You must be mad!

[Conniebygaslight]

Just wanted to start a thread to see if anyone wanting to MBTTUK, previously thought returning Brits must be mad and thought 'that wont be me'- before they actually came to Oz themselves and has it made you more empathetic with different opinions regarding other things.....?

[eammon]

I definitely thought this wouldn't be me. I was going to move to Oz and love it here... not feel homesick at all, so confident was I that I said to Eammon before moving out we should give it at least two years to ensure we settled, thinking he would be the one missing home. How those words have come to bite me in the foot.

Eammon absolutely loves it here, me? I know we only been here just over 3 months, but I am missing home so much and really can't see myself settling here long term. I definitely understand now where people are coming from when they say they want to go back to the UK and finding it difficult to settle

 

Denise

[Guest Aldo]

Good thread..

 

I remember working with some painters and decorators just before going to Aus and them telling me i was mad to leave marbella to work in Aus (They had just got back from Perth). I was defending the place saying yeah but this and yeah but that and i wouldn't have a bad word said about the place.... Even an aussie i used to work with said I was mad! but no, i new better..

Anyway the bottom line is you need to find these things out for yourself or you'll allways wonder what if?

[ali]

I've never wanted to return to the UK since arriving, however, reading peoples threads has probably changed the way I reply. I used to say that perhaps they needed longer, whereas now my answer is life's too short to be unahappy. I can't be truly empathic because I've never had thoughts of returning, i've missed people but I haven't truly missed living in the UK and therefore not felt that i've been homesick in anyway.

[Conniebygaslight]

I definitely thought this wouldn't be me. I was going to move to Oz and love it here... not feel homesick at all, so confident was I that I said to Eammon before moving out we should give it at least two years to ensure we settled, thinking he would be the one missing home. How those words have come to bite me in the foot.

Eammon absolutely loves it here, me? I know we only been here just over 3 months, but I am missing home so much and really can't see myself settling here long term. I definitely understand now where people are coming from when they say they want to go back to the UK and finding it difficult to settle

 

Denise

 

Oh Denise- I was exacty the same- 'we will give it 2 years' when we arrived in Jan but we smply can't afford to be unhappy for that long and have decided to return either Sept or January, we have ties here which will be difficult but we know we don't want to be here, luckily both of us feel the same way and need to go back before the chidren are too settled.

 

You do have to try it as Aldo said to appreciate what other people are going through- I for one will be much less judgemental of the UK too when we get back- the media has a lot to answer for.

 

Your status is elated-have things changed or is that your husband's?

:hug:

[Guest chris955]

The media I feel is 75% responsible for creating this ridiculous 'broken Britain' nonsense so regardless of how good a persons life is they are made to feel they shouldn't be satisfied.

[Conniebygaslight]

The media I feel is 75% responsible for creating this ridiculous 'broken Britain' nonsense so regardless of how good a persons life is they are made to feel they shouldn't be satisfied.

 

You know Chris about a year ago, my frind and I in the Uk conducted an experiment- we had to not watch the news or listen to or read a news paper for 2 weeks and see how we faired.

 

We were both amazed at how physically difficult it was to do- not only because we sometimes felt completely out of touch (although we both agreed that was a nice cosy feeling) but we couldn't believe how we are drip fed the bad news wthout lookin for it. It was nearly impossible to miss- we had to cover our ears and eyes to the constant barrage of doom and gloom. This a real problem I think- there are even cameras with our troops fighting wars.

 

I agree that it is important to be informed but the media really has a downer on the UK. I think it's the same here though to be honest but the Aussies seem to be really proud of their country- something that is to admire I think.

 

The UK would be a better place if we all moved away and then moved back lol

[theonetruechris]

Friends moved out here a couple of years before us, saw them on their first trip back and they said they weren't sure if they would stay out here or not - I thought why not you must be mad, now I'm here I do dream of the time when i"ll return to the motherland (not now maybe not later but definately at some point).

[Addy]

13 months in and we wouldn't return to the UK to live from choice at the moment. However we don't hate the Uk and didn't leave because we thought it was going down the swannee. We left for an adventure and to experience life in a different country. We have a small business still running in the Uk and a property which is let out and we can return to. Perhaps because we have a safety net, we feel differently?

 

When we came out, we agreed that if we didn't enjoy our life here or if things went wrong, we would return to the UK. That may still happen. I would never tell some one they are 'mad' for wanting to return to the Uk as it has a lot going for it. I think there are too many variables to say who won't settle and who will return. The whole thing is a risk and that is something that prospective migrants should embrace as part of the experience. Those that return, do so with greater self knowledge and a different perspective on the World.

