Regret returning to the UK?

[Guest boomerangpommie]

good post but for my half pennies worth I think you might be a ping-ponger and after a few months back in Oz might want to come back....Good luck if you go back....

 

 

Thanks for your balanced post but I'd really like to think that won't be the case and I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that particular scenario - we couldn't afford it and I can't keep dragging my kids across the world every 6 months. Have you experienced something similar? I can see from some of your posts that you were once in Oz but are now back here and seem very content with that, which is great if it suits you. I was happy when I first got back but I just realise now that all the people and places I missed and thought I could not live without were mostly romanticised and after even just a few weeks of being back in the UK, I could see that. I realise now I could eventually live without them and develop new meaningful relationships and attachments. I'm under no illusion that I won't wobble again and that it won't be hard but I don't think I gave Australia a fair go or gave it long enough. Alot of people say the first two years are hard and then it gets better until they're at the point where they are glad to get back to Oz after a holiday in the UK.

[Guest Back Home]

This is a long thread, so be warned!!!

 

I returned to the UK last year after moving to Sydney with my husband and 2 children in 2007 – I only lasted 7 months. One of my problems was that I could not get a job as my UK teaching qualification was not recognised by the NSW Education Department (despite being used to get the PR visa!!). The only way to fix this was to go back to uni and do more study. My husband quickly got a job but I earn more and my wages were really needed. We had also put our son into kindergarten as soon as a place came up and kept him there as I got some supply work in a private school and we thought that I would soon be working properly… This meant that we were still using our savings despite a wage coming in. I had a couple of great interviews with some private schools, but no job.

 

Another issue was that my husband has a sister and her family there as well as some aunts, uncles and cousins and their families. I had met them all on previous visits to Oz and when they came here and they are all nice enough, but they have their own lives and families to think about and we never really became a part of that. I missed my family and I really felt a complete lack of support networks while I was there, it was like all the scaffolding of my life had fallen away. I felt isolated, alone and literally like I was on another planet, away from everything I knew. Also my 11 year old daughter (not my husband’s daughter) got terribly homesick and unfortunately, the first lot of friends she made were particularly unpleasant girls who made her life hell. As my husband felt that things were coming together nicely with his job, family, beautiful suburb, lifestyle we were living etc, he just stuck his head in the sand and got extremely annoyed if my daughter or I got upset or expressed any sentiments about going home or regretting being in Australia, he felt we weren’t doing enough to make ourselves settle

 

To cut a really long story short, it was when my sister-in-law (who interfered a lot, she sponsored us, so kind of acted like she owned us) suggested I seek professional help because I felt down, that I realised maybe I was in the wrong place and should come home. It ended up with me and the children coming back and my husband refusing to. I had quite a nasty, lecturing email from my sister-in-law, who knew about 5% of the facts and the whole of my husband’s family now think I returned to the UK because my daughter didn’t like Australia.

 

Anyway, when I first got back here, I was so relieved and happy and quickly got a job and a house to rent. My husband and I had a few shaky months but he eventually decided to join us back in the UK four months after we had first left Oz. He has a job here now and we are still trying to work out what went wrong between us and the whole emigration thing. My daughter is now in the same school as before we went to Oz with the same friends and sees her aunt and uncle and nanny now (she doesn't seem to view my husband's family as her own) and our son is in the same nursery as before.

 

But it isn’t the same. I realise that I actually probably could live with seeing my family once or twice a year. I hardly ever see my friends. It’s cold and dark and expensive. The people here look miserable and poor, the streets look dirty and poor. Maybe I couldn’t see it before, maybe it got worse while I was away. When I first got back I couldn’t even get any Income Support until I got a job as I was told I was not a habitual resident of this country!

 

I really miss Australia and I regret coming back. Obviously my husband really does not want to be here. I work in a school where half the kids come from homes on benefits and have no intention of working themselves and have no respect for themselves (I have a couple of Year 10 and 11 mums-to-be in my classes) or anyone else ( I frequently get told to f**k off) and just despair at where it will all end.

 

We are talking about going back and I am doing an OU course to get my qualifications sorted out and think that if I can get a job when we go back, at least I'll be out of the house and busy and I will meet people and start forming a network. I could also do some hobbies or something and my son will be starting primary school soon, so I can make friends with other moms. I think I did kind of think that my husband's family would go out of their way for us and realise now, I could have done more for myself.

