Novelty periods

[ali]

I think for us the main factor is that we were a very self sufficient unit, we did not have family members who baby sat or helped us out when the kids were sick. So we've not missed that by being here. We lived in a nice area of Preston, our children went to a lovely church school and we both had jobs we enjoyed.

 

Here, we feel that we've achieved all that, after 3 years we have a number of close friends, we're in jobs that we enjoy (and feel less stressed in), and we live in a nice area with the kids in schools that they like and are doing well at. So we haven't gone from 'nothing' or a 'rough' area to suddenly thinking we've hit the big time.

 

In many ways our lifestyle is replicated, what we do have is more time together as a family, we do more things together and even sitting outside for dinner at weekends turns into a family fun night and chatting ... the kids want to linger and talk for a while.

 

There are things here that frustrate me, some of which I can't do anything about (although I will be able to vote in the next elections!!), after 3 years, I still think WOW I love it here. We take our son to an away match at soccer and look at the facilities and the great set up we have at our own club and compare it to what we had in the UK ... good facilities here are the norm (from my own limited experience of visiting them SOR in WA)

 

I don't know if it's an age thing - we were in our early 40's ... did that make us more determined?? I certainly wasn't sure about moving initially thinking I'd be "too old to start again" .... Moving here has given us a different perspective, a different way of living and working and enriched a life that actually wasn't too bad in the UK and one which we'd worked hard to achieve.

 

For us we've had a lot of benefits which haven't been materialistic .. although we've got a bigger BBQ lol. Life is really what you make it .... follow your heart and do what's right for you. Being Happy and content is what counts ... and at the moment for us Aus gives us that feeling.

[Quoll]

I never had the WOW!!!! factor per se but it was a nice adventure for the first 10 years, we did lots, travelled widely, saw lots of things etc etc and I quite enjoyed myself. The second 10 were the "ho hum" years where things began to get really humdrum, supporting the kids with their education, sports etc and building careers etc. It's only the last 10 years where I have really felt the need to move on - been here and done it and got no interest whatsoever in staying here. I can say with my hand on my heart that there is not a single thing I would miss if I were never to return (of course I do like the wide parking spaces and my shower is better than anything ever experienced in UK!). I have a granddaughter here but I could visit and so could they.

 

Like Ali, we were a very self contained and self sufficient unit. We had friends but (and I have remarked on here many times) the friendships have been very transient and usually workplace dependent so there really is no one I count as the same sort of friend that I still have in UK - the one who is closest to me is probably that way because she is a long time expat and is alone here after her partner died so she is pretty needy. The upshot of that is that as a family unit we are rather isolated and both my kids have commented in their adult years how they wished they had a bigger family group around them - their partners both have monster extended families whereas it is really just us 4 and one of them is in UK where he has more interaction with my parents, aunts and uncles and cousins than he does with us!

 

Even now I dont think of myself as "homesick" as it usually applies. I just want different things in my life which Australia is incapable of providing for me. I am angry with myself for not getting things sorted out sooner and making sure that the DH and I were on the same page and to some extent depressed because I am trapped and I was always a bit of a free spirit so entrappedness doesnt come easy to me.

[byrned]

Funny this thread, I was talking a friend I saw in the supermarket yesterday they have just been here over 2 years now, and she was very sad, we were talking about life, she said first year she was here busy exploring settling kids in school work etc, 2nd year they decided to buid a house so busy with that, and had family out on two seperate occasions for a few months at a time, now going into 3 rd year family gone home, house built, work sorted, kids settled, what now? I said sounds to me now the grieving process starts, learning to live with the feeling of homesickness, I told her, I for one will never stop being homesick, but you learn to live with the feeling and get on with it. I give myself 5 more years in Oz before I can go home, and by telling myself I will not be here forever helps me.