 

I think those who defend either the UK or Australia to hilt by knocking the other country are deluding themselves. Neither place is perfect and we all try to find the place which suits us the best.

[Conniebygaslight]

13 months in and we wouldn't return to the UK to live from choice at the moment. However we don't hate the Uk and didn't leave because we thought it was going down the swannee. We left for an adventure and to experience life in a different country. We have a small business still running in the Uk and a property which is let out and we can return to. Perhaps because we have a safety net, we feel differently?

 

When we came out, we agreed that if we didn't enjoy our life here or if things went wrong, we would return to the UK. That may still happen. I would never tell some one they are 'mad' for wanting to return to the Uk as it has a lot going for it. I think there are too many variables to say who won't settle and who will return. The whole thing is a risk and that is something that prospective migrants should embrace as part of the experience. Those that return, do so with greater self knowledge and a different perspective on the World.

 

I think those who defend either the UK or Australia to hilt by knocking the other country are deluding themselves. Neither place is perfect and we all try to find the place which suits us the best.

 

 

Here here!

[eammon]

Oh Denise- I was exacty the same- 'we will give it 2 years' when we arrived in Jan but we smply can't afford to be unhappy for that long and have decided to return either Sept or January, we have ties here which will be difficult but we know we don't want to be here, luckily both of us feel the same way and need to go back before the chidren are too settled.

 

You do have to try it as Aldo said to appreciate what other people are going through- I for one will be much less judgemental of the UK too when we get back- the media has a lot to answer for.

 

Your status is elated-have things changed or is that your husband's?

:hug:

 

I agree with you and I really wish I could convince Eammon to come home, but he has really settled here and wants to give it the two years, so we can say at least we (I) tried it and gave it a fair chance. Me, on the other hand, would book those flights tomorrow given the chance. Two years seems such a long time.

 

Aldo is right, I think you do have to try it (although I find myself wishing on many occassions that I'd left it just as a dream) otherwise we just would never know, but I don't think I appreciated just what I had back home. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with Australia or putting it down in anyway, its just not for me.

Good luck with your move back to the UK.

Denise xxx

ps - it was Eammons status - changed it to mine now xxx

[Conniebygaslight]

I agree with you and I really wish I could convince Eammon to come home, but he has really settled here and wants to give it the two years, so we can say at least we (I) tried it and gave it a fair chance. Me, on the other hand, would book those flights tomorrow given the chance. Two years seems such a long time.

 

Aldo is right, I think you do have to try it (although I find myself wishing on many occassions that I'd left it just as a dream) otherwise we just would never know, but I don't think I appreciated just what I had back home. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with Australia or putting it down in anyway, its just not for me.

Good luck with your move back to the UK.

Denise xxx

ps - it was Eammons status - changed it to mine now xxx

 

 

How are your kids settling in- 2 years will be a long time for them and they will be very settled then wont they- oh crumbs....Good luck denise- it's so hard isn't it xx

[eammon]

How are your kids settling in- 2 years will be a long time for them and they will be very settled then wont they- oh crumbs....Good luck denise- it's so hard isn't it xx

 

Grace has settled really well, but she is only 8 and I think she would be happy wherever we were, Kerry is finding it a bit harder and would get on the plane home tomorrow too, given the chance, However she knows we've agreed to give it two years and when you ask her how she is, she says 'she's okay for now' Her plan is to return to the UK and hopefully carry out her A-Levels. She will finish Year 12 and her exams here in November/December 2012 and would have been due to start her A-Levels in September 2012 in the UK.

 

It is so hard..... and I do keep questioning what have I done..... but I can't undo it now, so I am just going to need to make the best out of it as I can for now I guess xxx

[Guest mozziebite]

Corina, I am one of the worst offenders on this one! I really thought I would be okay here, dismissed people as 'boring' inside my head who went on about how big a move it was, thought I would settle easily but have shocked myself at how much I have pined to go back home! I told people joking that if we don't like it we will just come home again - and that's exactly whats happened!

 

Have had many emails and messages from people saying 'sorry it didn't work out for you'.....hey I'm not sorry at all, better to have come and tried it. First thing on the list when I get back - find an old country pub for a bar meal, second is book my pantomine - stupid little things I have missed, and lets face it Christmas here, its just not the same is it, I must have been the only Brit to be gutted to have missed all that snow they had....

[Conniebygaslight]

Corina, I am one of the worst offenders on this one! I really thought I would be okay here, dismissed people as 'boring' inside my head who went on about how big a move it was, thought I would settle easily but have shocked myself at how much I have pined to go back home! I told people joking that if we don't like it we will just come home again - and that's exactly whats happened!

