Just cant settle in Oz and wanting to return.

[toxen]

Personally i'd look at giving it 1 year from when you arrived, not necessarily 1 year from now as that is still a long time frame. Giving it until nov this year is only 5 months..a smaller chunk to deal with. IMO

 

I say 12 months because itll allow me to think (feeling emotional, cant and dont think straight when im like this) through reasons for emigrating in the first place, try and be objective with settling in to Australia and give me time to decide on where I would want to live back in the UK and more crucially, save enough finances for all this. If I decide to return sooner than the 12 months is up, I would like to feel like I gave it my best go as I would not be returning to rry again. I don't know. .time will tell.

[Kempy]

I won a prestigious all expenses paid year long 'experience' to the hills of Adelaide when I was 21. It took months of interviews and hard work (much like getting that visa though!) everyone in the UK couldn't believe how lucky I was. I hated it. I was advised to stick it out for a year as its only a year and I did due to embarrassment of going back/letting people down but it is a regret of mine not taking control and coming back/moving on. It was such a miserable year. Life is too short.

 

Ironically now we want to move to Sydney. With the above experience in mind, (this time as I'll be with my husband and not alone) I know it will be tough at the start but I'm hoping for a different experience and aim to give it 18 months before deciding where our future lies.

 

Good luck!

[beach pig]

I won a prestigious all expenses paid year long 'experience' to the hills of Adelaide when I was 21. It took months of interviews and hard work (much like getting that visa though!) everyone in the UK couldn't believe how lucky I was. I hated it. I was advised to stick it out for a year as its only a year and I did due to embarrassment of going back/letting people down but it is a regret of mine not taking control and coming back/moving on. It was such a miserable year. Life is too short.

 

Ironically now we want to move to Sydney. With the above experience in mind, (this time as I'll be with my husband and not alone) I know it will be tough at the start but I'm hoping for a different experience and aim to give it 18 months before deciding where our future lies.

 

Good luck!

if you hated it then,then why the change in heart now .look it is not the army like you went AWOL.but do give it a second try you never know.good luck girl.i have stuck it out myself for seven years,only because of circumstances not because if any one thinks I am a failure.screw them

[brownsauce]

I can totally relate, I was only hours into our 'emigration' to Brisbane when the enormity of what we'd done hit me and just a few months later we went home. Not one person told us we had failed, they were all really supportive and congratulated us for giving it a go, something that most of them would only talk about and never do.

 

Having felt that we never gave it chance last time, this time round we said we'd give it a year in Perth and, of course, some people assumed we were emigrating again. We started off loving it, but once the novelty of the blue skies, turquoise seas and white sands had worn off we started discussing, several months in, whether we should go home when the year was up. It was a tougher decision this time, we've had a very different outlook and have had a fantastic experience but it's still not home to us and there's only so much you can do to try to integrate.

 

I'm sure no-one will consider you anymore of a failure for trying than they will for never having the courage to give it a go themselves. Hold your head high and do what's right for you, your child and your (mental) health and know that you're not alone.

 

Good luck

[grahamffc]

I came out here 18 months ago with the attitude of you only live once (or YOLO as the kids say), I am going back in two weeks with exactly the same mantra.

 

I know they'll be people that will say I'm mad but those will generally be of the profile that has never lived outside of the town they grew up in, have the daily mail telling them how Britain is 'going down the pan', and assume home and away is an accurate portrait of living in Australia. Quite frankly these opinions won't bother me in the slightest when I'm much happier and getting on with life.

 

I am however glad that I have been here long enough to feel settled enabling me to make an informed choice rather than feeling forced by homesickness, difficulty settling in, struggling to find work etc. If possible I'd suggest trying to stay at least a year, and a full summer. But if you really aren't happy then I'd refer back to my first point and do whatever makes you happy now.

[Lambethlad]

Give Melbourne a go if you can. It has a much nicer feel than Sydney. Good luck.

[starlight7]

When you come to Melb start in the Eastern suburbs- you would probably like this area more than some of the more industrialised areas.

[toxen]

I'm glad I've experienced Australia first hand and knowing my countdown clock is ticking away helps and yes, I only live once so I need to get over my negative feelings and prioritise me and my daughters happiness. @Lambethlad and @starlight7, I will be visiting Melbourne soon to check it out thanks.

[Zack]

There's nothing wrong with admiting your mistake.People will always think more about you for it.And the ones that love you,will be glad to see you and your daughter back home.

[nicola494]

Hi there, I'm also planning on emigrating as a single mum. I need to finish my nursing my degree yet it so it won't be until 2018. But I really hope you start to settle in and stay, it's an amazing country . If it helps, when I was 21 me and 2 friends went to australia on a working holiday, we were so lost and not really getting into it in the beginning, we came up with a plan to fly back and hide in London for a year so we didn't have to admit to people we came home lol. But that idea soon went and we started to have fun and enjoy the lifestyle. I myself am desperate to get back I really hope you settle in xxx

[Kempy]

if you hated it then,then why the change in heart now .look it is not the army like you went AWOL.but do give it a second try you never know.good luck girl.i have stuck it out myself for seven years,only because of circumstances not because if any one thinks I am a failure.screw them

 

I think I hated it because it was a total shock to what I was used to and expected. It was very remote and lonely with awful public transport and I was used to living with all my best friends in a bus/tube/shop every two minutes city at home. Was quite homesick. Now I've got a family, I'm looking for something different hence change of heart. I'd never do remote again (just not for me.)

