Do I stay or Do I go - Confused.com

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

Don't get me wrong, I adore Brighton, but I have never liked a pebbly beach plus the weather is not exactly beach weather :-)

[TerryDXB]

Go online and find out how much a return airfare from anywhere in Oz (try Perth as its closest) to Jo'burg costs - then figure out if what you're likely to be earning in Oz will allow you to travel to SA as often as you like - it won't be anywhere near the cost of a London-Joburg return, without any of the flexibility that comes from the number of airlines that you can get out of London.

 

Also, factor in the travel time from Oz to SA. I did Perth to Jo-burg once - people already on the plane had spent 5 hours + getting to Perth (from Sydney/Melbourne). And..finally, check out how much vacation you will get in an Oz based job and see if this will allow the lifestyle/travel that you want.

 

I'm off to Jo-burg and Capetown next week - can't wait. BHX-Jo'burg with AirFrance GBP550 return (~11 hours travel each way)

 

You're not going skiing in Oz (well, not properly anyway) and you won't have Europe on your doorstep either...

[paul1977]

Don't get me wrong, I adore Brighton, but I have never liked a pebbly beach plus the weather is not exactly beach weather :-)

It's quite simple then that your never going to have everything.. Your going to lose something so that something is up to youn

[chubbs75]

I understand the OP's situation. My story in a nutshell is that I born in Hungary( parents live there ) then I moved to the USA for 6 years and then I moved to the UK in 2003. I thought I will live there forever but 2 years ago my son born and that changed everything for us planning long term. Now I'm in the southern highlands hunting for houses while my wife and baby boy still in the UK but coming over in a month time.

What I wanted to say that you might see yourself living in London at the moment but that could change in a month or a year. So my opinion is that you should definitely try Australia...

[starlight7]

I don't know if Brisbane will do it for you really after London. You might be better off in Sydney or Melbourne. If it were me I think I would stay put given you are happy and settled just now. As for getting old in London- you get many more services than we do here- we have to pay for stuff that is free over there for starters. I was amazed at the services and freebies available for my parents when they were alive and living in London.

[SarahJane690]

Sounds like a real dilemma. I feel your pain, I agree with Quoll- London seems the place for you right now....you never know what opportunities are around the corner. I believe, if you're meant to be in Oz- something will happen to make it a reality, but maybe not just yet.

enjoy your life, see what happens- it worked for me. I talked about moving to Oz for a long time then someone offered me a job and suddenly I was on my way.....

good luck :biggrin:

[dxboz]

I don't see your dilemma - your opening post was so clear - you want to stay where you are! Just stay and enjoy your life - who knows where the future will lead you - no use planning to go to Oz when it is so plainly obvious you are where you want to be

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

I don't know if Brisbane will do it for you really after London. You might be better off in Sydney or Melbourne. If it were me I think I would stay put given you are happy and settled just now. As for getting old in London- you get many more services than we do here- we have to pay for stuff that is free over there for starters. I was amazed at the services and freebies available for my parents when they were alive and living in London.

 

Yes, that's why I am only using Brisbane as my initial base. I will probably go to Melbourne -wasn't a fan of Sydney to be honest. Its not about the service in London that I am worried about, its the fact that I would much rather grow old somewhere pretty and warm :-) And I do think your parents are lucky because for so many oldies living in London the picture does not see so rosy.

 

But thanks so much for your thoughts! Will take it on-board.

[dxboz]

You are only 32 - Worry about growing old later - and finding somewhere pretty and warm - you are much too young to be thinking of where you want to grow old! Stay where you are and enjoy life. If you don't take this advice Melbourne would be the place to be

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I will take it on-board for sure.

 

I think I am leaning towards still going but taking the "permanent" out of the equation. I need to approach it the same was as I did moving to London, baby steps as oppose to jumping in the deep end. Putting my things into storage and taking a year out of my life to know for sure, is preferable to always wondering if I missed the opportunity of a lifetime. Lets face it the chances of me going through that massive drama of getting the visa again is not going to happen. And I am not doing the work sponsorship thing again, had enough of that when I moved here. So it's now or never.

