8 months in and feeling depressed... Help???

[RachelGreep]

Hello. Been lurking on here for a long time stealing advice all the way to Oz. Now I feel I need some help of my own.

 

We emigrated about 8/9 months ago to Melbourne. We are in Narre Warren and are quite settled with our son in Primary school here and get out and about plenty with lots of parks and are close to beaches/Dandes/Peninsula as well as not too far from the CBD. Problem is that I am feeling completely alone. We have been here long enough that everyone back "home" in the UK have forgotten about the traumatic goodbyes and are getting on with their lives (of course) so we hardly hear from them. THat might be a good ting though because it was making me want to go home when they were crying about how much they missed us.

 

I have been trying to "get out there" and been to a few yoga sessions, classes at the gym and swimming at the weekends. Stuff with the family as well as stuff on my own since it feels like we are in each others pockets a bit now. I didn't appreciate just how hard it would be to try and make friends or even acquaintances in your 30's in a brand new part of the world. I didn't factor in all the different nationalities and culture differences which are more blended where we were in the UK and everyone would talk to everyone. I don't know if it is OK just to start chatting to people and have become very withdrawn and quiet over the last couple of months. I just don't seem to click with anyone or get further than small talk. People don't seem to want any new friends and don't seem to notice me sometimes. I feel a bit invisible but then again I feel like an alien because I don't know what to do and feel awkward.

 

I am worried that I might be depressed. It didn't dawn on me until recently. We were out for the day at the weekend and I was just sitting watching everything going by while my son and husband were running around after each other. Then I realised they had been shouting over for me to join in and I hadn't even heard them. I was just sitting there in my own world thinking about how much I want to go home. I don't actually want to go home, I like it here and some days I am walking along and I look round and thingk "Wow.... we LIVE here!" the beautiful sunrises/sunsets, the trees and fields even though we are in a built up area, the sun.

 

I made and cancelled an appt to see the GP as I was worried about being labelled as "Depressed" and don't know what it means here in Oz... Are they ok with it here or is it more taboo than in the UK? Will I be covered by Medicare if I need to get help for depression? I am worrying about everything and my mind is just racing. I think maybe I have been falling apart since before we even left the UK as it has been the most stressful, emotional and worrying thing that I have been through and that is mainly because I have chosen to do all this and can blame no one else if I hate it, it goes wrong, everything falls apart. Don't get me wrong, I know this sounds trivial and a lot of people would swap places with me in a second. I really think this is the opportunity of a lifetime and I want to be able to enjoy it. I just can't seem to get out of this fog.

 

Even if I did manage to strike up a conversation with someone new just now, I think I would be such a dullard that they would be like "Hmmm... ok, you're a fun new friend in the making!!!" cos I am just such a sad sack just now.

 

Apologies that this had rambled on for a bit. Thanks to anyone who can help me out with this. I don't want to worry my family and I don't even know what I would say to my husband as I know he is having to deal with this stuff too but he just seems to be doing better. Thanks.

[wattsy1982]

Totally get where you are coming from.

 

I hit the 8 month mark and literally over night woke up feeling like sh*t.

 

I didnt/dont like the person I have become so cant really expect others to like me either. Family and friends back home have really noticed the change in me, even via emails and texts.

 

I also walk along the beach etc and think we live here (gold coast), in a place where people win a holiday of a lifetime to....

 

But I quickly learnt/was told that all of these things are materialistic and dont really matter/cant be enjoyed in full if you are unhappy. You feel mad for thinking these things you think and people (here and back home) automatically think you dont like Australia when really you miss home, BIG difference in that!

 

I would say it is too early to go home (not that you have suggested it) BUT i dont think its too early to start thinking if this is/can be a long term move.

 

It certainly made me look at what we had and realise what is important and what isnt!

 

Hope it works out

[Guest Guest66881]

I hear your plight too, so many people on this forum have gone through exactly what you are describing and no doubting many more to come.

I too suffered earlier on in our life changing move across the world, it is really hard for some to strike up new friendships having been settled in your day to day life from wherever you came from.

 

The only real bit of advice i can offer is to just go out more than staying in, i don't mean boozing and clubbing, it could just be a walk in the local park a stroll around the shopping centre just looking, grab a coffee at a cafe, join a local woman's club or join a gym and make new friends that way maybe?

 

Eight months is no time here really, give it atleast two years and then see what's what, maybe go see the doctor just talking face to face about it will help, ok you will pay financially for the pleasure but at least it's off your chest.