 

I think it's great that the poster wants to try different cities - I hated remote Adelaide but adored Sydney personally (at a later date). Such a big country offering such different experiences so worth trying before heading home I think. I think even the people are different in each state?!

[sinob]

Good on you for doing something so brave! You should pat yourself on the back for emigrating as a single parent! I think you're brilliant! Don't give yourself a hard time. We all find it tough (even those of us who have settled). Sydney may not be the place for you. Australia is big enough that you have lots of choice. I love Adelaide but it's not for everyone - wonderful for kids though.

If you do end up going back after your 12 months, just tell them all what they want to hear: you missed them dreadfully. They will be flattered and think you so wise!!!

[Lambethlad]

When you are in Melbourne have a look at Mornington. It's a lovely seaside town where many Brit families choose to settle.

[PaulRaynor]

YOU ARE NOT A failure. you tried and under the circumstances you have achieved a lot more than the could of,should of,would of's.And those who knock you back home ask them have you tried it?good on ya girl

I agree. there will always be the knockers. There will be some who say "I think you are being very brave" when they really mean they think you are being really silly! they also say "Good luck in your NEW life" But its not a new life, its the same life with a new chapter on your journey, a positive journey. One that you can look back on and say I had a go. I know when I get home the adventure will continue.

[Lynne78]

It's good that you've decided to give it a go - only so you can tell yourself that you gave it your best shot, not so others will think you didn't fail from the get go. I agree with everyone else about you not being a failure if you decide to return. Unless they've tried it they have no idea what it's like. You mentioned them thinking that you didn't do your homework before you moved - I've read similar comments on here a lot. Many people seem to think that if you research absolutely everything then the move will be perfect - complete nonsense! You can do all the research you can but you will never be able to predict how you will feel when you are here or what your experience will be. Emigrating is like most things in life - you'll never know what it's like until you do it! At least, for most people, it is reversible. If it's not for you then go home, and if anyone says you're a failure then just tell them you'll consider their opinion once they've given it a go!

[mygirlies]

Hi Toxen I am also a single mum living in Aus and not happy about living here. Pm me if you want to chat x

[Marisawright]

You share what a lot of people feel, the embarrassment of returning early, this is why so many are stuck and unhappy in oz

 

I know what you mean - we've been debating about whether to move to Melbourne or go to the UK. In the back of my mind, one thing influencing my decision is that when telling people, I can present a UK move as an exciting adventure, whereas if I say I'm moving to Melbourne, I'll get a recital of Sydneysider prejudices. I have to keep reminding myself how totally irrelevant that is!

 

However, if I was truly miserable somewhere, there is no way I would let pride or embarrassment get in the way of moving - that's called "cutting off your nose to spite your face". I can understand people letting it hold them back for a while, but anyone who sticks something out for years, purely due to pride, has only themselves to blame.

[Marisawright]

Hello all.

I arrived in Sydney in November 2013 and soon after arriving, felt I had made a catastrophic mistake of emigrating and Australia was not the picture I had imagined. I have struggled adapting to the way of life here, don’t feel like I belong, feel incredibly homesick and miss the things I took for granted in the UK EVEN THE COLD WEATHER. ...

My problem is I think I should return to the UK but cannot come up with a reason to tell my family and friends there why I am returning so soon and feel very embarrassed about being a failure to such a catastrophic and expensive degree, confusion it’ll cause my daughter. I think I am willing to give Australia a few more months but over the last 2 weeks, I have found myself looking for reasons that people back home can sympathise with for my reason to return ( I really do not want to be seen as a failure as if I didn’t do my homework enough before emigrating). Ive thought of lying that I’ve been made redundant, I fell ill and couldn’t afford the medical bills……………………………..oh dear. I feel my Australian honey moon feeling ended as soon as I landed……..

 

I can understand that you'll feel embarrassed but you have a choice: sit here feeling absolutely miserable, or face up to a bit of embarrassment when you get home, and then get on with being happy.

 

Can I ask, what was the picture you imagined of Australia? Maybe if we know that, we can tell you whether there's anywhere that fits that picture. If it's sun and sand, then Queensland might be worth trying (though for me, the humidity is a killer). It's hard to get a feeling of "belonging" in a big city, where people keep to themselves a lot - so you might be better in a smaller place, if you can find work. If you don't mind cold weather, perhaps you should consider Hobart - much, much cheaper housing, beautiful scenery, a more laidback lifestyle and people are friendlier.

 

Or just go home. As greysky said, it sounds like you came to Australia running FROM something, not TO something. Could you say that after the breakup, you weren't thinking straight, you were too intent on escaping somewhere, but now you appreciate the value of your friends and family and that they are more important than a bit of sunshine.