Guest guest17301 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 I tell u what some people could argue the toss with a paper bag-just tell it how it is and for you and sod what anyone else thinks-for Gods sake we're all adults (hopefully) One mans meat is another mans poison. I don't condemn anybody for their choices-whats good for them is up to them- I do however take umbridge when someone elses choices are rammed down my throat as the 'only way' to go and that I must be stupid/naive or shallow not to see their point of view...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Lions Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 I would like to get this thread back on track if I may... In 2001 my wife, who is Australian, asked me how I would feel about living in Australia. Our eldest was 4 at the time and she wanted to let him experience her side of the world and start a large family. I was unsure at first, we talked a lot, I asked her a lot of questions, we looked into real estate. We discovered that we would be fortunate enough, through the sale of our house, to be able to buy a home outright and have change...I was sold. I had had my own problems with family and this contributed a lot...my leaving for Australia was a big 'screw you!'...silly I know, but it can get a bit silly sometimes when family are involved...Australia was still somewhat of a mythical beast to me...a faraway land where nothing bad seemed to happen...at least you never heardtoo easy, I think now!)... anything bad...Although my wife said it didn`t have to be forever, I secretly said goodbye to England, burned all my bridges, and armed with Bill Bryson`s Down Under sold the house and set off...I look back on that time now and realize I never considered that I maybe wouldn`t like life here, after all my wife was Australian and I certainly liked her and her talk of sand and beaches of big houses 'got me' added to the fact that being married would make residency extremely easy (it was all anyway, by 2002 we were here, we bought a lovely five bedroom house with a backyard that was bigger than our London home, cars, and it was such a breath of fresh air from London life...I didn`t suffer terribly from homesickness as such (I had my occasional moan, I missed London quite a bit)...Then we sort of settled into life...more children, a dog (Another reason added to moving, as it was not convenient to have one in the U.K and I had alway wanted one), then another dog...but...the whole time for me was overshadowed by a feeling...I wasn`t sure what it was...homesickness?...I didn`t think so, but it was something I had not felt before, and it was displacement. I felt no sense of belonging here, no connection, it was as if I was existing day to day in a bubble looking out at life passing me by...I would curse myself, remind myself of what Australia had to offer us, try and push through it for the sake of my children...but you can`t push through something like that...eventually living in an enviroment I felt I had no place in takes it`s toll, and it did, impacting hugely on my psyche and on the stability of our family...I was out of the enviroment that made me...me...and had become someone completely different. I guess I`m just one of many creatures that cannot adapt outside its own enviroment, which is unfortunate because I liked my children being here, it`s all they`ve known, I`m quite happy with their schooling and I told myself that any self respecting father would sacrifice his happiness for the sake of the children and I have, for seven long years until now I`m just so tied of trying to make it work...what some people should understand that living somewhere where you are very unhappy can lead to resentment, trivial things take on great importance until you develop a dislike that can border very easily on hate...England isn`t the best of places, by far, I don`t look upon England with tinted specs, I grew up in the Eastend so I have more tham a little experience of how things can be...my wife is all for returning, in fact her and my eldest are buzzing...I have my fears and doubts, like I say, I`ve grown up there, but our life before we moved here wasn`t awful, in fact it was pretty good...so, we are going back, this time with four children and two dogs in tow and hopefully, with hard work and I`m sure a bit of a struggle we will rekindle that life, show our childrem my side of the world and expose them to further experiences...like I said, it`s unfortunate that things didn`t work out...it`s unfortunate that the U.K is in the midst of so many of its own problems...but the bottom line for me is that it is home. Australia never will be. What I would say to all those making the journey, aside from good luck, is...keep doors open, don`t burn your bridges like I did...I thought this was forever but you cannot predict future feelings or what couses your life may take... JL Wasn't sure I was going to bother posting again......but had to respond to this post. The extracts that I have highlighted in blue are eerily similar to my own story. I had had some family issues plus was not happy in my career in the UK and coming to Australia for me was definitely a bit of a ''screw-you'' at the time. I let myself be too easily persuaded by my wife also; I definitely had some big doubts but she didn't listen too well and I should have listened to my doubts deep inside. I VERY foolishly thought that Australia would be a sort of panacea for the financial problems we were experiencing in England; everyone tells you that everything