brownsauce

I can totally relate, I was only hours into our 'emigration' to Brisbane when the enormity of what we'd done hit me and just a few months later we went home. Not one person told us we had failed, they were all really supportive and congratulated us for giving it a go, something that most of them would only talk about and never do. Having felt that we never gave it chance last time, this time round we said we'd give it a year in Perth and, of course, some people assumed we were emigrating again. We started off loving it, but once the novelty of the blue skies, turquoise seas and white sands had worn off we started discussing, several months in, whether we should go home when the year was up. It was a tougher decision this time, we've had a very different outlook and have had a fantastic experience but it's still not home to us and there's only so much you can do to try to integrate. I'm sure no-one will consider you anymore of a failure for trying than they will for never having the courage to give it a go themselves. Hold your head high and do what's right for you, your child and your (mental) health and know that you're not alone. Good luck

Thanks mkeeno, but after a lot of researching for one way travel insurance I found recommendations for insure4less.com and duinsurance.com who both cover for worldwide travel in emigration circumstances and repatriation to UK so I went with the cheapest quote for the cover I needed.

We've finally made the difficult decision to return home, it's been a really hard one to make, especially the days when the sky is that awesome shade of blue and we've had many sleepless nights and turnarounds, but in the end we've had to go with our heads. We've had an amazing time here and I'm sure there'll be some days we'll regret it, but there's no turning back now as our visa has expired and so once we leave the country that's it for us. Flights are all booked and we're going to do some travelling within Australia and a week in Bali before flying home to the UK. After doing it twice we've decided there's no way we'll do it all over again due to the stress, packing up, shipping costs, flights and all the other hidden costs such as hire cars, hotels, etc. It's really been a fantastic experience and we have no regrets in coming back for a second time, but this time round we accept that our home is in the UK. The only way I can think to explain how we feel is that it's like when you go on holiday - although you have a great time, you wouldn't necessarily want to live there for the rest of your days.

We've finally made the very difficult decision to return home. Can anyone recommend a travel insurance that will cover us for a 2 week trip in Australia, onto Bali for a week and then returning home to UK with a flight stopover please. Most policies only seem to cover residents if they are returning to Australia, but our residency has expired so will end once we leave the country and we'd really like to get travel insurance for Bali and the flight home. Thanks for any help you can give.

Hi Sulac, thanks for your post. I quite agree with you about feeling that it's always a case of living for the summer in the UK and also have found myself feeling a bit envious about the beautiful spring weather they've just experienced, but then it was back to normal dull weather yesterday and I try to remind myself of the terrible long wet winter and flooding they've just had too compared to the endless sunshine we've had. We got fed up with various planned events held near to us being cancelled pretty much every summer for years due to the rain, along with the depression and reality of the recession and resulting closures. I too was made redundant so appreciate what it's like. We pay half of what you do for rent, but it's all relative to area and then hubby earnings mean we're just about covering everything. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be any kids in the road where we are renting and we don't tend to see anyone around at all. There are some children to the back of us and they do frequently chat to them, but it's not the same as having their own friends round. Maybe I should write a note to a class friend for each inviting them for a playdate instead? The reality is that not everyone gets the opportunity to come to Australia and to be able to come here, especially on a second chance, is a real privilege so I know we have to give it our best shot and not give up too soon. I also appreciate that I'm very lucky to have a part time job with school hours as such jobs were like gold dust in the UK too, but I also gave and continue to give a lot a voluntary hours which is why I got it. If we move it means giving it up and looking again, but it's a sacrifice that I'd make and I'm a strong believer that there's always something better around the corner. That crystal ball would be handy though!

We're about 25 min from airport, but they seem to fly low over here following West Swan. In all fairness I'm happy with the school itself, the teachers my kids have had and the principal seem really great, I think the problem we've had is with the mixing up of classes (3 per classes per year) leading to them no longer being with friends they made when they arrived and making them feeling unsettled again. In some ways I think this is a good thing as if you've got disruptive kids that bounce off each other then in the UK all the kids are stuck with them throughout that school and here at least they can be separated into different classes each year. Unfortunately, there's also the high turnover of children that no-one can predict which seems to be a common occurrence all over Perth meaning they have also lost good friends. There is acreage not that far from here, but it's a bit out of our price range and neither of us feel that we know Australian creepy crawlies well enough to make such a move either. On arrival here we much preferred Perth to Brisbane and still do, it's got a really nice feel about it, we just can't get over some of the little things like we are used to having soil in the garden, over here everything is sand even under the lawns. We find ourselves feeling a bit sticky a lot, but maybe that is down to not understanding how much the aircon is likely to cost us and so we are being frugal with it in case we run up a 4 figure bill.

