Will we get a warm welcome or the cold shoulder??

[EmmaGiggles85]

Hi, myself, my partner and 3 children are in the visa process to emigrate to Victoria. We have been told, and heard completely contrasting stories about how well we would settle in and be accepted there. So what is it actually like, for all you poms, how did you find it? And for the Ozzies on here, what are your thoughts when yet another pom possibly emigrating?

 

We have really good senses of himour and dont get offended with a good jibbing as we can give as good as we get [emoji12]. We are hard workers and a boistrous but very friendly family who love to socialise and meet new people.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read/reply to this xx

 

 

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[Toots]

You will receive varying replies to your query.  I have good friends I met after a few days when I arrived over 30 years ago.   Most of my closest friends here I met at work.  We have a lot in common and the friendships have lasted over 20 years and through quite a few moves to different areas of Australia.  I have met a lovely bunch of people since moving to Tasmania nearly 4 years ago and would consider them my friends.  I don't think you need to worry.  

[EmmaGiggles85]

Thats great to hear! Really glad you settled in so well, gives me hope that we will too [emoji5] were just a really laid back easy going family that loves a good laugh and to be surrounded by beautiful scenery! Fingers crossed the visas get accepted xx

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[Guest]

I've had no issues. Honestly, I decided to jump in, embrace the move and the new country and its challenges and its worked out well for me. Sure you meet a few people you'd rather not see again, so don't is my solution. Unless of course they are family and you have to see them at family get togethers now and again. More often its just a case of not really gelling with someone or really liking them rather than it being an awkward migrant v Aussie thing or them making me feel uncomfortable for moving to their country. 

Hubby is an Aussie and had not problem settling back in and finding his feet again. He was happy in the UK, is happy here. Probably more so as he can cycle more and play footy again. 

In terms of friendships, I've got a few good ones. Some are migrants, others Aussies. I don't really seek out other British people, prefer it to be more organic if I can manage it. 

I've tended to avoid soccer (as its known here) and embraced Aussie rules for the family. We all love Aussie rules!  I wasn't a soccer fan in the UK and defo have no interest in it here. Our son plays Aus rules (footy), cricket and other things over the year. I've found it easy to meet other parents (mostly Aussies, some migrants from South Africa, UK and elsewhere too though) and have built up a good kids friendship and mums network over the past few years thanks to that and getting on board at school and volunteering a bit. 

I also found it easier to simply move, stop looking and comparing to what I had left in the UK and to just focus on what was in front of me, not what was behind. Can't live in the past nor the future, only the present, so made the most of it. 4 years on, no complaints and very happy in our part of Aus

 

[Evandale]

We didnt go out of our way to make new friendships, my OH has a large family residing here in Tasmania  and Adelaide and  to be honest we both were very happy to be amongst the clan, but we have  also developed  a few  very  good friendships along the way both at work and here at home, it all came rather naturally rather than going out and seeking....

Having school aged children always helps as you will be mingling alongside other parents. Enjoy your journey to Australia!

[starlight7]

You won't have a problem I am sure. Most people with kids get involved with school type things and volunteering in one way or another plus you will have work mates - most are very welcoming to newcomers. Areas vary a bit round Melbourne- it depends what you are looking for and the sort of things you like.  Do your research!

[Quoll]

If you're a nice friendly person you'll probably get along just fine. If you're a knob then you'll probably cop some flak (I doubt that you're a knob, btw!). The fact that you're British is irrelevant - don't go around saying "I'm a Pom and back home we ......" and all will be well.

Personally, I found that I didn't make those really strong friendships that last forever (I only had 32 years in Aus) - like I still have in UK. I had plenty of acquaintances over the years but I struggle to think which one of them could I call at 3am if I needed help and since I've left there are only a couple that bother to keep in touch. The ones with any sort of longevity happened to be long term expats like myself - I didn't go out of my way to meet or get along with them, they were just the ones with a shared sense of humour and experience.  So, expect transience - based on things like workplace, child's development, itinerancy etc and you won't be disappointed. If you are lucky enough to get friends that stick and aren't just out to use you then you'll be doing well but it probably won't be the same as the friends you are leaving.