is so so cheap in Australia and you'll live like a King in comparison with UK life but that isn't a universal truth as it is often made out to be. Things have sky-rocketed price-wise in Australia in the last decade or so and I earn similarly to how I did in the UK (but in a career I prefer, thankfully...that's the one saving grace here) and I can afford basically the same...certainly not the vast improvement that is often part of the Aussie sales pitch, along with beaches and sun of course. I think the message from John Locke and myself is that you can't take big decisions lightly and use them as a ''screw-you!'', expecting life in Australia to be somehow devoid of all the troubles you experienced in the UK. Like John Locke, I have felt ''displaced'', sort of like I don't know who I am anymore. I think some people have their home and the essence of the place deep within them, and others do not. The latter can live abroad and not mind too much, but those who feel a stronger connection or attachment to the familiar surroundings of their upbringing can find it a lot harder I think. I too have worried about being ''selfish'' if I were to take my family back to the UK. I don't know if it will ever happen, and if it does, I don't think it will be too soon somehow, but I don't like the idea of never living in the UK ever again. The trouble is, people often give you ''that look'' whenever you say you want to go home, as if you must be a madman for not preferring Australia in all respects. This is the one-eyed, ''Australia is best and England is crap'' thinking which takes too little into account and doesn't allow for individual preference and personality. If you want to be able to go fishing and sit on the beach for 2/3 of the year and Australia gives you that then good for you. But Australia does not provide everything good in the world, contrary to those that insist it does, and there are things that many people will be missing out on by living here, the things that they happen to really enjoy and appreciate. Sometimes, as John Locke has said, it might just be a feeling of belonging, fitting in with the people around you and the prevailing culture. I've seen people on here dismiss people missing things like match of the day or the shops, but sometimes, often in fact, it is the little things that make us who we are. It is the little things that keep people going when they are down or experiencing adversity of any kind. Often, simply, it is the little things that we miss most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tlander56 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Ok My Aussie husband and my 3 young children and me are returning to Uk for the following reasons: 1. The distance combined with time difference makes it nearly impossible to maintain my strong relationships(and my childrens relationships) with our close UK family. Email/skype the odd visit (if able to afford it) is just not good enough for us. This is forever remember. 2. On balance, in my opinion, we do not have a better quality of life over here in Oz. Beaches,swimming pools, bbq lifestyle do not make up for trips to Europe, spending time with family, walks in the woods, small village fetes, snow, cold christmas,country pubs etc...I was hoping that teh children would do more sport at school here in Oz but that doesnt seem to be the case. 3. Financially, we were better off in UK. Our mortgage is a tracker so at the moment we pay next to nothing (we have rented out our house) food and clothes are cheaper in UK and we benefitted from Childrens Tax credit with 3 children. We have looked at houses over here and the 4 bed plus pool dream home we would really struggle to pay for. 4. We had more work opportunities in UK and extended family to help with children. My aussie husband is really struggling for work over here-even with contacts that he grew up with. We dont live on the coast we are 3 stops from Brisbane CBD! 5. Weather-well we were never going to enjoy the hot summers. My husband is very aware that children should stay out of the harsh sun so I feel its easier to put on a coat,scarf etc and head to the park than constant suncream, hats and worrying about melanomas! That said, I have had a good mole check over here-one thing the Aussies do very well! Its a personal choice and everyone is different. We have visited Bisbane every two years and I love my husbands Country. I needed to be sure I was not short changing our (half Aussie) kids by living in UK...and now I am sure. Home mid july-cant wait, neither can my family. We are in an identical boat to you guys! and agree with all your points...Hoping to head home ASAP too...where are you heading back to? Tanya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 and we hope that in the long run you'll be able to tell more or less the same story too? .........................THE END ............ for now. More or less, the difference being that the big bloke gave me a bloody good hiding but I still got everyone's respect for havin' a go and entertainin' 'em with a bloody good blue and bein' a silly ol' bastard for even trying to take 'im on. Yeah, tis good here 'cause there's blokes like Bobcat who get stuck in and write bloody good stories :notworthy: And as he says in his sig: if today was not an endless highway if tonight was not a crooked trail, if tomorrow wasn't such a long time, then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all, Good 'un mate. kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marriedtoanaussie Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 To Tanya Back to Hertfordshire mid July. Back to my sisters new baby. Back to my parents who cant believe their luck. Back to my brother and his kids. Our small village school have made room for our 9 and 5 olds and our 2 year old has a place in Nursery. We wont forget our time here. All the children can sing the Aussie Nat anthem off by heart. !!! I am proud of us all for trying it and even prouder of my husband for happily returning. Then again, he loved being an Aussie in Hertfordshire-very excotic. This whole thing has tested our relationship to the extreme. Australia will always be part of our family and have a place in our hearts but now we can move forward as a happy family enjoying our life in UK without the constant question....ARE WE ALL BETTER OFF IN OZ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Lions Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I just hear the alarm bells ringing when I read a post from someone still in the UK who is obviously convinced that Australia is going to solve all their problems. I do think it's a little irresponsible when people try and tell these poor folk that Australia is little short of perfect. I've been on the receiving end of that myself; it certainly had a pretty big impact on my decision to come here. I perhaps wouldn't have rushed into it (relatively speaking, of course) if I'd had more people saying ''be careful, it's not always all it's cracked up to be''. That's why I think the people who aren't happy in Australia have such a valuable role in websites like this. They are the voice of the ''it isn't for me'' potential outcome that some people, still in the UK at the moment, might find themselves experiencing once they are here. Obviously, they may well come to Australia and find it is wonderful for them and they won't look back but I think that, seeing as I think we can all agree that there are more than enough people all over the place saying how great Australia is, including on this website, people like me and John Locke and Quoll and many others offering their cautionary tales is an important component which should not be overlooked lightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Three Lions...credit people with some intelligence, I don't think many people move to Australia with the view that it will 'solve all their problems' Most people have thoroughly researched the move- anyone that comes unprepared is bound to hit a few problems along the way. Its definitely not Utopia but it is...for many many people comparitively better than what they left behind. Alongside cautionary tales we also need encouragement and positivity in equal measure. it's all about a balanced view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Lions Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Three Lions...credit people with some intelligence, I don't think many people move to Australia with the view that it will 'solve all their problems' Most people have thoroughly researched the move- anyone that comes unprepared is bound to hit a few problems along the way. Its definitely not Utopia but it is...for many many people comparitively better than what they left behind. Alongside cautionary tales we also need encouragement and positivity in equal measure. it's all about a balanced view. You have to argue, don't you. Plenty of people, including myself and John Locke, have held their hands up to thinking along those very lines. It is easier to do than perhaps you think. I wasn't trying to insult anyone's intelligence so don't purposefully imply I was with the hope of getting mods onto me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I agree Three Lions! People do move here to "solve issues" which is not the thing to do. They move here thinking that they can run away from whatever they have in the UK and life will be great! Thats why I wanted this thread running,, so that those planning to come here can see the good and bad. ALso with your stories we can see good comes from bad! It may be that moving here and being unhappy has made people appreciate everything that they have in UK! PS Never thought I`d say I agree with ya three Lions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I tell u what some people could argue the toss with a paper bag-just tell it how it is and for you and sod what anyone else thinks-for Gods sake we're all adults (hopefully) One mans meat is another mans poison. I don't condemn anybody for their choices-whats good for them is up to them- I do however take umbridge when someone elses choices are rammed down my throat as the 'only way' to go and that I must be stupid/naive or shallow not to see their point of view...... Yup, that is definitely how we all feel! It is interesting that the "it didnt work" thread has now rocked up 6 pages compared with what is it? 3 pages, of "this is the brilliant life" thread. Sadly many of the posts on here have had that "you've got it all wrong" type slant along with one or two which really should be in the "Australia is the best thing since sliced bread" thread (to prove the point that those for whom it didnt work got it all wrong?) - perhaps the mods would like to move them to where they belong to give folk the positive view point. I cannot for the life of me work out why folk are so defensive unless it be that their cognitive dissonance is working overtime. Absolutely, one man's dream is another man's nightmare and that works in both directions. For some of us, the realization that we are not Robinson Crusoe in our