Thank you all for your kind replies, it has really given me a boost as it feels like a little support network. Some good points made too, I certainly wouldn't consider going back for a fave drink or food ever. We want to integrate, it's just harder than we thought. I suppose I thought that I would make friends easily in the playground and that hubby would make friends at work, but it's just so different and maybe if the kids had started in kindy/pre-primary it would've been as easy as joining pre-school/reception class in the UK when everyone was new at the same time, but they're Y2 & Y5 now. I did make a lovely friend within a few weeks, but unfortunately things didn't work out well for her hubby's job and they were staying with rellies here so they packed up and returned to their home after only a few months. My hubby is really unhappy in his job here too, so we think maybe a change would help there and if we have to pay back the relocation that's something we'll have to swallow. We don't just want to give up this time round, but I think we see it that the UK is the easiest escape route from reality for us. When we lived in Brisbane we lived in the Redlands area, it was an area I would recommend to people (if it's not drastically changed). This time round we live NOR in Perth and will maybe look SOR and although it means my changing jobs too, I'm not really doing what I want to do at the moment and there seem to be more jobs around for both our skill sets in that vicinity.

We are enjoying and making the most of our time here, sorry I should have made that clearer. It's the gap year we never had. There are lots of places to see and do just not sure yet that it's where we want to make our permanent home. We are considering other areas to look at and a new job for hubby before we give up as no chance we would be pinging or should that be ponging back this time should we leave. Plus if you hadn't already guessed I'm having a bad day with tearful kids and hubby with hypertension we think due to stress. It's all resulted in a tearful me today so have missed most of the rubbish stuff off about the UK. I suppose it's still relatively early days too as we've not done a year yet, but glad we have lasted longer than last time and have to remember that something drew me back to Australia. It's been therapeutic putting it into words and with your responses I'm feeling better as no-one has torn a strip off me (yet!). Funny how the universe works too; a mum that I hadn't seen for ages came up to chat to me at school pick up and then one of my kids said their friend wants a playdate so our mums can make friends! If you don't mind I would be interested in what you do/don't agree with as it could be useful for someone else.

