backpack Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm an Aussie who's come back from the UK after working there for the last 3 years. I stumbled across these forums during one night of aimlessly searching on the internet because I feel like only other people who have have hauled themselves halfway around the world to start a new life can really understand the confusion and sadness that I'm feeling... In my day-to-day life here in Sydney, I seem polite, cheery and laid-back when I'm out and about, but at home late at night, I often find myself unable to sleep and wishing I were somewhere else. After having seen a bit more of the world and lived in the madness known as London, I realise more than ever that Australia is a country that is luckier than most and I should be grateful(and I am!). But so many of the people I know here are so smug, mean and aggressive about living in their own little bubbles, and are always dismissive of the time I went to live and work in the UK as a "silly phase", and simply won't accept that things aren't 100% perfect here in Sydney. They even point out that a lot of Brits come here and me having done the reverse was a dumb waste of time. Every attempt at discussion about things that bother me about the Sydney like the trains, the coward-punchers ruining the nightlife, the Coles-Woolies duopoly, overpriced yet poor value clothes and housing, etc. - well, all those conversations have ended in them saying "well, if you don't like it, get the f*** out". :arghh: (I am in the process of looking for new friends, lol. Family sadly can't be replaced *sigh*) Sorry everyone, this is really just me whinging and venting because I'm often censored by friends and family in real life!! Like I'm just supposed to shut up, nod and agree that Sydney is #1 in the whole wide world because all those magazines sayyyyy soooo... :frown: I understand that being reminded about the bad things in your hometown is not a pleasant topic of conversation for many, but I'm not rude about it real life. Like if you ever saw me, you'd see that I'm a timid little thing who just wants a bit of discussion and constructive criticism, but apparently that is simply not acceptable for the people around me. I've never been a beach bunny... I always dash indoors after 15 minutes when the unrelenting sun is out, and hide behind the curtains and switch the aircon on. I find myself often praying that winter would come already, or daydreaming about moving to Melbourne, Tasmania and even New Zealand... or going back to the UK(I have a valid visa to do so)... I mean, of course I don't wish to be literally flooded underwater like what's happening in the UK right now, but the cold and the grey of typical London days rarely bothered me - I went out for long, leisurely walks there much more often than I do here... However, the 2 things that make me most hesitant about going back to the UK: 1. parents: they're getting on in years and aren't as sprightly as they used to be, so I'm uncomfortable with the thought of being 20 hours and whole other continents and oceans away - they're very anxious about me going again and are begging me to stick around 2. money: I've been doing sums on a spreadsheet and I always come out as better off financially here, especially in terms of take-home pay, jobs available, expenses and being able to put aside more to grow investments, buy a home and secure my future. So I came back to Australia because to be closer to family and because I don't want to be a broke bum living from paycheck to paycheck and would actually like to be able to retire before I 'm 70 or 80 or whatever ridiculous age they change it to. But other than maybe two of my old school friends who actually seem to care and want to listen to my feelings, I feel rather frustrated and unhappy in Sydney. As that tired old internet meme goes - "First World problems!". Like I know things are just as bad or worse in other big cities, but I know deep in my heart that Sydney just is not my cup of tea - it has never been! I've made an effort to live it up here, volunteered for charity, joined clubs, enrolled in classes, etc. I've met good people but they always seem to move overseas eventually(!) while the not-so-great ones stick around... I have even tried moving to different suburbs north, east, west and south of Sydney but no matter what, I've always felt unsettled. I found some old diaries of mine and rediscovered that even as a teenager, I had pined to go elsewhere... During my time away in the some of the more suburban and quieter areas of London and in smaller cities like Edinburgh and Brighton, I've had more of those "oh, I think I could live here forever" sort of moments than I ever did in Sydney. I worked in Melbourne for a short little while on an assignment(no more than 2 weeks), and really liked it there. I liked the layout, the trams, the vibe and people there just seemed so much friendlier. However, it was 7 years ago, so I don't know.... maybe it's not like that anymore? Is it still a viable alternative for me? Does anyone here have any advice? I really respect the journeys and the efforts to find a happier life that the posters here have done... Would really appreciate to hear your thoughts and experiences... - from someone who's supposedly "home" but is more lost than ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Can you afford to take a sabbatical from whatever you are doing and travel a bit around Australia? Perhaps go to Melbourne for a few months, do some temping, flatshare or something, see if that suits you better? At least then you won't be on the other side of the world from your parents. From my - admittedly very small but bear with me - experience, the cities around Australia are very different both in character, and in the sort of people that live there. I love Sydney to visit for instance, but don't know if I could live there. Oh and here is a good place to come to join us whinging poms without worrying too much about offending people (too much)! Everyone needs an anonymous sounding board now and again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatDane Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 how old are you? maybe your getting p!ssed days aren't over. that part needs to be beaten out of the system, hard. i can't wait to move to Sydney. London has become a right sh!thole and i wouldn't even consider moving to the home counties. commuting here is a farce. Oz is the way forward. no wonder everyone wants to move there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 You articulate what many generations of Aussies have felt after their travels. Perhaps you are not ready for the conformist prevailing attitudes of OZ? Earning more hardly makes up for what you feel you are missing. London has the advantage of never knowing what's around the corner. Why not try Amsterdam, Berlin or somewhere