I came to Oz and it didnt work because......................

[Qldrobin]

For those immigrants whose journey didnt work out the way they wanted!

 

Tell your story...............

 

Our story is much the same as Quoll's, so I won't dwell on this. I guess that we all have different tolerence levels and abilities in managing change and uncertainty. Having been here for 7 years, I now have my immediate family split between the 2 countries. Son in Bristol and daughter in Brisbane.

 

From September, I intend to spend the next 7 years in England. My wife has already gone back, incidentally, she's not English but Danish and prefers England to anywhere in the world. This means that it's not always the emotional family/football/beer/marmite/PG Tips rationale that prevails, but simply the fact that we have choices and make balanced decisions based on these.

 

Australia has got into me and I know that I'll be back (I prefer Veggimite):biglaugh:

I don't mean to be flippant, but sometimes you have to be to mask an underlying sadness, it's just how you deal with things sometimes.

 

I would point out that when I lived in England, with each winter I suffered more and more from S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) and the Queensland sun has erased this for me.

 

I think that this has been a good thread and many would find the comments sad but in a strange way reassuring.

[Kazzarazza]

I can't help thinking that, if one is ultimately very happy and content here and has no doubts on their choice to live here in Australia they would cease to participate in the forum. It is those with doubts and uncertainty that chose to continue and be kept informed on others thoughts and feelings at least to justify their own!

 

Just an inkling!!

 

jxx

 

Sorry Jackie, but apart from being off the original topic, this post is the biggest load of twaddle I've read for a long time. Talk about generalising and making assumptions.

 

I've been here since 1990, absolutely love it and never once thought of going back. I am also very fortunate that my husband feels exactly the same. I "found" and joined this site last October 2008, whilst researching sponsorship visas for a family member, how de-facto relationship impact on applications, etc, etc.

 

This site has been an invaluable source of information, especially when so many changes have been made to the process in the last 5 months. It is also addictive when you are the kind of person who likes to help others and I can only hope that some of my posts have been helpful - particularly on the Pomsinadelaide side.

 

Kazza

[Siblin!]

I think it's hard to not let yourself be absorbed by how much you don't like where you are and enjoy the good bits. It's a kinda of niggle that gets bigger and bigger . What i find wierd as well is, how i find it hard to understand how other people don't feel a bit of a viod too. But we are all very different and that's how it goes.

[Guest Mark and Sharon]

Back to the question that started this thread,we`re going home next thursday we`ve only been here 5 month`s so not very long at all.We came here with high hope`s of making it work for us and for a better life for the 4 of us but i can`t find work and for someone who has never been out of work in 24year`s it drove me mad, Sharon had a job and we we`re coping financial wise ok.Charlie our son loves it Emily can take or leave it same as Sharon i like Australia but don`t love it.Sharon is not coping very well with the missing family and friend`s part of it all either,we still have our house in the uk and i can get my old job back.We alway`s said that if 1 of us is really unhappy and want`s to go home we would so that`s what we`re doing.I guess if the world wide recession had not of been so bad and getting worse and i could of found work and settled down to a routine straight away thing`s could`ve been different but that`s not how thing`s have turned out.Our life back home was a good life we just tried to find a better one here ,we havn`t so we`re go back to our good old life and look back on Australia as a fantastic experience,we`ve still got 4years on our visa so you never know we might be back.All those people who love it here i wish you every happiness for future for those of you like us remember we had the balls to try it and even bigger balls to go back.

[Guest Bronte]

Mark & Sharon, I think your post is beautiful and shows real family concern, love & unity. I wish your family all the best and am glad you have the wisdom & opportunity to keep your options open properly - even after only 5 months. I know people who have also only been here a short time and done an about turn - it's not that unusual and you must follow your heart if finances/situation allows it. We had set our trial period at 2 years (which was really tough, especially the first 6-12 months) and 14 years later I am still here, but by circumstance not desire. Ultimately we are all just trying to be happy & settled, whichever side of emigration you're on... Hats off to those who dared to try!

 

This is an important thread on this forum and I think it brings some balance to the Ozmania fantasy. Not all of us have had a positive experience, despite trying hard for many years...it can be a land of great isolation & downright misery if it all goes wrong, and for a few of us, it sadly does. I for one, have had enough and would love to return to the UK but have to face the fact that I am stuck here, totally alone, which wasn't how the fairytale was meant to be...