 

Has anyone else experienced this kind of dilemma? Gone back and it's worked out? If we do go back, I'd be more scared than before because so much is riding on it this time. I don't think my husband would allow me to take my son out of the country again if I couldn't settle. Also my daughter really doesn't want to go back and it causes a lot of stress if we talk about it - she says she'll come back to the UK as soon as she's 18 - I couldn't bear that - but I'm sure in the long run she'd be okay. My family are hot and cold all the time, sometimes saying I'd be mad to go back after everything that's happened at other times saying get the hell out of here while you can.

 

Who would have thought that trying to get 'A New Life Down Under' could be so traumatic? :wacko:

No I will never regret moving home. I lived in Sydney and as my Husband is Australian it was difficult as Australia is his home. However, bless him, he knew how homesick I was and agreed to move to the UK for 2 years - that was 12 years ago. We've been back to OZ three times, the last time 4 years ago,and he wouldn't return. The traffic jams, the unfriendly people in Sydney got to him. He realised how I felt. I only lived in Sydney so can only comment about that City - but no I'm very happy. I also went through hell with his family, during the time their we lost our baby at birth and his family were very unsupportive. The humid summers were hard too. UK is not perfect but I would never want to live anywhere else. Good Luck

[Guest treesea]

I think its important to realise that just because you live in Australia it doesn`t mean you will get a better life than the UK

 

I think the reverse is also true. Just because you come back to the UK, it doesn't mean overall your life will be as good as it was in Australia.

 

To those who have come back but worry they have made the wrong decision, I suggest you go back to why you wanted to come back, and whether, having come back, those things you came back for are there. For me, I was a away a long time, for decades, due to emigrating with my parents. But I always knew that one day I would be back. And all the things I came back for, my land beneath my feet, feeling native to the country, my extended family, my family's names on the gravestones, going back hundreds of years, - they are all here. I wouldn't change coming back for quids. I just wish I hadn't let myself be persuaded to wait so long.

[Guest lee winspear]

i just wish we had never satrted the whole thing, its totally ruined sll of our lives,i thought we were the strongest couple obviously wrong, hubbby loves it we dont me n 9yr old n 15, we are going baak sat, i reckon hubby ll b e bak in a month, think hes only coming bak to make me feel better. he got work stright away but the i decided to go bak to uk for a while n he partied drank, everything worked 4 days in four months, admittedly stopped work to stay with me in the begining as i was going off my rocker, bit no reason y he couldnt have gone bak. im fuly prepared for him to come bak its me n the kids that cum first.

[Quoll]

i just wish we had never satrted the whole thing, its totally ruined sll of our lives,i thought we were the strongest couple obviously wrong, hubbby loves it we dont me n 9yr old n 15, we are going baak sat, i reckon hubby ll b e bak in a month, think hes only coming bak to make me feel better. he got work stright away but the i decided to go bak to uk for a while n he partied drank, everything worked 4 days in four months, admittedly stopped work to stay with me in the begining as i was going off my rocker, bit no reason y he couldnt have gone bak. im fuly prepared for him to come bak its me n the kids that cum first.

 

All the best for your move back, I hope that you can settle back into your better life back home. Hope the DH comes to his senses and sees what he is missing with his family enjoying life.

[Guest bobbins]

I am doing the ping ponging very quickly. Moved to OZ 1 Oct- felt bereft, and though it was beautiful and I could see all the benefits - I felt there was something missing. I went from 9 stone to 7 and was very very unhappy. It felt like a hollow, heaviness in me. Therefore I came back with kids and hubby following a week later, 6 weeks ago. As time is moving on, I am quickly realising that what I missed more than anything, was the english countryside where I lived. Friends and family have been disappointing. I always have invested heavily in creating a good friend base for us, because my family arent great. Since being here this short time, I realise that they moved on quickly, and there have been bone of contentions with some of them.

 

Basically, because my OHs job requires it. I saw a counsellor person when I got back. I thought I was going just to play the game and tick the box, and to justify to myself why I came back. What she said wasnt enlightening, as I already knew it - but it did help to bring some clarity in fetching it to the forefront of my mind insead of the jumble that was there.

