends and outweigh the pull of family. For years now, we feel like we live to work, we now want to work to live."

 

Don't count on slower pace of life that's always a misnomer in my experience....although Adelaide is slower than anywhere I have lived; it will depend where you go. As for being outside, I too love trekking, walking etc. Did Milford trek in NZ since I have not found anywhere here cool enough to trek almost 7 months of post 30c to give you an example...I'd rather trek in torrential rain, there are few and far between times here what with summer blisteringly hot that one can enjoy a leisurely stroll of 10k without a series of flies up your nose, being eaten to death by mossies and searing heat, but I wish you well in finding that eternal enjoyment of life.

 

 

 

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[northshorepom]

To be fair, the Milford track in NZ is pretty bad when it comes to irritating insects.....!

[Thepom]

I moved over to Brisbane when I was six. We moved in search of a better life for me and my brother and now I'm in uni and my brother isn't far off finishing school we are all starting to consider the move back home. The one thing I can say is that if you are going to move to any other country, embrace it as much as possible. Our house might as well have been in England, we watched the soaps, listened to the radio and despised the beach and sun. After over 12 years here and even after having moved at an age where I have basically nil memories of my home I still feel a very strong pull back (as does my brother who was only 4) and are clinging onto our accents as much as possible. But having to face such a big decision at such a young age is really difficult and everyday is an emtional rollercoaster at the minute. So just make sure it really is the right decision for you and your kids in the long-term (don't get drawn in by TV fantasies), in hindsight we feel the harsher upbringing in England would have been better for us all than the 'care-free' lifestyle over here.

[Rupert]

I have always been very wary of the "better life" reason for moving. Of all the reasons for moving, this is the worst one, IMHO, it is the red flag to me. I think moving for an adventure or just to experience living in another part of the world, is a far, far sounder basis for moving. I am very unfortunate in that I do not have a close family, it makes a good migrant of me though.

[newjez]

Sandflies - horrible things. Watched a woman's ankles blow up like an inner tube. The little buggers hover over you until they find a spot where you missed with the insect spray.

 

As a previous poster said - it's funny how the UK can pull you back when you have no memories of it. I always felt a bit English. But it was quickly apparent when I arrived in the UK that I wasn't. I don't have that history, that upbringing. Even now, after living in the UK for many years, someone will say something to me and I'll just go blank, as it means nothing. I'll have to politely remind them that I'm not English, and I haven't got a clue what they are talking about.

 

To be fair, the Milford track in NZ is pretty bad when it comes to irritating insects.....!

[traceyandedd]

"It does surprise me also, how many people emigrate and yet have never visited a place in advance (as was the case with the couple above), so have no idea about the cost of living, the price of housing or even how much a litre of milk costs. If you are planning to move to the other side of the world, so far from everything and everyone you know, surely it would be a good idea to go and have a look at it first and find out whether or not you can actually afford the cost of living there?"

 

Good comment! We came out here without doing a Recci first & I can honestly say I don't think I would have come back(for many reasons)....but what i would say is that your vision whilst on holiday is completely different to actually living in the reality of it all and the important thing may be overshadowed by this. We are a family of 5 and the cost of a Recci a posed to using that money to come out here and getting started, I do now wish I had done the Recci.......we have only been here since June and for us it has made us realise how important ageing grandparents and family are important in our children's lives, and what we had wasn't all that bad! It's a lovely post by the OP and a very realistic one for many of us. I would never say don't do it and honestly believe if you have an itch scratch it. You can do as much research as u like but nothing will prepare you for the emotional feeling you go through, throughout you journey.....

[jasepom]

I believe in the old saying "If it aint broke don't fix it" whether you live in Australia or UK. If you happen to have a nice comfortable life wherever you are then maybe moving across the world is too risky.

[bunbury61]

Do you think its a good idea to have your parents move to australia to be closer to you if you are not 100% certain that you will stay?

Tell me to mind my own business if you like..

that should have been what happened with us simmo , but mom wasn't having it , and in hindsight she was right .

I have seen the gloss wear off , and the novelty of having "nanny " or " granddad " living in oz with people soon become a burden .