[Conniebygaslight]

Funny this thread, I was talking a friend I saw in the supermarket yesterday they have just been here over 2 years now, and she was very sad, we were talking about life, she said first year she was here busy exploring settling kids in school work etc, 2nd year they decided to buid a house so busy with that, and had family out on two seperate occasions for a few months at a time, now going into 3 rd year family gone home, house built, work sorted, kids settled, what now? I said sounds to me now the grieving process starts, learning to live with the feeling of homesickness, I told her, I for one will never stop being homesick, but you learn to live with the feeling and get on with it. I give myself 5 more years in Oz before I can go home, and by telling myself I will not be here forever helps me.

 

Why would you give yourself 5 years- I have been speaking to someone today who is outraged that we are not settling and has told me I must give it 2 years-that to be honest fills me with horror but seems to be the norm. We have money in the uk (thank goodness) which would help us start again but the 2 year timeframe is always mentioned as a magic tyrning point but I don't want to feel like this for 2 years. Is 5 years your choice-well done if it is.

[ali]

Why would you give yourself 5 years- I have been speaking to someone today who is outraged that we are not settling and has told me I must give it 2 years-that to be honest fills me with horror but seems to be the norm. We have money in the uk (thank goodness) which would help us start again but the 2 year timeframe is always mentioned as a magic tyrning point but I don't want to feel like this for 2 years. Is 5 years your choice-well done if it is.

 

I honestly think that the 'magic 2 years' had more to do with then being able to apply for citizenship than anything else. After 2 years you could become a citizen then return to the UK and ping pong as much as you wanted to. Now you have to wait 4 years and that is a very long time to be unhappy. I think that people know if they're going to settle or not, some still feel homesick but choose to stay because there are benefits to staying or because of their relationship, but if you're truly unhappy then I would say cut your loses, life really is too short to live it with regrets and what if's (either moving to or from Aus). Do what you know will make you happy.

[scousers]

I never had the WOW!!!! factor per se but it was a nice adventure for the first 10 years, we did lots, travelled widely, saw lots of things etc etc and I quite enjoyed myself. The second 10 were the "ho hum" years where things began to get really humdrum, supporting the kids with their education, sports etc and building careers etc. It's only the last 10 years where I have really felt the need to move on - been here and done it and got no interest whatsoever in staying here. I can say with my hand on my heart that there is not a single thing I would miss if I were never to return (of course I do like the wide parking spaces and my shower is better than anything ever experienced in UK!). I have a granddaughter here but I could visit and so could they.

 

Like Ali, we were a very self contained and self sufficient unit. We had friends but (and I have remarked on here many times) the friendships have been very transient and usually workplace dependent so there really is no one I count as the same sort of friend that I still have in UK - the one who is closest to me is probably that way because she is a long time expat and is alone here after her partner died so she is pretty needy. The upshot of that is that as a family unit we are rather isolated and both my kids have commented in their adult years how they wished they had a bigger family group around them - their partners both have monster extended families whereas it is really just us 4 and one of them is in UK where he has more interaction with my parents, aunts and uncles and cousins than he does with us!

 

Even now I dont think of myself as "homesick" as it usually applies. I just want different things in my life which Australia is incapable of providing for me. I am angry with myself for not getting things sorted out sooner and making sure that the DH and I were on the same page and to some extent depressed because I am trapped and I was always a bit of a free spirit so entrappedness doesnt come easy to me.

Wow Quoll, i feel like i wrote that. Husband and Aussie daughter are quite happy, but i have now got to the point of every 6 weeks just wanting to pack my bags and go. But with all my family, mum and dad, brother and his family here, i feel trapped. What do you do? I have at least told myself i will leave one day. Just not sure when!

[byrned]

Why would you give yourself 5 years- I have been speaking to someone today who is outraged that we are not settling and has told me I must give it 2 years-that to be honest fills me with horror but seems to be the norm. We have money in the uk (thank goodness) which would help us start again but the 2 year timeframe is always mentioned as a magic tyrning point but I don't want to feel like this for 2 years. Is 5 years your choice-well done if it is.