else. So is so much more out there. I hope you are able to follow your chosen path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 how old are you? maybe your getting p!ssed days aren't over. that part needs to be beaten out of the system, hard. i can't wait to move to Sydney. London has become a right sh!thole and i wouldn't even consider moving to the home counties. commuting here is a farce. Oz is the way forward. no wonder everyone wants to move there Sydney isn't a lot of fun without a good income either. Actually some 95,000 folk vacated OZ on a permanent basis last years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Have you friends/family lived outside of Australia for as long as you have? Maybe they just are ignorant by lack of knowledge about life in other countries. Maybe they don't wish to leave oz...maybe they are financially very comfortable and don't wish to leave oz due to financial stability (often through parents I have found in oz) and expand their horizons?? I'm not saying travelling living overseas does expand your horizons but generally it does open your mind up. Do what you feel you want to do, but parents getting older is a killer...nothing is forever..maybe travel for a few years/move back to London for a while?? Maybe travel and write a blog/ journal, I could read your posts all day..very easy to read, you can express yourself very well without been overly biased. Friends would always tell me to write a book of my train journeys in Sydney (mainly the Illawarra line) the random strange/unsettling things that I put on Facebook most days amused and entertained my friends and family. Ha! Maybe one day I will write a little book of train tales ha x whatever u decide to do, follow your heart for as long as it makes you happy. Nothing bad last forever, nor does anything good! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 how old are you? maybe your getting p!ssed days aren't over. that part needs to be beaten out of the system, hard. i can't wait to move to Sydney. London has become a right sh!thole and i wouldn't even consider moving to the home counties. commuting here is a farce. Oz is the way forward. no wonder everyone wants to move there Thats alot of s*** there bud!Posters like you annoy me actually.Generalising is'nt good!So what are you saying the "whole"of London is a s***hole?Or just the part you came from?"Ok so I started off married life in a not so desirable burb of Adelaide many moons ago,what if I said the whole of Adelaide was a s***hole because of that?Would that be a fair statment?Because I can guarantee I would have alot of posters living in Adelaide disagreeing with me!So "Everyone wants to move to Oz"?Are you 100% sure of that?Because I know quite a few people who don't wish to live in Oz for varying reasons.My own aussie kids for one! To the OP:Do what makes YOU happy.Do not listen to anyone except yourself.Obviously consider people's feelings but ultimately follow your own dream.Have you considered moving rurally in Oz?I'm not one for burbs myself,and loved living rurally in Sth Oz.Work could be a problem but there are plenty of towns with commuting distance of major cities around Oz.Best wishes for a bright and happy future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 If you are able, I'd check out getting your UK citizenship if you can! Having a visa is good but things can change and you cut off your options. Ageing parents are not easy but migrants in here will tell you - it's your life to do with as you wish. If they're knocking on 80 then perhaps hang around but otherwise go your own way! My Aussie son today said he has no intention of returning to live in Australia - after London Australia is boring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Sounds like you have pretty much already made the decision, you said you don't want to be in Sydney so I would just leave! There's not point in staying somewhere you are unhappy as it will affect your whole life. People buy homes in the UK so I wouldn't worry about that too much, depending on what you do for a living as long as you earn enough to be happy then it doesn't matter, everyone is so obsessed with having a big house, lots of "stuff" and holidays every 3 months these days especially in Sydney, I know I lived there for 4 years in two separate stints. Just go with your gut and good luck! I'm an aussie like you too and hanging to board the plane next month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 You sound pretty young and if you aren't a beach bunny, as you say and really retreat behind closed curtains with the aircon on when the suns out I would say go back to England for a bit while you have the visa. Sydney is a lovely place but it's not going to suite everyone. There are plenty of people in London who must love it just as much as the Sydney people who don't like criticism. Everyone parents get old and sick. They'll get by, It's not our job to be parents baby sitters when they get old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fensaddler Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 You sound very sensible to me. It's your life, so go somewhere you're happy. Having moved from the UK to Melbourne I'd put a shout in for my adopted city (and yes, I think it still has the vibe you liked). But if I could find work there, I'd be in Tassie like a shot, and I'd certainly consider NZ. There is still a lot to love about the UK (especially if you can find a good life well away from London), and places in mainland Europe that you may well love. And how about Canada - both Toronto and Vancouver are great cities? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennlx Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Wow, you could be me...I am Australian and have lived in the UK for awhile. Whenever I talk to my family, Australia is a paradise and nothing negative is tolerated. Even things like the dredging of the barrier reef, deaths in custody.....i get a brief wave of the hand and dismissive comment, followed by subject change. Like you, I also wanted to travel outside of Australia and so left when i was 21 and 12 years on i am still here. I am about 50/50 about moving home but 90% of my sentiment is due to having two young children and no nearby family for them. If i had no children, as i suspect you do not, i would explore until my heart is content. Life is too short. I once lived on £5 for a week. Money really ain't everything. Good luck in all you do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 A cliche I know but Australia is a big country and it sounds like it is time for you to move somewhere other than Sydney. Many Australians never go near the beach- have you thought of living somewhere inland or even somewhere like the Blue Mountains? I'd say most people in Melbourne are not 'beach bunnies' or at least only go to the beach in January! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Sydney is the worst city in the country for 'attitude'. If you don't do 'attitude' then it's a terrible place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Wow, you could be me...I am Australian and have lived in the UK for awhile. Whenever I talk to my family, Australia is a paradise and nothing negative is tolerated. Even things like the dredging of the barrier reef, deaths in custody.....i get a brief wave of the hand and dismissive comment, followed by subject change. Like you, I also wanted to travel outside of Australia and so left when i was 21 and 12 years on i am still here. I am about 50/50 about moving home but 90% of my sentiment is due to having two young children and no nearby family for them. If i had no children, as i suspect you do not, i would explore until my heart is content. Life is too short. I once lived on £5 for a week. Money really ain't everything. Good luck in all you do! Well said. There is certainly life outside of Australia. Something that becomes all the more apparent on entering the other side. Although money does increasing seem to be the basis of being in the Great South Land, Down Under. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 A cliche I know but Australia is a big country and it sounds like it is time for you to move somewhere other than Sydney. Many Australians never go near the beach- have you thought of living somewhere inland or even somewhere like the Blue Mountains? I'd say most people in Melbourne are not 'beach bunnies' or at least only go to the beach in January! We have pondered this question with regards where else to live for some years and still fail to come up with a feasible alternative. Inland small town living ...couldn't imagine where. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Not sure how old the OP is, but CampAmerica are hiring for the northern hemisphere summer season at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surf N Turf Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I'm also an Aussie who has returned from a long stint in the UK. More than once actually I think a lot of whether we settle back is about life stages. When I came back in my 20's I bounced back to the UK again as I felt that it offered me more at that time in my life. But now having moved back in my 40's with a partner and child, Australia ticks lots of boxes for me. Achieving a good standard of living in the UK feels more difficult. But again, that's because I'm not interested in shagging my way across Europe. A good school and affordable real-estate is what gets me going these days! At least I have the memories Apologies for only skim reading (great post BTW) but I got the impression you're back out of a sense of obligation rather than a strong desire to be here. Moving back when parents are elderly, but in good health, can create a long wait until you get to do what you want to do again. And living in a city that you don't like will only make that harder. I do recommend Melbourne for someone who loved living in Europe. It ain't London but my English partner finds it easier to live in than further north. And after many years in Queensland, I really love it. There are narrow-minded insular people everywhere. I was starting to bristle slightly at Aussies being portrayed that way yet again until it struck me that I was being a bit of a hypocrite. Most of the friends I've made here in the three years I've been in Melbourne are ex-pats. That's partly because I connect with their experiences better but also because they're more open to new people without having a life-times worth of family and friends around them. It might be worth you coming south and giving Melbourne a try before heading back to the UK again. Good luck with whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatDane Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 My Aussie son today said he has no intention of returning to live in Australia - after London Australia is boring! He'll be back, the kids all get tired of getting boozed and drugged up every weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 He'll be back, the kids all get tired of getting boozed and drugged up every weekend. Perhaps when either ready to breed or old and grey.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 He'll be back, the kids all get tired of getting boozed and drugged up every weekend. How very judgemental, and such a generalised sweeping statement.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatDane Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Thats alot of s*** there bud!Posters like you annoy me actually.Generalising is'nt good!So what are you saying the "whole"of London is a s***hole?Or just the part you came from?"Ok so I started off married life in a not so desirable burb of Adelaide many moons ago,what if I said the whole of Adelaide was a s***hole because of that?Would that be a fair statment?Because I can guarantee I would have alot of posters living in Adelaide disagreeing with me!So "Everyone wants to move to Oz"?Are you 100% sure of that?Because I know quite a few people who don't wish to live in Oz for varying reasons.My own aussie kids for one!To the OP:Do what makes YOU happy.Do not listen to anyone except yourself.Obviously consider people's feelings but ultimately follow your own dream.Have you considered moving rurally in Oz?I'm not one for burbs myself,and loved living rurally in Sth Oz.Work could be a problem but there are plenty of towns with commuting distance of major cities around Oz.Best wishes for a bright and happy future. Chill out, it's just an online forum. London has become a dump. Overrun by thugs from the non-desirable parts of Eastern Europe. I live in St Johns Wood which is rather nice but even this part of London is suffering from the influx of Euro Trash and is not what it used. Transport is rammed, expensive, dirty, doesn't matter where in London you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatDane Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Perhaps when either ready to breed or old and grey.... That's it, reality will hit hard one day. Being locked in pubs from Oct-Mar and doing the odd weekend to the continent will wear thin eventually. And paying £500/week for a tiny flat when money goes so much further in Oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatDane Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 How very judgemental, and such a generalised sweeping statement.. Guess morning humour laden with sarcasm hasn't made its way to Yorkshire yet?:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Ha..I'm laughing at your posts so it's just reaching yorkshire...London is a dump ha! So much more for your money in oz? Ha...you are funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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