 

So for now, I am going to push on, stick to my guns and finish what I started. Even if it scares me too bits.

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

I am a planner. I can't help it :-/

[flag of convenience]

Hi

 

I am facing a dilemma and it's making me sick to my stomach at the moment. I apologize in advance for my ramblings but my thoughts are all over the place at the moment and I am hoping to get some advice from people who made the move.

 

Bit of background on me: I am originally from Cape Town, South African and moved to London 7 years ago on a working holiday via. I got sponsored, am now on PR and will be applying for my British citizenship next month. I should probably also mention I am single, 32 and work as a Software Developer. A few years back, when I was going through a really unhappy time in the UK, so I applied for my Australian 175 visa thinking moving was the answer. My visa got granted in June 2011 but I wasn't ready to move to Australia yet, as I wanted to get my British citizenship in case I wanted to return to the UK. I am now due to move to Australia (Brisbane initially) in April, and although I have not booked flights yet, my employer knows I am leaving and so does all friends + family.

 

The dilemma I am facing is that I am not sure if moving to Australia is the best thing for me any more. I am in such a different place that I was when I applied for the visa, so it really breaks my heart to think I have to leave a life I love behind. Especially since I have done this once before I know how hard it is to move to another country, it takes years to find your feet! Another concern is I love England and South Africa almost equally now, so I want to spend time in both and not sure how I am going to be able to add Australia to the mix. I also like Australia and the idea of living there, because it would offer a similar lifestyle as I the one I had while growing up in South Africa, something I really miss. But I am worried that living in London for so long has changed me too much to appreciate that kind of lifestyle. I have a good life in London, with great friends, get to travel loads and go home to South Africa once a year for a summer holiday. I just don't know if I am chasing pipe dreams by moving to Australia. At the same time I don't want to regret not moving to Australia because I am too scared, I have worked so hard and dedicated so much time and energy to moving to Australia it would break my heart to just let the opportunity pass me by.

 

Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated :-)

 

In a sentence, "Don't do it"

[whichway1]

If it was me I would stay - well to be honest I'd probably go and then in hindsight wish I'd stayed. I'd go because that's what I said I was doing and that's what everyone thinks I am doing. Sometimes, and this is exactly what happened to me, we work SO hard for the goal, ie to get to Australia, we forget to notice what we have around us. Or the goal just becomes something you do without actually thinking about it. I was applying for visa, getting things organised, working, playing a little, fully focused on going to Oz and when the visa came I thought "oh no" I don't want to go. And I went..........And I came back.........Only you know the answer, but I honestly don't know why you would regret not going to live somewhere when you are happy where you are. Good Luck.

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

If it was me I would stay - well to be honest I'd probably go and then in hindsight wish I'd stayed. I'd go because that's what I said I was doing and that's what everyone thinks I am doing. Sometimes, and this is exactly what happened to me, we work SO hard for the goal, ie to get to Australia, we forget to notice what we have around us. Or the goal just becomes something you do without actually thinking about it. I was applying for visa, getting things organised, working, playing a little, fully focused on going to Oz and when the visa came I thought "oh no" I don't want to go. And I went..........And I came back.........Only you know the answer, but I honestly don't know why you would regret not going to live somewhere when you are happy where you are. Good Luck.

 

That rings so true. I know I keep hammering on it, but I am worried I will regret it if I don't go. At least you gave it a go, nothing wrong with realizing its not for you and coming back. Are you any worse off for having gone? Do you regret it? How long did you go for?

[Guest Guest 47403]

That rings so true. I know I keep hammering on it, but I am worried I will regret it if I don't go. At least you gave it a go, nothing wrong with realizing its not for you and coming back. Are you any worse off for having gone? Do you regret it? How long did you go for?