Good luck in your choices.

[rosiew]

If you are depressed any medication etc will be covered under Medicare as usual (ie you will pay a contribution). Your GP can also refer you for several sessions with a psychologist to help you make a plan.

 

In the meantime, if I were you I would join the parents committee at school where they are always happy to see new people.

[Prairie Girl]

Hi, I have experienced this at times too, during my multiple stints here. I would strongly suggest getting involved in an activity or job that you are really excited about. For myself I will be starting a Masters degree in Fine Art which I am passionate about. it could be a job, or a course of some kind that you love. Is there something you love to do? Something where you can really get absorbed, not just a once a week class. I don't know what you like but some ideas are to join a pottery studio, a gardening club, start a university degree, or volunteer at a pet rescue organisation. You have to find something that really excites you. I am going nuts waiting for my masters class to begin, 2 months to go and I will be a much happier person. A new city cannot possibly fulfill all your needs. Get time away from your family to do something you can get totally passionate about and forget your homesickness. I know for myself when I get doing art I become so happy I don't care where I am. Good luck.

[scotsaway]

Hey

 

Don't keep this to yourself, see your GP, talk to your husband. It will let him know what is going on and then he can help you. You definitely need to get out as much as you can. You live in Melbourne which I think is one of the best cities in the world, I lived there for 20 months then I had to move to Adelaide (for work), on my own, where I didn't know anyone and I had never felt so miserable. Now almost a year on I have never been happier. The point I am trying to make is, stick it out, you are not on your own, and you don't know how you might feel a few months from now. Chin up and take care

[Becontree Boy]

Totally get where you are coming from.

 

I hit the 8 month mark and literally over night woke up feeling like sh*t.

 

I didnt/dont like the person I have become so cant really expect others to like me either. Family and friends back home have really noticed the change in me, even via emails and texts.

 

I also walk along the beach etc and think we live here (gold coast), in a place where people win a holiday of a lifetime to....

 

But I quickly learnt/was told that all of these things are materialistic and dont really matter/cant be enjoyed in full if you are unhappy. You feel mad for thinking these things you think and people (here and back home) automatically think you dont like Australia when really you miss home, BIG difference in that!

 

I would say it is too early to go home (not that you have suggested it) BUT i dont think its too early to start thinking if this is/can be a long term move.

 

It certainly made me look at what we had and realise what is important and what isnt!

 

Hope it works out

 

I think many pomsinOz readers have been through periods where we've felt just like you. You don't even have to move to Australia to feel like it. I remember the culture shock involved in moving from Essex to South Yorkshire in my early 30s. The new estates in areas like Narre Warren remind me a little of British "New Towns" and their associated blues. Chances are that you are not the only person there (native or immigrant) feeling like a fish out of water there. It takes time to build up community spirit. Maybe a move nearer Melbourne CBD into a more established community might help? We moved beyond the CBD out west to the old country town of Bacchus Marsh and, after 4 years here, feel more connected to people in our local community than anywhere else we have lived in either UK or OZ. Certainly 8 months is too early to give up on Australia. I'd suggest, like other posters, getting involved in activities locally. If that doesn't work then a move down the road could possibly do the trick rather than a really expensive one back to the UK.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Rachel there are some great poms live round you, have you met up with Herbies yet (Trudy) the Stocking Family (Lisa) both of them live in Cranbourne and then we have Annabel who lives in Narre Warren who has 5 children. If you want to pm me I will get you in touch with them. They came over not knowing anyone and now have a great circle of friends. I love them all to bits.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Also forgot to say join the www.lifeinvictoria.com forum

[LKC]

I'm going to go against the grain a little bit here, and suggest that you don't go out any more than you want to. We moved over to Aus 5 1/2 years ago, and for the first 9 or so months I heaped a whole ton of pressure on myself to get out and meet new people. I had family members pressuring me too, telling me that I had to go out and meet new people, and although I did meet people, it was like you said - nothing more than small talk. I started to feel depressed (I have suffered with depression on and off for 20 years, so I know that it was depression), and stopped going anywhere. I became totally withdrawn, and although I have never felt homesickness, I did wonder if we had done the right thing, since everything was harder to do.