[Bobcat]

Back to the question that started this thread,we`re going home next thursday we`ve only been here 5 month`s so not very long at all.We came here with high hope`s of making it work for us and for a better life for the 4 of us but i can`t find work and for someone who has never been out of work in 24year`s it drove me mad, Sharon had a job and we we`re coping financial wise ok.Charlie our son loves it Emily can take or leave it same as Sharon i like Australia but don`t love it.Sharon is not coping very well with the missing family and friend`s part of it all either,we still have our house in the uk and i can get my old job back.We alway`s said that if 1 of us is really unhappy and want`s to go home we would so that`s what we`re doing.I guess if the world wide recession had not of been so bad and getting worse and i could of found work and settled down to a routine straight away thing`s could`ve been different but that`s not how thing`s have turned out.Our life back home was a good life we just tried to find a better one here ,we havn`t so we`re go back to our good old life and look back on Australia as a fantastic experience,we`ve still got 4years on our visa so you never know we might be back.All those people who love it here i wish you every happiness for future for those of you like us remember we had the balls to try it and even bigger balls to go back.

 

Sorry it didn't work out for you Mark & Sharon............. best of luck at the other end back home.

 

If it isn't for you; then it isn't for you and that's it........... at least you have given it a go although many will say that 5 months is neither here nor there ............ you should have maybe stayed a bit longer? We were in exactly the same situation as you about 19 years ago.......... except we hated it here after only 3 months and were itching to go back home. I'd been here for 13 years when single and absolutely loved it; but when I returned to Perth with a young family in tow it was a different story.

 

This topic has been ongoing for several years; here's my reply to the same question from a couple of years ago............... everything is basically the same as it was then only the lads are now 2 years older :-

 

It isn't all beer and skittles over here.........but hey; it isn't too bad either. At the end of the day it all really boils down to what you yourself make of it. If you aren't afraid of hard work.......... the sky is the limit. You should find countless opportunities to better yourself downunder.

 

At the moment the weather in Perth can at best be described as poxy; but that will change once summer kicks in ........... and then no doubt we will all be whingeing that it is too hot ? :twitcy:

 

It's a fantastic place to bring our kids up, schools are good...... sporting facilities are good.......... the weather encourages lots of outdoor activity.

 

It hasn't always been a bed of roses; in fact we endured severe hardship along our journey. We arrived during the great recession that we had to have........... and there wasn't any work about. Rather than throw in the towel and return to the UK which we often thought about doing............... we persevered and put up with the hardship.

 

Being out of work long term meant our savings soon dwindled........... and some days a spare dollar to buy a morning newspaper was out of the question......... that's how bad it was for us in the early days :wacko:

 

Anyway; we just plodded on regardless hoping there was light at the end of the tunnel ..... and eventually our perseverance paid off as there was light at the end of the tunnel.

 

All 3 boys have completed their schooling and have gone on to bigger and better things. We were fortunate to get them in a school NOR that runs a mining course. Our eldest son at 22 is currently a trainee manager up the mines. Middle son lives in Kalgoorlie and completes his mining degree in December......... and starts a post graduate position with BHP in January. Our baby at 19 is halfway through a TAFE Diploma which will stand him in good stead for an off-shore job on the rigs.

 

We used to live on a very run-down council estate in the north west of England, during which time we never had two halfpennies to rub together. We now own outright property worth roughly in excess of $2.0 million. We have 5 cars and I drive a Jag. I don't work for anyone else as I own my own real estate company.

 

Could i have achieved the same living in the UK?........... my answer is a resounding NO! In that respect living in Oz far outweighs the option of us living in the UK............ but it shouldn't be about materialistic things............. the whole lifestyle in general is far much better downunder!!!

 

I hope you do realise your dream and get to live downunder........... and i hope everything goes in your favour? It will all boil down to you and what you make of your new adopted country.

 

Good luck __________________

[Guest Hearne_Family]

Can I just add that I am not taking sides in the arguments raised in this thread and wanted no parts of any arguments, I just think that sometimes the posts that can be seen by some as negative always get a bit of a bashing. This thread is a good idea as it gives those who regret their descision the place to give their reasons why.

 

If my original reply to this thread upset the thread starter or anyone else I apologise.

 

Terry

[Guest guest30038]

Hi, I'm a newbie who tends to "tell it like it is" and 'shoot from the hip", based on my own experience and attitudes, so please don't think that I am targeting anyone in particular if some of what I say may appear that way.

 

I left the UK 13 yrs ago with my two youngest sons aged (then) 3 and 18months, leaving 3 older boys behind, serving in the army. I'm 60 yrs old, married to a wonderful wife who is 12 yrs my junior and who keeps me young at heart :biggrin:

 

Last June, we returned for a month long tour in a campervan, and any doubts (few) that we had about living in Oz were quickly dispelled. I love the lake district and the highlands of Scotland and they had been sorely missed, but a couple of visits to hospital whilst I was over there, confirmed that IMHO, little has changed.

