I came to Oz and it didnt work because......................

[Guest JoanneHattersley]

For those immigrants whose journey didnt work out the way they wanted!

 

Tell your story...............

[Quoll]

OK I'll bite

 

Come Thursday I will have been here 30 years + 2 months. At first it was great, brilliant, wonderful, exciting, the weather was fantastic, the people were friendly, the shopping was fine, it was a huge adventure, a nice long holiday. I studied here (not impressed with the quality after Uni London but you cant have everything) and got a job which kept me occupied for a good 25 years until I quit because it became a toxic cesspool. I had loads of friends over the years but they were itinerant and we all moved on as our lives moved on either literally or metaphorically. I've travelled widely - missed the north of WA but not too sad about that really. My kids grew up here - wasnt really impressed with the standard of education then and I saw what was on offer close up so we struggled to send them to private school. One son had a good time as a swimmer and the other enjoyed his rowing. Both went to uni here but both were less than impressed by the lack of rigor and the group assessments etc. One son bought a one way ticket to UK part way through uni but didnt like it and came back 7 months later and now lives a self sufficient life in the bush with his family. The other son went to UK for a gap year - 7 years ago and hasnt come back because he has had a great career opportunity and is loving his life there. He likes the buzz whereas the other was more reclusive.

 

About 20 years in, I realized that this place doesnt offer me anything that I want any more - the holiday is over and I want to go home. I have never felt Australian and never will - if it came to a choice between my UK passport and my Aussie one I'd be tossing the blue one. I am bored by the bush (used to be an enthusiastic bushwalker!) - not helped by the drought which has had us in its grip for the past 7 years. I am sick and tired of the wildlife - screeching cockies that wake you up every morning at some ungodly hour, ants that invade the kitchen and bathroom, cockroaches that come in on the wood, flies, flies and more darned flies along with their cousins the mozzies.

 

Canberra is a nice enough place to live - not the big city nastiness that Sydney has but big enough to be a city rather than an insular little country town but it does nothing for me - the oldest building here would be about 1830 and that's a one off - I like a bit of history, nothing like a thousand or more years of human endeavour staring you in the face on most street corners. In order to get somewhere else of note I have to drive for hours or fly for hours there isnt much variation in a short distance. It's boring and bland.

 

We didnt come here for a "dream life" we came because DH got a job offer which was too good to refuse so we didnt. After that we took the easy options and just drifted along into a sort of half life limbo, I always expected I would be able to escape but I cant (DH is an Aussie, say no more!) and that lack of choice makes this place quite unbearable. Sure I am surprised it has turned out this way - if you had asked me 30 years ago what I would feel about it I am sure it wouldnt have been nearly as "negative" as I do feel, it would even have been glowing probably, just like many newly arrived migrants today. However now this is not the place I want to grow old in. It has absolutely nothing I want or need - except a granddaughter but we dont see them too much anyway so holidays would be OK. When I go home every year I feel alive again and not trapped in some bland boring time warp with people who dont understand me or care about me in the least. I want a place with a good community feel to it, with people who "get" my sense of humour. I have my sanity hit and then getting back on the plane to return to the DH (he rarely comes with me) I feel like my heart is breaking and every year is worse than the one before.

 

Why didnt it work? I have no idea. I loved the idea of Australia, I loved the thought of the adventure (we had already lived in PNG - now that was an adventure), I loved the good weather and the thrill of living somewhere "abroad". But I never ever got the feeling that I belonged here, that this was "my" place. There was something always slightly alien about it which made me feel just slightly uncomfortable but which, while I thought I had a choice, I could live with.

 

Australia is a nice place for a holiday. I am sure it will be just great for many migrants but there are many more than you would think who would go home if they could.

[Guest beverley]

oh your post has made me feel abit sad for you!

 

im guessing that your wife wants to stay in oz, otherwise you both would have moved back to uk a few years ago? Hope you can come to some sort of compromise.

[Quoll]

oh your post has made me feel abit sad for you!

 

im guessing that your wife wants to stay in oz, otherwise you both would have moved back to uk a few years ago? Hope you can come to some sort of compromise.

 

Nah you dont need to feel sorry for me. I'm the wife and my DH is an Aussie who wont move to UK because he is "home" and if he moved back there HE wouldnt like it so one of us is going to be unhappy.