 

I actually realised (I think that someone on PIO pointed it out to me) that it had taken me 34 years in the UK to find the friends that I had, and that I wasn't going to have replaced them all in the short time that I had been here. I stopped forcing myself to go to places that I didn't want to go (just in case I might make a new friend), and started to go to places that I had to go (like school with the kids), and places that I wanted to go, not to meet people but just because it was something that I enjoyed. Once I took the pressure off myself, I started to relax and enjoy life again, and actually I started to make friends, some of which are the best friends I have ever had. I wonder now, looking back, if maybe I came across as being a little bit desperate and needy, and that put people off a bit.

 

If you enjoy yoga, go to yoga, but go because you enjoy the exercise and not to meet new people. Once you start going routinely to places and start to enjoy it, people will gradually become friends. It does get better, but it takes time. I would say that I had been here for maybe 18 months before I started to make what I would call friends.

 

Having been there, I do understand how hard it can be, but you will get there.

[Harpodom]

I'm going to go against the grain a little bit here, and suggest that you don't go out any more than you want to. We moved over to Aus 5 1/2 years ago, and for the first 9 or so months I heaped a whole ton of pressure on myself to get out and meet new people. I had family members pressuring me too, telling me that I had to go out and meet new people, and although I did meet people, it was like you said - nothing more than small talk. I started to feel depressed (I have suffered with depression on and off for 20 years, so I know that it was depression), and stopped going anywhere. I became totally withdrawn, and although I have never felt homesickness, I did wonder if we had done the right thing, since everything was harder to do.

 

I actually realised (I think that someone on PIO pointed it out to me) that it had taken me 34 years in the UK to find the friends that I had, and that I wasn't going to have replaced them all in the short time that I had been here. I stopped forcing myself to go to places that I didn't want to go (just in case I might make a new friend), and started to go to places that I had to go (like school with the kids), and places that I wanted to go, not to meet people but just because it was something that I enjoyed. Once I took the pressure off myself, I started to relax and enjoy life again, and actually I started to make friends, some of which are the best friends I have ever had. I wonder now, looking back, if maybe I came across as being a little bit desperate and needy, and that put people off a bit.

 

If you enjoy yoga, go to yoga, but go because you enjoy the exercise and not to meet new people. Once you start going routinely to places and start to enjoy it, people will gradually become friends. It does get better, but it takes time. I would say that I had been here for maybe 18 months before I started to make what I would call friends.

 

Having been there, I do understand how hard it can be, but you will get there.

Agree 100% with this, stay true to yourself what ever you do.

 

Trying to force the issue is likely to produce a few 'friendships' with people you don't genuinely like, whereas if you're being your natural self, doing the things that interest you, chances are you'll meet like minded people that you can click with. When the time is right, friends will come.

[Keith and Linda]

My Sister in law started helping out at the cub/scouts here in OZ, now has some really good friends also my niece and nephew whom joined the scouts now have life long friends, worth a try maybe? I also did it in the UK for a few years most enjoyable and quite relaxing away from all the tensions of work.

I wish you well.

[RachelGreep]

Thank you for replying so quickly. I was going to come back and try to delete my post thinking no one would have seen it!

I don't know why I thought the hard part was leaving the UK and getting set up here. THIS is the hardest part. Actually living the rest of your life once the initial end-of-your-old-UK-life and then getting through all the technicalities like shipping, getting here, finding where to rent/buy/work, schools. That part is all over and it is like "Where is the next check list? What do we need to do now?" and it is "You need to make yourselves a whole new life... day by day" no more "This is what you need to do now....." checklist, checklist, checklist.

 

I don't want to give up and go home. We haven't anything to go back to now as we sold up to get here and spent the meager amount we made on our house getting set up here. Besides, I DO like it here. It is me I don't like any more. So I guess I will talk to the GP and see where I go from there.

 

I have been doing things like joining the gym and those kind of "meet other people" things that sound like they should work but haven't. I think it is because I am so unapproachable at the moment.

 

The Pom Queen Thanks for offering to set me up :wink: with other Pomsinoz families. I would love to say yes but I am feeling so awful just now that I doubt it would be much fun for them. I suppose I could message them on here to get in touch? At least I would have some people to get to know in the area. Got to start somewhere I guess.

 

LKC your post seems to resonate with me. I have had ups and downs at traumatic times in my life and I seem to slip into a blue phase more easily now. It just feels like we have been here for some time now although when I think about it 8 months is not long really. You are right - the close friends I have back in the UK have taken years of being in each others company to get to the stage where you can not see them for weeks or months and when you do get time to catch up it is like you saw them yesterday and they are so easy to talk to. Taking for granted my best friends who I could just sit with and watch a film in silence just sitting with each other not feeling awkward. Now it is back to the start, kind of like dating again!!!! Trying to make a good impression, keeping up appearances and doing the small talk until you eventually click with someone.

