Soozan Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Thanks to everyone who is trying to help with suggestions. But, I exercise and power walk every day, I have applied for tons of jobs without success (it's really difficult to find a part time job), I've been for coffee with numerous people. I help out with the school canteen. I really don't think going to the doctors would be the answer. What does seem to have worked for me (although I would still rather go home) is talking to someone who knows exactly what I'm going through. So thank you L. Also, my husband and I have a very good relationship, although he can never really understand my feelings about being here, he was willing to send me and the kids back then he would follow on but I know this would be the wrong thing to do. It's too soon, we've agreed to give it more time and explore - but we will go back home, it was always our plan anyway. Once again, thank you all for trying to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 What does seem to have worked for me (although I would still rather go home) is talking to someone who knows exactly what I'm going through. So thank you L. ^^ Totally agree ~ Glad you too have found this to be a help & comfort :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Thanks to everyone who is trying to help with suggestions. But, I exercise and power walk every day, I have applied for tons of jobs without success (it's really difficult to find a part time job), I've been for coffee with numerous people. I help out with the school canteen. I really don't think going to the doctors would be the answer. What does seem to have worked for me (although I would still rather go home) is talking to someone who knows exactly what I'm going through. So thank you L. Also, my husband and I have a very good relationship, although he can never really understand my feelings about being here, he was willing to send me and the kids back then he would follow on but I know this would be the wrong thing to do. It's too soon, we've agreed to give it more time and explore - but we will go back home, it was always our plan anyway. Once again, thank you all for trying to help. Well you know your going home so how about making an adventure of it, make a diary of the ups and downs. When you safely back home and all is well you can pick up that diary and read it look at it and smile, you did it, now your'e back home and can remember the times here. home is only a day away y'know. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Hi, I understand how you are feeling, as do lots of others who have replied to you. Unless you feel what we are feeling, people dont understand. I still get emails and facebook messages where people seem to think we are living in a paradise of sun and sand and going to the beach everyday. Where I am is in suburbia and could be any new housing estate in the UK, an hour from the beach. Anyway, after antianxiety medication and lots of talks with my husband I am going home in December. Still got to pay back the $12k that the company paid to relocate us here in the UK and also find the money to get us and our belongings back home. That is the hard part and also my hubby is scared he is going to come back with his tail between his legs as it was his dream to come out here. I wish you the best of luck and I believe you must do what your heart tells you to do. Im just a yorkshire lass at heart and I miss home and family as if I a grieving for them. It would be nice to wake up without that feeling in the pit of my stomach too. Big hugs, you are not alone x Dont let your husband worry about going home "with his tail between his legs" he should be proud he took a chance, turned his life on its head, and tried another life. Nothing wrong with saying the old life was better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends, etc. The wife did show concerns; massive hit on our house so sold for alot less, raising mortgage and house prices in Brisbane and were we too old for the move (both in our 40's). 2 teenage children that we wondered if they will settle. Im not a hot weather lover or beach person. We came over with little money. For the sake of my mental health and general wellbeing we have decided to return. My son was doing really well in the UK and we did not have a bad life. The education here doesn't seem better and asking around the uni's are not as good as the UK. !!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I'm a bit lost for words after reading this! You say you had a great life in the U.K. job wise and with friends and family but wanted more. Just what more could you want? You also say that you are not that keen on hot weather or beaches!!! Sorry I really am lost for words!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 !!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I'm a bit lost for words after reading this! You say you had a great life in the U.K. job wise and with friends and family but wanted more. Just what more could you want? You also say that you are not that keen on hot weather or beaches!!! Sorry I really am lost for words!!!!! Its Raymans opinion, and vent, nothing wrong with seeing what its like elswhere, people have different dreams and ideas if your'e lost for words dont say anything, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm voting for legoman in the next election ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 if your'e lost for words dont say anything, It's a free forum mate, I'll say what I like when I like. When someone says they are lost for words, it usually says more than a hundred words could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 explain in a few words 'lost for words' why?. just a question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 reason I ask is that OP gave us a valuable insight into their lives and ideas and experience here. your remark was rather downputting. so was mine of yours, maybe a good idea of what it feels like. you 'bit straight