 

We left initially for two major reasons.........1 My wife felt that she couldn't nurse as she ought to and 2. we were really convinced that the UK was not a place where we wished to raise our two youngest.

 

I could go on at great length as to why this was so, but opportunity and safety was high on the list. We felt that there was little opportunity likely to present to them in their future, and little safety at schools and on the streets.

 

We arrived at an opportune time when property prices were low, with only $18000 and no personal possessions other than our clothes. We rented at first and Bridget, my wife, was in work within 48hrs and enrolled at Uni (Grad dip health promotion) within 2 weeks. I stayed at home and looked after the kids. We have managed on one wage since our arrival, and we have built a very large 4 bedroomed home with large pool and study that cost us $320000 4 yrs ago............no mortgage. We have 2 vehicles and a boat. Could we have managed that in the UK? What would that kind of money get us in the UK?

 

To address some of what has been said in this thread.

 

Someone mentioned that they found it expensive here. Property prices are cheaper and more for your money. 5litres of cask claret $13. T Bone $9 kilo. Rump $6. Rates, electricity, petrol, all half or less than what we paid in the UK. Shop wisely and the bargains are there. Clothes?.................hardly need any here in brizzy:biggrin:

 

Aussie culture "in your face".................yes, it is, but when in Rome? Australia is a young country with little history and although some see this as a lacking, it can also be a benefit in that they are more likely to 'move with the times'. I love the backyard barbie culture and don't miss the UK pub scene at all. Having been a relief pub manager for a number of years, I'm glad to see the back of folk refusing to empty their glasses at closing time and keeping you from your bed............nowadays I drink only with those who invite me to their place, or those that I invite to mine............I've only visited a pub once since being here.

 

Friendliness.............some appear to have found the Aussies unfriendly? Nothing could be further from the truth here in Brizzy in my experience. aussie "mateship" is legendary and is not a myth, although there are exceptions to the rule, just as there are anywhere.

 

Class............non existent. The doctors worship the nurses, unlike the UK where they looked down their bloody noses at them. Bridget had completed 6 courses in her first year here to enable here to perform duties that a UK (class) system would consider as being the role of a doctor.

 

Kids and respect. Both my kids are in private school at a total cost for both, of less than $8000 a year. Jake (16) is autistic and attends a school that takes 25% disabled kids and only has 240 students. Having worked with kids for over 15yrs in the UK and then comparing how the aussie kids at Jakes school look after each other is nothing short of amazing and humbling. I rarely saw that kind of commitment to one's fellow man in the UK compared to my experiences here. Anzac Day and the Dawn Service................chocka block with kids every year (and growing), showing their respect for those who sacrificed. The only kids I ever saw at a cenotaph in the UK were the Sea and Marine cadets that I marched there or the ones in Blackpool lying around the cenotaph at night, getting rat-faced.

 

I truly feel sorry for those who feel that OZ has nothing to offer them any more, and who knows? I might feel the same way one day. I've never had to live with the flies that so many complain of and the nearest we've come to being drought affected is a watering ban and 4 minute showers. Perhaps some of those who have bad experiences are suffering from a "local" experience whereby it's their location within Oz that is the problem and not Oz itself.

 

I do miss the UK..............I miss the mountains, the lakes, the season changes, but I honestly have to say, that I don't miss the people (as a whole) {society} at all.

 

When we first got here we were invited to a barbie by someone who had migrated from the UK 2 yrs previously. There was over 60 people at that barbie and everyone was a Pom...........that isn't how multi-culturism or "assimilation" works. Many come here for the wrong reason. They think a change of location will change their fortunes or their personal relationships. They never think that the problem lies with them and/or their expectations being unrealistic. I'm not inferring that that is the case with all who are disappointed and want to return to the UK and I don't for a minute think that things aren't getting harder here, but you'll only get out what you put in. Forget the saying that it's the "lucky country" .....................the old timers who coined that phrase worked their balls off and luck had nothing to do with it.

 

In conclusion, all I would say to anyone considering going back, and I can understand the older ones wanting to do that.............if you have young kids...........do you really think that the UK is the best place to raise them?

 

kev

[Guest jackie Macdonald]

Sorry Jackie, but apart from being off the original topic, this post is the biggest load of twaddle I've read for a long time. Talk about generalising and making assumptions.

 

I've been here since 1990, absolutely love it and never once thought of going back. I am also very fortunate that my husband feels exactly the same. I "found" and joined this site last October 2008, whilst researching sponsorship visas for a family member, how de-facto relationship impact on applications, etc, etc.

