UK - AU - UK and Back to AU

[Bushwhacker]

Hi everyone,

 

My wife and I spent a year and a half in Perth, we came for work on a 457. We missed the UK and wanted to return home. We've been back in the UK for just over 2 years and for most of the 2 we have yearned to return to Perth.

 

I'm worried that we remember life to be better in Perth than it actually was. Our reasons for returning are the weather and work life balance. We didn't have the work life balance previously as I was fly in fly out. We also have a network of friends and some family there too.

 

We would love to hear from those who have gone back to the UK only to return to Australia for good. It'd be great to hear your stories and the reasons why you made the choice.

 

Thanks

 

Bushwhacker

[CameronsDad]

My wife has done it the opposite way AU to UK to AU to UK. But we are now heading back to AU again! The pull of family and friends and the trials and tribulations that go along with that has forced the move each time. Except for the first time she came to the UK, she only came for a year and kept postponing her return as she built a new life in Glasgow.

 

The he reason for the return to Australia is that we now have a son and have decided that it would be better for him to grow up in Oz based on the fact that she grew up there in the first place. I'm happy with that and I'm now right up for the move too.

 

It it doesn't matter where we live, we will always have family in the UK and Australia so we just need to deal with that side of things wherever we are.

[VERYSTORMY]

The first issue is visas. You would need to check if you still qualify for a visa.

 

Then i would look at jobs. Perth in particular has changed a LOT in the last two years for engineers.

[Bushwhacker]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

My wife's parents are in the UK, so is my dad. My mum is in Australia. I want to move back to AU for good but wonder how this will all work when parents get more elderly.

 

I am concerned that the longing to go back is the result of us remembering the place through rose tinted spectacles. Not sure how we work that out though.

[Guest]

The work life balance is no different in Perth in my experience, if anything with a standard 4 weeks annual leave it's worse. I work in IT in the finance sector so other types of work could be different I suppose but not from what I saw.

 

Weather? Well that's a much debated point on here and as you've already experienced both you can make your own find up!

 

To be bruatally honest if you've moved once and then returned I wouldn't be looking to move out again I'd be looking for what the real problem in your life is. Believe me as someone who has been nomadic the realisation that happiness is found in a state of mind not in a location has brought me peace I would have never thought possible.

[Guest]

Just read your last post, we returned to the UK in 2013, 15 days ago my mam was diagnosed with bowel cancer and died a day later. I was there for her and my dad and have absolutely no idea how my dad would cope with day to day living without me, packing up his house right now to move him up to Scotland. I guess he would have had to go into residential care, not something you would wish on your loved ones unless there is no other option.

 

it depends on other siblings of course - I have none so what happens to my dad is all down to me. Hard of course when you have families in both countries, I don't envy your choice.

[movingback]

Just read your last post, we returned to the UK in 2013, 15 days ago my mam was diagnosed with bowel cancer and died a day later. I was there for her and my dad and have absolutely no idea how my dad would cope with day to day living without me, packing up his house right now to move him up to Scotland. I guess he would have had to go into residential care, not something you would wish on your loved ones unless there is no other option.

 

it depends on other siblings of course - I have none so what happens to my dad is all down to me. Hard of course when you have families in both countries, I don't envy your choice.

 

So sorry to hear about your Mam Lady Rainicorn. I hope your Dad adjusts to Scotland and you enjoy the time you have with him.

[MARYROSE02]

I went back to England for twelve years, after eighteen in Australia, and now I've been back in Australia again for six and a half years, which is also the longest period I've ever been away from England before.

 

I never really planned any of those 'stages' to be honest. I came to Australia on a WHV, and was lucky enough to get a permanent visa as a result of an Australian government amnesty for illegal immigrants in 1980. I was here legally, and I just happened to arrived in Australia before the 'cut-off' date. One of my brothers got his residency the same way, and the other one got sponsored by his employer.