 

I don't think I have really helped myself posting this all online but at least I have admitted it out loud. Hopefully if I hang in there and plod on through, things will start to fall into place and I will be able to feel a bit less alien.

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to this. Feels a lot better that I am not completely alone in feeling like this.

[LKC]

Thank you for replying so quickly. I was going to come back and try to delete my post thinking no one would have seen it!

I don't know why I thought the hard part was leaving the UK and getting set up here. THIS is the hardest part. Actually living the rest of your life once the initial end-of-your-old-UK-life and then getting through all the technicalities like shipping, getting here, finding where to rent/buy/work, schools. That part is all over and it is like "Where is the next check list? What do we need to do now?" and it is "You need to make yourselves a whole new life... day by day" no more "This is what you need to do now....." checklist, checklist, checklist.

 

I don't want to give up and go home. We haven't anything to go back to now as we sold up to get here and spent the meager amount we made on our house getting set up here. Besides, I DO like it here. It is me I don't like any more. So I guess I will talk to the GP and see where I go from there.

 

I have been doing things like joining the gym and those kind of "meet other people" things that sound like they should work but haven't. I think it is because I am so unapproachable at the moment.

 

The Pom Queen Thanks for offering to set me up :wink: with other Pomsinoz families. I would love to say yes but I am feeling so awful just now that I doubt it would be much fun for them. I suppose I could message them on here to get in touch? At least I would have some people to get to know in the area. Got to start somewhere I guess.

 

LKC your post seems to resonate with me. I have had ups and downs at traumatic times in my life and I seem to slip into a blue phase more easily now. It just feels like we have been here for some time now although when I think about it 8 months is not long really. You are right - the close friends I have back in the UK have taken years of being in each others company to get to the stage where you can not see them for weeks or months and when you do get time to catch up it is like you saw them yesterday and they are so easy to talk to. Taking for granted my best friends who I could just sit with and watch a film in silence just sitting with each other not feeling awkward. Now it is back to the start, kind of like dating again!!!! Trying to make a good impression, keeping up appearances and doing the small talk until you eventually click with someone.

 

I don't think I have really helped myself posting this all online but at least I have admitted it out loud. Hopefully if I hang in there and plod on through, things will start to fall into place and I will be able to feel a bit less alien.

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to this. Feels a lot better that I am not completely alone in feeling like this.

 

Please don't delete your post. Many of us have felt like this in the past, and many will in the future. I think that it is a normal part of migrating. Suddenly things that were easy and you took for granted, have become so much more difficult. You are over the first bit, where you are busy exploring and setting things up, and now you have nothing to fill that space - as you say there isn't a checklist now. I think that is is far harder if you are at home with children and not working too. When we first arrived, OH was working 10 days at a time with no break, long hours from 6 in the morning to 9 at night, and I was stuck at home with a one and two/three year old. I forced myself to go to playgroup after playgroup, looking for friends. I was rejected from some ("sorry, we're full and don't need new members" - totally soul destroying because it felt like I was being excluded because of who I am and where I came from), and just didn't click with the people in others, and the more I went through this forced process, the worse I felt.

 

We actually moved area slightly, because the house we rented was in an area that we couldn't afford to buy in. Once we moved, bit by bit I started to get out and explore again, joined with another playgroup with only a small group of women with whom I 'clicked', and have made some wonderful friends through that, school and just meeting other people in parks and so on. Things will get better, but maybe you need to take the pressure off yourself a bit, and just put the friends thing to one side for now. It will happen, quite possibly when you least expect it, and I am sure that you will make friends for life.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Thank you for replying so quickly. I was going to come back and try to delete my post thinking no one would have seen it!

I don't know why I thought the hard part was leaving the UK and getting set up here. THIS is the hardest part. Actually living the rest of your life once the initial end-of-your-old-UK-life and then getting through all the technicalities like shipping, getting here, finding where to rent/buy/work, schools. That part is all over and it is like "Where is the next check list? What do we need to do now?" and it is "You need to make yourselves a whole new life... day by day" no more "This is what you need to do now....." checklist, checklist, checklist.

