JoT

[Commonwealthchic]

Hey guys! I’m new but not so new to living away from home! I moved to Australia 15 years ago for “a better lifestyle”! This I feel I have achieved, however, the homeland is calling! One main reason I moved was to have children in a different lifestyle to what I did. I grew up in a rough area & it is amazing that myself & some of my friends turned out the way we did. The area hasn’t changed in that time, in fact, it’s got worse. My children are very happy here, they live a phenomenal life in comparison to my childhood yet I feel that they are missing out on the heritage & family aspect of living in the Uk. I must admit, I feel the push to move back with our ageing parents. & far too many hours wasted watching ‘escape to the country’! We’ve been back to uk on visits quite a few times & although I loved it I couldn’t wait to leave! Why would I then want to move back? Not only do I ask myself this question but the biggest question I ask is where will my children attend school? Right now I don’t know that we can afford to live anywhere better than where we grew up - which rules out Eton I dread the thought of my very naive pre teens to be exposed to half of what I was at their age! I don’t wish to shelter them but rather protect them & ease them in more gently to the harsh reality that society can be as well as give them greater opportunities than I had. So tell me, does anyone have experiences like this? How do you find schooling after moving back with your children? I can imagine there are amazing schools and teachers but I guess it’s finding them! Pls, any pearls of wisdom for this caught in between 2 worlds lass would do

[VERYSTORMY]

All I can say is,, I grew up in a very rough town that still has a well deserved reputation - Middlesbrough. Today, since returning from Australia, I live in a picturesque country village, near a small market town that is considered "desirable" that has one of the best schools in the country. Housing though is about the same as Middlesbrough! We pay a little more than we could in order to live in the village a couple of miles from town in a charming little cottage because we like the piece and quiet. There are families in the village and we have a small primary school, though no shop or anything. Though we do have a village hall that does a range of things from monthly cinema to village parties. The kids, I would say have a very idyllic life. I hear them playing as I go to bed at the moment on the village green, because it is very safe. 

But, we do not live anywhere near where either me or my wife's families are. We are in Scotland. But, one of the advantages of the U.K. is being smaller, that isn't hard. For example, my wife's brother is in London. She can get a £30 flight in less than an hour. We have even done it as a day trip. I can drive to visit my family in Middlesbrough and drive back same day. 

[Tulip1]

6 hours ago, Commonwealthchic said:

Hey guys! I’m new but not so new to living away from home! I moved to Australia 15 years ago for “a better lifestyle”! This I feel I have achieved, however, the homeland is calling! One main reason I moved was to have children in a different lifestyle to what I did. I grew up in a rough area & it is amazing that myself & some of my friends turned out the way we did. The area hasn’t changed in that time, in fact, it’s got worse. My children are very happy here, they live a phenomenal life in comparison to my childhood yet I feel that they are missing out on the heritage & family aspect of living in the Uk. I must admit, I feel the push to move back with our ageing parents. & far too many hours wasted watching ‘escape to the country’! We’ve been back to uk on visits quite a few times & although I loved it I couldn’t wait to leave! Why would I then want to move back? Not only do I ask myself this question but the biggest question I ask is where will my children attend school? Right now I don’t know that we can afford to live anywhere better than where we grew up - which rules out Eton I dread the thought of my very naive pre teens to be exposed to half of what I was at their age! I don’t wish to shelter them but rather protect them & ease them in more gently to the harsh reality that society can be as well as give them greater opportunities than I had. So tell me, does anyone have experiences like this? How do you find schooling after moving back with your children? I can imagine there are amazing schools and teachers but I guess it’s finding them! Pls, any pearls of wisdom for this caught in between 2 worlds lass would do

The question has to be.... can you afford to live somewhere nicer than where you came from? (You’ve said unlikely) If not then I cannot see how to can chose to remove your kids from their ‘phenomenal’ life and put them into a unpleasant life. You say one of the main reasons you moved was to ensure your kids had a better childhood and that It is amazing that you and others turned out ok. You’ve also said it’s even worse now. Therefore you surely cannot even consider putting your kids into that environment. They won’t care about heritage and things like that, they are happy where they are. Kids do have to go where the parents go, that’s the way it is and I’ve never had a problem with that but if you chose to do it you need to be honest. If you return to a similar area to where you grew up you are doing it for you and definitely not for your kids. As verystormy says, there are so many lovely places to raise kids,  I think I too live in such a place and children being raised around here are lucky. If you do it chose wisely, good luck 

Edited July 11, 2019 by Tulip1

[Skani]

You haven't mentioned your children's other parent.  Is he (assuming a he) from the UK too and what is his attitude to a prospective move?  To live somewhere considerably better than where you grew up will depend on income....so what are the employment prospects like for both of you in a preferred area?

[Vickie78]

Research areas and schools like I am currently doing, you might be surprised at what you can/can't afford.   I grew up in Dorset, But I'm not going back there when there are so many places in Britain to choose from  

[rammygirl]

Also I assume you are all citizens if not sort that before you leave. 

[BacktoDemocracy]

On 11/07/2019 at 15:33, Commonwealthchic said:

Hey guys! I’m new but not so new to living away from home! I moved to Australia 15 years ago for “a better lifestyle”! This I feel I have achieved, however, the homeland is calling! One main reason I moved was to have children in a different lifestyle to what I did. I grew up in a rough area & it is amazing that myself & some of my friends turned out the way we did. The area hasn’t changed in that time, in fact, it’s got worse. My children are very happy here, they live a phenomenal life in comparison to my childhood yet I feel that they are missing out on the heritage & family aspect of living in the Uk. I must admit, I feel the push to move back with our ageing parents. & far too many hours wasted watching ‘escape to the country’! We’ve been back to uk on visits quite a few times & although I loved it I couldn’t wait to leave! Why would I then want to move back? Not only do I ask myself this question but the biggest question I ask is where will my children attend school? Right now I don’t know that we can afford to live anywhere better than where we grew up - which rules out Eton I dread the thought of my very naive pre teens to be exposed to half of what I was at their age! I don’t wish to shelter them but rather protect them & ease them in more gently to the harsh reality that society can be as well as give them greater opportunities than I had. So tell me, does anyone have experiences like this? How do you find schooling after moving back with your children? I can imagine there are amazing schools and teachers but I guess it’s finding them! Pls, any pearls of wisdom for this caught in between 2 worlds lass would do

Just read responses to a number of similar threads started in just the last 6 months, look at threads and posts in education in this section, the same questions and answers have been repeated.

The UK is in upheaval at the moment and has gone thro 7 or 8 years of austerity which is likely to continue, so just think carefully before you leap

[tea4too]

Work brought us to Wales. We live on the coast surrounded by fields and country walks with easy access to the local shops and cafes of the nearby town. I never tire of visits to the compact and picturesque city of Cardiff with its castle, Bute Park, Millenium stadium and Victorian arcades, not to mention the shopping centre, restaurants and bars.

We have learned a little of the language, sing the national anthem with enthusiasm and have raised a happy well adjusted child who, like her Aussie cousins, has done well at school and loves to body board… albeit in her case usually with a wet suit. But perhaps more importantly for us she has childhood memories of extended family at all the important milestones of life. It is much easier to maintain those close relationships when you live hundreds rather than thousands of miles away.

While I do understand why you might not want to return to where you were raised, one specific city or area cannot define a country. Culturally, economically and politically the UK is a very diverse place, but posters such as Very Stormy, LKC and others prove it is possible to have good life here, if that is what you want. T x