Back to the UK after 5 months.

[Guest rayman1]

Hello. I am new to the forum but would like to share my experience with everyone warts and all.

After 2 years of waiting to come to Brisbane we finally arrived in Nov.We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends, etc hoping Oz would offer so much more. The wife did show concerns; massive hit on our house so sold for alot less, raising mortgage and house prices in Brisbane and were we too old for the move (both in our 40's). 2 teenage children that we wondered if they will settle but we (especially me) went with the flow saying it will be ok.

5 months on it isn't for me or my daughter. I have been struggling for weeks with the change and know in my heart I got more wrapped up in the adventure of coming over than the reality. Im not a hot weather lover or beach person (why come to Australia, you may ask. I really don't know!!). We came over with little money due to circumstances and now are in a position of not having enough money even to put down on a nice house, never mind affording the mortgage payment that would take 50% plus of our income a week. We have never had this issue and is affecting me greatly.

My wife likes it here and son does but if we are struggling what life is that!! For the sake of my mental health and general wellbeing we have decided to return. If we go back soon the kids can get back in their school and not interfere too much with my sons GCSE's. Job wise we will have to start looking again but fingers crossed. The houses are still low in South Yorkshire so can get on the property ladder ok. We still have some money over in the UK because we dare not bring it over because of the poor exchange rates.

I am not knocking Australia. It is a lovely country with lower crime and better weather (if you like sun). Would it be better for my children, I don't know. My son was doing really well in the UK and we did not have a bad life. The education here doesn't seem better and asking around the uni's are not as good as the UK.

3 things I would recommend for people who are thinking of emigrating;

 

1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof.

2. Come when you are young and so are your kids.

3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken.

 

I know 5 months is not long but we need to go back soon to get our lifes back on track and not mess the kids education up. This experience has taught me how much I do love my wife, my family and happiness for us was right there in front of us, not at the other side of the world.

[sykestykes]

Thank you for a brave and honest post, Rayman. Good luck with your return to the UK, I hope you all settle back to your old lives very quickly :wubclub:

Sue x

[Guest guest30038]

Thank you for a brave and honest post, Rayman. Good luck with your return to the UK, I hope you all settle back to your old lives very quickly :wubclub:

Sue x

 

I second that. All the best mate.

 

kev

[Guest brissygas]

Thanks for posting that, I live in Brisbane and love it, shame you don't feel the same, good luck back in the UK.

[Guest sophi]

Hello. I am new to the forum but would like to share my experience with everyone warts and all.

After 2 years of waiting to come to Brisbane we finally arrived in Nov.We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends, etc hoping Oz would offer so much more. The wife did show concerns; massive hit on our house so sold for alot less, raising mortgage and house prices in Brisbane and were we too old for the move (both in our 40's). 2 teenage children that we wondered if they will settle but we (especially me) went with the flow saying it will be ok.

5 months on it isn't for me or my daughter. I have been struggling for weeks with the change and know in my heart I got more wrapped up in the adventure of coming over than the reality. Im not a hot weather lover or beach person (why come to Australia, you may ask. I really don't know!!). We came over with little money due to circumstances and now are in a position of not having enough money even to put down on a nice house, never mind affording the mortgage payment that would take 50% plus of our income a week. We have never had this issue and is affecting me greatly.

My wife likes it here and son does but if we are struggling what life is that!! For the sake of my mental health and general wellbeing we have decided to return. If we go back soon the kids can get back in their school and not interfere too much with my sons GCSE's. Job wise we will have to start looking again but fingers crossed. The houses are still low in South Yorkshire so can get on the property ladder ok. We still have some money over in the UK because we dare not bring it over because of the poor exchange rates.

I am not knocking Australia. It is a lovely country with lower crime and better weather (if you like sun). Would it be better for my children, I don't know. My son was doing really well in the UK and we did not have a bad life. The education here doesn't seem better and asking around the uni's are not as good as the UK.

3 things I would recommend for people who are thinking of emigrating;

 

1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof.

2. Come when you are young and so are your kids.

3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken.

 

I know 5 months is not long but we need to go back soon to get our lifes back on track and not mess the kids education up. This experience has taught me how much I do love my wife, my family and happiness for us was right there in front of us, not at the other side of the world.

 

I totally feel for you, reading your post bought a tear to my eye, when are you returning? We have only been here a few months extra than you but we know we want to return, we thought we were prepared for all the hard times that were to follow, but we werent,i dont think anything can prepare you of longing of family, friend's ect.... We are staying for another 6 months but we know our feelings wont change, We feel like we are in mourning, and are counting down the days to our return. wishing you all the best with your plans and wishing all the people who move out here and love it all the best as well, but its not for everybody and at least you wont always be wondering what if. :hug:

[mrcatania]

I totally feel for you, reading your post bought a tear to my eye, when are you returning? We have only been here a few months extra than you but we know we want to return, we thought we were prepared for all the hard times that were to follow, but we werent,i dont think anything can prepare you of longing of family, friend's ect.... We are staying for another 6 months but we know our feelings wont change, We feel like we are in mourning, and are counting down the days to our return. wishing you all the best with your plans and wishing all the people who move out here and love it all the best as well, but its not for everybody and at least you wont always be wondering what if. :hug:

'Mourning' that is exactly how I feel, gut wrentching sickness everyday, not just homesickness, but anger and regret of what I had in London.... and left, like a loved one that has passed away you seem helpless to get your life back together. I have never felt like this in my life and never wish to again. It has been scary.

This is coming from somone who visited here many times and loved Australia, you just don't know how it will affect you. Nothing can prepare you for this.

[mrcatania]

Hello. I am new to the forum but would like to share my experience with everyone warts and all.

After 2 years of waiting to come to Brisbane we finally arrived in Nov.We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends, etc hoping Oz would offer so much more. The wife did show concerns; massive hit on our house so sold for alot less, raising mortgage and house prices in Brisbane and were we too old for the move (both in our 40's). 2 teenage children that we wondered if they will settle but we (especially me) went with the flow saying it will be ok.

5 months on it isn't for me or my daughter. I have been struggling for weeks with the change and know in my heart I got more wrapped up in the adventure of coming over than the reality. Im not a hot weather lover or beach person (why come to Australia, you may ask. I really don't know!!). We came over with little money due to circumstances and now are in a position of not having enough money even to put down on a nice house, never mind affording the mortgage payment that would take 50% plus of our income a week. We have never had this issue and is affecting me greatly.

My wife likes it here and son does but if we are struggling what life is that!! For the sake of my mental health and general wellbeing we have decided to return. If we go back soon the kids can get back in their school and not interfere too much with my sons GCSE's. Job wise we will have to start looking again but fingers crossed. The houses are still low in South Yorkshire so can get on the property ladder ok. We still have some money over in the UK because we dare not bring it over because of the poor exchange rates.

I am not knocking Australia. It is a lovely country with lower crime and better weather (if you like sun). Would it be better for my children, I don't know. My son was doing really well in the UK and we did not have a bad life. The education here doesn't seem better and asking around the uni's are not as good as the UK.

3 things I would recommend for people who are thinking of emigrating;

 

1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof.

2. Come when you are young and so are your kids.

3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken.

 

I know 5 months is not long but we need to go back soon to get our lifes back on track and not mess the kids education up. This experience has taught me how much I do love my wife, my family and happiness for us was right there in front of us, not at the other side of the world.

Some very true and helpful points raised there. Thankyou. But for me, like yourselves, I found this out the hard way.

Hope all goes well in the UK.

[Guest sophi]

Some very true and helpful points raised there. Thankyou. But for me, like yourselves, I found this out the hard way.

Hope all goes well in the UK.

 

What we put our selves through hey!!! at least THIS SIGHT is great for of loading our feelings and knowing we arnt alone. people who havent felt like this dont understand just how hard and horible it is. The feeling of wakening every morning with your stomach in knots and wanting to scream. feeling like we are locked up in a prison and the feelings go on....... :hug: to all

[TaniaColin]

Best of luck to you and your family on the return to Uk

 

Tania x

[Guest guest30038]

 

Bit like my first marriage really :biggrin:

[Guest Perth Princess]

At least you have made your decision now so that's good. We kept putting it off expecting that in time we would feel differently. I wish now that we had returned sooner but I needed to make sure I was making the right decision and not just doing a knee-jerk due to the adjustment. I actually think that Perth is great and feel as though I ought to be happy here, but I'm really not and I don't think I ever will be. I'm enjoying it more now that we are planning to move home and hopefully we can just make the most of our time here now. What I find really hard is that the kids love it here and they will hate going back. I feel very guilty about that but I think that they will get used to the UK fairly quickly, whereas I won't ever settle here.

Hope it all goes well:hug:

[Guest sophi]

Bit like my first marriage really :biggrin:

 

 

:biglaugh::biglaugh: good job you got out.

[Guest BirdB]

Your story is exactly like mine, it made me cry - again! We have been in Brisbane for 5 months and I just don't know how I will face the next day. I want to go back so much it is exactly like mourning. I did not think there would be a hope in hell to get our girls back into their old schools which are so oversubscribed and so I have resigned myself to staying here for their sake, my youngest daughter would be due to start high school in the uk and all the places have been allocated already. My husband thinks we should give it more time, he is probably right but I feel every day we stay it will be harder to return. I have lovely friends here but it's the 'alone' days when I just sit in front of the computer and yearn for my family and 'old' friends who i now know are worth so very much more to me than a lovely house in the sun.

I am interested to hear how you got the children back into their old schools - pm me if you like

xx

[Guest rayman1]

Your story is exactly like mine, it made me cry - again! We have been in Brisbane for 5 months and I just don't know how I will face the next day. I want to go back so much it is exactly like mourning. I did not think there would be a hope in hell to get our girls back into their old schools which are so oversubscribed and so I have resigned myself to staying here for their sake, my youngest daughter would be due to start high school in the uk and all the places have been allocated already. My husband thinks we should give it more time, he is probably right but I feel every day we stay it will be harder to return. I have lovely friends here but it's the 'alone' days when I just sit in front of the computer and yearn for my family and 'old' friends who i now know are worth so very much more to me than a lovely house in the sun.

I am interested to hear how you got the children back into their old schools - pm me if you like

xx

 

BirdB. We were lucky in that the old school was able to get my son back in because he had done half of his GCSE's there and had his course work there already. It made sense then to get his sister in the same school. The headmaster has been wonderful and marked the kids down as having a extended holiday!!! That is why it was crucial for us to get back asap.

Thank you for all the kind words. Every day waking up dreading the day ahead is not a good feeling. For a man to be going through this in front of his wife and children was very painful. I was so depressed. We would have given it some more time if the kids had been younger and their education not messed up. It would not have solved how expensive it is and I am sure the little money we have in the UK would have disappeared but I would not have felt such a failure.

We are looking into returning before the easter school holidays end in the UK so the kids can start back then. My daughter is in the exact same form as before and the head has changed all my sons timetable to maximize getting good grades.

All our family and friends in the UK are glad but we have made good friends in Brisbane who will miss us but I could not go on feeling like this and now know how people feel when they say they want to go home.

[aharcall]

Hi Rayman1

 

Just to say that I totally understand everything you are saying. We moved to the sunshine coast back in September 2009. My hubbie and I had been out here 20 years ago on a working visa for a year and loved it.

 

We came out again for four weeks to validate our visa in 2008 with our teenage boys and then just my hubbie and I for couple of weeks in Feb 2009.

 

Arrived here in September and we are now making plans to move back to England at the end of April. It just was not for us. It is far too quiet on the sunshine coast for us. We had everything we wanted in England. Boys were happy (they are 14 and 16), we were happy, lots of close family and friends that we spend a lot of time with. Both in good jobs, lovely home. I think we underestimated just how important our relationships were with all our family and friends. Our boys didnt like it here and cant wait to get back to everyone at home - it has given them a new appreciation of what they had.

 

Bored with the beaches and the weather. It rains just as much here as it does in England. There is just nothing here that compensates for the people that we left behind. And we struggle to see how life here is better for us or our boys than it is in England. Australia is great for a holiday but living here is a whole different kettle of fish. Im not going to slag Australia off just as I now wish that people wouldnt slag the UK off.

 

Now finding it very expensive to tie up all the loose ends here and make our way home but we will do it and not a moment too soon.

 

All the best with your journey and I would just like to say to everyone contemplating coming out , think very carefully about what you already have at home because this is the most difficult thing we have ever done. I know when I was planning to move out here I used to read posts like this and say to myself - 'they must be mad, how could they prefer the UK to Australia, its rubbish here in the UK'. All I will say now is 'theres no place like home' (wherever it may be).

[Guest sophi]

Your story is exactly like mine, it made me cry - again! We have been in Brisbane for 5 months and I just don't know how I will face the next day. I want to go back so much it is exactly like mourning. I did not think there would be a hope in hell to get our girls back into their old schools which are so oversubscribed and so I have resigned myself to staying here for their sake, my youngest daughter would be due to start high school in the uk and all the places have been allocated already. My husband thinks we should give it more time, he is probably right but I feel every day we stay it will be harder to return. I have lovely friends here but it's the 'alone' days when I just sit in front of the computer and yearn for my family and 'old' friends who i now know are worth so very much more to me than a lovely house in the sun.

I am interested to hear how you got the children back into their old schools - pm me if you like

xx

 

Have you tryed to phone the schools back home to see if you could get them back in?

My OH phoned our kids old school last week and explained that we would be retuning just after the new school year starts and we were lucky they will be returning. Its worth a phone call.:unsure: Good luck x

[Guest rayman1]

Thanks aharcall. It certainly does make you appreciate what the UK is about. I too read all the going home posts and thought it wont apply to me!! I remember reading Quoll and Jackie Macdonalds post and they even pm me to say it is not paradise but I still come. I think it would have always been in my mind if we had not but now know it is not for me. I hope the family do not hate me too much for all the upheaval but like my 16 year old son said " I want my dad and best mate back, not the zombie I have got now". England is home. I love being English and now realise, warts and all that it is where you belong that counts, not the sunshine. And by the way, I love the cold weather and my wife and I was gutted that we missed all the snow!!!!!

[Paul1Perth]

Your story is exactly like mine, it made me cry - again! We have been in Brisbane for 5 months and I just don't know how I will face the next day. I want to go back so much it is exactly like mourning. I did not think there would be a hope in hell to get our girls back into their old schools which are so oversubscribed and so I have resigned myself to staying here for their sake, my youngest daughter would be due to start high school in the uk and all the places have been allocated already. My husband thinks we should give it more time, he is probably right but I feel every day we stay it will be harder to return. I have lovely friends here but it's the 'alone' days when I just sit in front of the computer and yearn for my family and 'old' friends who i now know are worth so very much more to me than a lovely house in the sun.

I am interested to hear how you got the children back into their old schools - pm me if you like

xx

 

You need to get away from the computer! Those things will depress you for sure. Get out and about more and see if you can meet some real people as opposed to people on-line.

[Mongrel]

Thanks aharcall. It certainly does make you appreciate what the UK is about. I too read all the going home posts and thought it wont apply to me!! I remember reading Quoll and Jackie Macdonalds post and they even pm me to say it is not paradise but I still come. I think it would have always been in my mind if we had not but now know it is not for me. I hope the family do not hate me too much for all the upheaval but like my 16 year old son said " I want my dad and best mate back, not the zombie I have got now". England is home. I love being English and now realise, warts and all that it is where you belong that counts, not the sunshine. And by the way, I love the cold weather and my wife and I was gutted that we missed all the snow!!!!!

 

If you want to go back good luck mate ,I dont kmow what you do to earn a crust , but try and ask around over there in SY , I keep in contact with old steelworks mates , they shut practically all of Rotherham works down , the bit that is open has picked up a bit mainly due to the local mamagement fiddlin the order book ,keepin orders back to make it look fuller than in reality. Just make sure there are a couple of job openings over there for you so you can get going.To be honest i felt the same way not as bad as you but felt crap about the whole thing ,we went on a holiday ???? back to Rotherham last August , it made my mind up we had done the right thing comin here , friends and family IMO too much is made of it as after the initial euphoric meeting its back to the meet at xmas birthdays etc. WEll thats my five bobs worth. Hope you enjoy life in SY and get back into it. Good luck

 

Mally

ps I`m 51 oh err nearly lol, bought a house here big bloody mortgage little deposit , bugger it you live once , rather be skint here than in the uknot that we are here yet lol

[Guest BirdB]

You need to get away from the computer! Those things will depress you for sure. Get out and about more and see if you can meet some real people as opposed to people on-line.

 

Thanks Paul

 

As I said, I know shouldn't do it and I have in fact met lots of 'real people' who I consider to be very good friends. Maybe you should take your own advice. Sorry to bite back but not feeling too good today.

[Poca&Dan]

.....going to bed at night and dreaming of home and familiar faces and places, then to wake up and come falling back down to reality.....

[Guest rayman1]

Hi yorkshirepom.

I know SY isn't the best part of the UK but we were all happy and I can't honestly see us being any happier here in years to come. We did loads in the UK and unfortunately listened to people saying it is heaven on earth for them. Maybe but not for us. We will not be so hard up over there and that is better for piece of mind.

Im glad you are happy and all the best mate. And by the way, I lost my job over here last week so things can't get any better LOL.

[Guest claireandmark]

Hello. I am new to the forum but would like to share my experience with everyone warts and all.

After 2 years of waiting to come to Brisbane we finally arrived in Nov.We left a great life in the UK, jobs, family, friends, etc hoping Oz would offer so much more. The wife did show concerns; massive hit on our house so sold for alot less, raising mortgage and house prices in Brisbane and were we too old for the move (both in our 40's). 2 teenage children that we wondered if they will settle but we (especially me) went with the flow saying it will be ok.

5 months on it isn't for me or my daughter. I have been struggling for weeks with the change and know in my heart I got more wrapped up in the adventure of coming over than the reality. Im not a hot weather lover or beach person (why come to Australia, you may ask. I really don't know!!). We came over with little money due to circumstances and now are in a position of not having enough money even to put down on a nice house, never mind affording the mortgage payment that would take 50% plus of our income a week. We have never had this issue and is affecting me greatly.

My wife likes it here and son does but if we are struggling what life is that!! For the sake of my mental health and general wellbeing we have decided to return. If we go back soon the kids can get back in their school and not interfere too much with my sons GCSE's. Job wise we will have to start looking again but fingers crossed. The houses are still low in South Yorkshire so can get on the property ladder ok. We still have some money over in the UK because we dare not bring it over because of the poor exchange rates.

I am not knocking Australia. It is a lovely country with lower crime and better weather (if you like sun). Would it be better for my children, I don't know. My son was doing really well in the UK and we did not have a bad life. The education here doesn't seem better and asking around the uni's are not as good as the UK.

3 things I would recommend for people who are thinking of emigrating;

 

1. Bring alot of money. Brisbane is soo expensive and house/rental is going through the roof.

2. Come when you are young and so are your kids.

3. If you are happy with life where you are, stick to it. Don't try and mend something that is not broken.

 

I know 5 months is not long but we need to go back soon to get our lifes back on track and not mess the kids education up. This experience has taught me how much I do love my wife, my family and happiness for us was right there in front of us, not at the other side of the world.

 

I think we would have been in the same situation if we had moved to Brisbane, luckily I came over for a reccie and decided it wasnt for me, so we moved to Tassie instead, been here a year now and wouldnt consider moving mack to the UK.

 

Could it be worth considering another part of Australia? wish you all the best what ever you do!

 

mark

[Guest rayman1]

Did reccie and activated visa April 2008 but anticipated bringing ALOT more money over than we did!!! Could move but kids education is paramount and do not think that would be a good idea now. I honestly do not think it is for me and can not see it being a brighter future for my family, only different. Good luck for all them who do stay and have a happy life but I'm sure millions of people are living in the UK very happy. I for one was one of them!!!

[aharcall]

, friends and family IMO too much is made of it as after the initial euphoric meeting its back to the meet at xmas birthdays etc.

 

 

That is what is so great. When you live here you dont even have meeting up at Christmas, birthdays, Easter, summer bbqs (and yes we do have them). Suppose it depends on what sort of relationships people have with their relatives.