 

I don't want to give up and go home. We haven't anything to go back to now as we sold up to get here and spent the meager amount we made on our house getting set up here. Besides, I DO like it here. It is me I don't like any more. So I guess I will talk to the GP and see where I go from there.

 

I have been doing things like joining the gym and those kind of "meet other people" things that sound like they should work but haven't. I think it is because I am so unapproachable at the moment.

 

The Pom Queen Thanks for offering to set me up :wink: with other Pomsinoz families. I would love to say yes but I am feeling so awful just now that I doubt it would be much fun for them. I suppose I could message them on here to get in touch? At least I would have some people to get to know in the area. Got to start somewhere I guess.

 

LKC your post seems to resonate with me. I have had ups and downs at traumatic times in my life and I seem to slip into a blue phase more easily now. It just feels like we have been here for some time now although when I think about it 8 months is not long really. You are right - the close friends I have back in the UK have taken years of being in each others company to get to the stage where you can not see them for weeks or months and when you do get time to catch up it is like you saw them yesterday and they are so easy to talk to. Taking for granted my best friends who I could just sit with and watch a film in silence just sitting with each other not feeling awkward. Now it is back to the start, kind of like dating again!!!! Trying to make a good impression, keeping up appearances and doing the small talk until you eventually click with someone.

 

I don't think I have really helped myself posting this all online but at least I have admitted it out loud. Hopefully if I hang in there and plod on through, things will start to fall into place and I will be able to feel a bit less alien.

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to this. Feels a lot better that I am not completely alone in feeling like this.

Rachel firstly you aren't alone, I think we all go through a phase of thinking what on earth have we done. For me it was our first Christmas here, now I wouldn't go back if you paid me.

I think when you get low the last thing you want to do is go out and meet people but then it becomes a vicious cycle.

It seems to affect the women more than the men as the women are left at home with the kids whilst the hubby is out working and meeting people. Personally if I was you I would chat with the GP, don't be embarrassed there are a number of members on here who are on anti depressants and they happily chat about it.

If you don't want to meet people in the real world there are plenty of us on here who will be there for you in the virtual world :hug:

[LKC]

Rachel firstly you aren't alone, I think we all go through a phase of thinking what on earth have we done. For me it was our first Christmas here, now I wouldn't go back if you paid me.

I think when you get low the last thing you want to do is go out and meet people but then it becomes a vicious cycle.

It seems to affect the women more than the men as the women are left at home with the kids whilst the hubby is out working and meeting people. Personally if I was you I would chat with the GP, don't be embarrassed there are a number of members on here who are on anti depressants and they happily chat about it.

If you don't want to meet people in the real world there are plenty of us on here who will be there for you in the virtual world :hug:

 

Agreed. When I was at my lowest it was a few special members on here who held my hand and helped me through. I made some good virtual friends on here, some of whom I 'speak' to most days.

[Quoll]

Please do go and see your GP! There is absolutely no shame in getting a mental health care plan and checking things out with a counsellor (go with one who does CBT or ACT) to help you through. I agree with the others - do what is right for you! You cannot force friendships and you may find some nice friends with whom you click, you might not, who knows. Do what interests you and you are more likely to find people on your wavelength (knitting has been my saviour!). Don't be afraid to smile and say something - worst case scenario, they will look at you like you just crawled out of a piece of cheese but one day you will hit pay dirt and connect with someone you can see eye to eye with. Most of the time you might just get a blank look. It certainly helps, as a migrant, to be very self contained and enjoy your own company. Good Luck

[poppytiger]

Totally agree LKC. I have been here 2.5 years aged 50 with a 15 year old was a nightmare at first. Did all the usual got out there, threw myself into everything. Now i just please myself, Melbourne is a transit City, the friends i had made have moved on to pastures new. I see the odd person from time to time, but a real friend is very hard to come by, they are more of acquaintances. Keep plugging away

[3FatCats]

There are heaps and heaps of people who have felt and who feel the way you do! Don't feel strange or ashamed. I would certainly seek out a counsellor if it makes you feel odd to talk to your GP about depression. Just talking things through with someone who is trained to listen can do wonders I assure you! As for the whole going out and meeting people, well... I don't have kids, and was unemployed for almost a year when we came to Aus. I was stuck indoors a lot with my own company (which I don't mind) but it did get me down after so long and I did fall into a depressed state. PIO has been a lifesaver tbh, because at a certain point that was all I had (sounds a bit sad, but true!) so don't underestimate the "friendship" you can achieve through a forum like this. You sound like an intelligent lady who is taking into account both rational and emotional feelings, I think you stand a good chance of making the most of your new life and wish you all the best xxx

[Shellybingobingo]

I feel for you , been hard for most people , I made the mistake of going places that you are invited to . Now I just please myself , people are correct when they say the friends you meet move onto pastures new . I felt like when a group of new poms arrived they moved onto them .

