bunbury61 Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Thank you for all your helpful responses. I have read them all and I agree with everything you say. Harpodom, you are certainly a voice of reason and I think you're absolutely right......to return would be madness and it may well drive me to madness. Imagine the pressure to be happy knowing we definitely couldn't return to the UK again! However we would never have left Australia to return to Cheltenham, we felt we were done with it here even though we weren't always satisfied with Australia. We always had this alternative plan in The back of our minds to live in Cornwall and I wish we had got that out of our system BEFORE we went to Australia......when we decided to come back to the UK it didn't feel like we were returning home because we were starting again in a new area of the UK...but once we found Cornwall was not for us, we just ended up back In Cheltenham by default and because we had really run out of energy. i understand what people are saying about me being chronically bored, I love being married with kids, it really is the best thing I have ever done, but there is a responsibility to stay still for 15 years to give some stability and I think this can give a feeling of being trapped...not trapped by having kids, but geographically trapped. I've always travelled and found it hard to give it up. The thing is eventually we would have needed to settle in one area in Australia for 15 years and those feeling of being trapped would have been present there too... In terms of "the daily grind" that's something that living in Australia did not fix....I remember thinking, it's not all surfing before breakfast, we still got to pay the bills, go to work, vacuum, pick up dog poo etc.. It's not so different to being in the UK in that sense on a daily basis! I just think things got muddled in our heads in Australia with this idea of Cornwall being an alternative, it sort of never allowed us to settle. But it was more complicated than that, and although there really were times when we didn't think we would return to the Uk, we did spend a lot of our time missing it, Blobby , I fully understand what you are going through , but whilst the kids are young , you have to batten down the hatches ....and take the pluses as we have .....YOU LOOK AT A MAP , AND TRAVEL WITH THE KIDS .....the best decision I ever made , weve had some bloody great times , sometimes on the cheapest holidays , its the time to build memories ...... That time between birth and 18 , is gone in the blink of an eye ....too late then for ...would have ...should have ...could have .... My eldest left home the other week , I didn't have one regret ....I gave her a big cuddle , and away she flew ..... You may be confused now , but you are geographically in the best place in the world for decent travel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 i understand what people are saying about me being chronically bored, I love being married with kids, it really is the best thing I have ever done, but there is a responsibility to stay still for 15 years to give some stability and I think this can give a feeling of being trapped...not trapped by having kids, but geographically trapped. I've always travelled and found it hard to give it up. The thing is eventually we would have needed to settle in one area in Australia for 15 years and those feeling of being trapped would have been present there too... I don't think you have to stay still for 15 years....moving around a lot works for some people. It just didn't sound like it was working for you. Personal opinion is once your kids get to 12-13, moving is going to impact on them a lot, either educationally or socially or both. So I won't be doing that. Works OK for some though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surf N Turf Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Hi Blobby, thanks for being so honest about the whole experience. I reckon your threads should be required reading for Brits moving here:) Despite being Australian I relate strongly to your experience. I started moving back and forwards with ping-ponging parents and continued as an adult. All through my 20's and 30's I was always in one place thinking about the other. U2's 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for' was my cliche back-packing anthem. The only things that have slowed me down are becoming a parent and wanting the stability for my child that I didn't have, hitting my 40s and becoming less tolerant of the incredible amount of stress that comes from international moves, and starting to rue the money I've spent on the whole spectacle. Unfortunately I've dragged a reluctant Brit into this life and so the turmoil continues As other posters have said, once you've got one country move under your belt I don't think you ever look at life back home the same way. Those that are purely grateful to be home are very very lucky. It's a lot more complicated for most of us no matter which way round the globe you moved. Just as you now suspect that trying Cornwall first would have given you a better shot at Oz, would finding a new, more satisfying version of the UK be the next most logical step? I agree with NSP, it's only the teenage moves that are brutal. The shuffling back and forwards in my early and primary years were a doodle. The one at 13 stuffed me right up. So IMO you have time before you need to commit to a place. So, dream on and work out where would suit your family best. (I strongly suspect it's not here You clearly have a need for more adventure. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Blobby- to a certain extent you may have that feeling you want to move/ live elsewhere for the rest of your life. When it gets too strong to bear- move again. It doesn't matter, so long as you have a loving family and stick together. Kids adjust, probably quicker than you would too. Financially - well who really cares, you are talking about first world countries after all, never that bad. I was talking to a cop the other day who is going to live in Bali with his wife but will fly back when he needs medical attention- easy done because it is so cheap to live there. Good for him- he was restless, like you and this is one solution for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Blobby- to a certain extent you may have that feeling you want to move/ live elsewhere for the rest of your life. When it gets too strong to bear- move again. It doesn't matter, so long as you have a loving family and stick together. Kids adjust, probably quicker than you would too. Financially - well who really cares, you are talking about first world countries after all, never that bad. I was talking to a cop the other day who is going to live in Bali with his wife but will fly back when he needs medical attention- easy done because it is so cheap to live there. Good for him- he was restless, like you and this is one solution for him. Fair comment Starlight ....I very strongly disagree with the " KIDS ADJUST " quote though .....they may outwardly adjust , but there can be a lot of emotional baggage being carried around . If you want me to pin it down .....I think moving a child once they have formed strong bonds can be damaging .....the teenage years as an approximation ....ive seen it first hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Fair comment Starlight ....I very strongly disagree with the " KIDS ADJUST " quote though .....they may outwardly adjust , but there can be a lot of emotional baggage being carried around .If you want me to pin it down .....I think moving a child once they have formed strong bonds can be damaging .....the teenage years as an approximation ....ive seen it first hand .......and that's your experience....perception.....and I would disagree...! ......I don't think it can always be damaging ....ime ......it may hurt.....for a good while.......and be challenging..... ......but if the next part of the journey is enjoyable....exciting and your encouraged to look forward.... ......it can be character building ...ime..... ......to be able to move on from strong bonds.....( made from 9 through till 13) ......to somewhere completely different..... ........with very little contact with the old.... ........can encourage new growth....new ideas and lifestyles ........an experience that can let you live a completely different way of life..... ........and embrace it..... ........also how to let go.....without feeling let down..... ..........we all experience things differently..... .........I moved my eldest at 6 and again at the end of primary.....he thrived.... .........my youngest at 4........then year 10........he struggled at the second move.... .........moving is a gamble..... ..........but then so's staying put.....IMO...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burnett Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 As a child, being wrenched from family and school-friends to come to Australia, was hard to cope with Once in Australia, our parents were always seeking greener grass. So more moves, more friends lost, more having to make new friends and get used to new (not necessarily better) places Siblings and I spent hours discussing why our parents were the way they were, did the things they did. We decided they were narcissists. It was all about them, their wants and fantasies took priority above everything else Children have to pretend they're coping when their parents move them somewhere new. Perceptive parents would work out how hard they're making their kids' lives, but selfish parents expect their kids to tough it out and adjust. Very often, those parents had stable backgrounds themselves Like my siblings, I left home early. We were sick of being dragged along in what felt like a travelling circus. Then, our parents claimed that by leaving home, we'd 'broken up the family'. My father admitted he 'just hadn't noticed time passing' and had been taken by surprise when my siblings and I left home. Of course he hadn't noticed. He and my mother were always chasing the dream, from here to there and back again Those who can't settle have problems of their own. Until they resolve their own problems, they shouldn't drag kids into the mix. Maybe they should remain childless. Those who already have children should accept their responsibility to provide a stable environment for their children. Damage caused by repeated moving around cannot be fixed later Needless to say, along with my siblings, I did all in my power to provide my own children with stability and continuity. And it was appreciated. They're free now to join the wanderlust club as adults, but it's not the option they've chosen Some parents behave as if they've never heard the adage: ' A rolling stone gathers no moss' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booma Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Hello We returned from Australia in December 2012 after 26 months living near Melbourne and in Torquay on The Great Ocean Road. Although we did many things in our time in Australia, we had generally negative feelings about it as a country and about our lives there. These feeling ebbed and flowed a bit but I think it's fair to say (and is reflected in my posts at the time) that I was mostly negative. We found some perspective on leaving and were able to be more pragmatic and left without any of the bitterness or anger that had been present during much of our stay. We moved back to the UK but instead of returning home we started another new life in Cornwall. In was awful and we left after 8 months and came back to live in our house in cheltenham. I returned to my old job. Mrs Blobby got a new job. Our boys aged 6 and 4 have really settled Into fantastic schools/preschools. we have bought a trailer tent to go off on holidays, we have a new puppy to go along with our ageing Retriever who had travelled to Australia and back with us. I'm on the verge of promotion at my work (just as I was when I left in 2010 and just as I was when