 

We do have a sort of compromise - his dream is to move into the bush and be self sufficient:arghh: whereas a flush loo and broadband are non negotiable in my life plan so we stay in the suburbs.:twitcy:

[Guest beverley]

ha ha dont know why i read it like that! i suppose its normally the woman who gets her way lol and i dont know what DH stands for (oh god its going to be so obvious!) actually thinking about it abit more could it be darling husband??!! well glad your ok anyway at least you have your broadband and flushing loo, can sleep well tonight now lol

[Guest marriedtoanaussie]

Ok My Aussie husband and my 3 young children and me are returning to Uk for the following reasons:

 

1. The distance combined with time difference makes it nearly impossible to maintain my strong relationships(and my childrens relationships) with our close UK family. Email/skype the odd visit (if able to afford it) is just not good enough for us. This is forever remember.

2. On balance, in my opinion, we do not have a better quality of life over here in Oz. Beaches,swimming pools, bbq lifestyle do not make up for trips to Europe, spending time with family, walks in the woods, small village fetes, snow, cold christmas,country pubs etc...I was hoping that teh children would do more sport at school here in Oz but that doesnt seem to be the case.

3. Financially, we were better off in UK. Our mortgage is a tracker so at the moment we pay next to nothing (we have rented out our house) food and clothes are cheaper in UK and we benefitted from Childrens Tax credit with 3 children. We have looked at houses over here and the 4 bed plus pool dream home we would really struggle to pay for.

4. We had more work opportunities in UK and extended family to help with children. My aussie husband is really struggling for work over here-even with contacts that he grew up with. We dont live on the coast we are 3 stops from Brisbane CBD!

5. Weather-well we were never going to enjoy the hot summers. My husband is very aware that children should stay out of the harsh sun so I feel its easier to put on a coat,scarf etc and head to the park than constant suncream, hats and worrying about melanomas!

That said, I have had a good mole check over here-one thing the Aussies do very well!

 

Its a personal choice and everyone is different. We have visited Bisbane every two years and I love my husbands Country. I needed to be sure I was not short changing our (half Aussie) kids by living in UK...and now I am sure. Home mid july-cant wait, neither can my family.

[Guest TinRibs]

Thanks for your post Quoll, your post was informative and I think many people should read it and take note, Oz is not the promise land many beleive it to be.....

[Guest Working to fish]

For those immigrants whose journey didnt work out the way they wanted,down under.

 

 

eddie

[Guest ElizaBee]

Hi all, am quite a new member here, and have been more of a "reader" and haven't really posted much.

Must say that i have found that reading about everyones personal opinions and experiences have really helped me.

The positive and negative experiences.

We have lived in Australia nearly 12 years all in all, and have had a very positive experience here. I love Australia, its a very beautiful place to live. But nowhere is perfect, and if i were moving here from overseas i would very much appreciate hearing residents personal, informed opinions of where they live. Especially the bad stuff as you cant read that in guide books!!!

Not so much of a shock when you get here, you were forewarned, and maybe think, hey this isn't so bad, and helps you make informed choices.

Anyway, we came here for a bit of an adventure and a new life and new life experiences, and a better life for our children. I really wanted to live in a different country.

Everything has worked out well, we are hard workers and have very strong family values.

But, for the past few years, we have become increasingly homesick. Isn't that weird because for the first five years, we really were quite settled.

I so miss our families and the culture, countryside and the general buzz of Engand. Sort of feel as though we are living in limbo land. Like living a half life. I know that is probably all our fault, not blaming Oz in any way!! But we really dont like fishing and arenot really sporty (Hubby loves soccer). Have been to all the parks etc and beaches and the isolation gets to you after a while.

Have been feeling very isolated, and lonely i guess. My youngest has been ill recently and that has been an awful experience. Just want to be able to see my family regularly. I know we made the choice to leave them, but i guess things change as we mature and your priorities change. Letters/emails/ phonecalls aren't enough.

We are seriously considering moving back to England. It is now or never for us.

My eldest is completing school this year and wants to go to Uni next year and my son is in year7, so cant leave it much longer to move as it would be too disruptive.

There is no time for extended holidays etc.