 

This site has been an invaluable source of information, especially when so many changes have been made to the process in the last 5 months. It is also addictive when you are the kind of person who likes to help others and I can only hope that some of my posts have been helpful - particularly on the Pomsinadelaide side.

 

Kazza

 

 

Look, Sorry girls for making such assumptions, I was feeling rather upset and put on after the backlashing I received yesterday on my other post. It made me wonder why some were so defensive thats all.

 

Shake hands!

jackie x

[Siblin!]

Sorry it didn't work out for you Mark & Sharon............. best of luck at the other end back home.

 

If it isn't for you; then it isn't for you and that's it........... at least you have given it a go although many will say that 5 months is neither here nor there ............ you should have maybe stayed a bit longer? We were in exactly the same situation as you about 19 years ago.......... except we hated it here after only 3 months and were itching to go back home. I'd been here for 13 years when single and absolutely loved it; but when I returned to Perth with a young family in tow it was a different story.

 

This topic has been ongoing for several years; here's my reply to the same question from a couple of years ago............... everything is basically the same as it was then only the lads are now 2 years older :-

 

It isn't all beer and skittles over here.........but hey; it isn't too bad either. At the end of the day it all really boils down to what you yourself make of it. If you aren't afraid of hard work.......... the sky is the limit. You should find countless opportunities to better yourself downunder.

 

At the moment the weather in Perth can at best be described as poxy; but that will change once summer kicks in ........... and then no doubt we will all be whingeing that it is too hot ? :twitcy:

 

It's a fantastic place to bring our kids up, schools are good...... sporting facilities are good.......... the weather encourages lots of outdoor activity.

 

It hasn't always been a bed of roses; in fact we endured severe hardship along our journey. We arrived during the great recession that we had to have........... and there wasn't any work about. Rather than throw in the towel and return to the UK which we often thought about doing............... we persevered and put up with the hardship.

 

Being out of work long term meant our savings soon dwindled........... and some days a spare dollar to buy a morning newspaper was out of the question......... that's how bad it was for us in the early days :wacko:

 

Anyway; we just plodded on regardless hoping there was light at the end of the tunnel ..... and eventually our perseverance paid off as there was light at the end of the tunnel.

 

All 3 boys have completed their schooling and have gone on to bigger and better things. We were fortunate to get them in a school NOR that runs a mining course. Our eldest son at 22 is currently a trainee manager up the mines. Middle son lives in Kalgoorlie and completes his mining degree in December......... and starts a post graduate position with BHP in January. Our baby at 19 is halfway through a TAFE Diploma which will stand him in good stead for an off-shore job on the rigs.

 

We used to live on a very run-down council estate in the north west of England, during which time we never had two halfpennies to rub together. We now own outright property worth roughly in excess of $2.0 million. We have 5 cars and I drive a Jag. I don't work for anyone else as I own my own real estate company.

 

Could i have achieved the same living in the UK?........... my answer is a resounding NO! In that respect living in Oz far outweighs the option of us living in the UK............ but it shouldn't be about materialistic things............. the whole lifestyle in general is far much better downunder!!!

 

I hope you do realise your dream and get to live downunder........... and i hope everything goes in your favour? It will all boil down to you and what you make of your new adopted country.

 

Good luck __________________

 

I think this is such a brilliant story ..............well done guys, and the two half- pennies bit , i think there's alot of people who can relate to that and that is what keeps them here . Such a great story !

[Guest guest22466]

Is it really that hard to realise that when some people come to live in Australia they love it and will make it home and for others it just is not for them regardless of their reasons. If your going to put a post up ...I came to oz and it didnt work out because ....and then not expect the truth then why ask? So praise the people for giving it a go and then go back home. Let's say great stuff to the ones who love it and to the ones who are here and dont want to be here due to issues beyond their control .......uuum not sure what to say but live in limbo and try to enjoy it as best you can. I think its great that everyone talks about their situations on here. In life we all learn something from everyone in this life , both good and bad. So why not let people voice how they feel even if it is negative, life is not all about flowers and roses , beaches and sun , its also about people and how they feel and live THEIR lives. This site is about being honest about poms in oz wether it be good or bad. It did not work out for me as my marriage brokedown after 18mths of living here and I was unable to return home with my son to my house in the UK , family and friends. The Ex wanted to live here and as we have a son together , my son now has to live in Australia. I have full custody of our son too so this is where I live too. For me to tell my story is also to advise parents this is what can happen. Im not trying to put parents off but to inform them of the laws and what can happen. Do I want to put people off coming to Australia ....no I do not but I do want people to be aware of the Hague Convention Laws with reagards to your children and where they will live.