My elderly uncle and aunt waved goodbye to the U.K , with the line " We are off , Britain is finished " ......they came back after 18 months , it didn't work out .

A lot of promises were made that didn't materialise

Iam certainly not saying that it is everyones experience , but I have seen it more than once

[bunbury61]

I moved over to Brisbane when I was six. We moved in search of a better life for me and my brother and now I'm in uni and my brother isn't far off finishing school we are all starting to consider the move back home. The one thing I can say is that if you are going to move to any other country, embrace it as much as possible. Our house might as well have been in England, we watched the soaps, listened to the radio and despised the beach and sun. After over 12 years here and even after having moved at an age where I have basically nil memories of my home I still feel a very strong pull back (as does my brother who was only 4) and are clinging onto our accents as much as possible. But having to face such a big decision at such a young age is really difficult and everyday is an emtional rollercoaster at the minute. So just make sure it really is the right decision for you and your kids in the long-term (don't get drawn in by TV fantasies), in hindsight we feel the harsher upbringing in England would have been better for us all than the 'care-free' lifestyle over here.

 

just don't expect too much ....its a hard school over here .....on the plus side ,even if use the u.k for its geographic position alone, as a base , it will be worth it .

[bunbury61]

Recently we have come to the realisation that what we had in the UK was not as bad as what we may have originally thought it was. We had a good life and a good house. The house was paid for and we had no worries with money. We had a few close friends, not loads, but enough. Family were close and the kids could see their grandparents in person. The kids were in good schools and there was money for the things that we needed/wanted. Oh yes and we could go to the doctors/hospital and not have to worry about private medical insurance or if it will be covered. On the whole, things were good for us, not super star great, but enough for us.

 

We decided to give Australia a go in the hope of a better life for us all, but mainly for the kids. Looking back on it, this was something that we needed to do at the time and we are glad that we have. No matter what happens, we can look back on it and say we gave it a go. We will also get the paperwork for the kids, so they can go where they want later on in life. So there are no regrets at all. It is only recently that we have started to feel a pull back to the UK. Parents are always asking the kids when they are coming back to visit and for us the thought of another warm Christmas in Oz, is not the one we want or are used to. For us (and this will not be the case for everyone) but Christmas should be cold, wrapping up to keep warm and feeling snug. So we are always thinking about ways to travel back on holiday.

 

Recently we have looked at moving and that is when you realise how on your own we are. For example, in the UK the grandparents would look after the kids on the day of the move and two mates would come around, one with a van to move things and help. Here we looked at it and there is literally no one to help at all. Little things like this put pressure on you and you then realise that there is a bit of a pull back to the UK.

 

Parents are not getting younger either and the more time spent out here means less time that can be spent with them, in what if we are realistic, is their later years. We are starting to think that possibly we would like to spend the time we/they have left with them, so we can pop around on a Saturday night, rather than just talking on the end of Skype or a phone. We do not want to be in the position later down the line where we say we wish we had of spent what time we had left with them before it was too late, rather than losing the chance.

 

On the whole, we have come to the realisation that there are lots of little things that act to pull you back. These things we totally overlooked back in the UK when we were making the decisions to come over here. If you have any doubts, please make sure you think of the little things too. It may not stop you from coming out here, but you will be aware of them rather than looking at the big things that you may miss.

 

Phil , as long as you don't expect it to be the same ....it wont be

Some people who you think are good friends have moved on ....some forgot about you , the day after the leaving do ......I have seen my best man twice in 20 yrs ......BUT I have some great mates now , some of the old , and some new ....but , life is always on my terms now , if I don't want to do it , whatever it is , I don't

Let me explain , you will be different for the experience , probably more self reliant , more inner confident ....if that doesn't make sense now, one day it will

[jasepom]

Good advice about missing the little things. Overall though dont go back unless you are 100% sure and remember you cant recreate the past, look towards the future.

[jen85]

Great post by the OP, I don't think everyone considers every aspect of their move they are just thinking about their little family (from what I can see), nothing wrong with it just means that things like family getting older don't ever get considered until you are 10,000 miles away. I wish I had more time with my grandad when he was alive but I was bought up here so didn't get to see him that much something I will always wish was different, mum did the best she could given the circumstances.