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Keep trying or give up?


DisillusionedScot

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Hi Alan,

 

I read the entire thread for the first time and my eyes are filled with tears. I am also a migrant to Perth and have not found the work for four months. I was feeling depressed and sometimes questioning my decision to migrate. So I can understand how hard It must have been for you. Going by the first posting of this thread, it is more than 2 years old and that's why I admire you even for your sheer perseverance and will to survive. I wish I could have been of some help. But please don't loose the hope. I am sure you will get over it sooner than later. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Cheers!!!

Edited by shresthaz
Grammatical error
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I also come to Sydney for two months and never see what the recruitment company looks like. And I am sometimes bothered by the agency. To find a job in Australia is totally different from in my country.In China, it is easy for me to find a job with high salary. I don't know how to continue this bullshit life. If there are few jobs for new immigrants for IT career, the Australia immigrant government should limit this career. Lots of IT people could not find job.I waste my money every minute without any income. I also think of working as a labor worker such as cleaner, driver. However, I am unwilling to do this. If I have done this, I prefer to return to my country and continue my IT career. To be or not to be, it is a question. to make a living or lost your profession with so many experience, which path should you prefer to choose?:cry:

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Hi guys, I'm kinds 'hiding' in a small back room trying to keep out of the owner's way. I've got TAFE tomorrow which will be a bit of a relief just to get out of here. I really don't know how I'm holding on here. most nights I just think about walking out, but to where and to what?

 

Every time I show my face I get criticised. Last night I got told off for 'not telling her what a good person she is!' Seriously.

 

I'm tired, really, really tired. I miss Max so much but I'm trapped here.

 

:-(

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Hi guys, I'm kinds 'hiding' in a small back room trying to keep out of the owner's way. I've got TAFE tomorrow which will be a bit of a relief just to get out of here. I really don't know how I'm holding on here. most nights I just think about walking out, but to where and to what?

 

Every time I show my face I get criticised. Last night I got told off for 'not telling her what a good person she is!' Seriously.

 

I'm tired, really, really tired. I miss Max so much but I'm trapped here.

 

:-(

 

Keep your spirits up at this time as I know it feels like it's all overwhelming right now but I believe that you can bear this burden and walk through it a stronger man :hug:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Guys, does anyone have a room they could let me have for a while? I've been told I need to leave this place (I'm not playing the role she wants me to play basically). I need to get to Dandenong campus one day per week (Thursdays). I've got no money for a bond and only got my Centrelink payments which are conditional on me attending TAFE.

 

Can *anyone* help? I need somewhere clean and safe even if it's just for the next 8 weeks.

 

I don't want to be dramatic but I'm desperate. I'm facing living on the streets *again*. :-(

 

Thanks so much

 

Alan

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Yeah, I go to the gym about 4 or 5 days a week which kind of keeps the sanity for an hour or so! That does help. I used to work in a project where I was talking non-stop throughout the day - I was an IT Tutor working with people with drug and alcohol issues and mental health problems, so yeah, it's definitely a change to go from being constantly busy to having very little to do.

 

 

I assume you've signed up with temp agencies? If not, you should. I don't mean the "official" employment agencies supported by the government - I've never been near one of those and most Aussies wouldn't go to them to look for work. Which means most of their candidates are via Centrelink which (in some employers' eyes) means no-hopers, which creates a bias against them.

 

You don't have to wait till they have a suitable vacancy, just rock up and say you'd like to enrol for temp work. Say you're willing to do days here and there as well as longer-term contracts.

 

I think you also need to take a dispassionate look at yourself - I very much doubt it's your age that's counting against you, so it must be something else. What kind of image do you present? When you go for interview, are your clothes appropriate? What about haircut, piercings, facial hair? One of the benefits of going to a temp agency is you can ask them for feedback on where you need to improve. I know it's not easy keeping up a presentable appearance on a low income but it is really crucial in getting a job. You can get yourself a good hair clipper for less than $40 at the Shaver Shop - it's not hard to use. When you go to a barber these days, virtually all they do is run a clipper over your hair anyway!