feelings of notbelonginness is the lifting of a huge cloud and that is equally valuable to forum members. We dont need people to come along and tell us we are negative nellies - for us we are newly found enlightened folk who have a new framework for getting on with our lives, be it to return to the UK yesterday, to make a decision down the track aways or to stick around because we have no alternative. Sometimes just the normalization of feelings is enough to give people the strength to carry on with whatever their chosen path is. No one is telling anyone the ONLY WAY TO GO but voicing their own experiences, feelings and opinions - no one is saying that they are the absolute truth just that they are legitimate experiences, feelings and opinions. It would be great if folk on both sides of the great divide were equally respectful. In lots of ways it would be a whole lot easier if those who love, adore and want Australia to have their children, just dont venture onto threads where it is painfully obvious that you are going to get a less than glowing view of Australia (like this one for example) then we can have a reasonable and rational discussion about the issues raised therein. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I definitely had some big doubts but she didn't listen too well and I should have listened to my doubts deep inside.] I think people who have doubts should listen to them - moving anywhere let alone to the other side of the world won't always make those doubts go away ... in fact they can multiply and cloud your whole experience because they can eat away and make people feel they are failing. Additionally moving to make something feel right doesn't always work. [ everyone tells you that everything is so so cheap in Australia and you'll live like a King in comparison with UK life but that isn't a universal truth as it is often made out to be.] Agree... in the year we were waiting we saw house prices increase, brother and sister-in-law both felt it was more expensive when they visited than they thought it would be. [ I have felt ''displaced'',] Problably the best description I've heard to sum up how people who want to return to the UK are feeling Thanks for your post 3 Lions Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 IMO I feel it is very brave for some of us to open up and truly admit how they feel as they may be opening themselves up for criticism. Emotionally it is a challenging journey for all of us who love it here, those that hate it and the not so sure's !!! Some who love it now may end up feeling very differently whilst some who hate it may go on to love it ldepending on how life goes!! Most of us have this in the back of our minds and needless to say it can result in 'heated discussions'. None of us want to be proved wrong whichever way we feel. In view of my rather indecisive and fragile emotional state since going down this route, I have a tendency to swing one way then the other!! so I'm still not sure whether it is or isn't working just yet!! jxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Its a brave thing to up and move around the world. Its a braver thing to up and move back and say it wasnt for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Lions Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 In lots of ways it would be a whole lot easier if those who love, adore and want Australia to have their children, just dont venture onto threads where it is painfully obvious that you are going to get a less than glowing view of Australia (like this one for example) then we can have a reasonable and rational discussion about the issues raised therein. Yes, totally correct Quoll. If you look at certain people's responses it is obvious they are trying to create argument because they are pointlessly picking on things that those of who don't like Australia 100% have said and at times they also appear to be actively trying to misconstrue our points so that they may imply that we have said things that we have not. Just look at someone's post in response to something I said earlier on today. Picking on it and implying I have said things I blatantly haven't. Why come on to these threads if you love Australia and are simply hell-bent on suggesting that people who don't like it are nothing but ''trolls''??? Incidentally, calling someone a ''troll'' is a roundabout way of saying ''your opinions don't count and I'm going to couch my dismissal of your ideas in cyber-terms like 'troll' which I think make me look clever''. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Lions Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Its a brave thing to up and move around the world. Its a braver thing to up and move back and say it wasnt for you Exactly. Much more guts in saying "I moved to Australia but I don't like it enough to stay'' than in ''I moved to Australia and it's bloody brilliant and aren't I just the greatest for liking it so much''. .....and even more guts in daring to post that you don't like it on websites like this.......!!!!!!!!!!!........