cartertucker Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I really want to hear from anyone that has had doubts about making their permanant move to Australia :unsure: Would love to hear the experiences of those that didnt go following these doubts & those that made the move anyway Thankyou in advance :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tandcmum Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 yes we have had doubts and have not made the move yet. I turned down a job offer 2 years ago due to doubts and worries about financnes etc. I wish we had taken the job now and just got on with it as it was at a time when nursing registration was easier and PR visas were easier to get, however the time wasn';t right and so we didnt at the moment i am trying to get a sponsorship job but yes we still have doubts, but things have taken a turn for the worse for us in the UK and we are sort of in the mind that we may as well go and give it ago as we really don't have anything to lose (no house to sell, hubby not working and can't get work, no prospects of buying a house etc, good nursing job at moment but worries about reductions and not much chance of any promotion further cos of it etc) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 We have doubts about the move, i would have thought most people were the same, some more than others. Our doubts are wether we will miss our family too much and be really effected by it and it must be the same for everyone. We have been to Australia twice, Perth and Brisbane which helped us in the fact that both places were great and it would be amazing living in either place. We are in limbo at present, i still want to go, but the wife is uncertain at present, but we have until November 2014 before our 175 visa runs out and i am confident we will give it a go, fingers crossed, if not i have a great life here in the uk, we are really lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Natty T Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hi Kelly, hope your ok. We have just put our house on the market and are hoping to move Jan 12 as we don't want to validate, it would cost us too much being a family of 6. I think up to now i have been swept along with the romance of it all and being the one who has done all the paperwork i haven't really thought about anything else. We spent time with friends on Good Friday and after a few drinks Steve said to us Don't go to Oz we will miss you. I nearly cried as i thought what we are going to do. now with the house on the market which made me feel sick when we had done it and friends asking when we are going i'm having lots of wobbly moments. I know its the right thing and i do want to go but feel a bit like i'm crumbling. Whats making you feel like this as you went and validated, has something changed your mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Thankyou to all for the great posts so far :cute: Whats making you feel like this as you went and validated, has something changed your mind? I think that we are having doubts because: *Went at the hottest time we possibly could have choosen! *My Hubby was told that he will be working harder & longer hours in Australia (he already owns his own roofing company here&we were hoping he could have more Family time in Australia) *Our youngest was ONLY 3 months old & the reccie was so stressfull *Our middle Son is really worried about the spiders & snakes...To a point where he comes to ask me 'did I take this pair of trousers to Australia'...If he did, he will check them for redbacks! :swoon: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GoldCoastMag Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I had lived in oz over 20 years and after the last 5 in the USA and the stress of securing a visa, packing and shipping everything, leaving family and friends, the finality of leaving what we knew there was still scary! I dont think you would be normal to have no doubts, but if you never go, you will never know. good luck with whatever you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saz71 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It's a big move to make so having doubts is perfectly natural. I had a major wobble last weekend despite it being me from the beginning really pushing to do it and driving the process to get my husbands skills assessed and state sponsorship. I began stressing about whether we should continue with our 176 app as worry if for some reason we never make the move it will a big chunk of money wasted. I think for me it's that everything has moved quicker than I expected although ironically we needed it to due to needing to apply before 1st July. This is our last chance to do it so we figured we should go for it and we've always said we need to get ourselves straighter financially here before we make the final move so it's not like we're going to leave overnight. I am more pro-Oz this weekend :laugh: so I guess it's swings and roundabouts and I'm sure it'll get worse before we finally go! My husband is more laid back and his view is that because we're planning on keeping our house here we've always got an escape route and lets see it as an adventure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mallam Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It ia a massive move and I am certain everyone has doughts at some time, but look at the great Cou8ntry you are going to and enjoy.:cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hi Kelly, Everyone has doubts, we had ours and you know how it turned out for us!...I guess you have to ask yourself how big your doubts are? You have the benefit of a reccie behind you, yes it was super hot when you were here but the reality is its very hot for quite a few weeks of the year (but its also mild and lovely for quite a few weeks too!) You only got a snapshot....have you done pros and cons? Did you love it here overall? Did you feel relaxed and 'at home'? Are you anxious and jittery about the forthcoming move or excited but occasionally nervous? Lots of questions to ask yourself but look deep inside and your heart will tell you what you probably already know xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 The biggest wobble I had was when the VISA came through. I called my mum crying and said "Does this mean I have to go now???" I left 2 weeks later and never looked back! Wobbles are good! Shows your human! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Karengriffin Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hi i came across this forum today, and found it comforting to read the same doubts i am having (mainly about leaving friends and family) other people are going through as well. We have just got back from a week in Oz, we went north of Brisbane to a place called Narangba (my hubbie has an uncle living there) and we travelled around all of the local places and up the sunshine coast. We only had a week to see what the place was like, as we have 2 really young children, so thankfully Grandparents offered to have them for a week while we did as much research as we could. Going over i had lots of doubts- mainly would my hubbie find work (painter and decorator) the cost of living and the weather. I also had concerns about snakes, redbacks, sharks etc- but since i have been there and having seen for myself how the australian people live, some of them have lived there for years and never seen a snake! The beachs are patrolled, so if there are sharks people are told to come out of the water (this very very rarely happens according to our uncle) redbacks are there but just be careful not to pick up anything that has been lying around in the garden for a while! I didnt even see a huntsman! There seems to be work around for all trades, but the cost of living seems to be high. i think it depends where you shop etc just like here, but you can get on relatively cheaply if you want to. Another thing that i found was that compared to England, where our culture is going out to restaurants and bars, shopping etc- everything is alot more outdoor orientated, camping going to the beach, cooking on gas bbqs so i think in the long run you would not spend as much money as what you would here. I met several poms, all said they loved it out there and would never go back! We want the best for our kids, we have seen what it is really like; we loved it and will now be starting the process applying for a family sposored visa. The big problem we have is our entire family do not want us to go; which is making us feel like we always have something to prove to them when talking about our trip to oz, trying to convince them how nice it was- just so we can some how get their blessing? Is anybody else going through the same thing? We have explained we are doing this to better our lives, and to have a better life style for our children- but our family still arent supportive :sad: Makes going even harder! All i can say, if you have massive doubts- just think to yourself you only have one life so make the most of it, if it doesnt work out you can always come back :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cots Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 We are going through similar feelings. We got our visa in Feb and the house is on the market and I have since said to both our families that as much as it is comforting to know that they don't want us to go, and it would awful if they couldn't care less, we don't want to hear it from them anymore as it is too hard to handle. We have wobbles, actually I have wobbles, OH claims not to as he is always saying what a great thing it is we are doing etc, which it is, but I can't help but feel bad for our families as we are so close and my Mum particularly cares for our twins whilst I work and has seen them more or less 7 days a week for their 3 years of life. You can't blame your families for not wanting you to go, it must be so hard and I put myself in their shoes in years to come when my children may decide to return to live here!!! I will be devastated! But I just keep thinking this is a massive adventure and we have to go it a go for us and although it will take time for all of us to adjust, I am sure everyone, Grandparents etc, will get used to it and see it is for the best in the long run. If it doesn't work out in Oz?? We will come back and blend it like we never left and probably regret it within weeks but at least it won't hang over us like a huge regret for years to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l1sa Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I also had concerns about snakes, redbacks, sharks etc- but since i have been there and having seen for myself how the australian people live, some of them have lived there for years and never seen a snake! The beachs are patrolled, so if there are sharks people are told to come out of the water (this very very rarely happens according to our uncle) redbacks are there but just be careful not to pick up anything that has been lying around in the garden for a while! I didnt even see a huntsman! :smile: We've been waiting to go for ages now!! We started the process in 08 and we were granted our visa in 09 and have been there twice. I go through phases of being desperate to go and being terrified. My OH made a comment this week, that if a particularly big job of his doesn't come off in the next couple of weeks, we'll go this summer! At which point I was nearly sick!!! And I've been the one doing all the pushing up till now! It seems an easy thing to think about when you know you can't go just yet and it will happen at some point in the future, but when that future hits... its like....Oh sh7t, you mean I am actually doing this!! As for your post Karen, :biggrin:I appear to have been quite unlucky! On one of my trips, I had a huntsman run over my foot, the redbacks were multiplying underneith the patio table and we were called out of the sea by the shark spotter plane!! And we were only there 3 weeks! But hey, its a good job its not the indiginous wildlife that fazes me!!But on the positive, I didn't see a snake (well not a live one anyway!) Good Luck to everyone, and remember, we wouldn't be human if we didn't stress about the unknown!!:err: Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 Im so glad im 'normal' :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirfyduo Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 You have to have a few wobbles - it's part and parcel of moving. :tongue: I guess it also shows that you are taking the move seriously and perhaps are not expecting it to be all roses when you get to Aus. Few people can just up and go somewhere without any concerns. (Pommypaul doesn't count!!!! He is just a nutter!!:hug:) I guess I am the glass half empty type - expect the worse (hence the wobbles - sleepless nights in my case:SLEEP:) and hope for the best. In some ways I feel it is better to have the worries while you are