 

It was bascially that, emigrating is like a bereavement and that takes some time to work out, and no matter how great or comfortable my life was beforehand (and it was) it will never be the same, and cannot possibly go backwards. This is because people change, I have changed and will look at things differently, I will be always comparing and feeling that something is missing. I have experienced all of these, and eventhough my Oh has been very unsupportive of me as he explains it as winning the lottery, then being asked for the money back, I feel that a move back would be best for us all as a family. I am sure that I would not be as bad this time around and will try to find the positives or answers to any negatives to what I am sure I will feel.

 

So, if you are off to Melbourne, we could always holds hands! We are returning in about a months time, as I dont want the children to get too settled back here and create more stress. Good luck with your decisions, it truly isnt easy I know.

[Guest boomerangpommie]

Thank you for your post, bobbins, you have verbalised exactly what I am going through and we are definitely going to try and get back this year, before Christmas - but to Sydney again - we'll have to hold cyber hands!!!. I really romanticised 'home' and all of the people and places that are here when I was in Australia and I suppose that what I've done by making us all come back is test out if all that I was grieving for and pining for was real or not and as it turns out, it wasn't real - it was a process I should have gone through but didn't give myself time - it's been a really expensive and traumatic way of finding that out though!!! I don't know how your OH is, but mine gets really wound up because he can't believe the situation - I wanted us all back here and now I'm desperate to get the hell out of here. I don't admit this to be anyyone who knows me but I am kicking myself!!! It was this time last year that I started thinking I wanted to return, I wish I had just weathered that storm and by now I'd probably have got a job, my daughter would have had a full year at school and would be settled and I'd be looking back at a blip. Maybe I should go for counselling!!! :arghh:

[lezo]

hi bobbins god you could have been me ....exact emotions, closer to friends than my family. not one reason why my heart felt so heavy the last time in melbourne just that it was....dont know for what though, if you read my post on this thread from the other day you,ll get a better picture of us, going back to melbourne in next 8 weeks after being there in 04. we do actually have family and friends in melbourne that we now miss very very much. they been over last few yeasr to us and we miss them and i talk to oz few times a week. we wont ahve the cash this time to ping pong but all my oz mates said i had to come back to appreciate, some do and i was one of them, stay in touch would be good lesley liverpool although i,m scottish my oh from here ha x

[Guest barab]

Well hand on heart,I can say that I've been to Oz(Brisbore) for two years and now been back in the UK (Scotland) for about 12 weeks, and my life has just been turned upside down...for the better of course,I only miss They beef pies and the coffee and that's it,I don't even miss them that bad.

Over here in Scotland it has been great being back with family and friends,my life has been so busy since we returned,and seeing my daughter playing with all of her cousins that she never really knew she had brings a tear to my eye.It is just so much vibrant over here.

Oz was a good experience but in my opinion,you will never beat Britain for a great lifestyle with loads of diversity!:wink:

[Guest kevin747]

I would be interested to know where those who ping pong back to Aus live in the UK?

[Guest KAS]

I know exactly how you feel,we lived in Oz five years ago and after i year we came back to the UK and I regretted it,so here we are again back in NSW and I don't know if I have done the right thing,I miss everything about home but I keep thinking it's the best move for my children who are 4 and 10,obviously they are settling in but still miss their friends and it breaks my heart.I to miss my friends and family but I think maybe getting a job will help.When the weather is nice here I keep thinking do I really want to go back to cold,wet England.My husband would be furious if we went back again as he loves everything about Ozzie life but men are different they can live any where whereas women like their friends and familarity. I'll give it until Christmas and then make my mind up which makes me feel better.Dep down we will probably stay.

[Rodfan]

I am doing the ping ponging very quickly. Moved to OZ 1 Oct- felt bereft, and though it was beautiful and I could see all the benefits - I felt there was something missing. I went from 9 stone to 7 and was very very unhappy. It felt like a hollow, heaviness in me. Therefore I came back with kids and hubby following a week later, 6 weeks ago. As time is moving on, I am quickly realising that what I missed more than anything, was the english countryside where I lived. Friends and family have been disappointing. I always have invested heavily in creating a good friend base for us, because my family arent great. Since being here this short time, I realise that they moved on quickly, and there have been bone of contentions with some of them.

 

Basically, because my OHs job requires it. I saw a counsellor person when I got back. I thought I was going just to play the game and tick the box, and to justify to myself why I came back. What she said wasnt enlightening, as I already knew it - but it did help to bring some clarity in fetching it to the forefront of my mind insead of the jumble that was there.