[EmmaGiggles85]

I've had no issues. Honestly, I decided to jump in, embrace the move and the new country and its challenges and its worked out well for me. Sure you meet a few people you'd rather not see again, so don't is my solution. Unless of course they are family and you have to see them at family get togethers now and again. More often its just a case of not really gelling with someone or really liking them rather than it being an awkward migrant v Aussie thing or them making me feel uncomfortable for moving to their country. 
Hubby is an Aussie and had not problem settling back in and finding his feet again. He was happy in the UK, is happy here. Probably more so as he can cycle more and play footy again. 

In terms of friendships, I've got a few good ones. Some are migrants, others Aussies. I don't really seek out other British people, prefer it to be more organic if I can manage it. 
I've tended to avoid soccer (as its known here) and embraced Aussie rules for the family. We all love Aussie rules!  I wasn't a soccer fan in the UK and defo have no interest in it here. Our son plays Aus rules (footy), cricket and other things over the year. I've found it easy to meet other parents (mostly Aussies, some migrants from South Africa, UK and elsewhere too though) and have built up a good kids friendship and mums network over the past few years thanks to that and getting on board at school and volunteering a bit. 
I also found it easier to simply move, stop looking and comparing to what I had left in the UK and to just focus on what was in front of me, not what was behind. Can't live in the past nor the future, only the present, so made the most of it. 4 years on, no complaints and very happy in our part of Aus [emoji4]

 

Thanks so much for your reply! Yes thats exactly how we have been thinking of being if, (hopefully when) we arrive. Just completely allowing ourselves to dive into the Aussie culture 150% because why else would we be making the move right?? Were choosing to leave the UK for a reason [emoji16] haha.
I too am not a fan of football/soccer although the OH is a huge fan of all sports, as our our three sons! The OH has been watching a lot of Aussie rules and loves it and we hope to get involved actively if we manage the move.
To be honest with you, i was hoping that i could get involved with school activities etc to be able to meet other mums, so kniwing that it works is a great! Thanks again for the feedback xx

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[EmmaGiggles85]

We didnt go out of our way to make new friendships, my OH has a large family residing here in Tasmania  and Adelaide and  to be honest we both were very happy to be amongst the clan, but we have  also developed  a few  very  good friendships along the way both at work and here at home, it all came rather naturally rather than going out and seeking....
Having school aged children always helps as you will be mingling alongside other parents. Enjoy your journey to Australia!

Thanks for the reply [emoji16] One thing that I'm definitely glad of, is having school aged children!
We won't kniw a soul in Aus, so its nice to know that friendships are not going to be based solely on where i am from. Thanks again xx

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[EmmaGiggles85]

You won't have a problem I am sure. Most people with kids get involved with school type things and volunteering in one way or another plus you will have work mates - most are very welcoming to newcomers. Areas vary a bit round Melbourne- it depends what you are looking for and the sort of things you like.  Do your research!

Hi, thanks for your respons. Research is most definitely something i do on a regular basis, i dont think you can ever do too much of it haha. Its nice to hear that most people are welcoming of newcomers! And i will also be actively seeking out ways to help out with school activities too.
We are looking at moving to an area near Geelong as opposed to right on the CBD's doorstep as i think it will suit our family a bit better.

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[EmmaGiggles85]

If you're a nice friendly person you'll probably get along just fine. If you're a knob then you'll probably cop some flak (I doubt that you're a knob, btw!). The fact that you're British is irrelevant - don't go around saying "I'm a Pom and back home we ......" and all will be well.
Personally, I found that I didn't make those really strong friendships that last forever (I only had 32 years in Aus) - like I still have in UK. I had plenty of acquaintances over the years but I struggle to think which one of them could I call at 3am if I needed help and since I've left there are only a couple that bother to keep in touch. The ones with any sort of longevity happened to be long term expats like myself - I didn't go out of my way to meet or get along with them, they were just the ones with a shared sense of humour and experience.  So, expect transience - based on things like workplace, child's development, itinerancy etc and you won't be disappointed. If you are lucky enough to get friends that stick and aren't just out to use you then you'll be doing well but it probably won't be the same as the friends you are leaving.

