Guest nigel77 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thought id just vent on here, since you lot are probably the only people who will understand where im coming from. Ive been in oz 4 years now, had a great life to start with, loads of friends from the backpacking days, but now, after being stuck in a nightshift job with mostly none english speaking people for 3 years, i have only 1 friend left and find it impossible to make new friends. I live on chapel street in melbourne, and dont enjoy life, most people at work think i must have the best life. nope. so after 2 breakups with GF`s this year and having to go through that totally by myself, i booked a flight back to the uk for a holiday. I kind of forgot how many friends i had there and family made it such a nice trip home. its so easy to forget what its like to have friends who you have grown up with who GET you, who understand you and your sense of humour. If you have them here, dont take them for granted, they are the reason you are happy, and make the biggest difference to your life. So what am i doing now. well i returned on Sunday and decided its time to go. I love melbourne, and still tell everyone i meet thats its the greatest city on earth, an also that i really dislike england, but it doesnt make a difference, a place i love with no one, or a place i dislike with friends and family i love, easy choice. now i have to work out all the hows and whens of moving back.....stress stress stress!!! anyways, just had to write that down and thanks if you read it if you took the time. i guess some will identify with some of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Sorry to hear that things haven't worked out for you Nigel. I hope you are happier back in the UK. Love Rudi x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 good luck to you ..its a big decision either way and not one people choose easily im sure .. the worlds a big place , you never know you may end up somwhere else in a few years ! You have to do whats right by you it is hard work making new friends here i agree .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thought id just vent on here, since you lot are probably the only people who will understand where im coming from.Ive been in oz 4 years now, had a great life to start with, loads of friends from the backpacking days, but now, after being stuck in a nightshift job with mostly none english speaking people for 3 years, i have only 1 friend left and find it impossible to make new friends. I live on chapel street in melbourne, and dont enjoy life, most people at work think i must have the best life. nope. so after 2 breakups with GF`s this year and having to go through that totally by myself, i booked a flight back to the uk for a holiday. I kind of forgot how many friends i had there and family made it such a nice trip home. its so easy to forget what its like to have friends who you have grown up with who GET you, who understand you and your sense of humour. If you have them here, dont take them for granted, they are the reason you are happy, and make the biggest difference to your life. So what am i doing now. well i returned on Sunday and decided its time to go. I love melbourne, and still tell everyone i meet thats its the greatest city on earth, an also that i really dislike england, but it doesnt make a difference, a place i love with no one, or a place i dislike with friends and family i love, easy choice. now i have to work out all the hows and whens of moving back.....stress stress stress!!! anyways, just had to write that down and thanks if you read it if you took the time. i guess some will identify with some of it. Good luck on moving back just make sure you leave the door open for your return maybe one day. I am yet to make the move so I cant indentify with your situation but have read plenty of homesick threads to know if you can get citizenship before you leave it will give you more options in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SusieOR Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thought id just vent on here, since you lot are probably the only people who will understand where im coming from.Ive been in oz 4 years now, had a great life to start with, loads of friends from the backpacking days, but now, after being stuck in a nightshift job with mostly none english speaking people for 3 years, i have only 1 friend left and find it impossible to make new friends. I live on chapel street in melbourne, and dont enjoy life, most people at work think i must have the best life. nope. so after 2 breakups with GF`s this year and having to go through that totally by myself, i booked a flight back to the uk for a holiday. I kind of forgot how many friends i had there and family made it such a nice trip home. its so easy to forget what its like to have friends who you have grown up with who GET you, who understand you and your sense of humour. If you have them here, dont take them for granted, they are the reason you are happy, and make the biggest difference to your life. So what am i doing now. well i returned on Sunday and decided its time to go. I love melbourne, and still tell everyone i meet thats its the greatest city on earth, an also that i really dislike england, but it doesnt make a difference, a place i love with no one, or a place i dislike with friends and family i love, easy choice. now i have to work out all the hows and whens of moving back.....stress stress stress!!! anyways, just had to write that down and thanks if you read it if you took the time. i guess some will identify with some of it. Good Luck to you & your trip back to Blighty... As long as you have given it your best shot, there is no regrets right!! Sx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 :hug: Sorry to hear you have had a rough time,, lots of luck with your return and heres hoping you find the happiness your looking for. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Nige, There are a good few members that are/have been in your situation, so you are not alone. PIO is a good place to vent your frustrations, there are plenty of listening ears out there. Good luck with your decision, ultimately your happiness has to come first. Best wishes Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Nigel. I wish you all the luck in the world mate, I really do, and to an extent I know where you are coming from. 'loneliness' is a huge hurdle to overcome, and if you as an individual feel that you need that connection to family and friends then go for your life mate, and good luck to you. Some confuse loneliness with 'solitude', but they are two completely different animals mate, one is a gut wrenching ache that is very difficult to overcome and the other a place where many are happy, including me at times. Good luck on your return mate, and I truly hope you find your 'Mojo' once again, onwards and upwards matey, all the best to you. Cheers Tony.