I left Australia, but I never stayed still long enough!) The funny thing is when we talk about Australia, which seems to be getting more frequent we don't really talk about the endless boiling summers when we couldn't go outside, the terrible chicken in their takeaways, the terrible standard of rental property and the high interest rates which would have meant buying our dream home would always be very very difficult,. We don't talk about the appalling drivers, the way they treat their dogs, the poor standard of nursing, the racism, homophobia and general aggressive attitude of people. We don't speak much about the difficulty in making new friends or the overwhelming feeling of misery at Christmas! Good Lord no.... We talk about the fact we don't really have the time to spend with many of our friends. I don't particularly want to spend my days off drinking down the pub with my mates I would rather spend the time with my young family. We tire of the competitive nature of parents in the school playground. Many of the actual things and places that I really missed when in Australia when I now revisit I have this overwhelming feeling that I have done this all before. We are skint, just as we were when we left the UK, and, for the next 20 years at least, that isn't going to change. We look back on Australia and miss the opportunities, the sense of freedom that meant we felt we could do whatever we wanted with our lives. And it was nice not to work for the NHS and to finally have some money! Holidays in Bali, Sydney, W.A, anywhere we wanted really......and I could murder a flat white! Even if we could afford to go back to Australia it would be completely unfair on our children, and our wider families who have been very pleased to have us back and are all getting old (although we don't live near hem and don't see them all that often). Returning would mean selling the house, and putting everything in One Australian basket.....and, when we got there, can I be sure we wouldn't be focussing on the terrible chicken in the takeaways? In truth, although our lives are really quite good, we don't really feel like we belong anywhere anymore! i read this post & some of your others & you remind me of me. i happily moved to oz but didnt settle. i was miserable & made everyone around me miserable to. went back to uk but didnt settle & felt like a total failure. realised i spent my time in oz looking for faults instead of enjoying the differences. back in oz now & happy as. only difference is my attitude. good luck whatever you do but dont be surprised when you realise the problem is you & not oz or the uk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Very interesting reading this thread. There's obviously no right or wrong answer in general: there are clear benefits to providing stability for your children, as there are to encouraging resilience in them. But only blobby and mrs blobby know what is best for their family at this time in their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surf N Turf Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 As a child, being wrenched from family and school-friends to come to Australia, was hard to cope with Once in Australia, our parents were always seeking greener grass. So more moves, more friends lost, more having to make new friends and get used to new (not necessarily better) places Siblings and I spent hours discussing why our parents were the way they were, did the things they did. We decided they were narcissists. It was all about them, their wants and fantasies took priority above everything else Children have to pretend they're coping when their parents move them somewhere new. Perceptive parents would work out how hard they're making their kids' lives, but selfish parents expect their kids to tough it out and adjust. Very often, those parents had stable backgrounds themselves Like my siblings, I left home early. We were sick of being dragged along in what felt like a travelling circus. Then, our parents claimed that by leaving home, we'd 'broken up the family'. My father admitted he 'just hadn't noticed time passing' and had been taken by surprise when my siblings and I left home. Of course he hadn't noticed. He and my mother were always chasing the dream, from here to there and back again Those who can't settle have problems of their own. Until they resolve their own problems, they shouldn't drag kids into the mix. Maybe they should remain childless. Those who already have children should accept their responsibility to provide a stable environment for their children. Damage caused by repeated moving around cannot be fixed later Needless to say, along with my siblings, I did all in my power to provide my own children with stability and continuity. And it was appreciated. They're free now to join the wanderlust club as adults, but it's not the option they've chosen Some parents behave as if they've never heard the adage: ' A rolling stone gathers no moss' We should compare notes! Although I suspect you'd win the hardship factor as I consider my parents restless and adventurous rather than narcissists. But like yours, equally deluded about the difficulties their choices made for my brother and I. I do think there's a middle ground. My mothers sister married, bought a house in a small village in the midlands and raised two children who, to this day, have never lived anywhere else. One cousin is raising her family next door and the other has never married and still lives with his Mum. To me, and possibly only to me, there is a bit of a 'failure to launch' going on here. I want my daughter to have a sense of belonging, which I've recently realised I will never have, but also to seek out adventures and to feel confident to explore and try out different places and lifestyles. Does that happen if your roots are too firmly planted? I don't know but I don't want the pendulum to swing so far in my own life that she never leaves our suburb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 As a child, being wrenched