Those among us that would like to go home

[Guest mr nobody]

Thanks QPR - I hear you, but believe me, nobody has worked harder than me since I arrived.

[Guest siamsusie]

Arrived in QLD December 2009 with my little boy after the long and stressful sale of my business in the UK. My wife had come out around 3 months before to take up a job offer, thinking as we did at the time, that the business sale would be done and dusted in a few weeks. That should have been it - all our dreams as a family finally becoming a reality.

 

Strangely though, it's worked out to be a living hell. I can't seem to find a foothold for my new business - 4 months down the line I've done one piddly little job, and I've got a list of empty promises that would stretch to the horizon and back. Is this lack of sincerity, and dare I say it honesty, a part of Australian culture? I swear 'Aussie' businesses are getting the work 'cos they talk with the right accent and I don't.

 

I'm really concerned about the education system here as well. The curriculum seems to be YEARS behind the UK. My boy is really bright but I'm certain he is being so, so held back by doing maths and English that he learned three or four years ago.

 

And to cap it all, my wife has barely spoken to me since I arrived, announcing that she doesn't know how she feels about me any more.

 

We left England a bright, energetic, close and loving family. Just a few months down the line and it's hard to imagine how it could have gone any more wrong.

 

So here I am, stuck in a backward country with a broken family and no business. If anyone's reading this thinking about emigrating here, then for god's sake stay put.

Hi Mr N.:hug: Just the name makes me feel so sad, because your self esteem seems to be non existent. Its been said before how stressful emigrating is on anyone. Unfortunately if you have no family or friends support, then the strain put on you both is immeasurable. It is early days, but try and hang on in there, joining as many activities/volunteering etc and hopefully something will click and you can get the proverbial foot in the door.

Your wife "not talking to you" is probably her safety net, and seeing you miserable and distressed is having an adverse affect on her, she is more than likely suffering her own fears and anxiety.

Keep on chatting on PIO, there are many members to offer support and ideas , there are some wonderful members over in Queensland so hopefully for you some doors start to open.:hug:Susie

[sykestykes]

I agree with susie, Mr Nobody. Coming here and starting again is not for the faint hearted, and it can put immense strain on a family re-adjusting to everything.

 

Everyone in our little family unit was committed to coming here and making a go of things - and I was all set for the tears and upset I thought the kids would have to contend with when we got here. Guess what - it wasn't the kids who cried every day and yearned to go back - it was ME.

 

I have never in my life felt like I did in those early days here...isolated, upset and irrational, thinking "God, what have I done?" every day. These feelings were unwelcome, I didn't expect or want to feel like that and there's nothing anyone can do fo you except to sit and wait for you to come out the other side and adjust to your new surroundings.

 

I don't think it's fair to call Mr Nobody a whinging pom - I bet he didn't expect (or want) to feel like this either.

 

Mr Nobody, I know that jobs are hard to come by - I applied for so many admin/legal/finance jobs and my lowest point was getting knocked back for a shelf-stacking job in Woolies (nothing wrong with shelf-stackers, I applied to be one, before anyone comments!) but it's true that everyone is in the same boat and jobs are hard to come by generally - don't take it to heart, all you need is a good few customers to recommend you by word of mouth and you'll be up and running!

 

Keep talking to your wife, stress keeps you from saying things you each think the other doesn't want to hear...but it's best out in the open and then you can begin to work on it.

 

I wish you all the very best.

 

Sue x

[Skani]

Thanks QPR - I hear you, but believe me, nobody has worked harder than me since I arrived.

 

You don't mention what type of business you are in. It may be worthwhile doing so here, in case others with knowledge of that area can give any support or advice.

[Paul1Perth]

Thanks QPR - I hear you, but believe me, nobody has worked harder than me since I arrived.

 

It might be worth setting on an Aussie to work with you. If you know someone in the same business line it would help.

 

Once you get to know people you will be fine.