 

You have mentioned quite a lot the fact you may regret not going if you stay in London, I think you need to get your UK citizenship then go and either enjoy the rest of your life there or get it out of your system and come back to the UK, your young and have time so go for it.

[whichway1]

That rings so true. I know I keep hammering on it, but I am worried I will regret it if I don't go. At least you gave it a go, nothing wrong with realizing its not for you and coming back. Are you any worse off for having gone? Do you regret it? How long did you go for?

 

I stayed for 5 years. I don't really regret it but I do feel I lost part of my life, which sounds silly but I feel I lost those 5 years which I could have enjoyed and I did not. But that was my own fault for staying for so long and letting myself get so low. But I do now have the advantage that I will never go again, because I know it's not for me. You are right though, you have to take the permanence out of it. But it is so important to trust your gut, I absolutely 100% knew I did not want to go, but I did because of my partner etc etc.

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

You have mentioned quite a lot the fact you may regret not going if you stay in London, I think you need to get your UK citizenship then go and either enjoy the rest of your life there or get it out of your system and come back to the UK, your young and have time so go for it.

 

I am definitely getting my citizenship, that's the only reason I have stayed so long after my Australian visa has been activated. That is why the time line is April, its based on my citizenship timeline

 

My heart says stay but my head says go. Its so frustrating.

[dxboz]

Looks like you have actually made your mind up already Saffa so best wishes with your plans

[whichway1]

gut gut gut what does your gut say?? Sometimes you can't hear it cos everything else is so loud and your mind is so confused, just take some time to relax over the next few days.........

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

I stayed for 5 years. I don't really regret it but I do feel I lost part of my life, which sounds silly but I feel I lost those 5 years which I could have enjoyed and I did not. But that was my own fault for staying for so long and letting myself get so low. But I do now have the advantage that I will never go again, because I know it's not for me. You are right though, you have to take the permanence out of it. But it is so important to trust your gut, I absolutely 100% knew I did not want to go, but I did because of my partner etc etc.

 

5 years! Wowee, that is a long time. I am thinking a year MAX, but truth be told I will probably know within 3 months as that is how long it took me to decide I wanted to say in the UK. However just in case I will give myself a year and book my return for a year's time, that will give me enough time to make a well informed decision. I am definitely not 100% sure I don't want to go, at the moment I am sitting at about 55% :-)

[SaffaInLondonMovingToOz]

Looks like you have actually made your mind up already Saffa so best wishes with your plans

 

I am glad you think I have made a decision :-) I haven't at all, I change my mind about 50 times a day!

[dxboz]

This is the part where it says don't do it ....

so it really breaks my heart to think I have to leave a life I love behind.

[saffaleavingoz]

Dear SaffaInLondon

 

I'm also a South African, living in Aus (Melbourne) for 7 years. I've been in the same boat many many times, i.e. should we stay or should we go, etc. The "we" is my wife, two children and I. It seems that the more options you have, the more difficult it is to make a decision, especially on something that is life changing. We're preparing to leave Aus for the UK.

 

My advice will be biased towards saying that you should think twice about moving to Aus. Unfortunately taking bias out of an answer is almost impossible for almost everyone. And I've also seen in your posts that you're very happy in London. You'll never find utopia. So if you're very happy, then that's enough reason to stay put and enjoy your life. You have something that many people lose through bad decisions based on emotions and not fact.

 

My reasons are based on my own views.

 

Fact 1. You live a heck of a lot closer to SA now than you would being in Aus. Even in Perth. It costs us around $7,000-$9,000 dollars on flight tickets to travel at a decent time of year from Melbourne to Cape Town to see family and old friends. Then there is the spending money, which is another $2,000-$4,000 for a 2-4 week stay. Granted, this is with family in tow, but if you do the math, you'll see that it's very expensive to travel from Aus to SA for a holiday.