[Siblin!]

Before i came out i have to admit , i used to think Quoll was an old woman who constantly moaned , and she just wanted to fill my head with her negative thought, but now i am here it's very different , i actually agree with most things she says in fact.

I need this site just as much if not more than i did back home in the UK . I think it has grown alot over the years and as a fledgling it was here to start your journey with you , wish you luck into the unknown , now a lot of people are into cyber space and have made their journey to Oz , it has grown and spread it's wings . It now offers support to all it's children , in the good times and the bad times and i for one am very grateful . I have met some lovely people and being given some great advice and long may it continue.:hug:

[Guest fatpom]

Before i came out i have to admit , i used to think Quoll was an old woman who constantly moaned , and she just wanted to fill my head with her negative thought, but now i am here it's very different , i actually agree with most things she says in fact.

I need this site just as much if not more than i did back home in the UK . I think it has grown alot over the years and as a fledgling it was here to start your journey with you , wish you luck into the unknown , now a lot of people are into cyber space and have made their journey to Oz , it has grown and spread it's wings . It now offers support to all it's children , in the good times and the bad times and i for one am very grateful . I have met some lovely people and being given some great advice and long may it continue.:hug:

 

:biglaugh:

Hows that for a back handed compliment Quoll????

[Guest boomerangpommie]

OK I'll bite

 

I studied here (not impressed with the quality after Uni London but you cant have everything) ... - wasnt really impressed with the standard of education then and I saw what was on offer close up so we struggled to send them to private school. One son had a good time as a swimmer and the other enjoyed his rowing. Both went to uni here but both were less than impressed by the lack of rigor and the group assessments etc.

 

I don't for a second doubt you, as you are speaking from first hand experience. But I think maybe things have changed here in the UK, since you last lived here. I am an English teacher and have worked in a number of schools during my career and I have noted many, many times that many of the younger English teachers in my departments don't read for pleasure, have never read any of the Classics or the obvious greats or keep up with new, up-and-coming authors and can't have a spontaneous dicscussion about books - they can only talk about the ones they teach on the syllabus and they've read a study guide for. I'm only in my 30s.

 

When I was at uni , I was shocked by the ignorance and general lack of interest and curiosity of many of my peers and it seems that many people were just chasing that piece of paper and just stuck to what they needed to do/know, not learning for the sake of it - I always thought there was more to 'being educated'. It's the same in schools now, everything is target-driven and about ticking boxes and making sure the kids jump through the hoops properly...I've tried to expose my children to as many interesting and 'educational' experiences as I can and the odd time, my daughter has piped up in lessons to share something additional she knows about the topic, the teachers have often just wanted to quickly move her on and get back to the prescribed learning (they've probably only read the study guide and are scared of straying into unchartered waters...)

 

I did a brief spell of casual teaching in a school in Sydney (private, granted) and all of the teachers in the Eng Dept knew their stuff inside out and loved it - some even knew about a whole second subject! I did even feel a little intimidated myself at times - they belonged to societies and went to fiction writing workshops and things like that. They had all been to the UK (and Ireland) and visited all the literary 'hotspots' and just seemed more like how I remember teachers being when I was at school. Just a snapshot observation.....

 

BTW that school asked me to apply for a perm job they were advertising but I wanted to wait to see what happened with my approval and work in a state school - I need to log off now and go and give myself my daily kicking....:arghh::arghh:

[Guest bowbrum03]

Actually this thread was started by a "pro-Aus" (for want of a better word, sorry Johatts) poster who invited people to share their stories of why things hadn't worked out for them, along with a another thread of why people were happy, this is why it was in "Chewing the fat". To provide a balanced view to as many people as possible I presume as not everyone ventures into the MBTTUK forum.

 

The thread title was quite clear so you could have easily have ignored it if you wanted to and IMO the posts have not been particularly anti Aus, just that some people prefer the UK. The thread didn't need to be moved because some people can't handle that others have a different opinion.

 

As for people who don't like it here wanting their feelings validated, how is that different from any of the pro Aus threads that are on here?

 

The problem is there are certain people on here that cant bear the thought of anyone slaging Aus off, or the problems it may have .

[Guest bowbrum03]

Sadly, comments like that just confirm what others have noticed on this board - that as soon as someone is construed as a naysayer they are jumped on from a great height with a negative slant being dumped on anything they have to say.

 

And it is always the same people.

