Guest sundance Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Hi Everyone, I have a bit of a dilema My family and I came out to Perth in July this year we both got jobs here before we came and I am a newly qualified nurse and got a post grad programme here for 12 months. The children seem to have settled pretty quickly and are ok however my husband and I are so miserable here it may sound pathetic we used to moan about the UK but we really miss the shops, the change of weather(yes sad I know) everything in geeneral and do so regret coming we gave up so much to do this and I don't know what we expected but we feel so empty here., I spend most of my time crying. We are considering going back asap however this would mean I would have to break my 12 month contract with work and we also are totally broke financially we were gonna use our credit card to get back to uk and find somewhere to rent and get our furniture back etc but I won't have a job to go back to straight away although my husbands old boss said there may be a job for him back there - we feel we don;t know what to do for best - however in my heart I feel happiness has to be top priority - has anyone experienced what we are going through and could offer some advice - any shape or form would be greatly appreciated - feel so down want to do whats right for the family. Thanks so much SD x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 :hug::hug: what a dilemma. Is there a way you could do both? Could your DH go back before you (either with or without the kids all depending on age, support needs etc) and get established and then you follow along once you have finished your course? Would you be further financially disadvantaged if you were to break your contract? Would they require repayment of expenses for example? I dont say it would be totally a bed of roses but maybe staggering the cost of you going back and allowing him to build up some savings may be a bit easier on you all financially and you will then have the qualifications which would see you get a job more easily once you are back there. People will generally tell you to stick it out and whilst that may be good advice for the most part, if you can retrieve something eg a job which would otherwise disappear then you make decisions just that little bit quicker than maybe you would have done otherwise. You are in that hiatus period though - seems to be 3 - 6 months where people do think OMG what have I done????! You are right though, your mental health is the one thing you need to take very good care of (see the other thread on depression!) and you can do it in various ways including removing yourself from the stressors which may be leading you into depression. I hope you can sort out something that works for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Why not start sending out your CV to places back in the UK. There are also nursing homes where you could also try, they may not be your dream jobs but it will provide you with a foot in the door so to speak and you can build on that. If you're really feeling so lost and empty then what are you going to gain in prolonging your agony .... you'll end up more miserable and depressed. I've said before ... you get one shot at this life ... do what's going to make you happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofyhugger Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Hi. I am also a Registered Nurse and heading back to the UK in about 6 - 8 weeks all going to plan. You will easily get work in the UK, especially if you sign up with an agency like Pulse PULSE Nursing Agency UK, Nursing Jobs, Nurse Jobs, Vacancies and Recruitment UK, England which is where I will be going through all going well. You should contact the NMC Nursing & Midwifery Council in the UK as you may need to do a short course to catch you up with conversions and such. I don't think you will have any issue what so ever finding work, especially with the NHS or even private. I'm not sure if I am allowed to post links, so moderators please edit them if I am not. Cheers Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest adey Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 my heart goes out to you we were in the same position earlier this year after having lived in the South West of WA for nearly two years. I'm not going to tell you what to do, your hearts will know, but don't feel guilty that you don't like it and don't worry what other people think...if its not right for you guys then its just not right but at least you tried it. I don't want to frighten you but to be honest I'd speak to your employer or look at your contract to establish exactly how much money they would expect you to repay as we had to pay back a substantial amount as his employer assisted with the costs of moving over to Australia (flights, visa etc) which we were paying back initially on a monthly basis. This meant that he worked for the last two months or so without any take home pay and we still had to give them a cheque before we left the country. Personally I'd see out your 12 month contract and during that time stash away as much cash as you can for your return journey and see it as a role reversal of the excitment you guys felt when moving to Oz. You've already managed almost 6 months and I'm sure if you can see it as a means to an end the next 6 months will fly by. When you get back to the UK if you need to rent a property you will be expected to put down at least 6 months rent if you haven't got jobs....that's what we were required to do and had to borrow from family but it was worth it. So the more money you can get behind you before your return the easier the transition home as job seekers allowance took a month to sort out and housing benefit took 3 months so you need to have some money to fall back on. I can understand the things you missed and it still makes me laugh when people look at us shocked that we returned from Australia and say it wasn't for us and we are glad to be back in the UK. We have done more in the time since we came back (July) than we ever did in the two years we lived in Australia. Its not for everyone and I'm not knocking living there it was an amazing experience and we even built a house with the intention of living there for a very long time but the job wasn't what was expected and we were under threat of redundancy from 3 weeks after moving into the house we'd built for a year....so guess we never had time to actually enjoy the experience fully or feel settled. Coming back to the UK for us was the hardest decision we had