 

How's your accent? Australians don't grow up hearing a multitude of different accents like Brits do, so they're not good at interpreting unfamiliar accents. I've seen Aussies struggling to understand Scottish accents which I would call "Anglified". If interviewers are having trouble understanding you, that would definitely be a problem. I remember having a similar problem in London forty years ago, before the BBC allowed regional accents on TV - I never had a strong accent, it's a bit Morningside to be honest, but I had to make a conscious effort to lose it just to make myself understood. I had some hilarious experiences just asking directions!

Edited by Marisawright
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@DisillusionedScot, I'm not sure if you would feel comfortable doing this Alan, but there's a Gurdwara in Pakenham and if you went there, they would give you help, food and shelter to get yourself sorted out. There is also a Mosque near the Dandenong Campus and again, if you go there, they will offer you help, food and shelter. Please consider these places as I know it can seem a bit unnerving to have to go and ask for help but they really will help you and get you sorted out. You won't be turned away xx

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi there guys, well, was at the doctor the other day to discuss my medication (been on anti-depressants for a long time, but it's reactive not full on). Anyway, I've got a referral to a local psychologist to try a non-chemical approach to my situation. It was my suggestion. I guess a lot of folk who've read this thread will understand that most people would be down after my experiences and especially after losing Max. My GPs prescription: why haven't you got another dog! Of-course I had to tell him that I'm not in a stable home situation. Sadly.

 

So, six weeks to go to finish TAFE. I so want to get out of this place I'm in. Spent last Saturday night in the local park :-(

 

Alan

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Sorry, I just read back....can you get rent assistance?

 

Hi, I get $126 a fortnight for rent assistance which is the maximum I can get. I don't have any savings left to pay for a bond/deposit and got no transport either. I've been getting the silent treatment all night tonight, Feel really dreadful. :-(

 

Alan

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Hi, I get $126 a fortnight for rent assistance which is the maximum I can get. I don't have any savings left to pay for a bond/deposit and got no transport either. I've been getting the silent treatment all night tonight, Feel really dreadful. :-(

 

Alan

 

What a terrible way to live. Presumably you are getting the silent treatment due to your reluctance to perform the additional "duties" required? Have you given any consideration to going to the Gurdwara or Mosque, who will willingly help you to find new accommodation and in the meantime allow you to stay there without any pressure?

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Hi, I'm sitting in a back room. Feel absolutely abused. I told her this afternoon that I need to come off my meds and onto a new set. She was saying shed5 support me. Now tonight because I won't 'do what she wants' she's back to telling me she wants me out. She's getting more and more aggressive. I feel like this is some sort of psychological torture. Got pains in my chest again, probably stress . Can't stop crying. Somehow got to get away from here.

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Guest Andy
Hi, I'm sitting in a back room. Feel absolutely abused. I told her this afternoon that I need to come off my meds and onto a new set. She was saying shed5 support me. Now tonight because I won't 'do what she wants' she's back to telling me she wants me out. She's getting more and more aggressive. I feel like this is some sort of psychological torture. Got pains in my chest again, probably stress . Can't stop crying. Somehow got to get away from here.

 

Is she a bit of an old moose or not to bad as you could keep giving her one until you are happy to leave, maybe just shut your eyes an think of Kelly Brook or someone similar?

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Is she a bit of an old moose or not to bad as you could keep giving her one until you are happy to leave, maybe just shut your eyes an think of Kelly Brook or someone similar?

 

Honestly, if there was any way I could force myself through this I would. She wants me out of the house like every time she looks at me. It's just absolute abuse. I'm not allowed to use my computer, my tablet or my phone in her presence. I'm accused of being on FaceBook when she isn't around (what's it got to do with her???), apart from this forum FB is my only contact with Scotland and the outside world. If I don't compliment her on how good her cooking is (even when I'm eating my own food!) I'm told I'm inconsiderate and reminded constantly of what a horrible person I am. I don't think I am tbh.