away. :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 explain in a few words 'lost for words' why?. just a question. ok lets break this down. Firstly the title of the thread, "Back to the UK after 5 months", 5 months, what do you know after 5 months? To make the decision to go home after such a short period of time seems to show that there wasn't any real commitment to the cause from the beginning. Either that or there was a complete lack of comprehension of what a move to Australia involved. The next thing we learn is that it took 2 years to get everything sorted. That's 2 years of getting a visa sorted, the thousands of pounds spent on getting the visa sorted, all the time in the world to really consider what a move would entail and yet after just 5 months its all over, just seems like an incredible waste of time, money and effort. The next thing we learn, and something that made me stop after I had read it and think, "so why move then", - We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends. If things were so great why move? The answer, they were hoping that Oz would offer so much more. What more could you want if you had a great life? I don't understand. What were the specific reasons for wanting to move? Then there was the hit taken on the house, loss here and higher prices in Oz. Again, even before they have moved life is becoming harder and more expensive. There were doubts about their ages and the kids settling. Then the statement that made me think just how much serious thought had been given to this move, "Im not a hot weather lover or beach person". It's a bit like someone saying, "I don't really like enclosed spaces or long journeys but I'm applying to NASA for the next 2 year round trip to Mars"! Then we learn that they didn't come over with much money!! I am reminded of the training I got at my last work place where they would play a video showing a scenario in the workplace that demonstrated just how not to do something. Next we hear that they wish to return, "For the sake of sake of my mental health and general wellbeing", you have to be tough to start a new life on the other side of the world, they don't sound up to it at all. It's not a holiday it's real life. It's getting a job, working long hours. It's not sitting on a beach it's paying bills and facing all the difficulties you face back home but without extended family and friends. Next comes the wide sweeping statement about the Australian education system, was there any research done before this move? Finally we get the 3 must dos before a move. It's a pity that they didn't take this into account before. 1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof. 2. Come when you are young and so are your kids. 3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken. To me it all just smacks of naivety, it's perfectly ok to have a dream but if you're going to do it then do it for the right reasons and make sure you know what you're doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cronemeister Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 ok lets break this down. Firstly the title of the thread, "Back to the UK after 5 months", 5 months, what do you know after 5 months? To make the decision to go home after such a short period of time seems to show that there wasn't any real commitment to the cause from the beginning. Either that or there was a complete lack of comprehension of what a move to Australia involved. The next thing we learn is that it took 2 years to get everything sorted. That's 2 years of getting a visa sorted, the thousands of pounds spent on getting the visa sorted, all the time in the world to really consider what a move would entail and yet after just 5 months its all over, just seems like an incredible waste of time, money and effort. The next thing we learn, and something that made me stop after I had read it and think, "so why move then", - We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends. If things were so great why move? The answer, they were hoping that Oz would offer so much more. What more could you want if you had a great life? I don't understand. What were the specific reasons for wanting to move? Then there was the hit taken on the house, loss here and higher prices in Oz. Again, even before they have moved life is becoming harder and more expensive. There were doubts about their ages and the kids settling. Then the statement that made me think just how much serious thought had been given to this move, "Im not a hot weather lover or beach person". It's a bit like someone saying, "I don't really like enclosed spaces or long journeys but I'm applying to NASA for the next 2 year round trip to Mars"! Then we learn that they didn't come over with much money!! I am reminded of the training I got at my last work place where they would play a video showing a scenario in the workplace that demonstrated just how not to do something. Next we hear that they wish to return, "For the sake of sake of my mental health and general wellbeing", you have to be tough to start a new life on the other side of the world, they don't sound up to it at all. It's not a holiday it's real life. It's getting a job, working long hours. It's not sitting on a beach it's paying bills and facing all the difficulties you face back home but without extended family and friends. Next comes the wide sweeping statement about the Australian education system, was there any research done before this move? Finally we get the 3 must dos before a move. It's a pity that they didn't take this into account before. 