thinker78

thanks for that. lowestoft was the place of my childhood holidays so fond memories.....good to know you can also get to norwich. i haven't heard of gorleston so am onto it now.....thanks again.

thanks wattsy. Bury would be my first choice except it's a lot more pricey than the rest of the county. Any smaller towns with access to Bury which you could recommend? did you know Hadleigh at all?

As we have been priced out of Essex, but would also like somewhere a bit less built up, we are wondering about suffolk- namely the towns of Hadleigh, Leiston, Aldeburgh or similar. Does anyone live here, is there anywhere to avoid or recommend? Are there any well kept secrets? thanks in advance.

This is a great list so thanks! Apparently, the rule of thumb is that for every year you've been away, it takes a month to settle. I can see this being true. I'm expecting it to take a least a year, and I'm not expecting to like the things I didn't like before. But, I am expecting to appreciate certain things more....i am also not expecting to be friends with the same people (most have moved on, after a decade, only a tiny handful remain in touch), nor find it easy. I will miss Australia and expect to feel 'homesick ' for it. If you are realistic as opposed to idealistic it should ease the transition.

yes- from essex but cannot afford to relocate back there! looking around suffolk or dorset- pretty hard to know where to go!

Sorry to hear this bad news. It is really hard being here when things go wrong in the UK. Do you have PR? If it is activated, it's got a lifespan. Or, failing that, is there any way you could go back for a bit? Not sure of your circumstances re work and finances etc. 4 months is no time at all. It takes YEARS to settle in all honesty and of course, you can never truly replace family. Lots of people speak the truth when they say to be a successful migrant, you have to be selfish. I have also found out that many who settle are not that close to their families, or have some of their families here. The best thing to know is your rights re ability to stay (visa) and that 4 months is nothing in the grand scheme. I have been here 10 years almost and still not settled,but it's pretty personal. I would say, if you can go back for a bit to see him, perhaps do that. most people wish to stay the 4 years and gain citizenship....that way you are not walking away with nothing and have options in the future. I can only empathise as have been here whilst 3 of my grandparents have passed- not like a parent but still gut wrenching when circumstance meant i simply could not go back. best of luck- x

hello! we are in SA and are planning on a UK return end 2015- we are shipping out small jack russell- not sure if this crate would be any good for us? i haven't even started looking at the requirements yet but if it is any good for dogs we would love it. thanks.

if you have the baby in the uk and you are british citizen, your child will be uk citizen first, and oz 2nd by descent? having it there is the best move as i believe that family courts look at where children are habitually resident. you need to have that baby in the UK for legal reasons. i would also quickly establish a residence such as using your mums address in the interim so that you have got proof of abode and the date etc. you are free of course to access NHS care and rightly so. make sure you do everything possible to establish yourself quickly into UK life and get a bank account up and running again, and i found baby related services there to be quite good. best of luck. it's not ideal but you will get through, and please go soon! x

Hiya. Life is life wherever you live it and even more so once kids come along! You go to work, you pay bills, you get into a routine etc. I loved living in perth as a singleton but it does have it's drawbacks. It's quite harsh on outsiders sometimes and it's fairly transient. After a hard days work you just wanna flop on the sofa, which you could do anywhere. Saying that, it has many great things to offer, and you've only done 9 months. It takes a lot longer to re establish yourselves and make some kind of social network. In terms of knowing you may want to return most people stay to gain citizenship before bailing. There's nothing wrong with that as you may one day wish to come back. One thing i found out recently was that having a child here gives it british citizenship by descent. it's not a big deal, but your child will not be entitled to pass it on. you may wish to check out the british laws on this, I wish i had known at the time. I have a 2 year deadline to leave australia having done a decade here. as much as i love it, it will never be home, primarily as most of my family are back in the UK. I have had a couple of short ping poms but am certain that the feelings i have (which you stated) will never leave and children grow so fast, and mine has already missed out on grandparents and cousins long enough. Just try and enjoy what you can do in perth which you can't do there, live for the moment and see what happens. you could feel settled in a year or you could not. Frankly, having a baby in either place is going to completely change your life in every possible way, so best rest up, and enjoy. ps. i found maternity services in perth to be excellent, both pre and after. they have great mothers groups, lactation consultants and the good weather meant i was often out with the pram in parks with other sleep deprived mothers even in winter.

i think growing up and spending 30 years there, i can't honestly say the weather bothered me, it wasn't until I came here that I realised i prefer warmer climates....which overall I do, except, not the summer, and I'll be glad to see the back of worrying over skin cancer, using sunscreen, being paranoid my child will get burnt in 5 secs, and all that jazz. But I can't say weather features in my memories of the uk- it was a non feature until I had something to compare it too. i actually have some brilliant memories of winter growing up and during adolescence- there was nothing more freezing than trying to smoke on the top floor of a double decker bus with the window open during a snowstorm, or, all those new years eves queuing up outside pubs or clubs huddled together for warmth. I have really fond memories of bonfire nights too, which were always a big thing in our village, or being wrapped up to go outside in the playground for a quick breath of icey air. i don't mind the cold, but i do think the lack of daylight will take a while to get used to.