[Guest Scamp1976]

You should make a new post for all these people called "I moved back to the UK because I thought OZ didn't work, but I'm back in Oz now because UK really sucks"

[Guest guest30038]

Can I just add that I am not taking sides in the arguments raised in this thread and wanted no parts of any arguments, I just think that sometimes the posts that can be seen by some as negative always get a bit of a bashing. This thread is a good idea as it gives those who regret their descision the place to give their reasons why.

 

If my original reply to this thread upset the thread starter or anyone else I apologise.

 

Terry

 

And it is always the same people.

 

I haven't been here long enough to "weigh up" individuals, but even if I had, netiquette rules, and indeed, common courtesy, dictates that you play the ball and not the player.

 

We all have our axe to grind, our own opinions, and our own attitudes based on our experience. Just because someone always sharpens that axe or voices their opinions, shouldn't mean that they invite personal attack, even when names are not named.

 

At the risk of sounding like a school m'arm................confront their debate, not them.................please................it'll make for a better forum and judgements not clouded by perceptions of personalities. We are here to help those who wish to come to Oz, or to leave...................not remind others of how petty and judgemental human beings can be.

 

kev

[Guest Hearne_Family]

I haven't been here long enough to "weigh up" individuals, but even if I had, netiquette rules, and indeed, common courtesy, dictates that you play the ball and not the player.

 

We all have our axe to grind, our own opinions, and our own attitudes based on our experience. Just because someone always sharpens that axe or voices their opinions, shouldn't mean that they invite personal attack, even when names are not named.

 

At the risk of sounding like a school m'arm................confront their debate, not them.................please................it'll make for a better forum and judgements not clouded by perceptions of personalities. We are here to help those who wish to come to Oz, or to leave...................not remind others of how petty and judgemental human beings can be.

 

kev

 

Hey Kev,

 

I dont want to keep posting here sounding petty but at no point did I turn my post into a personal attack on anyone, I, as you put it confronted a debate and put across my personal opinion that people who post that Aus hasnt worked for them sometimes get negative posts back from those of us who love it. I have since apologised to the original poster and anyone else I may have upset. Please re read my original post and try to see that I was just agreeing on a point and not attacking anyone.

 

 

Terry

[Guest guest30038]

Hey Kev,

 

I dont want to keep posting here sounding petty but at no point did I turn my post into a personal attack on anyone, I, as you put it confronted a debate and put across my personal opinion that people who post that Aus hasnt worked for them sometimes get negative posts back from those of us who love it. I have since apologised to the original poster and anyone else I may have upset. Please re read my original post and try to see that I was just agreeing on a point and not attacking anyone.

 

 

Terry

 

Terry,

 

Sorry if my manner of quoting has you thinking that I was directing the response at you............I was not, as your explanation and apology was clearly well intended.

 

It was the following response to yours that seemed to have the potential for taking the thread in the wrong direction, that is, towards pointing out individuals as in:

 

"And it is always the same people."

 

If past experience on forums is anything to go by, the above sentence clearly has the potential to at the least, cast aspersions, and at the most, lead to individual attacks on persons.

 

Trust this clears things up. :smile:

 

kev

[Guest guest22466]

This is a great post as long as it stays factual and not personal. I came to oz and it didnt work because.......Is as good as a post I came to oz and it DID work because...........to see both sides of migration I can only see as a good thing nor positive or negative. Everyone has different experiences in life and so everyone will have different opinions. There is no right or wrong just differences in people and life experiences. In my situation I benefit from both positive and negative posts but in the same breath know how I feel and want I want.

[Guest Tim]

All - I have tidied up this thread to keep iton track.

 

As a complete side track - a few months ago the apparent perception was that PiO was anti-Australia and now its a 180 u-turn. One thing I can say is its a 'balanced approach' hence a number of forums for such topics including the returning to the uk section etc.

 

On occassion we're damned if we do and damned if we don't do something - such is the position we find ourselves in being the mods.

 

Still good to see the robust and infomative discussion is continuing in the true PiO spirit.

 

Tim

[Guest John Locke]

I would like to get this thread back on track if I may...