 

Fact 2. The time zone between Aus and SA is a killer. You'll spend about a week recovering from jet lag in SA, unless you're one of the lucky ones that take a couple of days. With us, that takes one third of our holiday away from us because we can't enjoy family and friends when we're all walking zombies. Also, we can't just pick up the phone or Skype whenever we want. We have to wait and time our comms to SA. It's normally late evening here, and mid morning/late afternoon in SA. You really are at the arse end of the world here.

 

Fact 3. All cities in Aus suffer from a small town mentality, including the big centers Melbourne and Sydney. Which on London and New York standards are quite small in the first place. They also have the added issue of tall poppy syndrome. It is very very rife here. Funny enough I haven't seen that in the smaller rural towns, but it's all over the place in the cities. Australian workplaces are the most frustrating I've ever encountered. In general, Aussies are lazy and self-obsessed. Which is why I hire mainly foreigners. The work ethic is non existent.

 

Fact 3. London is one of the greatest cities on the planet. The diversity and acceptance of other cultures and the integration that's possible is second to none. Not so in Aus. In general, Aussies don't like foreigners. And you'll always be a foreigner if you don't speak with an Aussie accent.

 

Fact 4. There are a LOT more opportunities in the UK and the rest of Europe for work and business. I've just come back from a four week business trip to London, and I can't believe the opportunities I see there when I compare it to the economic prospects in Aus. Aus is living on borrowed time. I own an IT consultancy in Mlebourne, specializing in erp deployment.

 

Fact 4. Although you know this already, and I'm only saying this because I got a sense that you want to capture some of your old days in SA in Aus, Australia is nothing like South Africa. Not in culture. Not in diversity. Not in climate. Yes, the sun shines here far more than in the UK. Similar to SA. But it's not the same. It burns. It's not friendly sun like in SA or the Mediterranean. I'm Italian-South African, and I have an olive complexion. I burn in Aus. Not in SA. My kids can't enjoy a day out in the sun like they do in SA.T

 

Fact 5. There is no such thing as ubuntu in Aus as you find in SA. That sense of compassion and togetherness. You won't find that here. UK has more of this than Aus.

 

Fact 6. Australia is a VERY insular society. They can't see anything past their own borders. It's also a nanny state that puts the UK to shame. Growing up in SA, we all had a very real sense of the world and our place in it. You don't have that in Aus.

 

Fact 7. In Aus, it's all about the beautiful people and sports. Aus doesn't really have a defining culture. And a European-type appreciation for the arts, history, science, comedy, etc. and similar passions that we foreign-born people have, are lost on most Aussies.

 

Fact 8. Australia is probably more safe than the UK.

 

Fact 9. Life in Aus for me has been soul destroying. It's a personal fact I know, but you have to consider that life in Aus just won't match up with life in the UK.

 

There are a lot more things but these come to mind. I know they're based on my own bias, but I also recognize some things in your posts that I have gone through before. And if I have stayed put in the country I was happy in, things may have been different. One of the most unsettling things I've encountered is that everyone "back home" seems to have just got on with their lives and tried to eek out every bit of enjoyment from their lives as they could. We, the priviledged ones, with Italian and South African and Aussie passports, seem to be the ones not able to enjoy life because we can't make a decision and stick with it. We have too many choices. And we can't settle.

 

I don't think you want to leave London. I think that you have a picture in your head of what life in Aus could be like. But I promise you, that picture is 99.99999% flawed.

 

Don't make the mistake of chasing the wind.

[saffaleavingoz]

I don't seem to be able to count. Fact 3, Fact 3, Fact 4, Fact 4, etc. etc.

[saffaleavingoz]

I'm sorry. Reading my post, I come off as a whinging Saffa. That was not the intention. It was just to offer you a different view of Aus which I thought would help you understand that Aus is not all it's cut out to be. We were happy where we were and we threw it away because of a rough patch we hit and we decided to follow our emotions instead of fact.