 

I think your wife probably got to enjoy her own space whilst you were apart. It certainly won't help your state of mind whilst she is not communicating.

[byrned]

Bloody hell, you've only been he five months (if that!), some people go on holiday for more than that? Not sure about the schools bit either, my little girl was one of only two white english in her class in London and they had to use some of the kids of polish extract that had been there for a few years to translate for the newer arrivals - don't get that in my daughters Aussie school. As for school standard, the Aussie one is right up there with the best in London, if not better!!

 

To many come to Aus thinking that all they have to do is just "turn up" and everyone will be throwing jobs and work at them - wake up. It's no diferent here than any other country, you want it, then you have to hunt it down and work at it, and it takes TIME!!

 

Every famaly is a team, and if you are coming out here, just makesure that every time members wants to come. If some don't want to make the move, then think long and hard before making the move, because if it don't go your way, then that's when the problems start

 

Winging Poms (and I'm a Pom!!)

 

This post is for people who would like to go home and share their problems with, not for people to stick the knife in, if some people are struggling and dont find oz to be the dream they thought it would be, its nice for them and helps them to come on here and write their problems down. as far as schools are concerned it works for some kids and not others depends where the kids went to school in england.

[Guest LongwayDown]

This is for Mr Nobody.

I congratulate you on being suspicious of Australia very early on. Ive been here 10 years and i can give you this advice. To say Closed Shop is an absolute understatement.

Pick up any newspaper and youll read a headline similar to ""Australia has chronic skills crisis, shortage of tradesmen and engineers, Rudd government sets about recruiting more migrants".

 

So why is it then that all doctors, hairdressers,Electricians,Plumbers,bricklayers,aircraft engineers consultants,architects etc are deemed not suitable for work?? Ask anyone of these people if there overseas qualifications are recognised?? The fact is a great number of skilled people arrive in the country only to be locked out of their industry due to draconian Australian regulations which are implemented to ensure that you dont take an Australian citizens job. Its almost impossible to work in lots of industries without an Aussie qualification. So what do you do retrain for 3 years in something you already know or drift out of the industry and get a low paid job(which is the positions that the Australian government really want filling) or go home.

If thats not bad enough, when you do get past a mountain of red tape, which you might not youll experience that this inferior citizen behaviour can continue in the workplace. Ive seen employment,overtime and all sorts of favourable conditions given to the locals. Thats not just my opinion either. But if you bring this matter to anyones attention you will be branded a whinging pome and should go home.

It wont be easy out here mate. If you want to stay and do a non skilled occupation then stay, but dont come here to make money.

If i were you i would think very carefully about your business aspirations as you may find it an expensive lesson.

[Guest mr nobody]

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post yesterday. You all have really useful and valid things to say.

 

From a business perspective, I have set up and run two successful companies in England so I am under no illusion about what it takes. What I have found here is that companies will talk to you, get quotes, get your ideas and then, after a couple of meetings and several phone calls, completely blank you. Will not talk to you on the phone, will not respond to voice mail and won't answer your emails. I have never ever encountered such a total lack of professionalism or integrity.

 

From a personal perspective, trying to get set up in business has been a steep climb to begin with. When your partner decides to treat you like a stranger for no apparent reason, it does pull the rug from under you and has a big negative effect on your self esteem. This makes the process of settling in and the already difficult task of establishing a business ten times more difficult, if not impossible.

 

From an education viewpoint, my son's schooling has taken a big backward step. He is studying things that he learned in England several years ago. That's just a plain, bare-arsed fact.

 

And one more thing - none of these issues made themselves apparent during our emigration planning or our recce visit.

 

Call me a whinging pom if that's what gets you off, but I know that I have put a huge amount of effort and finance into trying to make this work. I treat the people I meet with respect and dignity, I give my family my unbridled love and support and on the work front I treat people with professionalism and integrity.

 

But as far as I can tell right now, Australia is the road to ruin.