Haha thanks for your reply, i am a friendly person but probably a bit of a knob too [emoji23][emoji23] but yeah, i totally get what you mean and thats great!
I definitely will not be going around saying anything of the sort so that reassuring haha.
Thanks for giving me food for thought, we do have a few very good forever friends in the UK, and altho some are from 10/15 years ago, we have made a couple of friends that we can add to that category from our move to the other side of the uk a few years ago. So i will stay hopeful that we will find some good friends. I guess my biggest concern was whether we would fit in. Thanks again xx

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[Guest]

41 minutes ago, EmmaGiggles85 said:

I guess my biggest concern was whether we would fit in. Thanks again xx

 

 

 

No one can say with total certainty if you will 'fit in'. Its what you make it and how you choose to approach things that can ultimately form that 'fitting in' or finding yourselves on the settled side rather than unsettled. TBH I don't see its vital to fit in as there are plenty of people from all walks of life all over the world who could be said to not fit or fit their chosen surroundings. Don't pigeon hole it. Don't expect from it and don't have the bar set unrealistically high or have it built in your minds as it has to be one way over another. Be flexible and keep an open mind. 

You could move into a house with the worlds worst neighbours and it be a bit of a disaster in terms of area for you as a family (ie long commute to work, not the sort of school that suits your kids etc). You work through it, move and find somewhere that does work for you. Migrating is a bit hit and miss and can take a while to work out where you want to be and why. It took us a few months of living in a very popular city beach suburb to realise that while it was lovely for a short while, long term it really wasn't for us. The school we knew from day 1 it was only a short term thing till we found a school we thought much more of. 7 months after moving here we moved 20 minutes away, up into the hills, new school, lovely quiet area and not looked back or had one regret about giving up the beach suburb. 
 

In terms of people, its the same the world over. As we get older it does become harder to make or find those solid deep long lasting friendships that are often formed back in our teens or early 20's. TBH life changes, we move on through it and people come and go in and out of our lives. You cannot compare friendships formed back in your teens or early 20's to ones formed in your 30's or 40's. Our lives are probably so vastly different today than then, its never going to be the same. We are not the same people we were back then. We have more baggage, some of us are married or with partners, some have kids, careers, those things change us. Growing up and being an adult changes us and our priorities. I don't think we put forming friendships as a high priority as we grow older, we have other things to distract us. At least not those deep and meaningful friendships people talk about. Moving to Aus, you may find that you'll form no real deep friendships but it won't bother you too much, you may find you do strike up one or two. If you can be ok with friendships being perhaps a little more casual, at least for a while till you have had a chance to meet others and see how it goes, that should help. 
 

[Guest]

I think if you're as nice as you come across from your posts, you'll be absolutely fine! ?

[ScottieGirl]

Warm welcome or cold shoulder ? Neither. Aussies are used to migrants you won't  stand out unless you are way out in the sticks. In terms of the people it will be like moving to another part of the UK, most people will be friendly some will be hard work almost all of them will have their networks already established. Treat making friends the same as you would back home.

PS When you are invited to a party and asked to bring a plate that means bring some food. There isn't  a national crockery shortage?

Edited September 5, 2017 by ScottieGirl

[Peter the Pom]

On 05/09/2017 at 18:19, EmmaGiggles85 said:

 

Hi, thanks for your respons. Research is most definitely something i do on a regular basis, i dont think you can ever do too much of it haha. Its nice to hear that most people are welcoming of newcomers! And i will also be actively seeking out ways to help out with school activities too.
We are looking at moving to an area near Geelong as opposed to right on the CBD's doorstep as i think it will suit our family a bit better.

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Hi Emma, my partner and I moved from the UK to the Geelong region in October last year and it's a really good place to live. Most people are really helpful and friendly and there is always plenty of things going on. If you would like any help, advice or a tour guide just let us know and we will help in any way we can. 

[EmmaGiggles85]

Hi Emma, my partner and I moved from the UK to the Geelong region in October last year and it's a really good place to live. Most people are really helpful and friendly and there is always plenty of things going on. If you would like any help, advice or a tour guide just let us know and we will help in any way we can. 