 

I did notice that happening a lot and my friend said to me they have been here 8 yrs and they have no one they can call real friends because they move on to the next arrival then the next lol .

 

I would rather be on my own than to be used like that . But like my hubby said you don't need these people anyway they only take advantage of you and I'm daft enough let them lol.

 

Anotherone when my mate died last year , I made myself Ill for a few month . Not one of them so called friends visited me. They just said so get over it , when your times up ya times up . I have never come across people so harsh here in my life . Obviously there will be people out there that sing off the same hymn sheet as ya . But for now everyone is arms length for me .

 

The he only good thing is I won't let it bog me down into a depressive state , . Do what's right for you and your family . Only you will know what's best for ya . I have been through a phase of what av I done moving here , and I still think it now sometimes . 8 months is very early days though , give it time you'll be right . Chip up Hun .

[Kapri]

Depression is certainly not more taboo here, I'd say it's less taboo.

 

I'd suggest a psychology referral to help you work things through (your GP will refer you) and find an expats group so you can meet up with some people who know what you're going through.

[Que Sera Sera]

I was suffering depression when I got here so was on medication etc. My GP was fab and within 6 months I was off them and haven't looked back. Sometimes you get so low you'll need something to get those seretonin levels up to a manageable place.Its definately not taboo its pretty common actually for people to need help at some point in their life. It doesn't make you weak or bad. Its just like breaking a leg, its an injury that needs time help and sometimes medication .Good luck :hug:

[paul2542]

I'm going to go against the grain a little bit here, and suggest that you don't go out any more than you want to. We moved over to Aus 5 1/2 years ago, and for the first 9 or so months I heaped a whole ton of pressure on myself to get out and meet new people. I had family members pressuring me too, telling me that I had to go out and meet new people, and although I did meet people, it was like you said - nothing more than small talk. I started to feel depressed (I have suffered with depression on and off for 20 years, so I know that it was depression), and stopped going anywhere. I became totally withdrawn, and although I have never felt homesickness, I did wonder if we had done the right thing, since everything was harder to do.

 

I actually realised (I think that someone on PIO pointed it out to me) that it had taken me 34 years in the UK to find the friends that I had, and that I wasn't going to have replaced them all in the short time that I had been here. I stopped forcing myself to go to places that I didn't want to go (just in case I might make a new friend), and started to go to places that I had to go (like school with the kids), and places that I wanted to go, not to meet people but just because it was something that I enjoyed. Once I took the pressure off myself, I started to relax and enjoy life again, and actually I started to make friends, some of which are the best friends I have ever had. I wonder now, looking back, if maybe I came across as being a little bit desperate and needy, and that put people off a bit.

 

If you enjoy yoga, go to yoga, but go because you enjoy the exercise and not to meet new people. Once you start going routinely to places and start to enjoy it, people will gradually become friends. It does get better, but it takes time. I would say that I had been here for maybe 18 months before I started to make what I would call friends.

 

Having been there, I do understand how hard it can be, but you will get there.

 

I think this is the problem im having the at the moment. Putting too much pressure on myself and then getting down about it. I dont know why, but this last few weeks its really hit me hard and just seems to keep getting me down. Ive been really enjoying my time here and dont want to go back to the UK, but its feeling like an issue now.

[paul2542]

Agree 100% with this, stay true to yourself what ever you do.

 

Trying to force the issue is likely to produce a few 'friendships' with people you don't genuinely like, whereas if you're being your natural self, doing the things that interest you, chances are you'll meet like minded people that you can click with. When the time is right, friends will come.

 

Completely agree, and I keep needing to remind myself of this but lately its just an issue that's getting me down.

[jack13]

Ok, your not going to like this but it doesn't sound like your really making enough of an effort to make friends. Go out to bars as often as you can meet as many people as you can. Speak to as many people as you can. On trams/trains whenever and whenever. Speak to people of all ages. Just put yourself out there if you believe your invisible soon you will be.

 

You live in the best city in the best country in the world. Great things can happen but only if you let them. So put yourself out there, pinning for home will get you nowhere. Best of Luck.