[Guest siamsusie]

Goodmorning Mr. N. What line of business are you in? you never know, there could be a friend of a friend who knows something , watching right now eh! Susie x

[Guest mr nobody]

Hi siamsusie - I'm in marketing communications - advertising, graphic design, marketing strategy.

[Paul1Perth]

Hi siamsusie - I'm in marketing communications - advertising, graphic design, marketing strategy.

 

I think it would be hard for anyone self employed, in that line of business to get a job. I don't think you're being harshly treated because your a pom. You would also need some sort of track record and a portfolio of jobs done in Australia to make winning work easier.

 

I would guess your competitors would already have a history and anyone looking at your bid and a competitor would go for the one with the most experience. That's business no matter where you live.

[Guest mr nobody]

Hi Longwaydown,

Much of your post really resonates with me. Interestingly my wife who is employed has also mentioned similar things like favourable overtime/shift patterns going to locals!

Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but I'm curious - what is it that's kept you here all this time?

[Guest siamsusie]

Hi siamsusie - I'm in marketing communications - advertising, graphic design, marketing strategy.

:hug:Lets hope that with much communication and getting to know other PIO members, you can come up with something Mr N. It's still very early days, positive thinking.:hug:susie

[heyyu]

I'm in marketing communications - advertising, graphic design, marketing strategy.

my daughter in law is in the same business she had to go to Melbourne from Brisbane for work,shes aussie

[Guest mr nobody]

Ouch!

[Guest LongwayDown]

re Mr Nobody without boring you with the full details my wife who is Aussie has a great job. She makes double what i do. So although i had a rough deal her wages still made it worth staying.

From my own personal circumstances i had to get a minister involved and threaten to inform the mass media if the local TAFES here didnt give me an equal opportunity. That worked but only after several years.

[Skani]

Hi siamsusie - I'm in marketing communications - advertising, graphic design, marketing strategy.

 

Would it be an option to gain work as an employee of another agency for a couple of years, then branch out on your own again once you had established a network of personal contacts?

[Guest QPR]

thats all you can do is TRY. What ever happens, you will one day look back at this journey and be thankful that at least you TRIED.

 

Good luck mate, just be sure that you have given it enough time?

[Guest QPR]

True, but what good does it do just "buttering the situation all up" and just saying things like you hope it all works etc, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a pop at other people trying to comfort and be caring in situations like this to Nobody and other people also in this situation, but Im trying to be real about this. I honestly hope it works out for Nobody, but anyone reading this thread who is still in the process of wanting to emigrate - my comments are really to make them be very aware of what thay are looking to do, something not for the faint hearted!!

[Guest mr nobody]

You're 100% right. Thanks QPR.

[Guest Julz]

I would love to go home......would even fly today if possible, but like many others circumstances mke it difficult. We've been here for 7 months now, I knew from week 9 that we had made a mistake and I would never settled here, my heart isn't in it and never will be. The homesickness I had bad at 9 weeks is returning again and I know it will stay with me until I'm home for good......I'm going back at x-mas with the kids and I cannot wait!

 

We live in Darwin and am sick of the sight of the sun, which is weird cause I used to love my Med holidays and lying in the sun all day long. There is more to life than sun and heat, like family, friends and watching my children play with their grandparents - how selfish of me to even think about taking my kids away from them in the last few years of their life, I will never forgive myself if anything happened to them before I returned.

 

My DH is on a 3 year contract and I'm willing to see it through but the thought of spending another 2 and a half years in Oz is crushing me, it's not such a long time really is it?

 

A win on the lottery would help, suppose we can always dream!!!

[Conniebygaslight]

I would love to go home......would even fly today if possible, but like many others circumstances mke it difficult. We've been here for 7 months now, I knew from week 9 that we had made a mistake and I would never settled here, my heart isn't in it and never will be. The homesickness I had bad at 9 weeks is returning again and I know it will stay with me until I'm home for good......I'm going back at x-mas with the kids and I cannot wait!