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nigel77 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 thanks for the fast responses and kind words, it does actually help alot. Tony your so right, solitude i like at times, time to think, but for me the solitude just turned to lonliness, and just feel constantly physically sick now. I wish i did have an option to return, as who knows, this could be the big mistake, im pretty sure its not, but..... im on a 457 visa and work wont sponsor me for residency, so if i leave, i guess its gonna be very hard for me to get back. My moto for life has always been "risk and regret. do i regret risking it, or risk regretting it." I would rather make a mistake and at least know it was the wrong decision rather than alwasy wonder what would have happened if i had risked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 thanks for the fast responses and kind words, it does actually help alot.Tony your so right, solitude i like at times, time to think, but for me the solitude just turned to lonliness, and just feel constantly physically sick now. I wish i did have an option to return, as who knows, this could be the big mistake, im pretty sure its not, but..... im on a 457 visa and work wont sponsor me for residency, so if i leave, i guess its gonna be very hard for me to get back. My moto for life has always been "risk and regret. do i regret risking it, or risk regretting it." I would rather make a mistake and at least know it was the wrong decision rather than alwasy wonder what would have happened if i had risked it. Like the moto and its one I think alot of us come up with when deciding to take our families half way across the world. Its a shame about not being able to keep the door open so just make sure your doing the right thing and not just having a down day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 I wish i did have an option to return, as who knows, this could be the big mistake, im pretty sure its not, but..... im on a 457 visa and work wont sponsor me for residency, so if i leave, i guess its gonna be very hard for me to get back. Sorry to hear that you are struggling M8. It sound to me that your anti-social hours are the problem. Would it not be possible to do Dayshift for a while, to see if it helps before jetting off home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Only me again Nigel. Mindsets mate are a very important part of being 'human', though we cannot see any real visible symptoms of a particular mindset they do in no small measure RULE your life. Outwardly we may seem 'normal' (whatever that is, :goofy:) but inside the turmoil and sadness we are feeling is tantamount to a nightmare. Words such as 'chin up', 'there's light at the end of the rainbow' I would imagine are fairly insignificant to you at the moment, your mindset is one of loneliness and to an extent a sense of not 'belonging' which is a huge part of life, let alone in a foreign country. Sometimes the old head rules the heart mate, and in this instance I would imagine it is your heart screaming at you to get back, nothing wrong in that mate. You can ONLY ever make a decision based on the way you feel NOW, and if that means you returning to blighty then so be it. Who knows, it could be the best thing you have ever done, or it may be filled with hurdles and obstacles, either way mate, for your sanity you need to do this. The most important thing mate is this, don't go down a road where you can not see a way out of, if this happens you will find your rationale and logical thought goes out of the window, do what is right for YOU. There have been many posts in this thread, and all very valid mate, take note indeed, because a lot of what your saying is exactly what others have felt as well mate. But for your sanity at this moment in time go with your gut instinct and get back asap, on that note there are hundreds of people on here who have done the same, if you ever want to ask advice, scream, rant, cry post it on here mate, the VAST majority will be understanding and give you ALL the support you may need. Cheers Tony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nigel77 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 tony if you were here i would seriously give you a hug :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 tony if you were here i would seriously give you a hug :-) No worries Nigel. But I warn you, I have recently given out a lot of hugs mate, (in a cyber way) and I was told that my lower body came way too close to the other fellas,:shocked: and I had to speak about rugby at the same time in a gruff voice,:embarrassed:. Seriously though Nigel, go for your life mate. Good luck to you my friend,:yes::yes:. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thought id just vent on here, since you lot are probably the only people who will understand where im coming from.Ive been in oz 4 years now, had a great life to start with, loads of friends from the backpacking days, but now, after being stuck in a nightshift job with mostly none english speaking people for 3 years, i have only 1 friend left and find it impossible to make new friends. I live on chapel street in melbourne, and dont enjoy life, most people at work think i must have the best life. nope. so after 2 breakups with GF`s this year and having to go through that totally by myself, i booked a flight back to the uk for a holiday. I kind of forgot how many friends i had there and family made it such a nice trip home. its so easy to forget what its like to have friends who you have grown up with who GET you, who understand you and your sense of humour. If you have them here, dont take them for granted, they are the reason you are happy, and make the biggest difference to your life. So what am i doing now. well i returned on Sunday and decided its time to go. I love melbourne, and still tell everyone i meet thats its the greatest city on earth, an also that i really dislike england, but it doesnt make a difference, a place i love with no one, or a place i dislike with friends and family i love, easy choice. now i have to work out all the hows and whens of moving back.....stress stress stress!!! anyways, just had to write that down and thanks if you read it if you took the time. i guess some will identify with some of it. G'Day Nige. Decisions like the one you just made aren't made lightly. Your next stop is only the next step in your young life and who knows one day you could be back in Australia if that's what takes your fancy. Relationship break ups are emotional, even us older blokes can relate, so chin up son, onward and upwards etc. Cheers. Syd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inthedeep Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 It's posst like this that makes me wonder if this will this be me in a years time!? Been here 15 months now and i am so with you on loving here more than the UK (Funnily enough from Newcastle too) .. was feeling v low the other week and desperately wanted a trip home, but have had a seperate holiday and that pang has faded (for now) .. i think i keep putting off a trip back to the UK for fear of realising that i had so many friends and the family of course .. compared to the 2 or 3 that i've found here .. and even then .. the friendships here really dont compare I absolutely love living in Port Melbourne, bought 2 pups which have helped me settle but my partners job takes him away alot and so iot's a bit of a lonely existance. Work wise .. 180 people in the office i work at and i really havemnt connected with any Don't get me wrong i love how friendly aussies are, but it's so tought to get past the whole colleague / friend thing .. i don't think i can be bothered anymore Good luck fella! Ste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 :hug::hug: life's a b*tch without people you love in it so all the best with the next step in your life adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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