nicandjay Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Well im back ! We moved out to oz last june but due to me and homesickness only lasted 7 months ! I know before everyone jumps it was wrong to give in at the first hurdle, but i also had taken a 12 month employment break in the UK... just in case . Now i can see wrong move !! So my dilemma is we really miss Oz but can we only see the good times and not the bad ? Should we move back or just be thankful for what we have here in the UK ? It seems so much more difficult 2nd time round.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Yuills Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 You poor things......your're dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. I would follow my heart and do what you want to do. If that means coming back to Oz then do it...yes after 2 or 3 years you may want to return to UK but really so what! If you are happy to do that then why not or it would always be what if. I realise this doesn't help you....but only you can make the decision. Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Curse of the expat! All the things that drove you back the last time are still here and at least you came with a belt and braces approach the last time. If you dont have that luxury the next time you tried it then you are really screwed. You still have some time before your visa expires, perhaps give your current situation a bit more time, look at your life with the different eyes you would look at a new place and see what happens. Australia is still going to be there - on the other side of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest michelledenham Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Hi, Yes there is alot to be said about timing! And if it's the wrong time then it's the wrong time... Nothing will change that. If it was sooooo wrong then you wouldn 't even be considering it again. We had the same thing happen to us, and 2 friends of ours. One frind only gave it 4months and wishes they had given it longer. The other friend was out there on a student visa with 4 kids, thus finacially it was just too hard... However, now they would do anything to get back out there. We came back and after 6months I knew we would be going back. I'm not saying that coming back was a mistake, as I got so low-I scared myself. We have now seen both sides... We know Perth, areas, jobs, systems, schooling, good+bad bits and we have some friends there too!!! Last time the whole thing was so scary and everything was so intense... The UK is our home but it isn't where we want to raise our kids..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Always give it at least 1 year before going home if you have the option. The recommended is 2. If you still hate every moment of it after that then maybe it's not for you :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Bless you, what a dilema. I would personally write a list of all the things you disliked about Oz and see if those issues can be rectified, for example if you didnt like the heat you could try a cooler state, if you didnt like the city try somewhere semi rural, etc etc. Of course homesickness will affect you wherever you go, and its blooming tough for the first few years but does get better with time. Only you and your family really know whats best, but heres sending you lots of luck for whatever you decide. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I wouldn't say that 'It seems so much more difficult 2nd time round..' It's not unusual for people to go back to the UK then return to OZ, determined to make it work the second time around. Come to think of it, this is MY second time around, although I would not use it as an example (hypocrite?) Just realized there is a nasty sequence developing - 24 years in UK, 18 in OZ, 12 years in UK, 3 years back in OZ, hope there is no 'law of six' operating with me. Talking about me as usual not you! Come back, don't worry. I heard a Pommie journo with 'The Economist' interviewed on ABC tonight, out here for a conference, say that he'd rather have Australia's economy than the US or Europe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicandjay Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 cheers guys I know only we can make that decision and we have been there and done it so why does it seem so daunting this time ? I read the posts on PIO and some are just so negative it really puts u off, i had a good job but like all things when you look on the doom side everything is wrong ! The children are up for moving back also ... so that in its self tells me they enjoyed it . I suppose if mums happy the family is happy For those who havent made the move well .... wait and see !! When you say 1 year it seems nothing but when your there everyday seems a lifetime.... you will understand once you move there. The UK is sinking and i know for a fact i dont want my children to face life here ..... so that answers my query really doesnt it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bazinga Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You have answered your own question but I disagree that the UK is sinking and you might find that Australia within the next 10 years would have headed the same way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicandjay Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 So Maryrose why have you ping ponged so many times ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misslilly Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hi Ping Pong! I'm facing pretty much the same thing as you. Moved to Oz when pregnant with first child and brand new hubby, he only lasted 4 months! I followed on some months later. 7 years on and another child in tow hubby says he is wanting to go but I'm too scared to make the move in case it ends up like last time and we come back, thousands ££££ lighter! As I'm always told you have to follow your heart, if you know what it's saying that is! For me I can't see myself in the UK when I'm old, but at the same time the move scares me to death! As you've said you're the only ones who can decide, just sit in the quiet and try to hear what your heart is telling you! Best of luck. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicandjay Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 I sit quietly to try find the answer and my heart argues with my head !!! So many positives so many negatives... In these times of economic crisis is it silly to even consider ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misslilly Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You sound just like me! One day I'm 'yep let's go for it, you only live once' next day I'm 'oooh can we afford to do it, will we get jobs or end up living in a tent'! Drives me nuts! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicandjay Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 same here !!! Its a nightmare of emotions :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dirtbagbaby Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Me too! don't know whether to ping or pong:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Its a difficult decision and I guess it really depends on what type of person we are. If we want to feel instantly that we belong in a new country then its fine. If we feel we are on the outside looking through the window maybe not. What people need to remember that the first generation of the family who emigrate may always feel that they do not belong, does not mean they cannot have a good life though and be happy. The satisfaction comes from knowing that the next generation will feel that they belong and seeing them settled with long term friends just like we had in the country we emigrated from. So are we doing it for us, or do we do it for the future guess that is the question. I had a funny childhood all over the place, I am a meld of mixed emotions but my joy comes from looking at my children who are now grown and happy here in Aus and they do not think of themselves as Brit even though we both are. They do not have the pull that we have to the mother country. Good luck with what you decide but remember its not easy moving across the world again and it takes time to make new friends and acquaintances and feel settled. Sorry cannot buy it in a packet or bottle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Its a difficult decision and I guess it really depends on what type of person we are. If we want to feel instantly that we belong in a new country then its fine. If we feel we are on the outside looking through the window maybe not. What people need to remember that the first generation of the family who emigrate may always feel that they do not belong, does not mean they cannot have a good life though and be happy. The satisfaction comes from knowing that the next generation will feel that they belong and seeing them settled with long term friends just like we had in the country we emigrated from. So are we doing it for us, or do we do it for the future guess that is the question. I had a funny childhood all over the place, I am a meld of mixed emotions but my joy comes from looking at my children who are now grown and happy here in Aus and they do not think of themselves as Brit even though we both are. They do not have the pull that we have to the mother country. Good luck with what you decide but remember its not easy moving across the world again and it takes time to make new friends and acquaintances and feel settled. Sorry cannot buy it in a packet or bottle. Good points! The first generation often has to do it tough. Whether the next generation hangs around here or heads off somewhere else in the world is really up to them and we can never know how that is going to turn out. So it is also quite possible that the first generation find themselves isolated once their kids have moved on. I suggest that the OP go back and read some of the posts made while still in Australia - I am guessing they wouldnt have been too happy otherwise the return wouldnt have happened. I wouldnt worry too much about UK, it's going to survive as it always has and Australia is part of the western world as well and if China sneezes we all catch cold. One first world country is very much like any other and if you have a good job in a nice place with a foot on the housing ladder then I dont really think this is a good time to be chucking it all in and gambling on this time being any better than the last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingpongpom2 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Well im back ! We moved out to oz last june but due to me and homesickness only lasted 7 months ! I know before everyone jumps it was wrong to give in at the first hurdle, but i also had taken a 12 month employment break in the UK... just in case . Now i can see wrong move !! So my dilemma is we really miss Oz but can we only see the good times and not the bad ? Should we move back or just be thankful for what we have here in the UK ? It seems so much more difficult 2nd time round.... Hi:smile:..ping bloody pong sums it up really!...being a boomerang pom is not easy and very unsettling..i was a ten pound pom in 1966, as a toddler and it really has never stopped for me, and now my hubbie and children..for me i don't think there is a 'set in stone' way to live your life..if you have children, as long as you are responsible and aware of them in these moves, that is all you can do..education, which i know worries people, when moving older children especially, is important, but education comes in many different forms..as much as it was hard moving schools for my children in the beginning, they now say as adults, they are so glad they had the experience of living in Australia..we are in the UK at the mo, and we have two older children here and one on his way back to Perth again (plus the bonus of our little Aus lad, who arrived much later in our lives!)..i was raised in Perth for 11 years, and it really has never left me, so i will always miss being away from there..my hubbie has struggled with homesickness, but has fallen for Aus, so now his home doesn't feel as much like home anymore..this is when it becomes difficult, because it can leave you feeling as if you don't belong anywhere..also it's not so bad when your children are young and they move with you, but as for us, when they become adults they make their own choices..i think for your own sake and sanity, if you go back, try if you can to settle and make it home..at the end of the day, if after giving it good thought, you decide to return, it will always be a risk and test of faith, but if my parents hadn't taken the risk all those years ago, then i and many in my family would never have had the benefits..and wonder of Aus:smile:..all the best x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 So Maryrose why have you ping ponged so many times ? You know what, I've spent an hour thinking about your question and I've typed and re-typed my answer half a dozen times. Most of my 'ping-pongs' have been holidays that 'luck' changed into long periods of residence. I came to OZ in 1978 on a working holiday and I only got permanent residence because the Aussie Govt announced an amnesty for illegal immigrants. I wasn't illegal, just here after the cut-off date. In 1996 I was retrenched after 15 years. I would never have quit so the silver lining was being able to go back and see my parents for an extended holiday. I got a temporary job with Royal Mail which became permanent. My Mum died after an accident and I decided to stay and look after my Dad. After he passed away I came back to Sydney mainly because my brother lives in Sydney. Lots of people on PIO say it's more their family than the country that they miss and that's the way it's been for me. I like both countries and can live in either but I've no family left in England so there's no reason to go any more. Hope I have not waffled too much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 We're about to 'pong' back to Australia in about 4 or 5 weeks, just got our 457 visa through this morning! Similarly to lots of expats we now do not feel totally at home anywhere, there will always be part of us that wants to live somewhere else (we also lived in Canada too....). But once you recognise that you will probably always have these feelings, in a way it makes decisions easier. We know we probably won't be going back to Australia forever, but we've made the decision to enjoy the time we spend there and if circumstances mean we want to move back to the UK then so be it. We are just working hard to try and build ourselves a safety net in terms of investments and savings to fall back on if needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cleopatra Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 We're about to 'pong' back to Australia in about 4 or 5 weeks, just got our 457 visa through this morning! Similarly to lots of expats we now do not feel totally at home anywhere, there will always be part of us that wants to live somewhere else (we also lived in Canada too....). But once you recognise that you will probably always have these feelings, in a way it makes decisions easier. We know we probably won't be going back to Australia forever, but we've made the decision to enjoy the time we spend there and if circumstances mean we want to move back to the UK then so be it. We are just working hard to try and build ourselves a safety net in terms of investments and savings to fall back on if needed. You have put into words exactly how we feel. Great post! We ping ponged back just over a year ago but know we will not be here forever. We have made tentative plans to move back to Europe in 4 or 5 years time. That doesn't mean we are not going to enjoy our time in Oz this time round. We stayed for 3 years the first time - I never settled mainly because I gave up a lot in the UK for not a lot here. Whereas my OH gained a lot from the move to Oz. I had a great job to go back to when we moved back to the UK and my OH also had work lined up but became very ill whilst we were over there and subsequently couldn't work. We struggled on my salary and my OHs health improved and out of the blue he got offered a job back in Oz. So back we came - me very reluctantly again but I have made changes to my life and have not made the same mistakes I made last time. I have a great job -doesn't pay much but keeps me out of mischief- and I am the only pom working with a lovely group of Ozzies and that has made such a difference. I've often wondered if I could turn the clock back would I have emigrated and knowing what I know now the answer is a resounding NO. I had already been educated in another country and lived and worked in 4 other countries so had had my "adventure". My OH hadn't lived anywhere else except the UK so he wanted to try something different. For us 2nd time round (well 3rd for me but that's another thread LOL) it is working better this time. It's not perfect and I still have terrible waves of homesickness but we are about to offer on a house and put down roots for the time we are here. Personally if I had a good job, house, family and friends I would not be giving that up to move to Australia at the current time. My OH's company get around 200 unsolicited emails a week from people asking for work. A part-time vacancy at my company attracted over 300 applications. Having said that I don't work in a skilled job and there are certain professions that are desperately needed here but the brutal truth is the economy is slowing down in Autralia despite all the hype from certain TV programmes. But I digress and to the OP just do what you feel is right because regardless of what anyone says you will know if it's the right decision for you. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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