 

It was bascially that, emigrating is like a bereavement and that takes some time to work out, and no matter how great or comfortable my life was beforehand (and it was) it will never be the same, and cannot possibly go backwards. This is because people change, I have changed and will look at things differently, I will be always comparing and feeling that something is missing. I have experienced all of these, and eventhough my Oh has been very unsupportive of me as he explains it as winning the lottery, then being asked for the money back, I feel that a move back would be best for us all as a family. I am sure that I would not be as bad this time around and will try to find the positives or answers to any negatives to what I am sure I will feel.

 

So, if you are off to Melbourne, we could always holds hands! We are returning in about a months time, as I dont want the children to get too settled back here and create more stress. Good luck with your decisions, it truly isnt easy I know.

 

 

Hi, Bobbins and lezo too.

 

Having also pingponged, left Melbourne Dec 08 and returned in May this year (from bonnie Scotland) I missed my Family and Friends also, but husband and son now prefer OZ so here we are again. I dont feel as homesick as before, but still finding it hard to settle completely here.

 

Maybe we should have a bit of a ping-pong meet up when you arrive, and try and support each other! feel free to P.M. Me. if you fancy a coffee once you get back!:smile:

[Guest lovediving]

I am doing the ping ponging very quickly. Moved to OZ 1 Oct- felt bereft, and though it was beautiful and I could see all the benefits - I felt there was something missing. I went from 9 stone to 7 and was very very unhappy. It felt like a hollow, heaviness in me. Therefore I came back with kids and hubby following a week later, 6 weeks ago. As time is moving on, I am quickly realising that what I missed more than anything, was the english countryside where I lived. Friends and family have been disappointing. I always have invested heavily in creating a good friend base for us, because my family arent great. Since being here this short time, I realise that they moved on quickly, and there have been bone of contentions with some of them.

 

Basically, because my OHs job requires it. I saw a counsellor person when I got back. I thought I was going just to play the game and tick the box, and to justify to myself why I came back. What she said wasnt enlightening, as I already knew it - but it did help to bring some clarity in fetching it to the forefront of my mind insead of the jumble that was there.

 

It was bascially that, emigrating is like a bereavement and that takes some time to work out, and no matter how great or comfortable my life was beforehand (and it was) it will never be the same, and cannot possibly go backwards. This is because people change, I have changed and will look at things differently, I will be always comparing and feeling that something is missing. I have experienced all of these, and eventhough my Oh has been very unsupportive of me as he explains it as winning the lottery, then being asked for the money back, I feel that a move back would be best for us all as a family. I am sure that I would not be as bad this time around and will try to find the positives or answers to any negatives to what I am sure I will feel.

 

So, if you are off to Melbourne, we could always holds hands! We are returning in about a months time, as I dont want the children to get too settled back here and create more stress. Good luck with your decisions, it truly isnt easy I know.

 

This is not the first time that I have lived in Australia, I moved back to the UK after six months in 2005 and then returned in 2007 and am now returning back to the UK this year more than likely. It is extremely difficult for some people to adjust to living in Australia. Missing family, friends, way of life is many of the factors that have made it hard for me. I know exactly where you are coming from. My sister also did the same she moved here 3 times before she finally settled, each time shipping her furniture back to England and back again. The most important thing is the people around you and if you don't have them, no matter where you are, it would be hard to settle.

 

Good luck hope it works for you this time.

[Guest Perth Princess]

I can definitely see this happening to us. I love Australia but really miss home and go through periods of feeling desperately unsettled. However I think if we went back I would realise the reasons we left in the first place. I do feel that my kids have a better quality of life here, but then if I'm feeling so unhappy then that will affect them too. I'm planning to give it at least a year before we make any decisions as we've only done 3 months. I don't want to ping-pong too much as I don't think it's fair on the kids.

[Guest eartrumpet]

I can sympathize with all of you on this, although my story is the other way round. I am an aussie who moved to UK, met my (british) partner and lived there for 20 years. Much of the time I was content, and felt that I might end up living in the UK indefinitely, coming back here every couple of years to see family for wonderful summer holidays. However, in the last 5-10 years I bgan to feel that there was something missing, which was difficult to pinpoint.

 

I/we had lots of friends, my career was going well, I did miss the Aussie climate but kept telling myself that there is more to life than that and Europe had so much culture.. all those stereotypes.