1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof. 2. Come when you are young and so are your kids. 3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken. To me it all just smacks of naivety, it's perfectly ok to have a dream but if you're going to do it then do it for the right reasons and make sure you know what you're doing. Pretty much sums up my thoughts - no disrespect to the OP of course here as everyone has their own reasons and agendas for wanting to do something. This isn't just any old decision though and one which should not be taken too lightly. I myself am going through the process of moving out to Oz with my partner and our 2 children and having read most of the 'relative to the topic' posts on here am a bit more apprehensive about it all than I was an hour or so ago, not to the point where I'm wondering why I am doing it though. To cut a long story short, I heard there might be an opportunity to get a job with a firm in Oz back in Jan this year. I half heartedly (and in a somewhat joking manner) mentioned it to the missus...she said "Go for it"....so I did. I've worked in my job for the last 10 years and love it. My partner has not worked since before our eldest was born (12 years ago), but has done a Psychology degree and was looking to getting back to work later this year. I work in local government which is on a rapidly downhill spiral at the moment, and people are losing their jobs left right and centre where I work and its only gonna get worse over the next 3-4 years so I decided to take the redundancy (enhanced) package that was on offer and get out before I was pushed...basically. I now have a job offer from the firm in Oz, waiting to apply for my visa (hopefully in the next 1-2 weeks). We have a comfortable life here in the UK (thanks to a very low mortgage due to buying 10 years ago). We don't have a fantastic house in a fantastic area, but there are far worse, and more and more as the kids around where we live get older we have found ourselves wanting to move away from where we live now but still stay in the same general area (hence the missus looking to get back to work). My missus isn't the massively social type, however I am (difficult not to be being from Newcastle) and have a good group of friends both through work and also from previous jobs/schools etc. Since I have been offered the job, we have spent numerous hours (mainly on pomsinoz) researching and finding as much as we can out about how things work and how different things are. I've even managed to find someone on here who lives where I'm going to work and did exactly the same things as I'm about to do, only 2 years ago so we've been exchanging emails about questions etc which has been a massive help. I have a cousin who lives in Brisbane who has also given me a lot of good info, especially about costs (medical mainly!) so we are all coming out there with our eyes firmly wedged wide open. We are not selling our house here as the rental income we can get off it is 3 times our mortgage payment so its pointless at the mo and we are coming out there with about £20k, although just under less than half of this will be used to ship our home contents and our dog over to Oz, but still leaves us with a good wedge to get us started over there (rental deposits and paying for school things for the kids etc). My wage will be the only income for the first few months out there whilst we get settled until the missus finds something so we will be living off just shy of $60k per year (starting salary) in comparison to £30k (no real prospects for moving up) here in the UK. We aren't moving to a massive big city, its quite out in the sticks actually, near the cost (Lakes Entrance) so rental properties are not that expensive from what we have looked at so far and we will most likely be living in the same town as the company I'm going to work for, and the kids will school there also so that will help. We are both very outgoing people (me more than the missus tho) and are looking at this as an opportunity too good to turn down despite the cost involved in doing it. We've said all the long that we'll give it a go for a year and after that review our decision and decide whether we miss the UK too much or just hate where we are in Oz and move somewhere else in Oz. We are both determined people though, and are prepared to work our collective asses off to make a real good go of it as we really have nothing to lose. From what I've read on these forums, people (with alarming regularity) do not seem to fully commit to a move to Oz, and are constantly comparing things to 'back home'. If you make the decision to move to Oz for whatever reason, then you have to be prepared to call Oz your home as far as I'm concerned. The UK will still be here and everything in it, and it will always be the place you were born (if you were) and raised and of course you will hold it close in your heart, but if you love it that much and you're life is so great, then why the hell are you moving? You either put your heart into it and do it and don't look back...which a lot of people seem to have done, or you give it a go (as we are doing to some extent) and you might just surprise yourself. I guess we're kinda inbetween. We aren't keeping our house here in the UK as a fall back, as I mentioned earlier we can make money on it renting it out which we are quite happy to do, and when the time is right we'll sell it as we have quite a bit of equity in it which will give us a nice deposit for a house in Oz. We also know that it is here should something go completely wrong in Oz and we need to come back. We have 2 children so this was in our thoughts also. Had we been childless we would have probably sold it ! All in all, we are all really excited, even more so when we've been looking at houses and the surrounding areas etc. I'm not sure I've helped anyone on here with my post, but I just felt that I needed to post my thoughts/feelings etc, and I will of course post updates as our moving process trundles on, and also once we are actually there. I wish you all the best of luck with whatever decisions you are all making and hope that they work out for you all. 