 

Hi

 

Yeah we have been here 4 years now, kids 15 and 8 when we came, they are now 19 nearly 20 and 13, daughter in Uni loves Australia and does not want to go home, Son now in High school loves it does not want to go home, my son who is 13 said he wants to join the police and told me that once he has left school and joined the force he will move in with his sister and then I can go home, i said cheers for that Louis, if my children were younger ie primary I would be out of here like a shot, but it gets harder the older the children become. Dont get me wrong my life is ok, no worries about anything really, but Australia will never be my home, my heart is in England and always will be, so for now I will make do with trips back to uk to have a fix, and see and spend time with my 4 wonderful sisters.

[Guest rachellh]

Well it stands to reason that we will experience homesickness the most , seeing as we don't like it here...you don't have to be a scientist to work that one out ...lol! I just find it very samey . Can't wait to get back home where i belong

 

 

I felt the same. I was underwhelmed about Perth on the drive from the airport back to the house. My husband (who'd already been here 3 months) knew it wasn't right for us on his first day here, when he walked around 'downtown' Perth and wondered where the rest of it was! Like you, it wasn't to do with homesickness at all. My family lived in 4 countries at the time, so I hadn't even left anyone behind. Perth just didn't feel right to us or live up to any of our expectations. If we hadn't been so busy doing up our house for the first year and a half we would have packed up and left a lot sooner.

 

Perth is definitely the Marmite of the world!

 

Rachel :biggrin:

[Guest siamsusie]

 

Perth is definitely the Marmite of the world!

 

Rachel :biggrin:

The best thing since sliced bread:wink:??

[Guest rachellh]

The best thing since sliced bread:wink:??

 

Now that depends, would that be white bread or brown?!!!! Ironically Vegamite is one of the few things I do like here and will be shipping back with me!!

 

Rachel :biggrin:

[Guest siamsusie]

Now that depends, would that be white bread or brown?!!!! Ironically Vegamite is one of the few things I do like here and will be shipping back with me!!

 

Rachel :biggrin:

Oh definately on homemade granary Rachael, and I used to buy Vegemite in the UK. As a matter of interest did you try other states within Australia or was perth your deciding factor to return?

 

 

http://www.australianfoodonline.co.uk/

 

Vegemite obtainable at Asda

[Guest rachellh]

Oh definately on homemade granary Rachael, and I used to buy Vegemite in the UK. As a matter of interest did you try other states within Australia or was perth your deciding factor to return?

 

 

Vegemite, Cheezels and Cherry Ripes - Australian Food delivered to your door

 

Vegemite obtainable at Asda

 

That's good to know I can get it back there. Though I'm sure my palette will eventually adapt back to Marmite again!

 

I've been all over the country to look at other places, but have only lived in Perth. Considered Sydney for a while, but ruled out for a number of reasons. Saying that we might actually spend a few months there for my husbands work before we move back. Ruled out Brisbane as after 4 years in Singapore my hair can't take the humidity again! Plus my husbands large oz family live there - and there's no way we'd want to be near them.

 

I've lived in enough different countries around the world to know what feels right, and it's the feel of the country as a whole (culture, humour, ideals, education etc) that doesn't sit right with us. So while I know other cities here would offer much more than Perth, (wouldn't be hard!) we'd rather go back to the UK.

 

It's been an interesting experience and I don't regret it at all. If nothing else it's made my husband realise, that despite his Australian family, heritage and passport, he's far from being an Australian, and a million miles from the stereotypical Australian man. Thank god.

 

Rachel :biggrin:

[Guest SophieKin]

I think that those who don't settle and return home in the future tend to know from the outset so there wouldn't really be a novelty period as such. From my own experience I knew from day 1 and things haven't really changed a year later. It does seem to depend on the life that you left behind. For those that were happy in the UK but just wanted something more the homesickness does seem to affect them more. There are a lot of people that are running away from something in the UK or are unhappy and they do seem to settle here better.

