SGHJLL Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hi, any experienced opinions would be very gratefully received please! My husband and I are moving to Melbourne next year on 175 visas (already validated). Our older two daughters are staying in Uk for Uni, starting in September. My husband is thinking of going out first on his own to set up work and rental property etc. I want to stay until eldest daughter graduates (mid July).She will be continuing with a teaching degree afterwards. Hubby is a carpenter. We also have two younger daughters - 4 and 6 years old. It would be nice for them to finish the school year before we move. Has anyone sent hubby out first and how did it go? Any input would be great, fors and againsts please? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozzchops Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 My husband went out six weeks before us and it was the best thing,he found a rental bought a car and sorted out all the other niggly things that needed doing.It was so nice to arrive at the airport and get in the car to our new home and climb into beds that were all made up.I can only think that arriving together with nothing sorted to be very stressful.It also helped that i was able to be properly organised back at home and tidy up ends there.Skype meant it was easy to stay in touch,the only thing is that pyscology jumped in at 4 weeks and the final two weeks seemed to drag ,he started to feel lonely,i wonder if this was because we knew the end was in sight? Anyway good look with your move,remain positive and remember everything works out in the end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Positives are that it'll be less stressful for you when you arrive. Negatives are that you won't get to share the excitement of strating life in a new country, you'll be apart from him for quite a while (and believe me, long distance isn't pleasant), also you won't get any say in where you live etc as he'll have to make that decision himself (which also puts a lot of pressure on him to get it right). To be honest, unless your husband has got a job lined up that needs him to start before you can get out there, then personally I would all go together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stephanielouise981 Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I think it's a great idea. I think it's great that your family will already have a home set up for when they arrive. Food in the cupboards, beds made... a home. My hubby and I (with our two children) are seriously thinking about returning home to the UK. I think that we would seriously consider doing a similar thing. My hubby works from home so I think it would be nice if we had a house and study set up for him so that he can start work with everything sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matjones Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I think it's great that your family will already have a home set up for when they arrive. Food in the cupboards, beds made... Might not be a good idea to send a man first then :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bazinga Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Hubby went out for 7 months before us. It was fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal2 Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 my hubbie did 3 months before, it's hard, but I think it paid off when we landed as we got straight into a life, no illusions that we were on holiday as such, plus hubbie knew stuff which made it easier, but it was hard Cal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Great idea for the man :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ComingDownUnder Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I personally would have hated it if my husband had come out before myself and our children. We have talked and talked and dreamed and longed to live in Australia for almost 10 years, so when we finally got the green light, I would have been devastated to not be making the biggest move of our lives, together. The excitement and anticipation, stress and anxiety were, for us, all part of the experience and we couldn't have imagined not experiencing it all together as a family. It was a huge adventure for us and like all of our adventures, what makes them wonderful is that we share them, the ups and the downs, the tears and the joy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwolst77 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I am just about to do it myself in two weeks time! For me personally when my the family get here in late November, I shall have a house and car sorted (75% of our stuff goes with me in two weeks time), know where all the shops are etc and hopefully have some friends (we know a few people in Melbourne). So hopefully the wife and myself will just be able to get on with living and enjoying life, most of the hard stuff will have been done. Moving, finding somewhere to live, living without your personal stuff, two small hyperactive kids under school age, starting a new job and jet lag all at the same time sounds like a recipe for divorce in my opinion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ComingDownUnder Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Moving, finding somewhere to live, living without your personal stuff, two small hyperactive kids under school age, starting a new job and jet lag all at the same time sounds like a recipe for divorce in my opinion My husband and I are still very much married and all of the above applied to us... :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jane8927 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I am currently going through it, my hubby left in June and me and my son will be leaving for QLD in October, I struggled the first couple of weeks total emotional wreck ... but hubby got a pc and got skype and now I can see him and talk to him every day. At least by the time I get there we will have a home and a car and my hubby started working straight away, so bank accounts etc.. are already in place. I know doing it this way was the right thing for us, luckily for me my children are older, Daughter is 19 and due to start Uni next month, and my son is 15, so they are sympathetic to their emotional mum.... It can be done, some days are harder than others, I have loads still to sort out in the house, so I am busy every weekend, but every night when I go to bed I know that I am one day closer to being back with him in our new home, to start our new life together. Good Luck I wish you all the best xxx (I have 10 weeks, 74 days, 1796 hours, 107766 minutes and 6465983 seconds left but who's counting.....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzy--bee Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 We have had several people staying with us who have made this arrangement, although in one case it was the wife who moved first. One family decided that the wife should carry on working in the UK until the husband found a job in Melbourne, so they always had at least one income. Fortunately this only took him about 6 weeks. BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest redlee71 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Hi My husband came to Melbourne 6 months before we did. I had 2 boys 18 and 16 at the time and they needed to stay to finish exams and my girls 14 and 12 wanted to finish their school year and have their last summer in the UK with their friends. It wasn't easy by any means, it was a hell of a lot of work for me, packing up and tying up all the loose ends. As for hubby I think it was just as hard for him, he was lonely and time really dragged for him, especially near the end (when things were manic for me lol). During that time though we did make joint decisions on life here. I did the house hunting on the internet and he did the viewings, it worked out well and am very happy in the house we choose together. We had planned for our belongings to arrive in Oz about a week before we did but not all things go to plan and it ended up the container arrived the same day as we did so not ideal but if it had gone to plan arriving to a furnished house with beds made, feeling like home would have been wonderful. So all in all it worked for us but it was incredibly tough and may not work for everyone only you guys as a family will know if you can do it. Good luck with everything, when and where are you thinking of living in Oz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGHJLL Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 Hi redlee71 we are moving to Geelong area near Melbourne. With the help of all the feedback on here we have just booked my husband's one way flight to Melbourne in early July (Singapore airlines as it seems the cheapest at the moment). Myself and the two girls (4 and 6) will be booking a flight for the end of September. I think it works out best for us this way and then the older ones will be settled in their Uni in Uk and I can help them sort everything. Also I can make the most of the summer hols with the little ones and they get another six weeks off at christmas in aus too. This also means that our 4 year old will only have to wait until February to start school in aus (she is starting in uk this Sept). We will be filling the container before my husband goes so that hopefully it will arrive before we do. I will have a look on the internet for a house to rent and send hubby along to view it. We have been out in March to see the area in person so we know where exactly we want to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest redlee71 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Hi SGHJLL Sounds like you guys have done all the research and hard work in making the right decisions for you. I hope things go well for you, although you are the other side of Melbourne to me, feel free to PM when you get here to meet up for a coffee if you fancy it. Believe me its important to hit the ground running when you get here, there are plenty of wonderful people here to meet, you just have to put yourself out there. Good luck with embracing your new adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louwexford Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 My Husband left Ireland on the 18th of July and wont see him until the 18th of December. Thank god for Skype and Facetime. It is very hard somedays, and have missed him badly, especially at weekends, as my 16 yr old and 20 yr old both have weekend jobs. Somedays i burst into doing things, writing lists and decluttering, then i get a day where i do nothing. But everyday is a day closer. He is able to gather up money for a car, rental of house and whitegoods, as we are shipping everything bar the kitchen sink. Our relationship is holding together very well, as he worked in the uk before he headed to oz, so I was use to not seeing him for maybe two weeks at a time. So think of it as positive. The hardest thing for me is going to be leaving my 20 year to finish her final year in college, please god she will follow us in June. Hope this helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mum of 5 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 This is our plan too. Hubby has to be in Oz by about 20th June 2013. I have work until the end of June, and kids have school til end of June. So Hubby will go around the 20th, and is staying with a friend. He can then get a job and house (with the help of my friend), and then I will follow with our girls (12, 10, 8, 6 and 5) in July or August. Still deciding on when, as I want the girls to start school at the beginning of term 4, not mid way through term 3. My biggest fear is the flight, 1 adult and 5 kids... I must be crazy :wacko: It's also the way my parents did it 20yrs ago when we moved from Oz to Ireland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGHJLL Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 thank you all for your well wishes, your help and advice has been very much appreciated and keep in touch for that drink redlee71. Best of luck to everyone on your new ventures x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs WebWeazel Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Oh good luck! The kids and I fly out on Thursday - finally - after three months away from my OH (who went out end of May). It's been vile, even with Skype and Messengers. I will do my best to never have to do it again that's for sure. But for some people it seems to work, so I hope it's OK for you. Good luck with your new adventure!! Mrs W Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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