My kids would love to move back to England to spend time with their Grandparents and other family, but am really concerned about the things i have been reading about the UK. We really want to do whats best for the kids - thats our number one priority.

Big dilemma and thanks to this site, I've realised that we arenot alone (sadly).

Anyway, thanks for the informative posts, especially you Quoll.

Must say i appreciate reading why people are leaving the UK - havenot noticed anyone getting offended when people comment on negative aspects of living in Britain.

If i have offended anyone by my personal experience, i am sorry, but have been typing this with a 2 1/2 year old running around!:wub:

[Guest Three Lions]

I'm not sure I'd say it hasn't worked for me as such.

 

I'd say that I'm not loving it quite enough to feel 100% happy here.

 

I think one of the major issues for me is simply missing things about the UK more than I expected to. Family and friends being part of that, but a lot of it is simply really missing the way things are done in the UK, silly little things like the way the shops tend to be and the football.

 

There's quite a lot about the way things are done in Australia that I really don't like that much.

 

I think also the feeling that I can't just up and leave whenever I feel like it (wife is Aussie) makes me feel quite trapped which adds to the negative feelings towards the place.

 

I do fear going to live in the UK again one day (if ever I can) and finding that I really miss Australia! There are actually a few things that I really do like about Australia so I have quite mixed feelings.

 

I miss England more than I thought I would so why not miss Australia if I go back there?!

Naturally of course I grew up in the UK so things have a deeper meaning and familiarity when you've known them all your life.

[Guest Three Lions]

Sadly, comments like that just confirm what others have noticed on this board - that as soon as someone is construed as a naysayer they are jumped on from a great height with a negative slant being dumped on anything they have to say.

 

Well I certainly know how that feels, Quoll, as I'm sure you would agree!!!!! It DOES happen but I very much doubt anyone is ever going to admit to it!

[Guest Three Lions]

Thats not what this thread was for...people to "bite"

 

There are two threads running for people to tell their stories so that potential immigrants get a fair and balanced view of life in Oz,

 

Give a balanced view of life in Oz.................but make sure no one says anything bad about the place.

 

Sorry...but it does feel to many of us who have tried to voice criticisms of Australia that we are guaranteed to receive a plethora of put-downs seemingly designed to belittle what we have said and devalue it. Everyone then jumps on this bandwagon and before long you are being labelled a 'troll', essentially because you have not towed the 'party-line', so to speak.

 

Yes, I know those who dislike Aus sometimes have a bit of a go at those that do, but the way the ''this is God's country'' folk attack the posters who have complaints about life in Australia is always that little bit more viscious and personal. They do it with a real smugness and they know that, all being well, they'll annoy the individual concerned enough to get them to fall foul of the moderators.

[Guest Three Lions]

The fact of the matter is this...

 

If you are totally happy here in Australia, and would never entertain the notion of returning to the UK, such is your joy at being down under, then good for you.

 

That does not mean, however, that someone who is not happy here has nothing valid or helpful or useful to say. The implication always seems to be ''this website is to help people moving to Australia, so let's keep it positive''.

 

Huh?! Why shouldn't someone potentially moving to Australia hear the downsides of the place. Why does it have to be nothing but ''yeah, go for it, you'll love it here!'' That's not balanced.

 

And why does someone have to have really big reasons for missing the UK? Why can't it be that they miss the shops or the sport or the TV? Why do people have to be so dismissive?

[Guest Three Lions]

I think there's a lot of people out there who are quite determined to think Australia is wonderful. A lot of these people are still in the UK. Someone says something negative on here about Australia, a ''Godzoner'' (Quoll's term, I believe) then says that the naysayer is a bit of a wally and a 'troll' - to the delight of all those in Aus that love it and all those still in the UK who have pinned all their aspirations and hopes on life down under. Common myth has it that Australia is so much cheaper etc than the UK (based on what it was like 20-40 years ago) and so anyone who has fallen for all the urban legends spun by the UK media that ''bad things only happen in the UK'' believes that only Australia can save them now. They don't want to hear anyone bagging it and so are in full support when a Godzoner says, ''nah, don't listen to them, they're an idiot, it's perfect here''.