 

Have had many emails and messages from people saying 'sorry it didn't work out for you'.....hey I'm not sorry at all, better to have come and tried it. First thing on the list when I get back - find an old country pub for a bar meal, second is book my pantomine - stupid little things I have missed, and lets face it Christmas here, its just not the same is it, I must have been the only Brit to be gutted to have missed all that snow they had....

 

Mozziebite,

 

You are not alone- we were there in the snow as we only came end Jan- I have friends in Melbourne & Sydney who are exactly the same- we are hopefully heading back in Sept-how about you?

[eammon]

Corina, I am one of the worst offenders on this one! I really thought I would be okay here, dismissed people as 'boring' inside my head who went on about how big a move it was, thought I would settle easily but have shocked myself at how much I have pined to go back home! I told people joking that if we don't like it we will just come home again - and that's exactly whats happened!

 

Have had many emails and messages from people saying 'sorry it didn't work out for you'.....hey I'm not sorry at all, better to have come and tried it. First thing on the list when I get back - find an old country pub for a bar meal, second is book my pantomine - stupid little things I have missed, and lets face it Christmas here, its just not the same is it, I must have been the only Brit to be gutted to have missed all that snow they had....

 

You have summed up so much what I am feeling, in your reply. I too told people in a trivial light hearted manner if we don't like it we'll come home again.... didn't realise I would be saying those words now and meaning them.

People are constantly asking me what I miss about the UK and as well as all the obvious things like family and friends, I actually miss the lifestyle we had in the UK, all the things that I probably said I was looking forward to getting away from. Good luck too with your move back to the UK

Denise

[Guest mozziebite]

Heading back in June, hooray!! Out of rented house soon and into a campervan then direct to the airport to go home - do you know the holiday at the end is probably going to be the best bit of being here, I will probably feel more relaxed and enjoy it more.

 

Spent a good few months thinking 'oh my God have I done the right thing', kept it to myself, but when both kids started wobbling and saying they preferred the UK, well that was it for me. Count myself so lucky to have a hubby who listened to us all and agreed to go back cos we were unhappy when he would have liked to have stayed. I think its brought our little family closer together being here so one great thing has come of coming to Aus!

[Guest itskaren]

Corina, I am one of the worst offenders on this one! I really thought I would be okay here, dismissed people as 'boring' inside my head who went on about how big a move it was, thought I would settle easily but have shocked myself at how much I have pined to go back home! I told people joking that if we don't like it we will just come home again - and that's exactly whats happened!

 

Have had many emails and messages from people saying 'sorry it didn't work out for you'.....hey I'm not sorry at all, better to have come and tried it. First thing on the list when I get back - find an old country pub for a bar meal, second is book my pantomine - stupid little things I have missed, and lets face it Christmas here, its just not the same is it, I must have been the only Brit to be gutted to have missed all that snow they had....

 

Funny you should say that! I have been back twice now and I really miss taking my kids to the panto! I took them to see Chucklevision at the Panto and I thought to myself 'you can't get this in Oz"'....

 

We are going to stay for 5 years or so .. I just cannot see myself living here forever otherwise I would go mad. So I am treating it as an experience!

 

:dull:

[Guest spacegirl73]

Corina, I am one of the worst offenders on this one! I really thought I would be okay here, dismissed people as 'boring' inside my head who went on about how big a move it was, thought I would settle easily but have shocked myself at how much I have pined to go back home! I told people joking that if we don't like it we will just come home again - and that's exactly whats happened!

 

Have had many emails and messages from people saying 'sorry it didn't work out for you'.....hey I'm not sorry at all, better to have come and tried it. First thing on the list when I get back - find an old country pub for a bar meal, second is book my pantomine - stupid little things I have missed, and lets face it Christmas here, its just not the same is it, I must have been the only Brit to be gutted to have missed all that snow they had....

 

I too was gutted to have missed the snow!! when I saw all the pics of snowmen and people having a ball I was so jealous! so that makes 2 at least LOL, I also cant wait to have a halloween again, and a bonfire night and a... oh I really must stop this!!!! :smile:

[Petals]

Opposite for us we are over in Uk for a few months and I miss the clear sky of Aus. Took me a few days to get used to the pollution in London, sore throat, runny eyes, always happens. I love visiting but by the time we return to Aus in a couple of months we will have had enough.

 

Family make the obligatory visit to see us and then disappear to their lives etc as it should be.

 

Love the shops etc just wish the weather was better at the minute.