When I started discussing the idea of us coming to live in Australia my partner was reluctant, as while we loved coming here on holidays he felt it would not be the same to live here. The problem was that this feeling was NOT GOING AWAY !!, in fact it only grew more intense to the point I was getting miserable and seeing fault with everything in the UK. This had a tremendous impact on our relationship, which at one point I felt might not last if there wasn't change, even though we had been together for 15 years.

 

In the end I made a trip here by myself as a holiday(it had been 3 years) as he couldn't afford it and I couldn't let it go another year before seeing my family. Well..that trip was a complete eye opener !!! I think I wanted to find consolation that I was following the right path, and that in the end I might have to let the relationship go. However, I just didn't have a very good time....I didn't have that many friends left here and I generally felt a bit isolated. This is when I decided that I couldn't leave him, and if he wouldn't move with me then I would stay in the UK. It was a very emotional but cathartic experience as I suddenly felt settled living in the UK again. Although I missed Australia terribly I was resigned to staying.

 

Then we came out on holiday in 2005, and he suddenly turned round and said that he didn't want to go back to the UK and that he could see us living here.

 

Well...!!! what do you know. It was almost like I had to let go of the idea emotionally before it would come to be. We decided that we would spend the next 2 years organising to emigrate and began the process of saving and eventually applying for an Interdependants visa for him. We have now been here exactly 12 months in Sydney and loving it, he says he never wants to return to live in UK and it's beautiful to see him so happy here in my home country. Everything has fallen into place remarkably well to the extent he says that he is sorry for putting me through all that anguish and we should have done it years ago.

 

In the end, I think it is about where you are born and an intractable desire to ultimately return to that place, which I think he may start to feel in years to come. As much as anything I think it is that sense of place and the tranquility of feeling 'Home'. It's the little things..like dialects or way of saying something, or type of reaction to something that is quintissemntially of that national character.

 

I doubt we will ever move back to UK..I have no desire to and he plainly doesn't, but I know first hand the heart ache that all this can cause. I think we are both the stronger for going through what we did, and we have now just celebrated 18 years together. I hope our story can illuminate for others.

[lezo]

hi rodfan and bobbins yeah a meet up would be good we hoping be back in april. are you still around mordiallic, i know that area very well. we are now realising we lucky to gat 2nd cahnce and i,m really hoping lightning wont strike twice!!!! wont move kids again either, they 3 girls 3 5 and 9 . will keep you posted when booked bye for now x

[Rodfan]

hi rodfan and bobbins yeah a meet up would be good we hoping be back in april. are you still around mordiallic, i know that area very well. we are now realising we lucky to gat 2nd cahnce and i,m really hoping lightning wont strike twice!!!! wont move kids again either, they 3 girls 3 5 and 9 . will keep you posted when booked bye for now x

 

Hi, Still in Mordialloc, so lots of good places to meet for a coffee. Good luck with the move back again! if you P.M. me once you get settled we will have a meet up.:jiggy:Best of Luck!

[Guest sk1nny]

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how best to ensures she settles in well and wants to stay!..

 

I would suggest that you have a holiday planned to the uk within 12 months of emigrating to Australia, may seem strange, but it works.

I did it.

Left Uk with my Australian husband to live in Perth, found the inlaw/outlaw thing unwelcoming & felt like I'd lost my life, my friends, my home, my career for nothing. BUT....BUT we travelled back to UK, within that first 12 months & all those things seemed to be put into perspective, my friends were still friends (who now visit me) my home was just a house I used to own, my home was back in AU, my family were supportive but didn't see that much of them (they now visit me in AU each year) & as for my career..well..travelling 2 +hours everyday into London by tube, in choking traffic, slogging away in the office for 10 hours & having my husband not see me for more than an hour a day seemed less attractive somehow. Yet that was my old life in UK.

 

I loved the holiday (all 5 months of it) and we were able to look forward again to returning to Perth.

 

Another 2 years went by & we did the trip again but just for a month this time & since then I haven't been back.

No reason other than, don't feel the need.

All my friends & family visit me & love to come to the exotic sub continent, my kids are in school & we travel regionally, regularly, have great friends here, good jobs & really love our life.

 

My advise to everyone reading this thread is plan a break to see what you're NOT missing..and to remember why you left..home is where the heart is..!!!

[lezo]

great i loved doyles the last time, my friends work at the mord sporting club or the kingston club as its called. cant book til my youngest gets her visa, on at them every other day so fingers crossed. ah well lifes certainly not dull is it, roller coeaster more like ha x

[JJ.]