 

Some people seem to forget also that their move to Aus occurred many years ago when there genuinely was a big price difference in things like housing. THAT IS NO LONGER THE CASE, which is probably at least partly why some recent migrants (last few years) don't feel as passionate about Australia being wonderful as some older migrants might do.

 

Also, people forget that one of the main reasons for moving to Australia in the first place was ''hubby got offered an excellent job here''. So naturally life is better here for you...you have a better job here than you did in the UK! But that's not the country, that's your job!! People seem to confuse the two!

 

As I've said elsewhere, I live here on the same income as I had in the UK. There's very little difference in what I can afford. Also, in the time I've been here, I've had one friend back in the UK been mugged. But guess what?! My brother-in-law here in Australia got mugged at knife point in Melbourne 2 years ago. But according to some, you can't go out in the UK without being mugged whereas it NEVER happens at all in Australia. So much of all this is fantasy and media propaganda.

[Siblin!]

I am sitting on the fence , well i'm falling off a little ...

 

I'm enjoying the change of seasons now and exploring the environment a bit more ....i think we will go and live in the hills....but all in all , i think you know when your happy here if you can envisage yourself in 10 yrs time and see where you are , i can't see myself here. Like others have said i enjoyed being in my environment in the UK and here in Perth you can get very isolated from the world and quite frankly bored of the place. There's no jet setting to europe or hiking in the lakes. I get a real buzz out of discovery and adventure and Perth just doesn't do it for me .

[Guest Three Lions]

I am sitting on the fence , well i'm falling off a little ...

 

I'm enjoying the change of seasons now and exploring the environment a bit more ....i think we will go and live in the hills....but all in all , i think you know when your happy here if you can envisage yourself in 10 yrs time and see where you are , i can't see myself here. Like others have said i enjoyed being in my environment in the UK and here in Perth you can get very isolated from the world and quite frankly bored of the place. There's no jet setting to europe or hiking in the lakes. I get a real buzz out of discovery and adventure and Perth just doesn't do it for me .

 

I think the ''life in an Australian city leaves me feeling a bit bored'' thing is actually quite common. It's something a lot of Brits over here feel on the quiet. Everything is kind of quite nice, and there's nothing bad enough to make you just pack-up and leave tomorrow, but somehow, somewhere deep inside, you're finding it all a bit bland and characterless. I bet lots of people can relate to this. If they're honest.

[Siblin!]

I think the ''life in an Australian city leaves me feeling a bit bored'' thing is actually quite common. It's something a lot of Brits over here feel on the quiet. Everything is kind of quite nice, and there's nothing bad enough to make you just pack-up and leave tomorrow, but somehow, somewhere deep inside, you're finding it all a bit bland and characterless. I bet lots of people can relate to this. If they're honest.

 

Yes, it's like your going out for a sunny picnic , but the foods a real let down.

A Yorkshire pudding without the beef or gravy .

A pork pie , without HP or mushy peas ....i could go on ........i think you get my drift :biggrin:

[Guest Hearne_Family]

I have read the posts in this thread with great interest, I am saddened by Quoll's post, I dont feel sorry for you Quoll but I just love it here so much at the moment that I hope the dream doesnt turn sour for us, its funny you would think that after 30 years things would have been settled and there would be no regrets!

 

I think its a shame that people on here who have not found Australia to be thier dream are beaten down for expressing their opinions, I have posted on here saying how well we are getting on here in Oz and Im thanked left right and centre, people who have posted the opposite are thrashed. Both posts are totally valid and very informative, people who are loving Australia dont want to hear anything bad about it. People who are still in the UK dont want to hear these posts too because it might give them second thoughts or they are worried that the people who have told them not to move away might be proven right. The fact of the matter is that some love Oz and some dont, reading both sides of the story gives a balanced look of how things work, things might turn bad for me here (I really hope they dont) and its good to read about others experience, to know your not alone in not loving where you live will make you feel better.

 

I encourage people who have not yet made the move to read these posts and make an informed descision, I also encourage those who are not loving Oz to keep on posting...I will be posting more about how much I love it here its only fair for others to have a right to reply.

[Guest Guruju]

I started this thread in good faith for all those where the journey to Oz has NOT worked!

 

I wonder why I bothered!