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlom Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Hi all, Thanks everyone for your positive and negative comments, it is so interesting to hear, particularly for people like us who are just at the beginning of the planning stage to leave our home country. I guess for most people there is no perfect place, there will always be elements of home that we miss and elements of Oz that people love. I don’t think it should be a disappointment or feeling of "it didn’t work",...life is short and is about getting the most from it. For many people, moving to Oz was the best option at the time and was initially a great adventure and if that changes that ok too. They will have experienced life on the other side of the world and are far better off going and realizing it is not for them than never going and always wondering about it and regretting not giving it a try. We however are just at the start of that life journey, excited and enthustaic about the possibilities for our little family. Excited about the new places we will see and new friends we will meet. We are at the beginning of a long journey, who’s outcome is uncertain. Perhaps we will grow old in Australia or maybe end up back here, where all things began. Whatever the outcome, I would far rather return having not liked it than to grow old here forever wondering what life would have been like on the other side of the world, had only we given it a try. Life is a journey not a destination, enjoy that journey, where ever it takes you..... Karl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pegasus 90 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I must say I totally agree with 3 L & also love reading Quoll's posts. From the perspective of outside looking in; there is relatively little contrary views of life in Oz to the uninitiated. I certainly would have appreciated something like PIO when I emigrated nearly 10 yrs ago. What I find interesting is the different views of posters & how that can sometimes appear to change dependant on the time here in Oz. Don't get me wrong, I am not in the 'Oz Bashing Camp' by any means, on the contrary Australia has been good to me. My story is slightly different; my wife desperately wants to go back to UK & is totally unhappy here, so in effect it has not worked out for her but I have never been that bothered about going back to UK. Therein lies my dilema!!! The first 2-4 years are without doubt very difficult financially & emotionally, & it is massively frustrating as a bloke to have to take a big step backwards in salary and position when entering the workforce. Nevertheless I accepted it as an Australian version of 'paying your dues' & just got on with it. Over the years I have built a decent career and moved up positions.So all in all I am happy with work & generally content. I think this is a key point in my situtation (& probably most men), because a lot of my time & energy is involved into building a career it can be easy to become indifferent to the thought of life in U.K. When things came to a head late last year, the thought of going back filled me with dread!, although I must say it has made me sit up and really begin to analyse things about our life here. I freely admit I do miss the variety & diversity of life in UK, there always seemed to be something to do (no matter the weather). I would love to travel more to Europe & that is just out of the question from W.A. We have very young children when we first came over, but i'm beginning to think that maybe we are missing out on a lot of things living here now that they are older. From what I have read on PIO I think the reason & circumstances that people left over, is linked to how you settle and your views of either country. In England me & my wife had well paid, secure jobs with an average house in a reasonably safe area. So we were not trying to escape anything; we just fancied a change of scenery & the excitement of living overseas. In essence we had a good life & have fond memories of U.K. Maybe it's all changed now & we are just being nostalgic I don't know. I like living here but I've come to recent conclusion that I don't 'love' living here and that maybe I'm just merely content. Nevertheless I can't help wondering if I'll go back & hate it!!!. Decisions, decisions; oh well having a trip back next year (1st time in 7yrs) but in the meantime I'll just keep sitting on the fence!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Livvy Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I can't help thinking that, if one is ultimately very happy and content here and has no doubts on their choice to live here in Australia they would cease to participate in the forum. It is those with doubts and uncertainty that chose to continue and be kept informed on others thoughts and feelings at least to justify their own! Just an inkling!! jxx Um, the forum is called Poms IN Oz. Surely, if anyone should think about not using this forum, it should be those who are no longer Poms in Oz??!!! Why don't you start up your own forum called 'Poms who came to Oz and decided they didn't like and went back home to to England .com?" Haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Um, the forum is called Poms IN Oz. Surely, if anyone should think about not using this forum, it should be those who are no longer Poms in Oz??!!! Why don't you start up your own forum called 'Poms who came to Oz and decided they didn't like and went back home to to England .com?" Haha I think you missed the point there and dont really see too much to laugh at. I guess I have a similar bemusement to Jackie - those that are making it here probably wouldnt bother to think about whether there was a forum about being a Pom in Oz (well down the yellow brick road!). I certainly had no inkling there were boards such as this until someone on another board I frequent put up a link to a discussion about Madeleine McCann which lead me first to BE and then here. I think, for the most part, those that are here and living their lives with the natives, probably arent lurking on this and other boards. Some stay because they were helped on their journey and would like to repay the kindness. AFAIK there are only one or two who are on the board here and who have been and gone back to UK, those that go home generally are so bloody happy to be there that they are enjoying life and dont need the support offered here. A couple are thinking of pingponging and seeking support for that. And, to reiterate, if you dont want to read stories about going back to UK then stay out of the Moving Back to the UK part of the forum - there, easy isnt it? ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hearne_Family Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I have posted on this thread already stating that those who are not happy with Aus have the right to post and I have been keeping an eye on this thread and had hoped not to post in here again because I think that things are taken a little too far sometimes and personal insults are traded. I am happy here....totally happy with no doubts what so ever. I used this forum as a major part in making the choice to move here, we had never been to Aus before so to hear from those living out here gave us a better idea, we read both positive and negative posts to get a full balanced view. I still post on this forum because the help I had from everyone on here made my descision a little easier and I am glad to repay the PIO forums by giving my advice to others looking at making the move, the company I work for are taking on more workers from the UK in the next few months and I am in contact with a few of them giving them advice on the interview process and the company, and I hope that those I help are glad to have a pom out here who is living it giving them help and advice when they ask for it. I am 100% happy here and Im glad to help others who want to make the move and thats why I still post on this forum and I read any thread that interests me and I will reply to any thread too. I hope that those who ask me my opinion also seek advice from those who dont like Australia to get a fair balanced view, I think we just need to accept that those who love it will get a little riled by those who dont posting about their experiances and vice versa. We cannot argue to someone who hates it here that it is a great place, when someone has made a choice in THEIR lives then we should respect that, we dont need name calling, just admire people for sticking by their convictions. For those of you who have made the choice to move back to the UK - I wish you the best, I really do, at least now you will be able to say you tried and it didnt work. For those who like me love it - we are lucky that the dream was all we hoped it would be, lets not have a pop at those who dont like it here. There...preaching done, good luck to all. Terry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NigelWaring Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Seems like a long return trip might be good for some people. My first trip back to UK was after 20 years, spoke to an old friend on the phone, he said "come down to the XXX pub, remember we all go there on Friday nights". That's what I noticed after that length of time, in many areas everyone was still doing the same thing, they hadn't moved on or improved their lives. Perhaps I've been very lucky, everything has worked out so well here but I did work fairly hard to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kierodeniro Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Ok I'm finally biting too!! :biglaugh: I too am in the camp of initially settling and liking it here but now wanting to go home When we arrived 9 years ago our family was in a completely different stage and the laidback lifestyle of Perth suited us. After some initial wobbles we worked hard and made a decent life here. The point is though you have to keep working at it and I don’t ever remember having to work at it so hard in England. Quoll is correct when she says many people here are itinerant. I have had many friends over the years (still do..not quite a billy no mates yet ;-) ) but have found people tend to move more frequently (we have too) and don’t have the same ties to an area that we might have had back home. Others have gone back to the UK, or have just moved on with their lives. I find this makes forming lasting meaningful friendships difficult. I am bit over the weekly back yard BBQ now which is the main form of socialising here. Going out is expensive in Perth especially with older children, I am over paying $35 dollars for a meal and $9 dollars for a glass of wine. I am over the hot weather, the in your face “Aussie” mentality, the flies!!! the fact that the population of Perth is so scared of change. Others love it for that same fact!! There are good points about this place, but not enough to keep me here forever. Once you get past the sun, beach etc, I have found that there really is not much under the surface here that interests me. We never left England because we hated it, we wanted to experience living in another country and we had the opportunity to do it. My only regret is letting life take over and staying here too long. I am not Australian (well only on paper) and I never will be, I don’t want to be and I don’t want my children to be. The sun, beaches and BBQ’s are OK for a while but fundamentally I am English and would prefer to be in England. Good for you! I feel exactly the same! I'm moving back in 3 months and counting!!! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest homeiswheretheheartis Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Marriedto and Aussie and Quoll, excellent posts. Really informative and very balanced. Quoll, I do not feel sorry for you but I do feel for you - and all those others who have OHs who consider another place 'home'. For me, been here for 18 months. Came as an adventure in one of those, 'you only get one life, let's live it LARGE!' moments. Didn't think too much about it. Didn't have too many expectations. Thought it would be more beautiful. Did so little research my opinions were moulded by the 'Where the bloody hell are you?' adverts... naive? Me? Maybe... I only have a few British friends in Oz. I can speak openly with them about things. BUT when an Aussie asks me if we are going to stay and I am honest... well - let's say I have learnt to be just positive and enthusiastic about all things Australian... Here's what I have noticed that isn't for me... 1) Shopping malls - what's wrong with a local Post Office and Butchers? I live in the Gap, Brisbane and we have a hideous 'Gap Village' which is soul destroyingly souless. 2) Fast food joints. Hello?... I was expecting juice bars and local bakeries... not the americanised splurge of joints peddling fat and grease on every corner. 3) Medical system... I have private cover and still get hefty bills... 4) Nice beaches... yes .. they are there but often very far apart. When we arrived in Brisbane, we looked at the map and headed for Nudgee Beach. A mud flat. Then we moved on to Sandgate... more mudflats, then Redcliffe, getting better but not what we had hoped... we did this all the way up to Noosa and were still underwhelmed. I was expecting the likes of Whitsunday Island around every corner. Remember, I come from Cornwall where you can turn a corner and be faced with a little fishing village with golden sandy beaches stretched out in front of you... No no no... I am not a 'whinging pom'... so I will stop. There are many more things but it's not Australia that's the problem. I chose to come here. I think it's my expectations. It's nothing what I thought it would be like. We didn't research. We just came. I got my expectations from what people said. 'It's amazing. Fantastic. Beautiful. Paradise....' I have come to the conclusion that it is all that. BUT if you have a broad spectrum of previous destinations to compare it with is it really all that when compared to what you've had? For me, I am lucky enough to have this lot locked into my memory bank... We owned a house in France and wondered amongst vineyards and valleys... I lived in Spain and danced through the streets of unbelievably picture postcard fishing villages during the summer fiesta... I lived in Belgium and made it my quest to visit as many monasteries as possible... all in the quest for the perfect beer... We lived in Germany for 9 years and explored Bavaria, the splendid skiing of the Alps, marvelled at the Christmas Markets and mulled wine and the unexpected treasures of the coast... I have enjoyed the Apres-ski in Switzerland after hair raising days on the slopes... We had the best holiday of our lives in Tuscany... whilst cycling 60kms a day through 'to die for' villages and rolling hills... I ate open sandwiches on the docks in Copenhagen and wondered at the fascination of the 'little mermaid'... I wandered thought cobbled streets in Holland and dodged bicycles on my way... We holidayed in the Carribbean and got caught up in the carefree welcoming 'island life'... I was mystified by the popularity of Prague and couldn't help thinking I had missed the 'good parts'... We drank strong coffee and ate delicious cake in the shadows of the mountains in Austria... We welcomed in the New Year with 20 thousand other fancy dress clad revellers on the cobbled streets of St.Ives, Cornwall... I EVEN... marvelled at the 'tinyness' of little country called Luxemborg and spent a day laying back on the grass watching the flags of many nations fly high and flutter in the breeze... So... for me, whilst sunny weather, BBQs and beaches are great... I know I will go back. Many people who have done all of the above arrive here and immediately settle. Some, like me, don't. It's not the country, it's the person. And this here person will fly away 'home' after enjoying the gems of this beautiful land. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest homeiswheretheheartis Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 PS... sorry the previous post was toooo long. I got caught up in the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Remember, I come from Cornwall where you can turn a corner and be faced with a little fishing village with golden sandy beaches stretched out in front of you... The strange thing with my oh is that she was based at Helston when she was in the Navy and she lived in Millendreath, nr Looe, Cornwall with her parents before she married me. I thought her existence there was idyllic. Farmhouse living with their own produce and a 2 minute walk to the most lovely beach. I couldn't wait to go visit her parents every 6 months or so, if only to get away from bawdy Blackpool. We toured the UK last June, visiting all our old haunts and she hardly batted an eyelid.....couldn't wait to get back to Oz..............me?..... the more I saw, the more I doubted why I had left, but not her. You'll know this place...........the net shed at Polperro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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