someguyinoz Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Hi all, I've got the FEAR, as Ian Brown once said, big time. It doesn't help suddenly being stuck in a small flat with my parents trying to organise this when they want to know every detail. Then once they know details they make suggestions and try to change my plans to suit what they would do which is driving me ****ing mental. I can hear them talking about it now. It's ****ing infuriating. They want me somewhere near contacts of theirs?!?! People I've never met and don't know whose details I must carry around. It's ridiculous. I'm just worried that I'm going to be a loner out there, like I am here. I'm not the most confident guy in the world and I have been known to be very avoidant of social situations. I've got better as I've got older but I still struggle and take a back seat a lot of the time. Plus I don't know where the hell I'm going to stay as being a bit older I'm not really feeling the crazy all nighters at hostels all the time. Once in a while yes but it would do my head in constantly. But I need to meet people. What do I do? Where do I go? I'm losing the plot here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Deep breaths lol. You'll be fine! Lots of people go over alone. You'll meet people quickly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Just promise them you will text once a week, take the friends' address just in case, book your ticket and bugger off! I'm more your parents age I'm guessing and of course we still worry about you but if you are going to succeed at this you need to be self sufficient and independent. You could be there by the end of the week if you put your skates on! Get on to The Gumtree and see what is there for jobs, accommodation and social gatherings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguyinoz Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 But manipulating my travel plans to be near random people? I'm so out of here. **** this. See you over there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguyinoz Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 No mate, phonecalls every day initially. I'm nearly twenty****ingnine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguyinoz Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 And then every other day. I might just find a bridge somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Hi all, I've got the FEAR, as Ian Brown once said, big time. It doesn't help suddenly being stuck in a small flat with my parents trying to organise this when they want to know every detail. Then once they know details they make suggestions and try to change my plans to suit what they would do which is driving me ****ing mental. I can hear them talking about it now. It's ****ing infuriating. They want me somewhere near contacts of theirs?!?! People I've never met and don't know whose details I must carry around. It's ridiculous. I'm just worried that I'm going to be a loner out there, like I am here. I'm not the most confident guy in the world and I have been known to be very avoidant of social situations. I've got better as I've got older but I still struggle and take a back seat a lot of the time. Plus I don't know where the hell I'm going to stay as being a bit older I'm not really feeling the crazy all nighters at hostels all the time. Once in a while yes but it would do my head in constantly. But I need to meet people. What do I do? Where do I go? I'm losing the plot here. omg that sounds exactly how my parents were! even trying to get me to meet people they knew that i'd never met lol! Don't worry, you will be fine, if I made it you can! Not gonna lie, I was absolutely fine flying there, the shock just hit me when i got to a shitty hostel in Perth and thought omg what am I doing?!! lol. But you'll be fine I promise. Everyone else, especially lone travellers, are in your situation. It'd be hard to find a backpackers that don't have party goers in but some will be quieter than others, just got to test it out really, the bigger ones might be better then at least if there is noise it's probably not next to you. Where as a small hostel you'll hear everything! Where are you starting off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Ok that's a bit weird. One text a month, if that, was all we got when my son went on his gap year to UK! He did call on Christmas and birthdays. Perhaps you need to live elsewhere in UK before you go so they get used to not having you under foot! However re your original post - if you are a loner by inclination you will have to work very hard to get yourself out of the habit however I think it most likely that you will continue that same behaviour - if you are happy with your own company then there's nothing wrong with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Oh if you are 29 your parents really shouldn't be doing that! I was 20 when I went out, I said I would text or fb daily, to let them know I was fine, and then after I was there a few weeks it was every few days, I tried to ring once every 1-2 weeks though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguyinoz Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 My god this is ridiculous. Sorry all I went off on one a bit there and gave quite a lot away actually! I'm not that bad, when thrown into a different situation I make the effort. I've just been stuck in a rut for so long over here which has a lot to do with why I'm going. My parents, yeah... not quite sure what to say on that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 my mum would probably be the same, your not alone! parents eh..:ssign1: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalis Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Ok that's a bit weird. One text a month, if that, was all we got when my son went on his gap year to UK! He did call on Christmas and birthdays. Perhaps you need to live elsewhere in UK before you go so they get used to not having you under foot! That's just as weird tbh. Pretty sure hostages in foreign countries send more than that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 That's just as weird tbh. Pretty sure hostages in foreign countries send more than that! Not really. Before everyone had mobile phones - which wasn't that long ago - you sent a postcard home to parents once a week (or month)...but they didn't receive it for another couple of weeks. The parents managed to survive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Exactly as Skani wrote. Although I expect with the instant communications available today parents expect more. I'd keep them sweet for the first week or so then slowly make it less. Could always say that your out of a contact area. In time contact will adjust to a more normal time span.....as both adapt to changing circumstances within the family dynamics... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalis Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Hang on, reality check here. Are you honestly trying to say that it's considered normal to get in touch with your parents once every 4-6 weeks if you are 10,000 miles away? I am by no means a mammy's boy but I can assure you it's not normal. Pre everyone having phones was only around 1999/2000, pretty sure there still landlines available then. And the OP was referring to a text a month so she obviously was referring to a time when cell phones were in wide use. Just go into any backpackers with internet access anytime of the day or night and see how many of the same travellers are skyping their rents a few nights a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Not really. Before everyone had mobile phones - which wasn't that long ago - you sent a postcard home to parents once a week (or month)...but they didn't receive it for another couple of weeks. The parents managed to survive. Perhaps with the benefit of hindsight I should feel very guilty. I went to Africa on my own in the 1960's (yes I am that old) in my early 20's. Never phoned once, didn't have a phone in my place. Sent the occasional letter by snail