 

In 2001 my wife, who is Australian, asked me how I would feel about living in Australia. Our eldest was 4 at the time and she wanted to let him experience her side of the world and start a large family. I was unsure at first, we talked a lot, I asked her a lot of questions, we looked into real estate. We discovered that we would be fortunate enough, through the sale of our house, to be able to buy a home outright and have change...I was sold. I had had my own problems with family and this contributed a lot...my leaving for Australia was a big 'screw you!'...silly I know, but it can get a bit silly sometimes when family are involved...Australia was still somewhat of a mythical beast to me...a faraway land where nothing bad seemed to happen...at least you never heard anything bad...Although my wife said it didn`t have to be forever, I secretly said goodbye to England, burned all my bridges, and armed with Bill Bryson`s Down Under sold the house and set off...I look back on that time now and realize I never considered that I maybe wouldn`t like life here, after all my wife was Australian and I certainly liked her and her talk of sand and beaches of big houses 'got me' added to the fact that being married would make residency extremely easy (it was all too easy, I think now!)...anyway, by 2002 we were here, we bought a lovely five bedroom house with a backyard that was bigger than our London home, cars, and it was such a breath of fresh air from London life...I didn`t suffer terribly from homesickness as such (I had my occasional moan, I missed London quite a bit)...Then we sort of settled into life...more children, a dog (Another reason added to moving, as it was not convenient to have one in the U.K and I had alway wanted one), then another dog...but...the whole time for me was overshadowed by a feeling...I wasn`t sure what it was...homesickness?...I didn`t think so, but it was something I had not felt before, and it was displacement. I felt no sense of belonging here, no connection, it was as if I was existing day to day in a bubble looking out at life passing me by...I would curse myself, remind myself of what Australia had to offer us, try and push through it for the sake of my children...but you can`t push through something like that...eventually living in an enviroment I felt I had no place in takes it`s toll, and it did, impacting hugely on my psyche and on the stability of our family...I was out of the enviroment that made me...me...and had become someone completely different. I guess I`m just one of many creatures that cannot adapt outside its own enviroment, which is unfortunate because I liked my children being here, it`s all they`ve known, I`m quite happy with their schooling and I told myself that any self respecting father would sacrifice his happiness for the sake of the children and I have, for seven long years until now I`m just so tied of trying to make it work...what some people should understand that living somewhere where you are very unhappy can lead to resentment, trivial things take on great importance until you develop a dislike that can border very easily on hate...England isn`t the best of places, by far, I don`t look upon England with tinted specs, I grew up in the Eastend so I have more tham a little experience of how things can be...my wife is all for returning, in fact her and my eldest are buzzing...I have my fears and doubts, like I say, I`ve grown up there, but our life before we moved here wasn`t awful, in fact it was pretty good...so, we are going back, this time with four children and two dogs in tow and hopefully, with hard work and I`m sure a bit of a struggle we will rekindle that life, show our childrem my side of the world and expose them to further experiences...like I said, it`s unfortunate that things didn`t work out...it`s unfortunate that the U.K is in the midst of so many of its own problems...but the bottom line for me is that it is home. Australia never will be.

What I would say to all those making the journey, aside from good luck, is...keep doors open, don`t burn your bridges like I did...I thought this was forever but you cannot predict future feelings or what couses your life may take...

JL

[Guest guest30038]

Thanks John, for telling it like it is for you. I feel the very same "displacement' but have come to realise with time, that I will likely always feel that way due to being raised in care and having no uncles, aunties or the like. When i get to feeling that way, I know the problem lies with me and not with Oz.

 

I often feel that I would love to try Canada or NZ as I love mountain scenery, but my emphasis has always been on the wife and kids, and they love it here and I wouldn't ask them to move................and I would probably feel "displaced' there also.

 

Your post was enlightening, touching, and with a "human" feel that can sometimes be lacking in cyber space. Thanks mate, and all the best.

 

kev

[Bobcat]

Thanks John, for telling it like it is for you. I feel the very same "displacement' but have come to realise with time, that I will likely always feel that way due to being raised in care and having no uncles, aunties or the like. When i get to feeling that way, I know the problem lies with me and not with Oz.

 

I often feel that I would love to try Canada or NZ as I love mountain scenery, but my emphasis has always been on the wife and kids, and they love it here and I wouldn't ask them to move................and I would probably feel "displaced' there also.

 

Your post was enlightening, touching, and with a "human" feel that can sometimes be lacking in cyber space. Thanks mate, and all the best.

 

kev

 

To all those coming out here........... it can be pretty hard to adapt when you first arrive. Things are........... aaahhhh......kinda different down under. To those on their way back 'home'............ good luck. To those about to venture over here for the first time......... be prepared as Baden used to say. Here's a little story I told a couple of years ago :

 

I'm going to tell you a story

No.............. it's not Max Bygraves

 

 

This really happened to us and it was very hard to settle into our new lifestyle and get used to what to us; was indeed a weird culture when we first arrived down-under as a family. If nothing else I hope it encourages some of you to give it a go down here ..... ......... and not pack it all in and run back 'home'.

 

ONCE UPON A TIME.................

