Rosiehome Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I am a leaving Brisbane in just over two weeks and I am having all kinds of last minute anxiety and jitters. I feel it's almost overwhelming and I don't know where to start listing all I'm worrying about. I came here 19 years ago after marrying an Australian Perm Resident. We lived in the UK for five years and then came here to be near his family. That relationship ended six years ago and I've been single by choice for most of that time. He found someone twenty years younger and I suspect that is turning sour on him now. I am sad to be leaving so many good friends over here. The irony is after my separation I felt so alone out here but now I'm leaving so many friends have come out of the woodwork wanting to catch up before I go. Even my ex's family who I always got on really well with and have stayed close after the split have asked me to a farewell get together. I really love my job here and I wake in the night wondering if I'm mad to leave it and the lovely people I work with behind. i have two sons. My 17 year old is really looking forward to coming back with me. (He has friends over there from a two year stint back in the UK a few years ago that he has stayed close to). However my 20 year old originally said he wanted to stay another year but is now saying he doesn't know if he'll follow me anytime soon. He wants to do more study and can't do it in the UK because of the three year residency rules for tertiary education. I am dreading leaving him behind although he seems to be fine about it and has a great network of friends here. i am stressing about getting my bond back on the property I am renting.The agents seems determined to find some little excuse to with hold some of it. The house is in great condition but she's already nit-picking over tiny details like small marks on walls despite us having lived here for 3 and a half years. Is this not normal wear and tear? I have to get a roadworthy to sell my car and have just found out it will cost about $2k to replace seatbelts the dog has chewed! Arghh! To cap it all my ex is really emotional over my son and I leaving. He says he wants to follow us over and has even asked if there is a chance of trying to work things out between us as he can't imagine being here without us! I was looking forward to leaving all that heartache behind and having a fresh start. Everything is booked including the dog. I don't feel able to deal with his sadness and I'm hoping it won't sway the 17 yr old. I have had some fabulous times over here and I don't hate Australia or Australians like some on the wider forum but have never felt it was home. I suffered long bouts of depression due to missing home and family. I'm so looking forward to spending time with my Mum and my brother and sister, nieces and old friends but I'm finding this last couple of weeks so stressful. It's now 2.30am and as usual I'm wide awake churning all this over. Is this normal? Please tell me it will all be worth it! Goodness this has turned into quite the rant....had to get it all out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Who knows?! We would all like a crystal ball from time to time I suspect. I'm sure it will all be good - it has been for most of us (in the same way that the original move is good for most). Remember that you made the best decision you could at the time with all the information available to you - in a non emotional state. Once the emotions come into play then all sorts of things go haywire. Looking at it logically - if it all works out you win but if, for some reason, doesn't then it isn't the end of the world and you can go back. Nothing is forever! I wouldn't be making decisions based on someone else's emotional blackmail though, look after yourself. Your kids are going to fly the coop anyway so at 20 you could expect them to be making their own way in the world - they may stay in Aus, they may move back to UK or they could end up anywhere between Argentina and Zanzibar. Good luck and enjoy the ride!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 Thanks for the reply Quoll. Looking back at my post now I'm a bit embarrassed...I do sound a bit raving! Note to self; don't post on public forum when stressed out at 2am. It will all seem better in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Thanks for the reply Quoll. Looking back at my post now I'm a bit embarrassed...I do sound a bit raving! Note to self; don't post on public forum when stressed out at 2am. It will all seem better in the morning. LOL at 2am the world always looks weird! It will all be better in the cold light of day! Autumn is upon us now - it was very foggy today but quite warm still for the time of year. Bring your thermal knickers, you might need them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Yes, those worries in the wee hours do get to you, don't they - mine are a) How are my kids going to cope on their own in Oz (youngest has mental health issues) b) is it OK to leave my cat here being fostered (sadly we can't go home for long this time due to pensions) c) will I get my bond back from the greedy bastard letting agents - You are not alone! I am going to have to learn to take a chill pill - my hubby ambles through life without making plans and seems to be much more comfy in his own skin than me..... I'm fully expecting people to come out the woodwork to wish me farewell - But you know what, for the most part they have just not been there for me, despite me making a huge effort at times - so any 'we'll miss yous' will fall on deaf ears - especially when I get lovely messages from close friends in UK looking forward to catching up.. so looking forward to being with friends and family, being in my own home and not beholden to some greedy landlord, and even wearing my thermals for a bracing walk. Have just been tidying garden and am in such a sweat from an hours effort. Try to go with the flow, enjoy your last days - you will soon be home and that is the best feeling.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 So, Chortlepuss, how long do you have left in Australia? Will you be home in time for Christmas? Quoll, I will be heading straight to M&S for some thermals! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 It sounds to me like it will do you good to put a few more miles between you and your ex! My reaction - sure it's hard to leave the 20-year-old behind, but he's at an age when he's ready to spread his wings. You could decide to stay for his sake, and then he'd announce he's off to the US for an exchange, or off to Europe for a gap year, or. . . And of course he'll be fine. At 20 years old, no matter how much you love your mum, you're so busy discovering life you don't have time to miss her! I agree about the friends - they may be "coming out of the woodwork" now, but if you decided to stay, would they disappear back into the woodwork again? Not much point in friends if they're not there when you need them! Leaving a good job is hard but is it more important than the other aspects of your life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 You're right @Marisawright and @Chortlepuss, if I'd have always had as good a social network as has emerged since I announced I am leaving, I may not have decided to go! I've said somewhere before, the New Years period always depressed me here. Christmas was ok because I could have fun with my kids but New Years Eve I always felt I was missing being with close friends or family. I think being single doesn't help at my age...most people are doing "happy couple" type stuff at New Year with other couples. All this sounds so logical now but in the wee small hours all the doubts creep in. I am obviously not consuming enough wine to get me through the night...must