 

Jo you bothered because, despite what a minority think, the Mods on this forum are balanced in acknowledging there are two sides to every story (sometimes three sides because lets face it, life is often complicated). So don't be disheartened, you set up two clear, distinctive threads, one for those for whom it didn't work out, and one for those for whom it did. All we need now are for people to keep on track, in the correct thread, and not derail it with their own personal agenda because they feel an overwhelming need to be vindicated on their views about this forum and the people who contribute.

 

Keep up the good work.:hug:

 

On a secondary note, some wonder why those of us happy in Australia read/contribute to the "Moving back to UK" forum. I have to say that, personally, I am not trying to contribute deliberately to that forum but when I log in I just hit the "new posts" and don't registered which forum the post is from.

 

Cheers

 

Julia

[Guest jackie Macdonald]

OK I'll bite

 

Come Thursday I will have been here 30 years + 2 months. At first it was great, brilliant, wonderful, exciting, the weather was fantastic, the people were friendly, the shopping was fine, it was a huge adventure, a nice long holiday. I studied here (not impressed with the quality after Uni London but you cant have everything) and got a job which kept me occupied for a good 25 years until I quit because it became a toxic cesspool. I had loads of friends over the years but they were itinerant and we all moved on as our lives moved on either literally or metaphorically. I've travelled widely - missed the north of WA but not too sad about that really. My kids grew up here - wasnt really impressed with the standard of education then and I saw what was on offer close up so we struggled to send them to private school. One son had a good time as a swimmer and the other enjoyed his rowing. Both went to uni here but both were less than impressed by the lack of rigor and the group assessments etc. One son bought a one way ticket to UK part way through uni but didnt like it and came back 7 months later and now lives a self sufficient life in the bush with his family. The other son went to UK for a gap year - 7 years ago and hasnt come back because he has had a great career opportunity and is loving his life there. He likes the buzz whereas the other was more reclusive.

 

About 20 years in, I realized that this place doesnt offer me anything that I want any more - the holiday is over and I want to go home. I have never felt Australian and never will - if it came to a choice between my UK passport and my Aussie one I'd be tossing the blue one. I am bored by the bush (used to be an enthusiastic bushwalker!) - not helped by the drought which has had us in its grip for the past 7 years. I am sick and tired of the wildlife - screeching cockies that wake you up every morning at some ungodly hour, ants that invade the kitchen and bathroom, cockroaches that come in on the wood, flies, flies and more darned flies along with their cousins the mozzies.

 

Canberra is a nice enough place to live - not the big city nastiness that Sydney has but big enough to be a city rather than an insular little country town but it does nothing for me - the oldest building here would be about 1830 and that's a one off - I like a bit of history, nothing like a thousand or more years of human endeavour staring you in the face on most street corners. In order to get somewhere else of note I have to drive for hours or fly for hours there isnt much variation in a short distance. It's boring and bland.

 

We didnt come here for a "dream life" we came because DH got a job offer which was too good to refuse so we didnt. After that we took the easy options and just drifted along into a sort of half life limbo, I always expected I would be able to escape but I cant (DH is an Aussie, say no more!) and that lack of choice makes this place quite unbearable. Sure I am surprised it has turned out this way - if you had asked me 30 years ago what I would feel about it I am sure it wouldnt have been nearly as "negative" as I do feel, it would even have been glowing probably, just like many newly arrived migrants today. However now this is not the place I want to grow old in. It has absolutely nothing I want or need - except a granddaughter but we dont see them too much anyway so holidays would be OK. When I go home every year I feel alive again and not trapped in some bland boring time warp with people who dont understand me or care about me in the least. I want a place with a good community feel to it, with people who "get" my sense of humour. I have my sanity hit and then getting back on the plane to return to the DH (he rarely comes with me) I feel like my heart is breaking and every year is worse than the one before.

 

Why didnt it work? I have no idea. I loved the idea of Australia, I loved the thought of the adventure (we had already lived in PNG - now that was an adventure), I loved the good weather and the thrill of living somewhere "abroad". But I never ever got the feeling that I belonged here, that this was "my" place. There was something always slightly alien about it which made me feel just slightly uncomfortable but which, while I thought I had a choice, I could live with.

 

Australia is a nice place for a holiday. I am sure it will be just great for many migrants but there are many more than you would think who would go home if they could.