 

Anyone live near Pakenham/Berwick/Officer who would rent out a spare room for say two months? Just till I get through this course and then I can think about my next move. Pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeee :-(

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Honestly, if there was any way I could force myself through this I would. She wants me out of the house like every time she looks at me. It's just absolute abuse. I'm not allowed to use my computer, my tablet or my phone in her presence. I'm accused of being on FaceBook when she isn't around (what's it got to do with her???), apart from this forum FB is my only contact with Scotland and the outside world. If I don't compliment her on how good her cooking is (even when I'm eating my own food!) I'm told I'm inconsiderate and reminded constantly of what a horrible person I am. I don't think I am tbh.

 

Anyone live near Pakenham/Berwick/Officer who would rent out a spare room for say two months? Just till I get through this course and then I can think about my next move. Pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeee :-(

 

Alan, please go to the Gurdwara. You will not be turned away and you will not only be given somewhere to stay and food, but also practical support in to long term accommodation. You won't be expected to convert to Sikhism and you will be warmly welcomed and looked after. Alternatively, go to the Mosque and the same applies. We (Muslims) are not allowed to turn people away in their time of need and neither are Sikhs. Please go to one or the other as you will be helped and I must admit, if I was in trouble, I would head to the nearest Gurdwara myself, even though I'm not Sikh!

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  • 1 month later...

Hi folk, just an update: I've been kinda wandering about just to keep out of the house at night for the last few weeks - Pakenham to Beaconsfield and back took five hours and was probably a bit much with hindsight - anyway, I finish my TAFE course this Thursday which is my deadline to be out of this nightmare. I know I'm not going to get work in VIC now - I've got the Cert IV but no currency in anything here - so, I can't really think of anything else to do except to get on a plane and go back to WA.

 

I know the job prospects in sleepy Secret Harbour are basically non-existent but at least I'll have a roof over my head (it's my old house-share and the room is still available), and I'll be safe. I've worked out that I'll have about $75 a month, roughly, to live off after I've paid my rent/bills etc, but that I guess is what I'll just have to live with.

 

I've sold all my photography gear for a pittance but at least it'll get me back there. I'm almost down to the shirt on my back, well, a couple of suitcases.

 

Yep, all the dreams and hopes have gone, it's been a long road from sitting in the board room of one of Scotland's largest retailers to a day bed in Secret Harbour. Not a great way to end ones days :-(

 

Cheers guys.

 

Alan

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Guest littlesarah

Just in case you didn't know this, most churches offer food supplies, if ever you're really short. And whether or not you share their beliefs, clergy will listen & if they can be of practical help will do so. Another thought is Men's sheds - they offer the chance to do something practical & meet new people. One of my friends started going to our local shed when he lost his job. He was able to use their equipment to make a few things to sell at a local market.

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Hi DS,sorry to hear about your current situation.Without reading the whole thread,is it possible to go to the nearest homeless shelter?You've been through so much hon,can family perhaps help you back home with the loan of an airfare back to Scotland?I admire your staying power,but really,is a country worth losing your mental health and well being over?I know myself when to quit when something just is'nt working for me,and I then end the suffering by moving on.

Edited by Jacaranda
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Hi DS,sorry to hear about your current situation.Without reading the whole thread,is it possible to go to the nearest homeless shelter?You've been through so much hon,can family perhaps help you back home with the loan of an airfare back to Scotland?I admire your staying power,but really,is a country worth losing your mental health and well being over?I know myself when to quit when something just is'nt working for me,and I then end the suffering by moving on.

 

Hi Melza, I her what you're saying but I can't go back now. Firstly my passport has expired, secondly there's the cost (got no one back home who could help me with that. No family left), and then I have to ask myself, 'what would I be going back to?' I'd get no benefits for six months and all I would have to look forward to is a homeless shelter for single men. Honestly, I wouldn't survive that.

 

I think things are fairly low now and I know I'm just wandering from place to place but I'm lost, just totally lost.

 

Alan

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