try harder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 So, Chortlepuss, how long do you have left in Australia? Will you be home in time for Christmas? Quoll, I will be heading straight to M&S for some thermals! Current plan is early March 2016 - just need to get son settled before committing to flights. So not this Christmas but the next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Aww Rosie,only natural to feel stressed with only two weeks to go,and a big change for you and your family.:hug:What you are going through right now though is only temporary,everything always is,including life!:laugh:I expect your ex is remembering when you emigrated etc and its bringing back happy memories for him!What will be will be though hon,and if for some reason he does follow,well who are we to judge!Just keep in mind the bigger picture,and look forward with hope and positivity and I hope all will be fine for you.Please keep us updated hon,have a safe flight and a happy future !xoxoxoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 10, 2015 Author Share Posted November 10, 2015 Aww Rosie,only natural to feel stressed with only two weeks to go,and a big change for you and your family.:hug:What you are going through right now though is only temporary,everything always is,including life!:laugh:I expect your ex is remembering when you emigrated etc and its bringing back happy memories for him!What will be will be though hon,and if for some reason he does follow,well who are we to judge!Just keep in mind the bigger picture,and look forward with hope and positivity and I hope all will be fine for you.Please keep us updated hon,have a safe flight and a happy future !xoxoxoxox Thank you @Jacaranda. Eleven days to go now and I'm in less of a panic now I have left work and I'm working my way through the 'to-do' list. The stress of leaving is countered by the excitement of my family (especially my 87 yr old mum) who are counting the days until we arrive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy75 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Good luck Rosiehome, lots of mixed emotions went around in my head just before we left, again I had "friends" who wanted me to keep in touch once settled back - naive as I am, I sent them update e-mails about my new life etc., never heard a thing back - that was nearly 6 months ago now! Of course I won't be bothering putting them on the Christmas Card list! With regard to your rental, we had some bother toward the end for petty little minor things (we'd had a cat who died 6 months before moving out but they were trying to blame him for holes in the carpet, which were actually proven to be caused by moths!), I contacted the RTA to check what is classed as wear and tear and from what I told them they agreed with me, they then helped me to resolve the issues and I ended up with $75 less from my bond (for a pest clean) as opposed to the $500 that the landlord was trying to claim (for a new carpet). Landlords think they have the upper hand because you're moving out and need the money but just stand your ground and it will hopefully work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 I am really disappointed with the way rental agents treat tenants. It's like anyone who has to rent must be the scum of the earth looking to vandalise property or do a moonlight flit. Despite my best efforts to clean and fix even the minutest mark on the wall, I will be amazed if I get my full bond back. Do the real estate get to make money on withholding money or does it go to the owner? I am relieved to know your move back went so well. It is a big decision to go back, but if you never try, you'll never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 I had my final inspections with the rental agent and the owner today. A friend and I spent three whole days getting the place immaculate, only to have my bond deducted because "the garden needed tidying up". I am so over the whole renting experience in Australia. I've only two more days here, and it's been so stressful, I've missed out on seeing friends because I was trying to present a show home in someone else's property. I can't wait to check in my bags, take a deep breath and just collapse on that plane. I don't think I will breathe easy again until we have picked up the dog in Manchester and I can go and have that cup of tea with my Mum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 We had a fairly mixed experience of renting in Australia. When we left the rental and moved into our own house in Brisbane we made sure it was like a new pin, the carpet was better than when we moved in but they still deducted from memory $100 to have the carpets professionally cleaned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I had my final inspections with the rental agent and the owner today. A friend and I spent three whole days getting the place immaculate, only to have my bond deducted because "the garden needed tidying up". I am so over the whole renting experience in Australia. Pity you didn't live in New South Wales! There, if the landlord wants to deduct anything from your bond, they have to go to the rental tribunal. It costs the landlord $80 to go to the Tribunal so they usually don't bother unless there's a real problem, especially as there's always a risk the tribunal will say "no" - as a result, most tenants get 100% of their bond back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Pity you didn't live in New South Wales! There, if the landlord wants to deduct anything from your bond, they have to go to the rental tribunal. It costs the landlord $80 to go to the Tribunal so they usually don't bother unless there's a real problem, especially as there's always a risk the tribunal will say "no" - as a result, most tenants get 100% of their bond back. sadly market in Brisbane largely unregulated and agencies can and will make deductions based on their power to do so. I have been in a older style property for 18 months - landlord done no maintenance apart from getting a dangerous electrical fault fixed after 6 months of nagging and my son being burned by touching a faulty switch. I despair of incompetent, unprofessional, fraudulent agency staff who make life hell for tenants just because of the lack of governance and regulation regarding their roles. I'm doubly frustrated as my rented home in the UK is fully maintained and my tenants respected because they pay on time and care for my property. You're well out of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hooray, I am finally home and just picked up the dog from the airport. He's happy and lively and I just took him for a walk where he had fields to run in instead of a crowded dog park. Everything looks so Christmassy here and the air is fresh rather than the heavy humidity that was starting to build in Brisbane when we left. I can finally let out a big sigh of relief and let go of some of that tension of the last couple of weeks. Thanks for everyone's support - I can't believe I finally made it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 So great to hear you are home, well done. Let the fun begin. :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Aww Rosie,real happy for you!Was the flight ok hon?Yes its starting to look very Xmas'y where I live.Nice decorated tree in the market place,and pretty lights around the town.Welcome home hon!xoxoxoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Good to hear you've arrived safely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouse Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Glad you and your dog arrived safe and sound. Please come back and do an update on how it's going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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