I've been a long time lurker, but now we're thinking of going back I thought I'd share my experience. Disclaimer: this is my own personal view, opinion and experience. I hope this post will provide an insight into a least some useful information, but I would always recommend anyone try it for themselves if they are not sure rather than base their decisions on what does or doesn't work for me as after all Australia is only a day away (and a good few $$$$ of course)! When our first child was born we started to think maybe there was a better life down under, so we applied for a PR visa while I was expecting our second child and 8 years ago we ‘emigrated’ to Brisbane with a toddler and baby. I was really enthusiastic about our new life and happily did all the organising, applying for jobs for hubby, flights, short term let, hire cars, renting out our house, selling all our furniture, transferring all our money and shipping work tools and a few boxes of sentimental and baby stuff. Within a few hours of arriving at the short term let the enormity of what we had done hit me. Anyway we muddled along, but although I’d done loads of research before we came there were things I’d never considered. The first being that we’d no idea how the rental system worked in Australia. I’d managed to secure us a 3 week slot, in between bookings, in a short term let and with just 2 weeks left to go we were shocked to find that we couldn’t just go view properties without attending an open house, possibly alongside many other potential tenants. Fortunately, we were very lucky to get a house in the short time we had. Next we bought a car and hubby did the drive to work, it took him over an hour and a half to do the 25km and for the same pay as in the UK. By now we’d realised the cost of living was much higher than UK and worried how we’d manage long term, plus it was very stressful trying to kit out a house from scratch with 2 littlies in tow. Brisbane was far too built up for us, there were no groups within walking distance for my active toddler and although it has lovely parks, another thing I’d not realised during my research is that there are no beaches in the Brisbane area itself as it’s riverside. I was also suffering with a pregnancy related health problem that caused terrible pain and although was told this would disappear within a few months of giving birth, it didn’t and basically I couldn’t cope with 2 small children, became very depressed and as a result hubby wasn’t able start work, so we made the decision to return to the UK. Hubby left with a heavy heart, but I was happy. Life back in the UK was great for several years, hubby got his job back, the kids and I had a good support network of friends again, but one of the reasons we’d left in the first place was to get away from problem family. Time went by and we often discussed that maybe Australia would have worked out had I not been ill, the PR expired, but by now the happiness was being sucked out of us by family and the small mindedness of people in our village, everything was closing down around us and morale was really low at hubby’s work. Hubby’s workmate was off to Australia on 457, they were looking for others was he interested? We decided we would give it another shot, if we got RRV and here we are in Perth nearly a year on, we let our house out and had a relocation package that went towards some of our flights and shipping all our stuff and this time it’s for a minimum of a year. RRV has since expired so if we leave this time it’s game over and we are also meant to pay back the package if we stay less than 24 months. We don’t know what to do, we are so confused with many reasons to go and less to stay: 1) Climate We arrived in autumn and do enjoy getting up and seeing blue skies pretty much every day, but it can be very cold (as low as -1C/4C) in the mornings and evenings during spring, autumn and winter and a daytime 19C can feel very chilly, whereas 19C in UK would be a warm day. We’ve also even been caught out by how cold it can get outside in the middle of summer (Dec) when the sun has gone down, then there’s the frequent wind. The Freo Doctor as it’s known is supposed to be a refreshing afternoon breeze, but we often get fed up with being sandblasted on the beaches and being knocked down by the waves. Not so sure about the rip tides and sharks either, but apparently there’s more chance of being hit by lightning. When it rains (nowhere near as often as UK) during spring, autumn and generally winter it’s mostly torrential monsoon like rain, so pretty much forget popping on a mac or putting a brolly up if caught in it then it’s a soaking. Summer has been hot and rain free and reverse cycle aircon works well in the hot weather, but is akin to a car heater and dissipates in seconds when it’s cold. Poor insulation and no double glazing also make for a chilly house and being able to hear your neighbour’s washing machines, dogs barking, low flying planes heading for the airport at all hours, plus the howling wind that comes in from the desert most nights blowing things around backyards, rattling the windows and doors and keeping us awake. I should add that we are used to living on the outskirts of a village and are now living in the middle of suburbian new builds with tiny backyards and so feel a bit like caged hens. It’s nice to be able to plan a summer’s day out without fear of it being a washout, but is it enough - we have beaches within a short drive, but we’re all tiring of them now and there is the constant sun cream, sunglasses and sweat due to the intensity of the sun, brightness and heat. Sunburn and skin cancer are also a worry and some days it’s even too hot to want to go anywhere and I can honestly say I’ve never sweated this much and in places I never thought it even possible to sweat. The flies are also a big issue, wherever you go in Perth it seems, but especially in the national parks, although it is so nice not to be pestered by wasps as we were in the UK. We don’t have a pool, lots of people do here compared to Brisbane, but I’m not sure how many months they get to use them. Also great to get the washing dry on the line most days, though not always the case in the wintery months and we have had to dry it inside. On the downside we also have to constantly water the lawn and plants to stop and they are still all brown and crispy. I also miss the spring flowers and the birds feeding in the garden in the UK, there are galahs, etc here, but there’s nothing like the dawn chorus. Bush fires have been rife again this summer and we have had a lot that have been very close to us, mostly thanks to firebugs. It has been very scary smelling and seeing the thick black smoke and to see the spotter planes going over and the helicopters filling up at the local lakes. Some of these fires were very close to homes in an area we had looked at a display village. 