I can empathise with a lot of these thoughts. My wife is from Sydney but was living in the UK with me for the first 4 years we were together (she left Sydney to go over there). But now we're here in Aus and finding it bloody hard for many reasons, even though I still love Sydney itself. I reckon most days I wish I could just go back, but if I did that now I wouldn't have given it a fair crack. We've decided to give it a year, and then we'll see how we feel.

[Guest t'n'g]

Hiya to all who want to meet up. Can I come!!!

We lived in Mornington for 6years but last april returned to uk with work. I have been having a great time kids are now settled in school and are about to return to oz end of March!!! so I know how you feel, allmy family are here so it will be hard its like leaving all over again with all the emotions attached. i should actually be sorting the house out now and handing in notice etc.. but instead i am burying my head in the sand hoping it will go away!! I miss Australia but i love it here . One thing i have noticed over here and I am talking about MY opinion (please dont shout at me for this!!!), is that there is more agression particulary in children. This i have only really just picked up because i think i was living in a bit of a bubble happy at seeing all my family and friends so that is a cause of concern for me. I have three children aged 11,9 and 4 and whilst i love this country it does concern me.

[MARYROSE02]

I lived in Sydney for eighteen years 78-96 then went back to England for twelve years. Now I've taken a career break and rented my home out in England and returned to Sydney to see how I settle in.

 

I'm lucky to be able to live with my brother and his wife as my Sydney home is also rented out.

 

I've been back for two months and do feel a bit unsettled. Where is 'home'? My brother did the right thing in a way as he came in 1979 and never went back.

 

I cannot face looking for another job especially when I have a decent one in England. I don't want to be the 'new boy' again at 55, nor do I want to do any crap jobs.

 

I have not got any family in Southampton now which is partly why I wanted to come back to OZ.

 

I'm practicing for retirement now living the life of a dole bludger except I don't get any dole. (damn those assets) Get up late, watch SBS World Movies (the best thing about Australia!) read the Herald, listen to 702 or 2GB, take the dogs for a walk. Remind myself of all the extra hours I put in in previous jobs.

 

I don't know which is the best place to live or the best weather. I said to the girl in the paper shop the other day 'it's 41 here and -1 in London and I don't know which is worse!' Probably about half way between as it's been in Sydney this week.

 

I guess there is really no right or wrong?

[Guest theundecided]

HELLO EVERYONE OUT THERE we are looking to settle in Cleveland "Brisbane " does anyone live there or know anything about living in that area please ?

 

thank you

 

matt

[Guest flowerofscotland]

What a great post, thanks so much for sharing it, I think everyone that lives here gets their homesick moments and it can be a very rocky journey, we have had a lot of friends over the years who have gone back and some who we know have came back again so your not alone. I definately think you should try somewhere different next time, do some research and think about what your really looking for, also what about getting your daughter to join the forum and speak to some kids her age who are here, might be good if she can make friends before you arrive, I have an 11 year old daughter so feel free to pm me if your daughter would like to chat.

 

Good luck with everything

 

Lisa

[Guest boomerangpommie]

Thanks, Lisa,

 

My daughter was briefly in contact with a girl on here and has joined herself but it's all been quite half-hearted to be honest.

 

I don't know if this is the right or wrong thing to do but what my OH and I have done is just say that the whole going back to Oz thing is on the back-burner now and we're just keeping it low-key now, we're not discussing it at all in front of the children now. We've done this for a couple of reasons, we haven't got enough money saved to return yet and although are thinking about January next year, don't have a def date in mind. My daughter has been so unsettled and daily was coming home from school and telling me all about what a great day she'd had with her friends, or how a teacher was saying she should take X subject for GCSE cos she's good at it (she's in Yr 8 at the mo) and she would just say to me that it all just made her sad because she knew it wasn't going to last or happen etc. So, we've decided that until we have a concrete plan and a date, we just want her to settle down and live for today and not constantly worry about us moving to Oz. We'll then sit her down and talk about it once we have something solid to say, does that make sense? I'll get her to contact people then - she's still in contact with kids she knew there anyway, even though she apparently hates them all!!!!

 

I'm off course worried now that she'll feel like we've let her down when the time comes but we've only said it's on the back-burner NOT we're def not going back. She's more settled now and occasionally does say, "If we go back to Australia....", so she does still know it's there.