[Guest siamsusie]

I think that those who don't settle and return home in the future tend to know from the outset so there wouldn't really be a novelty period as such. From my own experience I knew from day 1 and things haven't really changed a year later. It does seem to depend on the life that you left behind. For those that were happy in the UK but just wanted something more the homesickness does seem to affect them more. There are a lot of people that are running away from something in the UK or are unhappy and they do seem to settle here better.

I wouldnt say people are running away Sophie at all. I think it boils down to loss of immediate family and the realisation there is no family support over here, financial stress/employment prospects, so many factors to take into account.

If I were to be sitting in 2 bedroomed apartment in Hackney dreaming of the blue sea & sand, I would also have a problem if there were to be lack of employment and watching the impending financial suicide thrust upon me . In most instances it is an extremely huge gamble which can be either very disappointing or exhilerating dependant on circumstances.

 

Susie

[Guest Perth Princess]

There has been no novelty period for me. I have spent the last 18 months waiting for it to get better but now I am begining to doubt it ever will. We definitely belong to the group who were happy in the UK but thought there might be something more. now I know there isn't and I wish I could just go back to that old life and truly appreciate it.

[Guest siamsusie]

That's good to know I can get it back there. Though I'm sure my palette will eventually adapt back to Marmite again!

 

I've been all over the country to look at other places, but have only lived in Perth. Considered Sydney for a while, but ruled out for a number of reasons. Saying that we might actually spend a few months there for my husbands work before we move back. Ruled out Brisbane as after 4 years in Singapore my hair can't take the humidity again! Plus my husbands large oz family live there - and there's no way we'd want to be near them.

 

I've lived in enough different countries around the world to know what feels right, and it's the feel of the country as a whole (culture, humour, ideals, education etc) that doesn't sit right with us. So while I know other cities here would offer much more than Perth, (wouldn't be hard!) we'd rather go back to the UK.

 

It's been an interesting experience and I don't regret it at all. If nothing else it's made my husband realise, that despite his Australian family, heritage and passport, he's far from being an Australian, and a million miles from the stereotypical Australian man. Thank god.

 

Rachel :biggrin:

I wish you and your family well and by the sounds of it you will be happier back in the UK.

I dont quite know that the "stereotypical Australian man" is actually!. One would have thought being in a mineing town, I would have come across these "Tonka Toys". Luckily, all I have met are the "good guys" your average caring family man who works hard for their families or the young single guys and lasses who are striving for a better life, commuting x 2 a month 4,000 kms to gain employent of some description.

The stereotypye (media image) of men at one side of a room and the women at another are enigma to me but I am sure it exists as it surely does back in europe.

How quick we are to generalise , the proverbial "Romeo" latin , the odour of the french, the loud mouthed yank:biggrin:... the cold englishmen... ! Romance and decorum exists with my Australian man and many others I happen to witness as well.

Best wishes on your ventures back to the Uk

 

Susie

[Conniebygaslight]

[/b]I wouldnt say people are running away Sophie at all. I think it boils down to loss of immediate family and the realisation there is no family support over here, financial stress/employment prospects, so many factors to take into account.

If I were to be sitting in 2 bedroomed apartment in Hackney dreaming of the blue sea & sand, I would also have a problem if there were to be lack of employment and watching the impending financial suicide thrust upon me . In most instances it is an extremely huge gamble which can be either very disappointing or exhilerating dependant on circumstances.

 

Susie

 

 

I've no idea which catergory we fall into - lots of family support in Oz and none in the UK- but still prefer our life in the UK by a mile...... and a half-and no we don't understand it either-we should think it's great, my husband should feel like he's come home but he does not

 

This is a huge move for all of us that do it and we all have things we like and things we don't, if it doesn't feel right- for whatever reason(s) there is no point-but be proud to have tried where most would have just spoken (very loudly) about it.

The same people who will say we are crazy if/when we go back-life is full of people just like it.