 

Then I lost my job after fifteen years, and I decided to go back to England for a year's holiday to see my parents, got a job with Royal Mail, and decided to stay longer, so I rented my Sydney flat out. I would never have quit my job, but I was made redundant, which was really upsetting, but the 'silver lining in my cloud' was being able to help my parents in their last years.

 

I bought my parents' house after they died, and could still be in England now, but I decided to come back to Sydney because I have a brother here. I was happy in both countries, but I think I will be in Australia for good now, as I have no direct family left in England, so there is no reason to go there any more (apart from eventually selling my house there.)

 

There is no right or wrong, staying in Australia, or going back to the UK, although easier for me with no dependants to worry about. Each time I moved, it was like emigrating all over again. So be prepared to feel unsettled whichever way you are going. You might say you hate Australia, but when you get back to the UK, you find you did not hate Australia after all, and the other thing to consider is that moving back to the UK to LIVE is much harder than going back for a holiday!

[Jacaranda]

LR,I am so sorry to hear about your Mum passing away.Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

OP LR has a valid point.I guess some people think happiness is "out there"when in reality its "in there"! I grew up in Australia,and had an idyllic childhood spent mostly outside (not always by choice,my parents were in the mindset of wanting us away from them as much as possible and it wasn't abnormal for us kids to be gone all day,coming home for dinner!!)However times do change.Due to social changes,kids do spend a lot of time indoors playing with Nintendo's and computers!My kids are aussies,moved to the UK when they were much younger and really?Nothing changed!We still did a lot of stuff outside together.

[Bungo]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

My wife's parents are in the UK, so is my dad. My mum is in Australia. I want to move back to AU for good but wonder how this will all work when parents get more elderly.

 

I am concerned that the longing to go back is the result of us remembering the place through rose tinted spectacles. Not sure how we work that out though.

 

There is a huge possibility that you are looking back with rose tints. It is human nature to remember the great bits and forget about the rest. I lived in a third country (before we moved to Australia) and even I look back now and say oh it wasn't too bad. Then my OH reminds me of how I was always in tears and couldn't even get out of bed some days. Doesn't sound like you were miserable like that, but I am just trying to demonstrate how the mind definitely compensates and distorts memories.

 

Work life balance? Well if you didn't get it last time, why would you this time? Ok maybe you just chose not to do FIFO, but it doesn't mean that everyone else has work life balance. I didn't find it in particular, found it much the same, although if anything Australian employment law and just common practice is a lot less conducive to work life balance than any European country.

 

I don't know what you should do though. It is the curse of the migrant, that once you have lived somewhere else, you may never truly and 100% settle again, there is always that something there in the back of your mind. If we get it again, having just returned to the UK, we have vowed to ignore it and not turn into ping pongers.

[Booma]

we lived in oz for almost 5 yrs but went back to uk cause i was homesick. after a few months i realised it was a terrible mistake & we started saving to come back to oz. we got back to oz a couple of years ago & i am settled & happy this time. my hubby is a ozzie so he was relieved to come back mostly cause of the better weather & he didnt like the uk much but wanted me to be happy.

 

we do outdoors things a lot more in oz. i prefer to be outdoors in the sunshine & dont like wearing layers if clothes to do outdoors activities & outings. im a teacher & find work & life balance & professional development much better in oz. i like that i can be at the beach 10 mins after work instead of commuting. i see lots of students & there families there as well with many having tea there before they go home. living near the beach as well as the bush land close by is a bonus as well. having a lovely garden & all weather outdoor area is lovely as well & we mostly eat outdoors all year.

 

we won't be going back to uk again apart from seeing family but they want to move here as well now so fingers crossed that happens.

 

i think sometimes youve got to ping pong to find where you really belong. it worked out well for me.

[Jacaranda]

It also depends where you live in Oz.We couldn't eat outside all year,either too hot or too cold,but we managed it when the weather was in between!lol For some people (again depending where in Oz you live)a blue sky and beach is enough.For others it isn't and never will be enough.I guess to the OP,you have to weigh up whats more important to you?A place or family?