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pintpot Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 From what I've read on these forums, people (with alarming regularity) do not seem to fully commit to a move to Oz, and are constantly comparing things to 'back home'. If you make the decision to move to Oz for whatever reason, then you have to be prepared to call Oz your home as far as I'm concerned. The UK will still be here and everything in it, and it will always be the place you were born (if you were) and raised and of course you will hold it close in your heart, but if you love it that much and you're life is so great, then why the hell are you moving? You either put your heart into it and do it and don't look back...which a lot of people seem to have done, or you give it a go (as we are doing to some extent) and you might just surprise yourself. Just a couple of points... There seems to be an assumption made by some that you should have some real issues in the UK to be even considering the move - "if you have a good/comfortable life, why do it?" style of thing. People move here for all sorts of reasons, most of them at the moment economic but some just want an adventure. I think there are a tiny minority of people who come here when deep down they don't want to The other point is that you just don't know how the move is going to take you emotionally until you try. You can research all the practicalities but they won't tell you how you'll feel. For all of us it's a bit of a leap in the dark and always will be All in all, we are all really excited, even more so when we've been looking at houses and the surrounding areas etc. You seem to have done your homework in spades, so I really hope it works out for you. I remember worrying about whether we were doing the right thing, and some of the posts on PIO from returnees nagged at me too. They shouldn't be ignored but they're just the opinions and experiences of a few individuals. For most of us it does work out Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine111 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 reason I ask is that OP gave us a valuable insight into their lives and ideas and experience here. your remark was rather downputting. so was mine of yours, maybe a good idea of what it feels like. you 'bit straight away. Great point! When I emmigrated 12 yrs ago, it was these valuable inputs & sharing of experiences I could have done with that the OP has written & many others have. Internet wasnt so ready available back then, my advice to those so quick to jump on someone like the OP is take some lessons out of it, think how you will do things differently. Until you emmigrate it is very hard to fully comprehend how you are going to feel emotionally in 6 mths/12 mths 2, 5 or 10 yrs down the track. It is a huge live changing move & not one to be taken lightly unless of course you are a backpacker, then I say go for it! (preferably before you have the kids!) The danger is people like the OP or others wont write again & yes there is another side to Oz, just like there is of the Uk. If you know that before you go you are better equipped rather than getting caught up in all the hype! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soozan Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 You're very lucky you're able to rent out your home. We were all set to rent ours out right up until the 11th hour then found out because of the economic climate we couldn't get a buy to let mortgage - even though I've had a mortgage for 15 years without missing a payment! There were families queueing up in our area to rent properties. We were too honest, we went straight to the bank and told them what we were planning so it was too risky to suddenly lie. So, right up until a week before we left we thought we would be OK with our funds. Instead we came to Oz, having to pay a mortgage and bills back home whilst paying rent and bills over here, so the first few months were very tight money wise and stressful on one income. We too are from Newcastle, but only had 8 weeks from job offer to move (my husband was head hunted). Good luck, I hope it all works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 The other point is that you just don't know how the move is going to take you emotionally until you try. You can research all the practicalities but they won't tell you how you'll feel. For all of us it's a bit of a leap in the dark and always will be ^^ Totally agree & its a little annoying when people (that clearly havent felt as we do) jump on others, tell them they havent given it time, that they obviously didnt prepare etc etc..... I always thought I would be fine, thought id stay in Australia for a long time (possibly forever) prepared myself as best I could, researched in huge bucket loads, but the reality is, I dont feel how I thought I would & we will probably move back in a few years time No amount of research, thinking & planning will help how you feel 'inside' ~ I am 100% proof of that Yes, we spent alot of time & money getting here, so I plan to enjoy the next 3 years here, see it as a great experience for us all ~ No matter what, life can be far too short to see any time as wasted time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Following reports i have removed some posts and tried to tidy this last page or so up. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Some old names on here, i wonder where they are now? Lol:wub::wink: They are off enjoying their new lives like me I hope :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I really feel for those that are struggling, its been so easy for me to settle, I loved it the minute I got out of the airport and have loved it since. I hope everyone finds happiness whichever side of the world they choose/have to live on. I have to be honest my biggest fear would be if my OH announced he wanted to go back to the UK (note I said back to the UK, not back home!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 'The Ropey HOFF' your venturing into MBTTUK territory again ~ Out I tell you, out!!!!! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I'm going to close this thread to avoid confusion, as it's an old one. Feel free to start a new one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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