[Guest]

Wow, is that right the pollution in London is so bad it gives you a bad throat, crikey. I am from the North of England and have only been to London a couple of times and loved it, I don't remember suffering with runny eyes etc - mind I only went to the 'touristy' parts as I was visiting with rellies and getting shown around all the good stuff! Then again mebbes I am used to the smog being from the North so it didn't affect me! He he

 

I know what you mean about the sky tho in Oz, its beautiful the sky here, always so blue and clear! Enjoy the shops and hopefully the sun will come out for the rest of your trip. Have a safe trip back!

[Guest valleylass]

CorinaMac

 

This is a great thread and you are right that the 'are you mad?' comments do grate a little. I think this is perhaps because the people asking it have no idea just how miserable you are; and I think that what makes the emigration returnee so reactive to this question is that you are filled with self doubt at the time. I read through the spat on the other thread that you were drawn into and understood what had irritated you.

We got a full range of responses when we decided to return, we had not been there very long, we were not homesick it just wasn't right and what drew us back sooner rather than later was the age of our eldest child (just starting secondary school) and the escalating cost of housing (on the back of the falling pound) in the part of Oz we were in. As housing prices were rising everywhere else too we decided that we needed to return to a place where the housing was affordable on the wages we could earn allowing my partner to retrain. So we chose a part of the UK that would enable us to do this having researched very carefully different parts of Oz before we decided to leave. We like you were convinced that two years was a good target, I still think it is, but for our particular set of circumstances we had to return before hitting this target.

No one said 'are you mad?' when we decided to emigrate, on our return some have quietly acknowledged that they did think this.

:biggrin:Simplistic analogy alert: I can only assume that to leave the UK for a far away land filled with sun is a bit like being a Robbie Williams fan - he's very popular, lots of people agree with your taste and you might have the odd one who may ask you why you like him. But to return is akin to liking The Fall - lots of people think you are mad, can't understand what you are on about and by sheer statistics you are likely to be challenged more often. It is difficult, I agree, to maintain a sense of perspective when it keeps happening!

 

Good Luck

 

valleylass

[Quoll]

I dont know what I thought when I moved here - just that it was another move like all the other moves we had had. I dont think I ever pencilled it in as a "forever" decision and maybe that is why I dont want to stay here - while I had my freedom and a glimmer that one day I would escape it was bearable. When we first arrived I viewed it as a nice enough place but not MY place. I didnt (and still dont) like the harshness and the big space. I find the big cloudless blue sky to be oppressive which my DH finds quite bewildering - almost as if it wants to overwhelm. I like more variety in my sky and living in Canberra it is blue and cloudless most of the time - loud and harsh and predictably boring. It really is a sad day when you comment on a cloud because it is so out of characterLOL

 

In Feb/March I had the whole gamut of weather in UK - from snowstorms in the north through to t-shirt and daffs in Cornwall, all within the space of a couple of weeks. I must say that I didnt find there to be much pollution in London at all - certainly no more than the dreadful weekend I spent in Sydney recently or the long weekend in Melbourne late last year. Personally the UK weather works for me - I bought one of those swanky down jackets that squish up really small because all my friends convinced me I was going to freeze to death as soon as I got off the plane. Got off the plane, put on my trusty old fleece and consigned the down jacket to the boot of the car where it remained, unworn for the entire 5 weeks of my visit. I did wear my beanie once and my gloves about 4 or 5 times.

 

I say kudos to anyone who sees through the hype and makes a considered decision about where their better lifestyle lies - I know that mine lies in UK but DH has convinced himself that his is in Aus. It was interesting though when recently we were talking about my hairstyle - I change it all the time - and he commented that he really liked it when I was in UK last year because it made me look so happy! I did point out that it wasnt the bloody hairstyle which was making me happy but my life was so much happier being back where I belong. Stunned silence and no more comments!

 

Good luck to you all who are escaping, I hope you all have a wonderful time!

[sykestykes]

I found the first six months the hardest of my life and what denise says about being so sure I wouldn't be the homesick one resonated with me in particular. I defend anyones right to love oz and stay there,or to return to the uk if it's not for them.

 

Although I am settled here now,I would never dismiss the idea of returning to the uk because who knows what the future holds?

 

No one gives you a badge for sticking it out when you're desperately unhappy -you only get one life and you should spend it trying to be happy.

[Guest gratom]

Chris955 is absolutely correct--take no notice of the media[especially anti-UK biased Murdoch element]>Its not all gloom and doom;things are cheaper here than Oz.The stock market has risen dramatically;pound stable but somewhat low.Seen handwritten ads is several shop/business windows asking for full/t or part/t staff.Property available at more sensible prices than Australia.As a recently returned friend said[Ozzie partner who didn't disagree]nice country;quite a few nice people;poor education system;10-20 years behind UK/Europe--incredibly overpriced.Due for a earth shaking economic correction[their words not mine]