[Parley]

Lovely story Booma.

[Booma]

It also depends where you live in Oz.We couldn't eat outside all year,either too hot or too cold,but we managed it when the weather was in between!lol For some people (again depending where in Oz you live)a blue sky and beach is enough.For others it isn't and never will be enough.I guess to the OP,you have to weigh up whats more important to you?A place or family?

 

 

wow - just wow

[Bushwhacker]

Thank you so much for all of the replies so far. Its been great to hear your stories. Each post makes a good point and gives us something to consider.

 

When we came back to the UK we moved to a location that was about 2.5 - 3 hours from where we were from originally. We found that our friends stayed in touch less or make less of an effort. We hear from our friends in Australia more than we do than some of our friends in the UK. We formed some good friendships whilst we were over there, being an expat immediately gives you common ground with others there and it felt like an extended family. We also met some awesome aussies, I find the people there very friendly.

 

We have been back in the UK for nearly 2 years and for most of the two we've been longing to go back and planning. There were short periods of time when we lived there that I wasn't FIFOing and it was great. Towards the end, when we'd handed in our notice at work, we were walking home from work in the sunshine and said to each other "are we doing the right thing going back?" and we decided that we were because the UK was home, we were only in Aus to work and that working and living in Perth wasn't the regular working week as I would be FIFOing. If I go back I would only consider a role in the city, otherwise there'd be no point. I think we also didn't allow ourselves to settle or try to settle as we knew we were going back.

 

I think you're right Booma, it took coming back here to realise what we wanted.

 

For those who came back to the UK and stayed, other than family, are there other things about the UK that you think make it a better place to be?

[Jacaranda]

Booma,why the wow just wow comment?If you're referring to my comment about place or people,let me explain further.There are thousands who when emigrating put the place before family,otherwise they wouldn't emigrate in the first place.My own parents emigrated to Oz back in 1970.The truth is,although I guess they cared to a certain extent about those who they were leaving behind,they put the "place"first!That's a cold hard fact!Many people on this forum have stated over the years you have to be selfish to emigrate and that's true.Of course your own happiness comes first,can't deny that aspect.But at the end of the day,for a lot of people,the place comes first not the people.

I did the same thing except I returned to the UK and left my Mum and siblings in Oz.Although I cared about leaving them,I wanted a new fresh start so had to put my own happiness first.

[Bungo]

.

 

For those who came back to the UK and stayed, other than family, are there other things about the UK that you think make it a better place to be?

 

We were happy in Australia, never homesick and settled in straight away. We came back because it made sense for us to come back and we felt like we were not getting anywhere in Australia due to the particular circumstances we were in e.g. still renting five years on. We came back because it made sense and to be honest, whilst we made ourselves look on the positive side of things, I was terrified we would get here and have that "what have we done moment".

 

I still do think of Australia very fondly, I feel no reason to determine which is the better place. I like to be optimistic and positive about wherever I am but there are a couple of things (other than family) that I am really enjoying about being back in the UK.

 

Daylight! Wow I had forgotten that the UK gets so much usable daylight compared to Australia. Yes we lived near the beach in Australia, but we either came home in the dark (winter) or we come home to maybe an hour of daylight max in the height of summer. I have spent the evening sitting outside more times in the last three weeks than I did for five years in Australia!

 

Another factor in that is the weather, which I am finding very agreeable and more conducive to doing things here, it was either too hot or raining in Sydney a lot of the time. I have used an umbrella maybe six times now in over four months, I had got used to a much wetter climate in Sydney and the contrast is amazing.

 

Very specific to us, but finances are a lot better now. We were very dependent upon two incomes in Sydney, but here we could easily manage on one and in fact I decided to give up work and start my own business now.

 

Final one is a bit weird and I can't even explain it properly. But I just feel like I am where I belong now. And I didn't know that I felt like I didn't belong in Australia, I never ever thought that whilst I was there. But now that I am back, I feel this strange sense of comfort and belonging.