Since last discussing this on here, we have literally been priced out of essex! unless the market radically changes in 12 months we cannot live near family. Both the buyers and rental market have gone nuts in the south east- we cannot justify the rental prices on a normal family home. We are now in another limbo, trying to work out somewhere we both could live happily in, accessible within 2 hours to family. it sort of leaves us with dorset suffolk kent etc. we have also considered the south west but that again puts hours on our support networks. really peeved and hoping the market goes back down again. nothing against moving somewhere new but a real headache deciding on a location and researching. leeds is a great city and lived there before moving there, but sadly it's a great city surrounded by quite a lot of bad suburbs with a lot of crime. york would be the go imo. good luck to all- making the most of our last hot summer this year- and the semi affordable rental prices here in SA.

I dont know where you live but believe me, Adelaide had days of 46 this year and you can't go out in it, unless you're nuts. obviously you live somewhere better than me. i have no sea breeze and souless 'pubs' and I know I'm not alone in my experience.

Sure, you can sit in it, if you want to end up like those shrunken old Aussies I've seen...also, i'm only 36 and have had to have 2 dodgy skin cancers removed- and i don't think the full effects of constantly using sunscreen have been fully investigated. They use very heavy chemicals and people rely on it way too much here instead of staying out of it. i enjoy my ten minutes in the sun, but it's not worth the risk long term.

no way if it's in $. we are three and struggle on 65,000 and often have to rob peter to pay paul. we have no spare money for things such as clothing, holidays or whatnot.

Ok. Quality of life question- that's totally dependent on who you are and what you value for starters. Do people still need to work (most both adults), yes? do bills still need paying and housework doing and does life just take on the same sort of shape just 10,000 miles away? yes. Does the sun shine more? yes- but like others have said, it's not your 'laying near the Med sea in a bikini' type sun- it's really effing powerful and you can't even sit in it- i got burnt this week and it's mid bloody winter. your kids can't stay out in it for long without being slathered in sunscreen and UV protective clothing. last summer I spent 3 weeks holed up indoors during our heatwave, and the school was shut too due to bush fires and broken air con. No different to being snowed in. things i love about this country also drive me mad like the UK did. i love the space and smaller population but that too brings it's own issues. Community- less of! No pubs to walk to, often a case of suburban 'shut down' at 6pm, i've been here 2 years (Aus 9) and only just met some neighbours- very lonely often, ended up finally making friends with other ex pats- have made a lot of effort but don't kid yourself that it's the same. at least, it does take a really long time. I don't think quality of life is better. you have to fly everywhere, or drive immense distances, no rail connections, and if you are on a moderate income like we are it's really insanely expensive. that being said, i've had 9 great years here and have seen most of the country. i don't regret that. but i truly hand on heart do regret each day taking my child away from her extended family. others don't mind leaving theres, but for me, it's a no brainer what's more important. i don't mean to be negative. there's a lot to be said about adventure, just really think it through. it does cost a lot to get here after all. and you can't just pop back each year. being a migrant is bloody hard work- as adults you forget how much effort is required to 'start again' with social circles and building up a support network. i still don't have much of one even now and find it impossible with a family. hard choices, keep your house if you can in the uk, and give it a go, but prepare yourself for a rollercoaster......

true, your children may not be eligible for uk citizenship by descent if you got it by descent, you will definitely need to double check this.

the important thing to note is that your husband has no right to live in the uk just because he's married to you. your children as uk citizens will have the same rights as you. the uk has the NHS which is free for uk citizens and EU nationals. education wise, schools are free. as you will not meet the habitual residency requirements (check out department for work and pensions regarding this) you will not be entitled to anything in terms of benefits. it's quite hard to secure a rental without 6 months upfront or a guarantor as you will not have uk credit history. you really need to look at how your husband can get a visa= as the UK national you yourself are required to meet financial requirements.

unfortunately, it's not straight forward. british laws changed last years with a lot of financial criteria to meet. your husband is not entitled to leave to remain- he needs his own visa. a lot of people find they cannot meet the new criteria. it's best if he has access to an EU passport or if he has at least one uk born grandparent he could get an ancestry visa. the details of commonwealth spouses can be found on uk websites.