mail. Well never had any grief from my mother, who probably did worry about me. The worst time was when there was a report in the UK papers that white girls were being attacked for wearing mini skirts in Lusaka, she did worry about me that time. We knew nothing about it there. Lived there on my own working for an airline and flying to sometimes to quite remote places, and had the most amazing experiences, some of them a bit hairy. If I could do that in the 1960's then by comparison it's a doddle these days. Bite the bullet and go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebourvellec Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Hi all, I've got the FEAR, as Ian Brown once said, big time. It doesn't help suddenly being stuck in a small flat with my parents trying to organise this when they want to know every detail. Then once they know details they make suggestions and try to change my plans to suit what they would do which is driving me ****ing mental. I can hear them talking about it now. It's ****ing infuriating. They want me somewhere near contacts of theirs?!?! People I've never met and don't know whose details I must carry around. It's ridiculous. I'm just worried that I'm going to be a loner out there, like I am here. I'm not the most confident guy in the world and I have been known to be very avoidant of social situations. I've got better as I've got older but I still struggle and take a back seat a lot of the time. Plus I don't know where the hell I'm going to stay as being a bit older I'm not really feeling the crazy all nighters at hostels all the time. Once in a while yes but it would do my head in constantly. But I need to meet people. What do I do? Where do I go? I'm losing the plot here. Best thing to do is do a couple of trips when you arrive, majority of people are falling over them selves to speak, like first week of Uni. Get use to telling your traveling story to everyone, where your from, where you've been' where your going. TO be honest going alone is sometimes better as you are more approachable than people that are in a group, and its easier to meet people. Take the details say you'll get in touch if you need them. Im sure that they would be happy to meet you, and put you up if you needed. I had met few different people for brief times who I got addresses and numbers from if I wanted to stay with them in Darwin, Adelaide, Perth. As for phone calls every day, just remind them of the time difference and you will be working, so can easy call but might be 4 in the morning. Don't worry too much about the hostels, get some ear plugs, many have 4-6 bed dorms. The worse one I was in was a 32 bed one in Brisbane, cheap. Majority of people do respect the other people in the room if your sleeping. I just turned 25 when I went on my WHV, I thought I was old too... I felt most people were in mid 20's when i was there - PM if you have any other questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalis Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 The worse one I was in was a 32 bed one in Brisbane, cheap.. :chatterbox: OH. MY. GOD. I thought a 6 bedder was bad enough. labourvellec is spot on btw with the rest of the post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebourvellec Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 :chatterbox: OH. MY. GOD. I thought a 6 bedder was bad enough. labourvellec is spot on btw with the rest of the post. We were trying to save money??? It was surprisingly quite for the amount of people, but god did it smell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalis Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'd rather have woofed it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egrek Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I think I was the same, going travelling after my brother died meant I was effectively now an only child and they didn't like the idea of me being on the other side of the world. But while it's good to stay in contact, you can't always be (and yes, sometimes don't want to be). There are always complications and needs to make things easier or harder. As for meeting people you don't know, all parents do that! And sometimes it works, sometimes not. Always good to have a 'contact' even one you don't know, you'll likely never use them, but its another (nearer) safety net. And they may just live in a good place All else fails, easier to run away then and there, than now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebourvellec Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'd rather have woofed it! It was only 3 nights, trying to save money for Fraser Island and Whitsundays. Least the Bathrooms were clean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Hang on, reality check here. Are you honestly trying to say that it's considered normal to get in touch with your parents once every 4-6 weeks if you are 10,000 miles away? I am by no means a mammy's boy but I can assure you it's not normal. Pre everyone having phones was only around 1999/2000, pretty sure there still landlines available then. Well it's certainly normal amongst my group. Yes, of course there were landlines but people forget (or are not aware) how expensive it was to ring overseas then. Or the inconvenience...there hasn't always been direct dial. You had to call through an operator. Before that you even had to prebook a call for a certain time. It was something you did only in an emergency - an accident... or running out of money.:shocked: I did most of my overseas stints in the 80s and 90s. I didn't once call home...nor did my parents expect it. But I did write regularly. But if you are living permanently overseas you will get into a pattern which suits all parties involved and their circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickachu Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I've been here for 3 months now (nearly) and skyped with my parents twice. Once at christmas and once after my wallet was nicked. With Facebook and email you can still keep in contact with them, just say that you can keep up with what you're doing on there, no doubt you'll be posting pictures and whatnot so can be a way for them to see that you're still alive. I'm 25 and I'm fine with not speaking to them very often, was the same when I lived in sweden, think I skyped with them there about 10 times in 2 years. Regards meeting people, I'm on my own, it's easy to meet people, the hostel I'm at is great as there's quite a few solo travellers or people who have come as a pair and they tend to join eachother and I join in with them. Also if you have beer, give a few out, you'll get them back and you'll make friends at the same time. Same with cigarettes, people just seem to share all the time. I suppose if you've got a job and staying in the same place for a while people look after eachother as we're all in the same boat. Don't worry, you'll be fine! Once you get over the jetlag and get settled a bit, can find a job it'll be easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 That's just as weird tbh. Pretty sure hostages in foreign countries send more than that! He was out having a life, why would he call us? If we wanted him we could call/send text and if he wanted us he could do the same. He was 24 when he went after uni and really the only time I tried to contact (having said I would never be one of those clingy parents) was the day of he London bombings because I knew he would have been in London somewhere and he did the same with the Canberra bushfires. Now I am in UK we do tend to contact a bit more but that is usually because there are logistical things to coordinate. When I was in Aus and my parents were in UK we went months without calling we were all adult and quite capable of picking up a phone if we needed to! I can see that if you are a kid just out of school heading off for a foreign country then more regular contact would be a sensible precaution but you can't hang on to the apron strings for ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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