from family and school-friends to come to Australia, was hard to cope with Once in Australia, our parents were always seeking greener grass. So more moves, more friends lost, more having to make new friends and get used to new (not necessarily better) places Siblings and I spent hours discussing why our parents were the way they were, did the things they did. We decided they were narcissists. It was all about them, their wants and fantasies took priority above everything else Children have to pretend they're coping when their parents move them somewhere new. Perceptive parents would work out how hard they're making their kids' lives, but selfish parents expect their kids to tough it out and adjust. Very often, those parents had stable backgrounds themselves Like my siblings, I left home early. We were sick of being dragged along in what felt like a travelling circus. Then, our parents claimed that by leaving home, we'd 'broken up the family'. My father admitted he 'just hadn't noticed time passing' and had been taken by surprise when my siblings and I left home. Of course he hadn't noticed. He and my mother were always chasing the dream, from here to there and back again Those who can't settle have problems of their own. Until they resolve their own problems, they shouldn't drag kids into the mix. Maybe they should remain childless. Those who already have children should accept their responsibility to provide a stable environment for their children. Damage caused by repeated moving around cannot be fixed later Needless to say, along with my siblings, I did all in my power to provide my own children with stability and continuity. And it was appreciated. They're free now to join the wanderlust club as adults, but it's not the option they've chosen Some parents behave as if they've never heard the adage: ' A rolling stone gathers no moss' Burnett ,.....the best post I have read on here for a while ....thank you .....I cant go into to much detail ....but if you dig deep with some of these kids ( who are now adults ) ...out comes the anger and the tears ...I will leave lt at that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 We should compare notes! Although I suspect you'd win the hardship factor as I consider my parents restless and adventurous rather than narcissists. But like yours, equally deluded about the difficulties their choices made for my brother and I. I do think there's a middle ground. My mothers sister married, bought a house in a small village in the midlands and raised two children who, to this day, have never lived anywhere else. One cousin is raising her family next door and the other has never married and still lives with his Mum. To me, and possibly only to me, there is a bit of a 'failure to launch' going on here. I want my daughter to have a sense of belonging, which I've recently realised I will never have, but also to seek out adventures and to feel confident to explore and try out different places and lifestyles. Does that happen if your roots are too firmly planted? I don't know but I don't want the pendulum to swing so far in my own life that she never leaves our suburb! S and D iam sure your daughter will do just fine , I read your posts ....you have your head screwed on ....best of luck ....the only advice I can give , from someone coming out the other side ....between 5 and 18 ( approx. ) ,,,,you have to plant yourself ...give them love , security , and a shared interest ....the fact that they know you love them unconditionally is 99 % of it though What good is all the big house , boat and new car malarkey ...if you aint there ....and you are too busy working ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 As a child, being wrenched from family and school-friends to come to Australia, was hard to cope with Once in Australia, our parents were always seeking greener grass. So more moves, more friends lost, more having to make new friends and get used to new (not necessarily better) places Siblings and I spent hours discussing why our parents were the way they were, did the things they did. We decided they were narcissists. It was all about them, their wants and fantasies took priority above everything else Children have to pretend they're coping when their parents move them somewhere new. Perceptive parents would work out how hard they're making their kids' lives, but selfish parents expect their kids to tough it out and adjust. Very often, those parents had stable backgrounds themselves Like my siblings, I left home early. We were sick of being dragged along in what felt like a travelling circus. Then, our parents claimed that by leaving home, we'd 'broken up the family'. My father admitted he 'just hadn't noticed time passing' and had been taken by surprise when my siblings and I left home. Of course he hadn't noticed. He and my mother were always chasing the dream, from here to there and back again Those who can't settle have problems of their own. Until they resolve their own problems, they shouldn't drag kids into the mix. Maybe they should remain childless. Those who already have children should accept their responsibility to provide a stable environment for their children. Damage caused by repeated moving around cannot be fixed later Needless to say, along with my siblings, I did all in my power to provide my own children with stability and continuity. And it was appreciated. They're free now to join the wanderlust club as adults, but it's not the option they've chosen Some parents behave as if they've never heard the adage: ' A rolling stone gathers no moss' END OF QUOTE I think you make some valid points. However I think there are many factors that make up a stable childhood. Being loved is obviously the most important thing and having parents that stick together and get along well is really useful too. I think we have done damage In Two ways with our ping pong. Our older child missed out on 4 terms of education so started school(in UK) 4 terms late. He then had a substandard 2 terms in Cornwall so