 

We arrived here with a 1, 3, and a 4 year old and my wife could hardly speak a word of English............ and it was crap cos all the mums at kindy were up themselves............ and i couldn't get a job............ and we bought a crap house in a crap area cos we didn't know any different............. and when it rained the roof leaked and we got flooded out........... and the insurance company wouldn't replace the damaged carpets ............and they just sent a bloke round with a big jetlike looking space age gas heater thingy........ and we had to dry the carpets out......... and then sprinkle some nice smelly eucalyptus oil they gave us.......... and then through the insurance company we found we had bought an 'ouse with an illegal extension built onto it........ and we didn't know no different cos we're thick up north apparently........... and that news about the illegal extension gave us a giant headache ............ and then we bought a work van which unbeknownst to us was a rust bucket masked by a paint job........ and tons of filler putty.........and anyway I didn't really need a work van cos i couldn't find a job..........and it was really really horrible......... and we really really hated it............. and before too long all our savings were dwindling............and i started going to church but that didn't seem to make any difference............ and i had to go sign on at Centrelink down Mirrabooka way........... and that was just like being in downtown Saigon down there... ............. and the people at Centrelink were really horrible and nasty........ ..... and cruel too............ and i thought i was just as sick as a Peruvian parrot cos i couldn't get a job........... and the doctors said i was depressed... .......... and the pills they gave me just made me more and more depressed ....... and we got invited round to the neighbour's house for a barby.......... and they said bring a plate........... and we did........... and they all laughed at us..... .... and we didn't know why they were laughing........... but a few days later we found out we were supposed to put something on the plate........ but no-one had ever told us that......... and they gave me a stubbie holder........ and then they gave me a bottle of beer...........and like you do i poured the beer into the stubbie holder........... and that's not cos I'm thick from up north........ that's because i didn't know any different......... and in the stubbie holder there's apparently two likkle holes which allow condensation to drip out......... and the beer wet my shorts......... and that was really hilarious and they all laughed at us again ......... and they took the mickey out of the way we pronounced our words........... and it was really really horrible.......... and we really really hated it more and more............. but we were broke by now so there was nowt we could do about it............ and things got worse cos i couldn't say book properly........... because I'm not posh ................and the Aussies were going to looook for a boooook........... and i didn't know what they meant......... cos we're thick up north........... and then i realised they were taking the mickey ........... and i didn't think that was right........... and it seemed like we were being ridiculed all the time......... and it just got too much to bear.......... and we really wanted to go back to England........... and apparently our newfound Aussie acquaintances wanted us to go back to England too......cos we were really pommie bastards.......... and apparently we smell a lot.......... cos we only bath once a week in England......... and when a real big bloke told me this .... ..... i was dumbfounded.......... and he started pushing me around........ and prodding me......... so I hit him ....... and we had what they call a blue! ............ and I'm only likkle.......... and i can normally take a fair bit of stick.. ....... but enough's enough.......... and i started to stick up for meself....... and i gave this bully a good hiding........ and they didn't know how such a likkle bloke like me could do that to such a big bloke........... and i never told them.................... and they all become really friendly to us........ and from then on...... it got much much better because seemingly we had earned their respect ............. and it got really really good ........... and then we decided it was okay........ and the Aussies really liked us now.... ...... and they let their kids play wiv ours.........and now it's really really good........... and we love it over here....... and the Aussies love us too.......... and we don't go to see those idiots at Centrelink anymore....... and i learned to swear in Vietnamese ....... and our bank manager really really loves us....... cos we give him heaps of money to look after for us....... and he talks to us like bank managers used to do in the olden days.. ......... and the kids found good schools ............ and they did really really well........... and we did really really well cos I got a good job ..........and we built a big new house ......... and we didn't have a mortgage......... and that's really good.........and our overseas visitors thought we'd won lotto........and we hadn't......... but having a good job made us feel like we'd won Lotto..........and that felt really good cos it made me realise it is possible to escape from life on a dreary run-down council house in the wet and cold north west of England....... so that too is really really good.......... and then we bought anudder house......... and then anudder one too....... and then a Jag......... and 4 udder cars as well............so I think we've ........ well we've sort of cracked it.......... but it hasn't always been easy.......... but we have each other.......... and that's very good.........so after a lot of initial hardship... .. ..... and a great deal of heartache .... ....... we learned to endure same......... and we learned to cope......... and we're glad we did ........... and we have no regrets about coming here.......... none whatsoever........... and we hope you will be able to stick it out too......... and we hope that in the long run you'll be able to tell more or less the same story too?

 

.........................THE END ............ for now.