Hi Peter, thats great to hear that peopke have been friendly and helpful [emoji4]

Can i ask, did you visit Geelong or Australia in general before moving there?? Did you struggle to find work? I will probably have mounds of questions haha. You will be sorry of the offer [emoji39]

Oh, and the offer of being our tour guide is so lovely! Thank you! My partner and i are hoping to visit around April time without the children, so pricing uo flights and accommodation etc in preparation!! So meeting uo for a tour would be fantastic if thats ok? [emoji4]

Thanks, Emma x

[themaccas]

I can really understand your fears, I felt exactly the same, 5 years ago I was coming to work in a managers position and I thought the local Aussies would hate that I, a new Pom, would be managing them. I couldn't have been made to feel more welcome! On my first day they were all excited to meet me and in my office was a bag of Aussie goodies (vegemite, lamingtons etc) and a welcome card that they had all signed. I was incredibly touched by the gesture and it was an amazing start to a great relationship I have developed.
I have since moved jobs a couple of times but the people I met in my first job are all still great friends.


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[EmmaGiggles85]

I can really understand your fears, I felt exactly the same, 5 years ago I was coming to work in a managers position and I thought the local Aussies would hate that I, a new Pom, would be managing them. I couldn't have been made to feel more welcome! On my first day they were all excited to meet me and in my office was a bag of Aussie goodies (vegemite, lamingtons etc) and a welcome card that they had all signed. I was incredibly touched by the gesture and it was an amazing start to a great relationship I have developed.
I have since moved jobs a couple of times but the people I met in my first job are all still great friends.


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That is so lovely to hear!! It must have been so worrying for you but all worth it now of course [emoji4] thank you for the reply xx

Thanks, Emma x

[akiralx]

My wife and I have a large circle of friends in the U.K.- but after 8 years in Victoria it hasn't happened here. Neither of us have real friends here, she has one or two acquaintances. It may be our age (late 40s) - by this stage in life most Aussies have made their friendships and have a family circle, so are just not interested in pursuing more. 

[benj1980]

You'll find that most people you meet can trace back their migration story be it, themselves, parents or grandparents so to be honest there is a subtle connection. Aussies are used to migrants unless they are indigenous they come from a family of them at some point! As others had said, if you join the local groups, go to the local clubs and speak to other parents at school you'll make new friends! 

[Lambethlad]

This appeared on my Facebook today. Looks like someone added the bottom line (obviously an Aussie who can't spell).

[EmmaGiggles85]

My wife and I have a large circle of friends in the U.K.- but after 8 years in Victoria it hasn't happened here. Neither of us have real friends here, she has one or two acquaintances. It may be our age (late 40s) - by this stage in life most Aussies have made their friendships and have a family circle, so are just not interested in pursuing more. 

Awwww i am sorry to hear that... i dobt think it matters what age you are, do any of you get invokved in any activities to meet new people?? Have neither of you made work friends?

can i ask you if that has stopped you from enjoying it? Or do you still feel you made the best move?

Thanks, Emma x

[EmmaGiggles85]

You'll find that most people you meet can trace back their migration story be it, themselves, parents or grandparents so to be honest there is a subtle connection. Aussies are used to migrants unless they are indigenous they come from a family of them at some point! As others had said, if you join the local groups, go to the local clubs and speak to other parents at school you'll make new friends! 

Yes i suppose you're right there! Thanks for the reply x

Thanks, Emma x

[EmmaGiggles85]

This appeared on my Facebook today. Looks like someone added the bottom line (obviously an Aussie who can't spell).

Omg this made me laugh haha. What on earth ?? it is quite true though.... xx

Thanks, Emma x

[Guest The Pom Queen]

I've been the one who has worked outside of our home business and mixed more with the Aussies, 98% have been absolutely fine. I did have a couple of co workers who were jealous of my experience and made my life difficult. I also remember a new vet starting and everything they were told was met with "In the UK we do it this way" "The UK way is better" even I felt like telling them to go back to the UK. You get the pom jokes thrown at you and comments about your accent (which are usually positive).
One thing I will say is the Australians I have met don't tend to have the sarcastic humour that I have and I end up having to explain it's a joke


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