 

We live in Darwin and am sick of the sight of the sun, which is weird cause I used to love my Med holidays and lying in the sun all day long. There is more to life than sun and heat, like family, friends and watching my children play with their grandparents - how selfish of me to even think about taking my kids away from them in the last few years of their life, I will never forgive myself if anything happened to them before I returned.

 

My DH is on a 3 year contract and I'm willing to see it through but the thought of spending another 2 and a half years in Oz is crushing me, it's not such a long time really is it?

 

A win on the lottery would help, suppose we can always dream!!!

 

 

Oh Julz I really feel for you- it's so difficult when we make these moves with the best of intentions of giving our children a better life and opportunity but really the better life and opportunity already exists where we were. As parents we try to do what we genuinely believe in our hearts to be the right thing and someone always ends up getting hurt.

 

We have been here little over 3 months and know that we wont settle- the problem is all my husbands family are here and our middle child who is nearly 7 is relishing the time she is spending with her Nanny & Pop and I know that if we go back to the Uk she will very upset (they are both in mid 70's). My Husband and I think we will last to the end of the year at best but are really worried about our daughter and I feel so responsible and guilty because she never asked to come in the first place. We have no real family in the UK but lots of great and very old friends. Our other children age 4 and 8 would settle back in UK for sure ..such a dilema:no:

[Guest Girl]

I get what you're going through. But with me it's my parents who love it here and I hate it here, it's so different ( not in a good way), and I just miss home. I can't leave for about three years, and my parents are always trying to make me 'fit in' with their Australian friends kids and families, they keep enrolling me in things without asking my permission, including an open day for the local university!

 

 

Anyway, it sucks to be trapped somewhere and not be able to do something, but count yourself lucky in the fact that if you wanted to go badly enough, you could.

:hug:

 

Also, I have really fair skin and have had heatstroke uncountable times (even with sunblock) and mozzies really seem to like me. -Sigh-.

[Guest Perth Princess]

I would love to go home......would even fly today if possible, but like many others circumstances mke it difficult. We've been here for 7 months now, I knew from week 9 that we had made a mistake and I would never settled here, my heart isn't in it and never will be. The homesickness I had bad at 9 weeks is returning again and I know it will stay with me until I'm home for good......I'm going back at x-mas with the kids and I cannot wait!

 

We live in Darwin and am sick of the sight of the sun, which is weird cause I used to love my Med holidays and lying in the sun all day long. There is more to life than sun and heat, like family, friends and watching my children play with their grandparents - how selfish of me to even think about taking my kids away from them in the last few years of their life, I will never forgive myself if anything happened to them before I returned.

 

My DH is on a 3 year contract and I'm willing to see it through but the thought of spending another 2 and a half years in Oz is crushing me, it's not such a long time really is it?

 

A win on the lottery would help, suppose we can always dream!!!

My homesickness really kicked in at 9 weeks too. At least you have a plan to go back, I'm still working on it. Be happy that you can count down the weeks:wubclub:

[Conniebygaslight]

I get what you're going through. But with me it's my parents who love it here and I hate it here, it's so different ( not in a good way), and I just miss home. I can't leave for about three years, and my parents are always trying to make me 'fit in' with their Australian friends kids and families, they keep enrolling me in things without asking my permission, including an open day for the local university!

 

 

Anyway, it sucks to be trapped somewhere and not be able to do something, but count yourself lucky in the fact that if you wanted to go badly enough, you could.

:hug:

 

Also, I have really fair skin and have had heatstroke uncountable times (even with sunblock) and mozzies really seem to like me. -Sigh-.

 

Yes you are right we are fortunate that financially we can go back but emotionally it is very difficult for us to drag the kids away from this new family life they are enjoying.

 

I'm sure your parents are doing what they believe to be right and in your best interests and are really hoping you settle in-maybe you will, perhaps you wont. I really feel for you and hope things get easier for us all:hug: