thinker78

dont stress- not crazy like the UK with getting into schools- unless you want to go to a very expensive elite one. if you live in the catchment, you're in. you may even have more than one to choose from. i know- luxury! feel sorry for those of us using the much easier system here and trying to get our heads around the crazy over subscribed uk system- totally putting me off even trying to return some days!

Yes, bit more expense with pregnancy here. Firstly, 12 week scan- pay for that. also have to pay for all blood tests and the glucose test. once you have your medicare card, find a GP and you can do 'shared care' between the GP and midwife team etc. reciprocal covers most things- had my emergency caesar on it, no dramas, but no free prescriptions here or dental. baby aftercare is also fairly limited but i didn't have one in the uk, only going by what friends said. i'd still have one here though as the hospitals in general are better- no disrespect to uk hospitals, but obviously here, depending on where you live, there are less people in them. mostly they are of a good standard. i had a private room for 3 days and excellent nursing care. the small expenses during pregnancy were not really noticed. back in the day we also got the baby bonus which more than made up for it. sadly that's now gone. good luck!

hello. it's good to have goals, but it's also good to be open to possibilities in life Humans come in all forms and I'm sure you would not like all Brits ( i didn't haha) and you may one day find an aussie you click with. I am also stuck here- in a limbo- not sure for 12-24 months. Very hard. However, I am trying to a)appreciate on a daily basis all the things i do love here b) make a list of things i wish to do before i leave c) i have actually started making a lot of ex pat friends which i never, ever placed importance on. Just having some brits to socialise with occasionally makes a real difference to my mental health- it actually helps me stop missing my family in the UK for some reason- just comforting i guess. Dedication to your daughter is admirable, and it's not easy. However, you are also a person who deserves to have a life outside of parenting but you can't force this i feel. once you are settled and in a routine, perhaps play it by ear and try to connect with people. It may be of benefit to your daughter- with us, we have an only child and not many aussie friends at all (not through not trying, we have one lovely couple who connect with us and have an only) and now that we have social things planned with our ex pat group our daughter has made a lot of new friends and loves it. but we've been here 2 years, pretty lonely at points. i hope you find happiness in your new place x

I had to laugh about chocolate tools! i always went for them in the penny sweet choices as they might've been 2p each but you got more for your money i thought

I do feel like a cliche here but i do have some great aussie friends- one i met in the Uk (and is the reason i moved here actually!) and one who has never left oz at any point. humans are variables but my point was that in a group scenario, British people on the whole i find easier to get along with and are less 'work'. i find the whole gender divide still going strong at many aussie socials and i find a lot of the conversation very shallow. of course there are educated and well travelled people everywhere, but on the whole, i find Brits a lot more accepting of others and yes, definitely a lot funnier and sharper. i have lived all over oz, with exposure to many places and it's people so i think i'm calling a fair shot here. i think overall it's the feeling i can be more myself with a group of brits. but that makes sense- it's the reason aussies all flock to the same bars in london- for a sense of cultural identity and ease of communicating.

I think it's gotta be better than the northern suburbs which is where we are currently......

thank you! i will post in there.

that is true- at 39 you are looking at needing to gain post degree work experience then find a way in. 45 is the real cut off for skilled migration. use the next few years wisely.

if you haven't already used your working holiday, that is something which can be utilised before you are 30-always good to know you can come over on the look out for employers. work experience in a managerial role is going to be crucial of course. 457s are a lot harder to get these days but not impossible if you have what they desperately need. childcare here is quite similar- lots of bigger chains and a few independents. personally i'd look for the bigger chains who would have more money. good luck.

if you are going to do a PGCE, consider long term what oz may need more of- unfortunately general primary is no longer in need, but special needs and a few specialised areas of secondary seem to remain in need. even though things can change in a heartbeat, it's worth considering what MAY still be in need. as to childcare- yes of course, you do need work experience but i can see that staying on as childcare is the same world over- understaffed and a growing industry. you cannot predict with certainty but if you've already done a degree, perhaps gain experience in that field- if you are young enough, you would then have time to do the PGCE if necessary etc- time is the factor. sadly we cannot predict the skills lists, but we can take an educated guess. as i said, special needs primary has stayed on there for a while now. just a thought.

ps. i think i have seen childcare centre manager on several of the State nomination lists, you'd have to check each state, but it could be another option.

if you are considering doing the GTP to gain QTS don't bother- it's not recognised here!!!! only england and wales. heads up due to a few teachers i know being declined. and once you have done the GTP you cannot go back to do the PGCE. a degree plus a PGCE is recognised overseas.

definitely do not see it here down in adelaide either- it's like the truman show- garages go up at 5pm, and then down till the next morning, not a soul about in between. I have to say that when i lived in rural nsw it was much more 'street' play based and we all hung out on our verandas till bed time- it was very cute and friendly- but, it's not the norm in the bigger cities. you have to be REALLY proactive in gaining new friends- speaking from experience here- it's hard work as an adult i find, most of our energies go on kids and work and the effort required to plug away at a social life a 2nd time around can come as quite a shock. but, if you want any sort of life here you have to 'work' it. i have been in adelaide 2 years (oz 9) and have only just started to make friends. yes, 2 years. and why- because i started to organise ex pat events! it's been fun, a lot of work, but at least we get out the house now and again for a social time. we have only really just started to get invitations to dinner/play after 2 years. 9 months is no time at all.

just after some advice- we have perhaps 12-18 months left in oz and we are currently living very far north due to my husbands job, which he will shortly leave, leaving us free to do whatever. we have met a few people down south and wondered if it's worth the hassle of having another 'go' in a beach suburb (it could persuade us to stay, who knows), or we may stay in the same spot. I have a child starting school in january and wondered what the feedback is for schools around port noarlunga? also on the general safety of the area? thanks all.

yes johndoe- that's definitely a service mentality- military personnel have to adapt a different outlook to get through the reality of being away from family for long periods and it becomes the norm. a lot of women crave being near their own blood relatives (and mum) once they have a child. this seems perfectly natural to me- we've operated like this for centuries. there's no shame in it- it's hard work during infancy and it's preferable to have practical help in the early days as well as a listening ear/reassurance. it's much harder if they are the other side of the world.

Yes, older parents are my main factor in returning. I have seen them age quickly in the last few years and they even find the journey here a lot harder. As much as i do prefer the weather here, I feel i owe them my time and time with their grandchild before they pop their cloggs. Not everyone feels like this, it depends how close to your parents you are. The UK visa is not easy- you will need to prove you've earned a certain amount in the 12 months prior plus have uk job lined up earning a certain amount. If he's got any british grandparents or european ones that is the easier option re ancestry visa or euro passport. otherwise, i sincerely add- do it now whilst child free. i have a close friend who is now stuck in oz with her aussie- even though she's a high earner, now with a young baby she has no way of 'getting him back' into the uk as she's the main carer. he is also a high earner but it means nothing in the current system. it is very discriminatory against british mothers wishing to return with their aussie spouses- so yes, return pre children and have them there. much easier!

true- if he thinks he'll be out all day surfing and fishing when kids are around.....big learning curve there lol

definitely have an adventure and give it a go; I'm sure you have paid enough money for it! I would say however that if you are that close to your families you may find it hard (speaking from experience) especially not having them close by. no one can predict the future sadly- i never though i'd be relocating back to the UK, but i'm afraid to say that i really do miss my parents too much. but, i've had a great adventure. as will you. whether you are in it for the long or short haul, only time will tell. risks are scary but so is living in fear. good luck!

Welcome. You're in a similar predicament to many 'mixed' marriages and I'm afraid there are no easy answers. Most couples tend to ping pom and if kids are going to be in the picture, think VERY carefully about where you do this- not only for the emotional and practical support but also as it has implications as to where they are legally residing. I think as you've done quite a bit of time here it's only fair he give it a go back there if you wish to have babies with your own family around you- you may need to work out a deal as to how long and when you could return to oz. I'm sorry there are no easy answers as it has broken many couples up but with a bit of give and take you can make it work. I'm dragging a bit of a reluctant hubby back to the UK but he can see that having grandparents and extended family will be of benefit with a young family- he has made me promise we will return to Oz at some point and I agree. If that is in 5 or 10 years, I don't know. all i know is- no easy answers. good luck x

Another weird thing I noticed was over the years (almost 10 for me here) is that my only 'real' aussie friends are ones who have spent extensive time in the UK- one was in London for 15 years the other has spent several periods over there. They are the only aussies I have any sort of emotional connection with and i think that's because I can be myself more and they 'get' a lot of subtle things which other aussie's may not. Anyway, it was very nice yesterday to hang with the Brits. My new friend, the aussie from london, also discussed this yesterday- although she has come 'home' she said it's pretty hard to re-integrate here and that she really misses UK culture and people and will head back in a few years. interesting.

So, yesterday I organised and hosted a British Christmas in July event, it seemed to go well and we had about 30 adults, 10 kids, some newly arrived, others longer term, myself included. I have never had many British friends (except when i lived in Perth, for obvious reasons, the place is full of poms) but the last 4 years I've predominantly been in the country or SA. All I can say is- British people are amazing to get along with! I have been thinking this how time how lonely i was, how it was hard to make friends cos I'm older now etc- whatever- it's crap- Brits are amazing conversationalists, funny, actually bloody listen to what you say, have interesting opinions and make an effort to get to know you. I have been trying to reason this out over the last few months- but there's no reason other than it must be a large cultural gap. A gap which i never used to think was important- I used to force myself to adopt aussie attitudes, humour, whatnot- i found it endearing, and different, but nowadays i think i find it really tiring, fake and annoying. Or, is it that if you meet other migrants here they make more of an effort as they too are a bit lonely? Whatever is the case, my husband (who has lived here most of his life) could not believe how easy it was to get along with all the poms. There was no machismo going on, no tall poppy syndrome- everyone just chipped in, genders and ages mixed and we all had a great time. It makes me a bit sad to admit that there is such a difference, after all, we all speak the same language and I do genuinely have some great aussie friends. But maybe i had to learn that you can't really change who you are or where you come from. British people are pretty groovy- we may like a whinge, moan about the weather etc but we do have some great traits. i for one feel very happy that it's not me, it's just that I'll never be anything other than British haha

i think as a blanket rule it's fair to say that most white goods are more expensive- i bought a new fridge and washing machine not so long ago (ah, finally after 9 years, a front loader! ) and was told by my visiting parents that they were double what they were in the uk.

good luck! i wanted to comment earlier but i have only just got a minute. i was thinking about your son- you know how children say one thing but really they mean another (such are humans, we are strange beasts). when he says he wants to live in oz with his dad, maybe what he is actually saying is that he misses his dad (esp as he's on the cusp of puberty and when boys naturally want to be around men)- and all that his dad represents ie growing into a young man, seeing friends with their dads etc. i think children say extreme things to get their point across and to be listened to but being children and not fully able to see the consequences/reality of situations, they want to push the point home. of course, i am sure maybe he does miss his dad and perhaps is wanting to venture out into the male world more- but perhaps deep down it's not that he wishes to move here (oz). Just wants to have his feelings of change and fear (of growing up, of starting secondary school etc) acknowledged. I don't want to comment as to whether his dad can provide him with what he needs but it's not like you would be able to check up on him once here, and i think, even if he finished school at 16 then came to oz, it's only a few short years. I know it must seem ages to him, but i think you may have to make that call for him. he might hate you in the short term, but when he's older he will see what you did. secondary schooling is so important as is stability during puberty. it's hard without siblings, i've got an only and i have to be mum and best friend, but if you could ask him if he wants to do new things- perhaps he wants to do more sports etc, who knows, to encourage his interests, it may bridge the gap. some kids don't bond with others at school but find their mateships in out of school activities. the other thing is perhaps he may like to talk to someone neutral about it- he must know that it's very emotional for you. adolescent psychologists can assist or counsellors etc. you're in a tight spot but it may pass. i bet he misses you loads when he visits here! and australia as you know isn't all surfing and what not- school is school and the same crap goes on here- i tell you what though, this parenting gig is tough! x

please also note that some agents operating in the UK are not registered- all agents operating in australia have to be legally registered with MARA.

Absolutely love it, been several times- lots to see their and absorb. Also a really beautiful spot.