 

 

 

Oh Quoll, I so feel for you... I had just decided that we should give it a go as hubby was so adamant we should and then lol and behold, hubby sat me down and poured out his real thoughts about the whole thing. He had decided that after reviewing the long term implications and the fact that he has lived with a very unhappy wife for the past 3 months, he has weighed it all up and decided he isn't too keen on staying after all and that he is more than happy to go home!! Im shocked!!

 

You and your DH need to sit down and really talk... I know he is comfortable here and happy to stay here and you are wonderful in that you are willing to sacrifice your happiness for his!....but what about you! I find it so sad reading your posts. Do you not deserve to be happy too! You already have one son in the UK and one here, so the balance is equal you could stay or go!

 

Life is too short to be unhappy!

 

:hug:

 

Jackie xx

[Guest LondonGal]

Ok I'm finally biting too!! :biglaugh:

 

I too am in the camp of initially settling and liking it here but now wanting to go home

When we arrived 9 years ago our family was in a completely different stage and the laidback lifestyle of Perth suited us. After some initial wobbles we worked hard and made a decent life here. The point is though you have to keep working at it and I don’t ever remember having to work at it so hard in England.

 

Quoll is correct when she says many people here are itinerant. I have had many friends over the years (still do..not quite a billy no mates yet ;-) ) but have found people tend to move more frequently (we have too) and don’t have the same ties to an area that we might have had back home. Others have gone back to the UK, or have just moved on with their lives. I find this makes forming lasting meaningful friendships difficult. I am bit over the weekly back yard BBQ now which is the main form of socialising here. Going out is expensive in Perth especially with older children, I am over paying $35 dollars for a meal and $9 dollars for a glass of wine. I am over the hot weather, the in your face “Aussie” mentality, the flies!!! the fact that the population of Perth is so scared of change. Others love it for that same fact!!

 

There are good points about this place, but not enough to keep me here forever. Once you get past the sun, beach etc, I have found that there really is not much under the surface here that interests me. We never left England because we hated it, we wanted to experience living in another country and we had the opportunity to do it. My only regret is letting life take over and staying here too long.

 

I am not Australian (well only on paper) and I never will be, I don’t want to be and I don’t want my children to be. The sun, beaches and BBQ’s are OK for a while but fundamentally I am English and would prefer to be in England.

[Guest jackie Macdonald]

I can't help thinking that, if one is ultimately very happy and content here and has no doubts on their choice to live here in Australia they would cease to participate in the forum. It is those with doubts and uncertainty that chose to continue and be kept informed on others thoughts and feelings at least to justify their own!

 

Just an inkling!!

 

jxx

[Guest guest17301]

I can't help thinking that, if one is ultimately very happy and content here and has no doubts on their choice to live here in Australia they would cease to participate in the forum. It is those with doubts and uncertainty that chose to continue and be kept informed on others thoughts and feelings at least to justify their own!

 

Just an inkling!!

 

jxx

 

 

Sorry Jackie, have to disagree.....I love, love, love Perth, also love the friendship/support/entertainment I get from PIO...I would be lost without it!

[Guest belfastchild]

hi all,

my family and i are trying to move to oz and hopfuly will do within months. husband has a job to go to with aprox same wage as here. we are aware there is crime, expence maybe the same if not more, we will miss the people we love so i hope we are well prepared for what lies ahead. we know its going to be really difficult and i hope this helps us in our adventure.

we feel we need somthing different, slower pace for us and our children.

where we live is liverpool in an area where we get no peace. dont want my children growing up with fear anymore.

my husband and i get along with plp quite well and i am not afraid to be the first to ask for freindship.

 

what do you think, can it work with these expectations?

[ali]

Sorry Jackie, have to disagree.....I love, love, love Perth, also love the friendship/support/entertainment I get from PIO...I would be lost without it!

 

Jackie, I have to agree with Fiona, PIO isn't unique in that some members after making the move to Aus continue to post on forums .... I can think of several. Personally, I'm happy here in aus, it's not eutopia by any means and there are good and bad bits - but we take the bad bits as they come and get on with it. I continue to contribute to PIO because I like it, I've been able to help people a little (Quarentine must think I import animals the times my address has been used lol), it can also be really entertaining at times.