in the UK with your family / friends / in your comfort zone than it is to get the wobbles when you get to Aus. In my case, I found out that while it is hard, it is not half as bad as I thought it could / would be.:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCoyles Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 We had no doubts before leaving as we had nothing to lose. It was 2007 when we decided to go, property prices in Northern Ireland were high, we both had good jobs in the Council and Health Service but still couldn’t afford to buy a house and we weren’t getting anywhere. Our son was born in July 07 and we had lots of time to return to Ireland if we didn’t like it before he started school. We left in June 08 but our doubts set in more after we got here, the differences were so hard to get used to. I hated my job and the 2 other people in my team are the strangest people I have ever met. Our neighbours were unfriendly and downright rude at times. Property prices fell in Northern Ireland by the start of 2009 and I had real doubts about staying in Melbourne. We were both working full time, travelling over an hour each way to work as opposed to 20 minutes and our son was in crèche 5 days a week, where was the increase in family time and the friendly Aussies! I drove away from the crèche so many times into the traffic jams with a tear in my eye thinking if we were at home I wouldn’t be doing this at 06:30! Why the hell did we do this, how can’t this be a better life. We had paid at $20,000 deposit on some land in December, due to settle and be ready to build on by March so we thought we go ahead with the plan to build our house as we were entitled to the $32,000 first home owners grant. I changed companies to one owned by the Commonwealth Bank and was able to get staff benefits and some great advice. Our land was delayed and delayed until November 2009 and we finally moved into our new home in July 2010 and had another baby in December 2010. I changed jobs again and now only travel 20 minutes to work so don’t have to drop the kids into crèche so early in the morning. My wife only works until 4 and gets home early enough for us both to have time with the kids in the evening. Our new neighbours are fantastic and we have quality time with the kids, we have made some nice friends and got over the initial migration bump, still on the other side and not quite back to the same financial situation we were in before, due to the costs of setting up a house, but at least we have one of our own. Really glad we battled through the hard times and didn’t give in to our doubts, for us it was well worth it now and we are a stronger couple for it. Sometimes you just have to be strong and make things happen, I searched and persisted to get a job that fitted my lifestyle better and made the effort to make friends. I didn’t come all this way to just settle for something that didn’t make me happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest33730 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I would be amazed if anybody could honestly say they haven't questioned their move in some way or other however to me I think the real question is how may of these questions relate to moving to Australia and not say a move to another town in the UK etc. The real issue about the move to Australia is the fact that everything happens at once i.e. new house, new culture, new job, new friends plus all the logistics of actually getting there i.e. selling/buying house, cars, permits, visas, etc. Any one of these things is stressful enough but putting them all together makes emigrating one of the most stressful things a person/family can do - If you then combine that with a bit of fear of the unknown and financial concerns then it can be enough to send some over the edge. Australia is a fantastic country but it has it's problems like any other and it often makes me smile (or scream) when I read posts from people trying to compare it to living in the UK. Many of the complaints I read could equally be written by people moving within the UK from say a Scottish Island to an inner city or from London to Cardiff etc. So in my mind the best thing to do when the jitters come is to question why you want to make the move i.e. job, lifestyle, adventure, weather etc and then do as much research as possible as to whether Australia really can offer that over and above where you are currently. I do not believe that a move to Australia will 'cure' other personal issues such as marriage difficulties - these things need to be dealt with prior to moving as the pressure of emigrating will heighten this kind of thing. So yes the jitters will come before you go but I have also found myself having jitters since arriving 10 months ago. I often weigh up whether we have done the right thing especially as things have not quite worked out as we had expected (not worse but just not as expected). In my case, each time I ask myself the question of whether we did the right thing the answer is an emphatic yes but I can equally see how some people will get here and quickly decide it's not for them. The best advice I can give is listen to those who have done the journey before you and understand it takes two years before you really feel settled and therefore expect to feel unsettled for those two years - it doesn't mean you won't still go home after that but if you understand it's normal it may help you get through to a point where things begin to change. Daniel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Great advice Daniel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry & Melanie Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I totally agree with Daniel..... I had doubts before we got the visa, I had doubts when we were selling the house, I had doubts the day we got on the plane. I still have doubts on my 'Off' days. However on my 'On' days I am certain I did the right thing. But I obviously had doubts about my previous life in the UK.....otherwise i wouldnt have moved in the first place. This is such a HUGE thing that it would be bizare if you didnt have doubts. Melanie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCoyles Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Good posts by Daniel and Melanie. When you think about it you would never try to acheive all those one off things in a short time if you were to continue to live in your home town. On paper it seems like a bad idea to upsticks and move the other side