Quoll is right- i followed this case- in which a mother was her on a prospective spouse visa, the relationship broke down and she had her visa cancelled. the child from the relationship was an aussie citizen as was the father. i suspect she was allowed to take the child (never saw the outcome- perhaps media silence) as there was such a big outcry about this case in the media initially- they will do it, and have done it.

Just wanted to chip in that a friend of mine was $200 short of the previous 12 months earnings so they had to do a u turn and return to australia! Scandulous esp considering the salary she was going to be earning in london.

Fell in love with it as a mere backpacker- hard to settle back into UK life on my return- met someone here, got a job offer, ended up following fate and seeing what happened....now almost a decade on completely torn, but if you asked me 9 years ago, i would've said; weather, space, positive people, opportunity, better off financially. Sadly the last one is no longer true, but I still enjoy the others. Will be returning eventually to the UK however as love it but also love my family.

yes- nivea all day (small white bottle with blue top) factor 30 but designed for faces and necks. use it under my make up in summer each day= no grease, very light, really good. bit pricey but have had cancer removed on my face so don't care about the money now!

yes, i'm really really hoping that my daughter settles into either year 1 or 2 and then we know we will commit to seeing out her education in the uk- we may then pong back to oz once the olds are no longer around but, who knows? primary school moves seem to be more common these days, but post year 7 ish i think stability is preferable. that's my opinion and i know it doesn't work out like that for many. the 2 systems are fairly different down the track and high school is very important- i used to worry about universities but given the insane increase in fees here shortly coupled with the fee system in the UK, i'm not sure i'll even be advising mine to bother! good luck- at least you know you are not alone and many other families grapple with this on a daily basis!

It's a really really torturous decision. I've had a few moments like the b'day party you mentioned above- someone's grandma offered to be a surrogate type grandma to my little girl a few years ago as i think she felt sorry for her not having a grandma here- literally had to stop myself crying in the middle of a kids party. We've had several Christmasses alone, or with people who aren't that special to us. In fact, last Christmas was the first one i've spent with my parents (they came here) for 9 years. They can't come this year, and i choke up at the thought of us being alone again this Christmas. Most of my newish friends are other ex pats. i've got a couple of longer term aussies but they have slowly drifted away and my only emotional sort of connections are with other brits. ive been down under around 9 years, and i know it's not because i haven't made the effort. i find that making the effort is now too tiring with aussies- i have tried to mould myself to their way of conversation, activities etc but i feel more relaxed around other brits. This has only dawned on me after all this time and i'm much happier for no longer feeling i'm the freak here. We came to our decision as i suddenly realised my parents were mid 60s and lots of their friends had died! mine are in ok health but what if they only had 10 years or whatnot left? they miss their only grandchild and i want to give that to them. now that i'm late 30s i feel a lot more emotional about things than i did when i arrived. time seems very short and there's no way around it- the parent visa is now an impossible dream. i do feel torn on a daily basis esp when i know that in some ways we are better off here. that being said, when your child (mine's 5) tells you how much they miss their nan and grandad, and asks to move almost weekly, you gotta listen. i am worried, it's not about material things, just the stress and upheavel it will take. we are all dual citizens so are lucky. i suggest you get that before you leave. it's worth lot. how did i arrive at the decision- yes, the pain of my child not being near her family actually caught me by surprise. i know this doesn't bother a lot of people but it's a personal thing. good luck. it sounds like you will be happy there and if you leave here with citizenship, you are truly blessed.

yes, good luck with that. we are also looking to move back to essex (from there originally) and the market has gone nuts in the last 4 weeks. i've been keeping a close check on all essex areas since Feb- seriously, since the last few weeks things have gone up by 2-300 quid a month. We need a 3 bed in a semi decent area (north essex, chelmsford, leigh or similar) but all are now 1200 min- i'm priced out of my own home town! no way paying that. now looking at having to relocate at least 2 hours from essex in order to be able to actually afford it. actually having serious reconsiderations- may stay put here for a couple more years. in the last 6 months the housing market has also increased price wise- most things have gone up a very noticeable amount, thus pushing rents up. sucks. cant afford it. even though i want to relocate there.....