2) Lifestyle The cost of living is much higher, petrol is cheaper and a few items are the same or less steak, wine, electronics, furniture, brand new cars, etc. The locals say WA thinks everyone works in the mines and it does seem that way. All hubby’s earnings go on rent, food, bills and petrol, we don’t have any money for savings. I am limited workwise because of childcare, but managed to find a little job to get me out the house, the pay is terrible and it just goes towards things for the kids or towards the cost of car maintenance which is expensive. Hubby could go FIFO, but we came here for a better life with more family time so what’s the point in that. We did as much research on area as we could before we came and chose a newer suburb based on what we could afford to pay and it’s suitability for our family. Renting is cutthroat here, we had a 6 week short term let, started rental hunting the day after we arrived and were prepared with everything a rental agent could ever ask for. We went to loads of open houses where agents were clearly giving others a wink and a nod. We were getting desperate in the end until we got in early, got an agent onside and got the wink and nod. We keep hearing of people being kicked out at the end of their tenancy for a higher rental income which is a worry and we looked into a mortgage, but even with the good deposit we would have from selling our house we would still be paying around the same as the rent, if not more, plus shire rates and water rates on top. The kids used to do various extracurricular sports and activities in the UK, but the cost here means pretty much adding an extra 0 on the end of the UK cost and so we can only afford for them to do one sport. One bonus is there’s lots of sport on TV that would be on Sky in UK, no TV licence either, but overall TV is not so great. There are lots of nice places to go and a good choice of indoor or outdoor activities, but there are no Tesco coupons or discount vouchers so going out to anywhere other than to the lovely beaches or parks can be costly. Groupon/Scoopon do have offers, but I've yet to find a discount for the zoo, etc. Overall infrastructure and facilities are good here, nice clean parks/beaches, places to fish, 4wd tracks, skateboard/bmx parks, fantastic libraries, clean streets and very little dog mess anywhere. Plenty of chances to see kangaroos in the regeneration areas too at dusk and dawn, but not so keen on finding red backs in the backyard not to mention the other spiders and coakroaches in the house. Fingers crossed we’ve not come across a snake as yet. Shopping malls are huge and plentiful, supermarkets have a more limited selection and I do miss doing it all in one store as the fruit and veg is so expensive in the supermarkets, so it’s a trip to both the veg shop and the bottle shop afterwards. We find our diet is more limited too, partly as we don’t want to eat traditional British winter warmers when it’s warm outside and as a consequence are becoming a bit bored of bbq food. The ham, bacon and sausages are awful, the fish and chips are nice in their own way, but they use frozen chips here. No pork pies here either and though pickle and brown sauce is available from the Brit shelf it’s really expensive. Frozen pizza is dearer too, but Dominoes sell $5 pizzas on certain days so that’s a winner. We really miss the UK pub culture and hubby misses decent beer as its all lager stuff here and he is bored of it now and prefers real ale or bitter. Go out for a meal here and the menu is often very limited and the prices can be eye watering. We have found a lovely BYO restaurant near us that serves really nice food for us and the kids and we do have a tavern, but it’s not the same. Christmas was spent on the beach, nice, but different and it just felt hollow to us. Lots of Christmas lights and Santas, but for us it was missing the atmosphere. We never spend Christmas with family anyway, but it just wasn’t the same. We did like having the long school summer holiday broken up by Christmas so that was good. Flying anywhere costs a fortune from here and we now appreciate the holidays that were accessible both financially and logistically from the UK that just aren’t doable for us here. Holiday resorts here are not like those we are used to and seem to totally lack in places to eat, general stores, things to do and sometimes even fuel stations. Of course, there is still the rest of Australia to explore and it's closer to Bali, Fiji, NZ, etc. 3) School The kids go to a public state run primary school there are 750 pupils and all of the public schools in this suburb are underperforming. The public secondary school has applied for 31 portable classrooms which is a shocking sign of oversubscription. They were supposed to be opening a new public secondary next year, but that keeps being put back, so we feel by the time it’s built our kids will more than likely have left school. We have to buy all their stationery supplies from the book list, which gets longer and more costly each year especially once they reach secondary level and there is a voluntary contribution per child on top. Books in general are also expensive here. It seems most of kids get themselves to school on their own at our school and there are even 6 yr olds walking 4 yr old siblings to school! We even know some that get themselves up, do their own breakfast, pack their own lunch and let themselves in to an empty house after school at the age of 7. Lots of these kids and younger ones can also be found running around the local park with no parental supervision whatsoever and most worryingly they have crossed busy main roads to get there. There is a high turnover of kids due to FIFO, etc and with more than one class per year the classes are mixed up at the beginning of each year and we’ve had plenty of tears from our usually confident children who were very unsettled by this. They like school “because it’s easier”, they do lots of sports and are able to play outdoors on the excellent play equipment most days. Their manners have deteriorated terribly, language here is coarse in general and at lunch there is no dinner hall so they sit outside the classroom on the floor to eat. The canteen serves junk food of the type served in a bag with no cutlery at a far greater cost than the far more nutritious school dinners served in the UK. 4) Friends We have found it easy to make and retain lots of friends in the UK over the years, but are all finding it difficult if not impossible to make friends here. Hubby’s workmates are half his age and have nothing in common, there is no interaction or atmosphere during breaks as they are all constantly playing on their phones. My 2 workmates have their own friends and make it very clear they’ve got busy lives. The mums that do bring their kids to school try to avoid any interaction and our kids have had no playdates. I can’t even arrange them to come to us as I just don’t know who their parents are to ask. I joined the P&C and help in the canteen, but when I did think I’d made friends they turned out to be users that wanted me to have their kids as their hubby’s work FIFO or they’re on their own and I’ve even been stitched up with dropping one girl home every day, yet never see her mum now. 5) Health We get bulk billing at the doctor we have seen, so we didn’t have to pay anything for that, but the cost of prescriptions are higher than UK and we have to pay for the kids prescriptions. They also seem to be a bit over the top in taking blood pressure and sent hubby for a CT scan when he had an ear infection, fortunately we found a bulk billed clinic for this or it would have cost around $500. I dread to think if we got really sick. Ambulance cover is a must and we were recommended to do a basic cheapie HBF insurance that covers for this, general dental and 2 other things that you can choose from eg optical and physio. We dread to think if the kids ever need braces as we are looking at $6-$12k each and they seem to be fitted with them at around 11, which I think seems young. It’s still going to be a very hard decision to make as there’s obviously stuff about the UK that’s not all rosy and things that are definitely good here, but time is running out on us as we need to start making plans for secondary school within the next year.