of the world, but you make decisions with your heart not your head and thats how you will decide if you like it or not. As Daniel said moving here wont fix all your problems, for the first few years it will give you more. Everyone has a different experience and worries and seems to go through the same stages of emotions. But good to know that what you are feeling is the same as everyone else and perfectly normal. Wish I had of used this site when we were first moving, would have make things a lot easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogaloo Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I had doubts at every step of the visa process and still do on off days - we had a lovely home, kids were happy - I had a good job but OH wanted to move and work in better weather (he is a brickie) We have now been in Perth for 6 months and whilst it is tough - as everyone has said before me - you are making so many changes to your life in a place where you know no one but it is so satisfying learning new things together as a family and when you start your new job and fit in and you meet new friends and see your kids coming out of school laughing with their new friends! We love it here - the weather is great, it is autumn here now but still the weather is good, we do work hard but the aussies know how to play hard! We spend a lot more time outdoors and the beaches are amazing! We just wish we had done it sooner! Just think of it as an amazing adventure that gives you all strength of character! Enjoy!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest VickyMel Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 :hug: for you Kelly :wubclub: can you maybe give yourself a bit of time to think things through. You have validated now - why not sit back enjoy a bit of life in the UK and think about it again next year - another year in the UK may help you decide better, maybe even another trip over to Oz just to double check. Take some of the pressure off of having to make a decision right now. Yes your OH may be working harder for a while - but in the long run if he has his own business in the UK I imagine he would quickly move on to that in Oz. You will get used to the weather and it was the hottest time of year, if it is too much for you you can come and be my neighbour in Melbourne - or we can swop SS's and states :wink: as you know one of my worries is the chill of Melbourne after being in the heat so long. :hug: and we thought the stressful period was when we were being mucked around by DIAC - it actually gets a lot more scary and stressful once it becomes real! Maybe take a step back rather than pushing yourself too much on this. Vicky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I really cant tell you how much I appreciate everyones posts :cute: Thankyou all so very much :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 We have just been asked for our meds and police checks, seems we have been wanting and waiting for so long, and then all of a sudden things are moving forward at a fast rate of knots. Reality is starting to take hold. We have a good life here and Im selling my business and have to start all over again in Oz. SO im not leaving for a better standard of living. Im leaving for a differnt life, with new challenges, new friends, and a new perspective. A chance in a lifetime. But my doubts, are tiny compared to my hopes and dreams. Lifes an adventure, and its easy to stay with what you know. I have a wonderful wife and three lovely daughters, who all cant wait to make the move with us, even my 17 year old is buzzing about it. Were a bit sad to be selling our lovely house, but I know we can make a lovely home down under. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sebbers Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Hi Kelly, I had my first real wobble when we had found a buyer for the house and that feeling of 'what have we done' only got stronger as our moving date got closer. Emma will tell you there were days when I was at work and would ring her in floods of tears as the doubts I was having about the move were really affecting me. I was the driving force behind the move pushing Darren for skills assessment etc., but when it came down to it I was a wreck. I started to notice things more with my young nieces and nephews and would cry at the thought of not seeing them grow up, things I wouldn't have even given a second thought had we not been moving. I did at times feel like we'd backed ourselves into a corner and that we just had to move even if we didn't really want to as I'd been 'banging' on about it to my friends and family for so long, although they'd have been happy for us to stay. We have been here 6 wks now and for those that are friends with me on f/b they know we haven't had an easy time of it. Darren loves it here started work after being here for a week, Danny was struggling until he started school but he loves it now apart from the lack of socialising after 6.30pm lol, Charlotte is really finding it hard as it's proving difficult for her finding a job and me well it's not a place I'd call home, well not yet anyway and if I'm totally honest I won't start to call it home until I know the kids are settled. We have had problems finding a long term rental as we brought our two small dogs over, I've resolved that issue now and we move into our new rental on Monday, so hopefully, once we have our stuff delivered and have familiar things around us then things may start to settle down. I'm not expecting it to iron out all the cracks but do think it will help. I do think at times we could have made a very big expensive mistake but I would have spent the rest of my life kicking myself thinking 'what if' had we not done it. I am in this for the long haul and am going to give it 100% and if it doesn't work out here then so what at least we gave it a bloody good go! I really do think it depends on the individual and what you feel is right for you and your family. I for one do see our future here looking beyond the doubts I still have, however, who knows what the future holds but as it stands the prospects for our two children are alot better here than they were in England and like us I expect your main reason for moving was for your children. Well I apolosie for the chapter and verse reply but it is a true picture of where we are at, at the moment. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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