effectively missed 2 years. Now he is in a fantastic school but when he arrived he was massively behind. Don't get me wrong, me and mrs blobby won't be setting the world on fire with our wisdom, but it's fair to say we are both of an average intelligence and would have expected our kids to have been at least middle of their class based on genetics. Our son was behind in everything. He's only 6 and he loves school and he's catching up but this was a massive downside to our adventures. The other factor is we could have a 40k less mortgage and be working a bit less. having said all that, our kids loved the adventure. Although it will fade from their memories I'm sure. Once our oldest has caught up in School, I think the other factors in their stable life would make another move not entirely unacceptable. However I couldn't assure anyone that the next move would 100% be the last move and I think that's what makes another move unfair. Our oldest has been to five schools now and he is 6 (Including preschool). The result is that he is not fazed by anything, he makes friends easily and he's incredibly sociable (far more than I was in my ultra-stable upbringing). So there are advantages for kids in moving too in some respects. i don't know how old you were when you were pretending to be happy. But that's a concept far removed from a 6 year old. Believe me, out kids tell us when they are pissed off and they are very clear about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Without going into too many details, I had anything but a stable childhood. Father in army, parent break up, age 9, pretty unusual in the 1950's and 5 different primary schools. surprise surprise I passed 11 + in those days, top grammar school, so although I might have had hang ups!! Life had to be lived, and it was up to me whether to blame everything on my upbringing, or just get on with life. Obviously not wishing this on any one else, but just because childhood isn't idealic, it is up to the individual what they make of life. Blobby you obviously adore your children and I'm sure whatever you decide that will be the most important constant in their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I think you make some valid points. However I think there are many factors that make up a stable childhood. Being loved is obviously the most important thing and having parents that stick together and get along well is really useful too. I think we have done damage In Two ways with our ping pong. Our older child missed out on 4 terms of education so started school(in UK) 4 terms late. He then had a substandard 2 terms in Cornwall so effectively missed 2 years. Now he is in a fantastic school but when he arrived he was massively behind. Don't get me wrong, me and mrs blobby won't be setting the world on fire with our wisdom, but it's fair to say we are both of an average intelligence and would have expected our kids to have been at least middle of their class based on genetics. Our son was behind in everything. He's only 6 and he loves school and he's catching up but this was a massive downside to our adventures. The other factor is we could have a 40k less mortgage and be working a bit less. having said all that, our kids loved the adventure. Although it will fade from their memories I'm sure. Once our oldest has caught up in School, I think the other factors in their stable life would make another move not entirely unacceptable. However I couldn't assure anyone that the next move would 100% be the last move and I think that's what makes another move unfair. Our oldest has been to five schools now and he is 6 (Including preschool). The result is that he is not fazed by anything, he makes friends easily and he's incredibly sociable (far more than I was in my ultra-stable upbringing). So there are advantages for kids in moving too in some respects. i don't know how old you were when you were pretending to be happy. But that's a concept far removed from a 6 year old. Believe me, out kids tell us when they are pissed off and they are very clear about it! Please don't worry too much about your son. We came back from Perth when our daughter was at the same stage. She'd missed the whole reception year and her first year back wasn't the best. However, she's taking her GCSEs this time and predicted good grades (and we had another year in Aus when she was 10/11), so they do manage to catch up. If there seem to be any gaps in his learning you could always employ a tutor to help in the future. Don't underestimate just how much they'll remember of their adventures either - ours remember loads :smile: and they're all outgoing, sociable and able to talk to anyone. So much depends on the child and how you manage your moves. I lived in one house all my childhood and I don't think it gave me any more stability. It was only when I left that I developed the skills my children have had since they were small. Swings and roundabouts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttercup Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Good to see you back on the forum Blobby. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Good to see you back on the forum Blobby. :wink: Thank you, nice to to be back....although I try not to hang around too long each time it's nice to keep in touch and get free therapy! hows things for you and your family in England? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Without going into too many details, I had anything but a stable childhood. Father in army, parent break up, age 9, pretty unusual in the 1950's and 5 different primary schools.surprise surprise I passed 11 + in those days, top grammar school, so although I might have had hang ups!! Life had to be lived, and it was up to me whether to blame everything on my upbringing, or just get on with life. Obviously not wishing this on any one else, but just because childhood isn't idealic, it is up to the individual what they make of life. Blobby you obviously adore your children and I'm sure whatever you decide that will be the most important constant in their lives. Thanks, very kind of you. My wife also had a very unstable childhood and she's largely unaffected by it. I was very lucky but I do think it's up to the individual if they want to blame their parents for the rest of their lives (although there are obviously some instances when this would be inevitable unfortunately) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttercup Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Thank you, nice to to be back....although I try not to hang around too long each time it's nice to keep in touch and get free therapy! hows things for you and your family in England? Yeah, not bad thanks. Has taken a while to get settled but its been over two years now. I read your post and again, could relate to some of the things you've said. On the whole we like being back. I went back to my old workplace (different dept) and as much as I enjoy my job, it makes my blood boil to see what is happening to the NHS. Some days it's truly soul destroying. Mental Health- the Ironocy? it's very sad and I feel for the patients. I will be first in the queue on election day. How's you and your gang? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flake Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I moved to Aus in 2009, I spent nearly 3 years longing to return to the UK where I felt I 'belonged' only to return and INSTANTLY realise we had made a terrible mistake!!!! Now I look back I honestly can't believe I didn't realise what I had in Aus! Great money, great standard of living, freedom! Luckily for me, my husband is an Aussie and so we have more freedom to return but it has cost us, not just in £/$ but emotionally speaking too. We have had to stay here for at least a couple of years so that it would affect job history etc. but now the return is in sight, and I know for sure we will never look back. Its been hard, as like you my family were thrilled to have me back and now have to deal with me leaving again but there is no question about it being the right thing to do. i know I will miss aspects of the UK upon returning to Aus it's natural, but he difference is I will appreciate all that Aus has to offer in my second chance. Never say never as one day you may wake up knowing exactly what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine111 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Hello We returned from Australia in December 2012 after 26 months living near Melbourne and in Torquay on The Great Ocean Road. Although we did many things in our time in Australia, we had generally negative feelings about it as a country and about our lives there. These feeling ebbed and flowed a bit but I think it's fair to say (and is reflected in my posts at the time) that I was mostly negative. We found some perspective on leaving and were able to be more pragmatic and left without any of the bitterness or anger that had been present during much of our stay. We moved back to the UK but instead of returning home we started another new life in Cornwall. In was awful and we left after 8 months and came back to live in our house in cheltenham. I returned to my old job. Mrs Blobby got a new job. Our boys aged 6 and 4 have really settled Into fantastic schools/preschools. we have bought a trailer tent to go off on holidays, we have a new puppy to go along with our ageing Retriever who had travelled to Australia and back with us. I'm on the verge of promotion at my work (just as I was when I left in 2010 and just as I was when I left Australia, but I never stayed still long enough!) The funny thing is when we talk about Australia, which seems to be getting more frequent we don't really talk about the endless boiling summers when we couldn't go outside, the terrible chicken in their takeaways, the terrible standard of rental property and the high interest rates which would have meant buying our dream home would always be very very difficult,. We don't talk about the appalling drivers, the way they treat their dogs, the poor standard of nursing, the racism, homophobia and general aggressive attitude of people. We don't speak much about the difficulty in making new friends or the overwhelming feeling of misery at Christmas! Good Lord no.... We talk about the fact we don't really have the time to spend with many of our friends. I don't particularly want to spend my days off drinking down the pub with my mates I would rather spend the time with my young family. We tire of the competitive nature of parents in the school playground. Many of the actual things and places that I really missed when in Australia when I now revisit I have this overwhelming feeling that I have done this all before. We are skint, just as we were when we left the UK, and, for the next 20 years at least, that isn't going to change. We look back on Australia and miss the opportunities, the sense of freedom that meant we felt we could do whatever we wanted with our lives. And it was nice not to work for the NHS and to finally have some money! Holidays in Bali, Sydney, W.A, anywhere we wanted really......and I could murder a flat white! Even if we could afford to go back to Australia it would be completely unfair on our children, and our wider families who have been very pleased to have us back and are all getting old (although we don't live near hem and don't see them all that often). Returning would mean selling the house, and putting everything in One Australian basket.....and, when we got there, can I be sure we wouldn't be focussing on the terrible chicken in the takeaways? In truth, although our lives are really quite good, we don't really feel like we belong anywhere anymore! havent been on this forum for ages. Been back 3yrs in August. Feeling the itchy feet again, think it's true once you've moved once, that's it! Also think it's easy to look through rose tinted glasses. (Do it all the time) we came back for the kids who have settled well & have a fab friends base. Older one would be devastated even considering it!! Extended family been a nightmare, caused a lot of heartache & hubby & I realise d we didn't think about how we were going to benefit from the move , which down to a lack of planning on our part. But something we are working on! I think it's a5yr plan, so another x2 & we should be there. Is hard bringing up a young family where ever you are in the world. One things for sure anything is possible when you've uprooted yourself not once to oz but coming back to the U.K. Takes courage & determination. Make a short & long term plan & for you as well as the kids. Think we should have a separate forum for the displaced!! Ha! Post return!! Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toussaint Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Hello We returned from Australia in December 2012 after 26 months living near Melbourne and in Torquay on The Great Ocean Road. Although we did many things in our time in Australia, we had generally negative feelings about it as a country and about our lives there. These feeling ebbed and flowed a bit but I think it's fair to say (and is reflected in my posts at the time) that I was mostly negative. We found some perspective on leaving and were able to be more pragmatic and left without any of the bitterness or anger that had been present during much of our stay. We moved back to the UK but instead of returning home we started another new life in Cornwall. In was awful and we left after 8 months and came back to live in our house in cheltenham. I returned to my old job. Mrs Blobby got a new job. Our boys aged 6 and 4 have really settled Into fantastic schools/preschools. we have bought a trailer tent to go off on holidays, we have a new puppy to go along with our ageing Retriever who had travelled to Australia and back with us. I'm on the verge of promotion at my work (just as I was when I left in 2010 and just as I was when I left Australia, but I never stayed still long enough!) The funny thing is when we talk about Australia, which seems to be getting more frequent we don't really talk about the endless boiling summers when we couldn't go outside, the terrible chicken in their takeaways, the terrible standard of rental property and the high interest rates which would have meant buying our dream home would always be very very difficult,. We don't talk about the appalling drivers, the way they treat their dogs, the poor standard of nursing, the racism, homophobia and general aggressive attitude of people. We don't speak much about the difficulty in making new friends or the overwhelming feeling of misery at Christmas! Good Lord no.... We talk about the fact we don't really have the time to spend with many of our friends. I don't particularly want to spend my days off drinking down the pub with my mates I would rather spend the time with my young family. We tire of the competitive nature of parents in the school playground. Many of the actual things and places that I really missed when in Australia when I now revisit I have this overwhelming feeling that I have done this all before. We are skint, just as we were when we left the UK, and, for the next 20 years at least, that isn't going to change. We look back on Australia and miss the opportunities, the sense of freedom that meant we felt we could do whatever we wanted with our lives. And it was nice not to work for the NHS and to finally have some money! Holidays in Bali, Sydney, W.A, anywhere we wanted really......and I could murder a flat white! Even if we could afford to go back to Australia it would be completely unfair on our children, and our wider families who have been very pleased to have us back and are all getting old (although we don't live near hem and don't see them all that often). Returning would mean selling the house, and putting everything in One Australian basket.....and, when we got there, can I be sure we wouldn't be focussing on the terrible chicken in the takeaways? In truth, although our lives are really quite good, we don't really feel like we belong anywhere anymore! Jees, I don't think OZ ever was, or will be the place for you. I think your in the right place now if your so easily affronted . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Jees, I don't think OZ ever was, or will be the place for you. I think your in the right place now if your so easily affronted. What do you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toussaint Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 What do you mean? Well, I was being a bit obnoxious really, so apologies for that. I have been back in the UK 3 and a bit months, I didn't see me returning for a few years but various events and minor catastrophes made for a quick decision to bail. I can see the merit and painful sides to both countries. What seems to be rearing its ugly head again in the UK at the moment is over zealous political correctness. So my blood was already boiling when the BBC stated as a main news item - shock horror, school boards of governors tend to be white middle class, an elderly BBC DJ gets sacked for for playing a vintage record with the N word in it, Clarkson is put on his last warning, two policemen turn up to my construction site to investigate report that a nesting blackbird had been trapped in the building (it had not), and I get sent on a driver reprogramming brainwash because I dared to drive at 6 MPH over the speed limit. i could go on and on. I would much rather be living amongst 'ists and 'phobes, if for no other reason you are allowed the freedom to be whatever and say whatever in OZ. I would choose be offended than live in fear of big brother. Australia is Australia, you should have had some awareness of the culture before you went? Its a very tough country built on the back of a very tough environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 I'm not sure I could have known what it would feel like to live there until I lived there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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