to make, even harder than going I reckon, but it was by far the best decision as we are 100% more happier here even though only one of us has got a job and our earnings have dropped dramatically. Remember though you have only been there for the winter, which can be a shock as its a lot colder in the nights that you think and lots of storms etc in WA. The summer has just started and maybe just maybe after a nice hot summer, bbq's etc you may meet people and start making friends and look back at your first 6 months and think....weren't we daft wanting to go back to the UK. Its a huge culture shock as I think people expect it to be the same as living in the UK and its amazing to have permanent sunshine but the realities are sometimes a whole lot different as yep you have to work and usually longer hours and you will spend just as much time indoors or in the shade as the sun is too sharp to stand/sit in for very long, and the cost of living is similar to the UK as even though you may earn more you will also spend more on essential things no matter what the migrant agents tell you. Same old sh*t just a shinier (sunnier) shovel lol lol. Seriously though I'd give it a bit longer and if you really feel the way we did...then stash as much money away as you can and see it as a long working holiday until you return to good old blighty. good luck and hope things work out for you all sarah x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markandtraceyessex Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 hi guys, i read your post and it is sooo similar to what we went through! my wife was so unhappy and coming back to the uk was an elation. (please find our post called "another boomerang / ping pong family" it may be of interest) it is extremely tough and stressfull but for all the advice you recieve the descision will be yours. all the very sincere best of luck in your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou23 Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 I understand what you're going through, after two years out here as a nurse I want to go home! As a newly qualified nurse my advise who be to see out your new grad programme because it would make you more employable at home due to the extra education you have done during that year. If you can stick it out it will give you and hubbie chance to save and be in a better position when you go home. Get your CV together and start putting yourself out there in the next few months get in contact with UK based agencies or any contacts you made while you were training. If you have kept your UK registration you should have no problems, although as you appear to be UK trained you shouldn't have a problem anyway. But if you're applying from overseas to reinstate your registration this can take a little longer than home (so I'm told) so factor that in to your planning. Make the most of the next few months and take every opportunity especially at work to make you very employable. But remember nursing is loads harder at home than here (I think so anyway). Good luck huni. Things can only get better no matter what you decide! Mxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sundance Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 A big thank you to everyone that has replied to my post - I feel so much better knowing that there are other out there that have experienced the same or similar. We still don;t know whether to go now or wait until I complete my programme although I have taken on board what people have put on here about seeing my grad programme out which does make a lot of sense as I worked so hard to get my degree however we will see what happens one things for sure and we have agreed on this - by next Xmas we will be back on UK soil come hell or high water!! our nerves won't take any longer I don't think!! Once again many thanks to everyone - it means a lot Happy New Year to you all wherever you are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sooveroz Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 A big thank you to everyone that has replied to my post - I feel so much better knowing that there are other out there that have experienced the same or similar. We still don;t know whether to go now or wait until I complete my programme although I have taken on board what people have put on here about seeing my grad programme out which does make a lot of sense as I worked so hard to get my degree however we will see what happens one things for sure and we have agreed on this - by next Xmas we will be back on UK soil come hell or high water!! our nerves won't take any longer I don't think!! Once again many thanks to everyone - it means a lot Happy New Year to you all wherever you are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hi there - i agree with those who say finish off your grad programme - knowing you have an escape plan will make the last bit of time living here easier. i have a nursing/midwifery background and many friends in the UK in nursing management - jobs are still available but they are more difficult to come by. completing your grad programme will look good to a prospective employer in the UK - not only have you consolidated your nursing and gained experience, but it shows you can see out a committment. however i also know what its like to be miserable here - to sit down the beach, look at the ocean, watch the kids having fun in the water with the sun shining down and still think - WTF am i doing here??? great place for a two week holiday but life - no thanks. all the best with your decision. ps - we fly back in 20 days:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Billie Jeanes Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Hi happy new year - I know the feeling you describe and I think it is to be expected when you make a big move BUT I suggesst that you stay for a couple of years to be sure. Going home is always an option remember that when you feel really sad or a bit panicked. I think it takes at least a few years to really sort out your feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou23 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 hi there - i agree with those who say finish off your grad programme - knowing you have an escape plan will make the last bit of time living here easier. i have a nursing/midwifery background and many friends in the UK in nursing management - jobs are still available but they are more difficult to come by. completing your grad programme will look good to a prospective employer in the UK - not only have you consolidated your nursing and gained experience, but it shows you can see out a committment. however i also know what its like to be miserable here - to sit down the beach, look at the ocean, watch the kids having fun in the water with the sun shining down and still think - WTF am i doing here??? great place for a two week holiday but life - no thanks. all the best with your decision. ps - we fly back in 20 days:biggrin: You must be really excited about heading home, posting the 20 day thing on all your posts!!!! Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sooveroz Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 You must be really excited about heading home, posting the 20 day thing on all your posts!!!! Enjoy! thanks - yes - you could say that!! its 19 now - I cant wait to see my best mate and give her the longest hug ever. she's already booked us a trip to new york in april and the whole family (ie 14 of us) are going to florida for two weeks in october - I am so excited for my children to be spending time with their grandparents - thats the main thing as they have both been ill and are getting on a bit now. i will also see my new neice for the first time. we are having a christmas party on 23rd january too. happy days!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJBingham Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Why not just stay for the 12 months treat it as a working holiday enjoy what there is to see and do and head back home, nothing much will change while you're away and you will have had a fantastic experience and can spend the rest of your life in the U.K if that's what you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MSTO Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I would say stay and finish your post grad programme....you have managed 6 months here and knowing you only have 6 months left may make it easier for you to get through. We have been here 5 years and 6 months ago made the decision to go home, we will be heading back around June this year so a year from making the decision but as soon as we made our minds up I felt a whole lot better, knowing that a decision was made and we were going even it was still a year down the track....I just thought well thats it we are going lets just enjoy the last year as much as possible although I am aching to get back now....the last 6 months have flown round and I am sure the next 6 will too. Good luck in your decision...I hope everything works out for youx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 you have one life sundance,not two or three--my advice for what its worth is live it with a smile,from your thread theres not much smiling going on of late--please go to where the smiles are the most-------------take care-lol alan:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 This is what you should do. See out your contract, this will save you money by not paying back contract fees. Staying gives you no end of experiance in Nursing + giving you time to save to come home. If you go home too early you may end up ping ponging and thinking if only I gave it a little longer. I knew I wanted to come home after 3 months. I had doubts I had done the right thing after 3 weeks. But I was determined to stick it out for a year. I did the right thing now I'm home I know it's right but if I did not give it time I'd always wonder. At best: you stick it out then travel and see a little bit of Australia. Then come home. At worst: You might even decide you like it and stay & make a life. (Bored stiff maybe) but each to thier own. Anything longer than a year you'd have to be nuts. It is a short life so enjoy it. Good luck JohnX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I've been in Geelong since september 2008, and still have prolonged periods of thinking 'what on earth are we doing in this zombified town?' then on other days I slip into the brain dead mode of living and feel comfortably numb, which is quite nice really. I can't help thinking though if you do decide to go back home, that after a few years (or months) you might slip into the 'everything in the UK is ****' mentality again..I should know..ever since I met my Aussie wife we've gone from Oz to Uk to Oz to Uk to Oz in the space of 11 years. The choice comes down to 1. stay in Australia in a persistant vegitative state (also known as Citizenship) or return to the UK but risk thinking, OMG why on earth did we come back to this? Let's go back to Aus...and so on and so forth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemjay Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Been in oz 6 years currently live bayside melbourne after time in Brisi, Mornington peninsular and various parts of Melbourne been back to the UK twice for holidays enjoyed both times and have lived in limbo for the last 2 years, hence moving back in March, in our case we have concluded that its were the hearts at that matters and to carry on living in a state of limbo is pointless, but in our case is made easier having no kids are family in oz. Good luck to all struggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tiarna Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I have been here for just over 2 years with my family. When we first arrived I had a feeling it wasn't right but I then fell pregnant and just got on with things as you do. We recently went back to the UK for a visit and I knew for sure my heart was there. I miss so much too, especially family. But I so miss the UK too. You tend to always hear the negatives but I realised how much I miss about the Uk. I will appreciate it more. Unfortunately for me my OH doesn't feel the same and it has been very difficult and caused me a lot of stress and unhappiness. We are going back very soon and hope to settle down again. My OH is being so good about it but I will always feel guilty that I took his dream away. I just never felt the same. If you and your OH feel like this now I personally don't think it will change. It took me a visit back to realise how I really felt. But maybe you should stay the year and finish your contract. Treat the next 6 months as a holiday. You will be able to look forward to your return to the Uk and maybe make plans for when you do go back. I am dreading resettling again but luckily the children are pre school age so shouldn't affect them. Hopefully in the long run it will be whats best for us and whatever you decide will be whats best for you. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemjay Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Its not an easy decision We know to move back as everyones experience in oz is different, for us its obvious after getting citizenship 4 years ago which before that was the main reason to stay just to do the 2 years required(at that time) to get dual passports. Now 4 years on and all my expectations have completely changed we no longer enjoy living in limbo and have picked now to move back to the uk for many reasons. We look forward to a future in a house we can afford and spending time with family, friends with history, english countryside, Europe, Culture, Humble people, Seasons, Good tv, pubs, and so much more, its were you are born is were you will always be drawn to no matter what its nature, but for some its not a problem and for others its a constant yerning. Hope all works out:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Hi I too arrived in July, indeed I also wrote a post on here with similar feelings to your own, the feeling of sheer emptiness and regret. Things for me haven't got any better I am afraid and now, 5 months in I have been in tears every week and I am still wondering WTF have I done? Despite coming to Melbourne a number of times prior on hoiday and loving it, I am now finding it a very depressing place to live. No job/friends aside, I find it the most unliveable city I have ever been too ( and it is supposed to be no3 of the most liveable cities in the world??? ) The suburbs just sprawl into infinity and you need a car just to go for a loaf of bread, tackling 4 lane intersections because the public transport is crap. I long to be back in the nice part of London, with my old job and friends that I left. I have tried to get my job back and have sent some CVs to other companies there. How you go about getting a job there, from here, god only knows. Maybe I am just living in hope. What I find hardest to come to terms with is the fact that the past 5 years of putting my life on hold, while trying to apply to get here and dreaming of what life would be like has been a complete waste of time, effort, tears, money.... not to mention friends and a good job. I still don't know where I will be in the future. Again, people always say to me 'give it time', but I just know/feel that It will just never work here, especially if the exchange rate doesn't improve. Friends at home just can't believe I am even thinking of returning... they just do not understand though. Sometimes you really just don't realise what you have till it's gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tanyacollett Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 I'm so sorry you feel like that and as I read your message it takes me back to when I first arrived. Having spent 2 years waiting for my visa only to find Sydney one of the most unfriendliest places in the world and longing to be back in London. However, and this is so cliched I'm sure you are sick of hearing it, it is so much better 2 years later and now I can't imagine going home. I went back in June for aholiday and I had forgotten how loud, busy, scary London was and I hated it. You have to find a way to get through the next few months, what about moving to a different part of oz? I'm feeling your pain. God bless and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest johanna Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Hi just to say we emigrated to NSW in October and are feeling the same. We have 3 boys who are all unhappy. If we could return sooner we would but need to do at least another year due to owing location costs. I am trying to look upon it as an experience that if you didn't try you wouldn't know. good luck and let us know how it works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodfan Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 HiI too arrived in July, indeed I also wrote a post on here with similar feelings to your own, the feeling of sheer emptiness and regret. Things for me haven't got any better I am afraid and now, 5 months in I have been in tears every week and I am still wondering WTF have I done? Despite coming to Melbourne a number of times prior on hoiday and loving it, I am now finding it a very depressing place to live. No job/friends aside, I find it the most unliveable city I have ever been too ( and it is supposed to be no3 of the most liveable cities in the world??? ) The suburbs just sprawl into infinity and you need a car just to go for a loaf of bread, tackling 4 lane intersections because the public transport is crap. I long to be back in the nice part of London, with my old job and friends that I left. I have tried to get my job back and have sent some CVs to other companies there. How you go about getting a job there, from here, god only knows. Maybe I am just living in hope. What I find hardest to come to terms with is the fact that the past 5 years of putting my life on hold, while trying to apply to get here and dreaming of what life would be like has been a complete waste of time, effort, tears, money.... not to mention friends and a good job. I still don't know where I will be in the future. Again, people always say to me 'give it time', but I just know/feel that It will just never work here, especially if the exchange rate doesn't improve. Friends at home just can't believe I am even thinking of returning... they just do not understand though. Sometimes you really just don't realise what you have till it's gone. Hi, I feel for you on reading this, I know how you feel EXACTLY it's a horrible!. We have lived here since 2005 during which time we did go home for several months and ping-ponged (long story and involved doing what we thought best for our son) I think if you feel Melb. is not for you go with your gut feeling! as it probably never will be! you have an advantage if you have no children and are not stuck here because of that, you can always find another job! in the mean time you should try going to all the meetups that you can to get a bit of a social life until you finally decide what do do, we also live in Melb. and I agree with a lot you have said aboout it, the feeling of homesickness DOES get better, but does not go away! Good Luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jillsz Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 I agree, it can take a couple of years to feel settled, we have been here 5 years and have decided to go back this year, we just miss too much. A year will soon pass (it will!) see it through and then just go if you still feel the same Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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