 

Good luck to all who choose to stay or go...:hug:

[Guest siamsusie]

[/b]I wouldnt say people are running away Sophie at all. I think it boils down to loss of immediate family and the realisation there is no family support over here, financial stress/employment prospects, so many factors to take into account.

If I were to be sitting in 2 bedroomed apartment in Hackney dreaming of the blue sea & sand, I would also have a problem if there were to be lack of employment and watching the impending financial suicide thrust upon me . In most instances it is an extremely huge gamble which can be either very disappointing or exhilerating dependant on circumstances.

 

Susie

 

 

I've no idea which catergory we fall into - lots of family support in Oz and none in the UK- but still prefer our life in the UK by a mile...... and a half-and no we don't understand it either-we should think it's great, my husband should feel like he's come home but he does not

 

This is a huge move for all of us that do it and we all have things we like and things we don't, if it doesn't feel right- for whatever reason(s) there is no point-but be proud to have tried where most would have just spoken (very loudly) about it.

The same people who will say we are crazy if/when we go back-life is full of people just like it.

 

Good luck to all who choose to stay or go...:hug:

:hug:Basically there probably isnt a category:biggrin: just follow your heart and so many best wishes for you guys as well x

[supa]

That's so wierd, I got really paranoid when I have visited; I hadn't realised that men in one end of the room and women in the other was stereotypical. I usually like the company of men and was frustrated at all the gatherings I went 2 (well only about 5) I ended up with the women. I mentioned it to my husband, but he just said I was being daft and that women migrated to other women. Whenever I joined the men, I always felt that they thought it wierd that I was on the "wrong side" of the room and I was quickly made to feel that I should return to the gals, which I didn't want to do.

[scousers]

That's so wierd, I got really paranoid when I have visited; I hadn't realised that men in one end of the room and women in the other was stereotypical. I usually like the company of men and was frustrated at all the gatherings I went 2 (well only about 5) I ended up with the women. I mentioned it to my husband, but he just said I was being daft and that women migrated to other women. Whenever I joined the men, I always felt that they thought it wierd that I was on the "wrong side" of the room and I was quickly made to feel that I should return to the gals, which I didn't want to do.

Fully agree with this, have been living in Melbourne for many years now and it drives me mad! I think i must be getting used to it though (which is worrying). I still have not found out why Australian men (in general) cannot talk to women. I know some can, but now many.

[Guest LongwayDown]

quote Siam

 

Spouse Visa pr granted 2009, living in paradise

 

Karrratha and Tasmania surely your having us on??

 

Very funny

[Guest chris955]

I actually think that is the reason I can not settle long term here, I'm just not Australian enough. I don't drink much beer, don't watch footie and not that bothered about V8's. Seriously though I think I have just come to the realisation that I am too English which suits me fine. :biggrin:

 

 

It's been an interesting experience and I don't regret it at all. If nothing else it's made my husband realise, that despite his Australian family, heritage and passport, he's far from being an Australian, and a million miles from the stereotypical Australian man. Thank god.

 

Rachel :biggrin:

[fish.01]

I actually think that is the reason I can not settle long term here, I'm just not Australian enough. I don't drink much beer, don't watch footie and not that bothered about V8's. Seriously though I think I have just come to the realisation that I am too English which suits me fine. :biggrin:

 

Surely this is more about a particular beer/footie/car demographic that exists in both countries. You could write exactly the same thing in reverse about the UK. Maybe you're just hanging around the wrong people who don't suit you...

[Guest chris955]

No, I don't think so. I have many years experience in both countries, it is clear to me I am more English than Australian.

[fish.01]

No, I don't think so. I have many years experience in both countries, it is clear to me I am more English than Australian.

 

:biggrin: Last post I thought, shall I make it clear the bit of chris's comment I'm talking about is the beer/footie/car bit and that you can find the same mix of blokes in both countries. Nah, surely he won't think I'm talking about whether he feels more English than Aussie as of course only he would know about that.

 

You live and learn :wink: Stupid computer communication....!!!@@#