Creese Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Hi All havent posted for a while, but still like to look in to see other peoples threads / feelings. My husband and I and two kids have been here 7 years, and have gone through the motions of feeling unsettled to then feeling ok, to feeling unsettled again. We have decided to put the house up for sale to move to a nicer area closer to my sons school. I was feeling happy but bit emotional as my neice is getting married this weekend and im going to miss it so gutted that I wont be there, but its an expensive trip to make for a wedding. I was talking to a lady I know at the weekend who told me she is moving back to Ireland and bam all the suppressed feelings I had about moving back have arisen again!!! Just wanted to ask does anyone else go through these emotions on a weekly basis or is it just me!!! If I could I would move back in a heart beat (husband feels the same), but is it the right thing to do for the kids? They are aged 9 and 14. We do have citizenship so they could return later on in life if they so wish, im just feeling very confused at the mo!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Its a tough call to make but I will say one thing having grown up without extended family, it is nice to have a relationship with your cousins and aunts/uncles. I have just got it back after all my childhood without them and now as an adult I am moving to the UK as most of the family is there. You will no doubt go through emotions all the time if you miss home, do you miss the place or the people though and why did you leave? These are all questions only you can answer. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 It's when the kids get older that it gets so much harder. There's no easy answer I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) Your kids are just about at the top end of a straightforward easy move. If you could get your 14yr old into UK education within the next few months they'd be just fine! If you don't do it now though then education may be a bit more of a challenge but it is heartening to see so many returnees who have found that even heir older kids have slipped right back into education with maybe only little hassles if at all. I won't say you get used to missing out on weddings, births and funerals, I don't think you ever do but if you harden your heart you can live with it! The time will probably come where you don't even get the invite any more and they call to tell you of a funeral after the event because they're too busy getting on with it (although probably not as bad as it used to be with instant communication these days!) there are plenty of happy fulfilled kids growing up in UK - I see lots out playing apparently having a good time and I see much more parent/child interaction here (it's been something that has pleased and slightly surprised me here). UK is a first world country on its way up out of the last doldrums so they will probably be like a pig in mud to have so much on offer - best thing for them though is a pair of happy parents living in a place they want to be. Where your kids go with their lives is anyone's guess - could be Australia, Antigua or Aberdeen, who knows! You have to look after you - if it doesn't float your boat, look for a new mooring! edited to say re Jen's post above, both of my now adult sons have commented on their sadness of the isolation of our little family and how they wished they had grown up with extended family around them. Both of them are now partnered with girls from huge extended family networks and they both miss that closeness with their own family. I think too, sadly, it has made them even less sensitive to others' feelings as we all had to be, to a degree, selfish and self sufficient to survive Edited August 28, 2013 by Quoll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Why would it not be a right thing for the kids? I have seen so many posts about people moving to Oz for the kids and to be honest I just don’t understand it. I will point out me and my wife do not have children, though I have brought up my two children from my first marriage and my son is now 25 and in the UK. From what I have seen, schools are no better or worse in either country – there are good and bad. Both countries produce successful people. Both produce good graduates. Yes, the UK has been in recession, but it is coming out of it now and by the time your kids are at the point of starting work – if they go to uni it is a very long time away – then nobody knows how it will be for them in either country. But, having dual nationality will leave them an option. I think it depends on the individual family. I know there are some posters on here that say there family is better in Oz. I know some that say the opposite. For me personally, if I had children now, I think the UK would be better for them as the things I would like to do with them are better in the UK such as taking them to galleries, museums and things. Also, taking them to Europe and getting regular experience of different cultures I think is important. If though you’re a family into the beach and surfing and things, the Oz may be better. At the end of the day, you have to be where you will be happy. Kids will thrive in either country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 When you ask about if it's fair on your children, what is it that's worrying you about bringing them back to the UK? Is it the upheaval again? Or the worry about their futures? Or leaving friends?.... I ask because these were all things we worried about with our girls. We moved to Aus when they were 5, 3 and 1. We returned to the UK four years later, then back to Aus when the were 14, 12 and 10 and then back to the UK a year later. We've since moved within the UK. They have all been fine, even with this last move. I remember apologising to my eldest a couple of years ago, saying all I wanted was a bit of stability for them and she replied that her stability comes from us as her parents and as a family, not from where she lives. They have had great opportunities in both countries and, like yours, have citizenship so can choose for themselves where they want to be. My eldest (19 next week) has just deferred her uni place in Birmingham and is rethinking plans she may have for next year (she may decide to do her degree in Australia..... or not..:wink:) and the middle one may do the same. Having the choice is such a great thing, but a cheaper decision to make from the UK. Aus citizens are treated as domestic students even from here, whereas UK citizens are, generally, treated as international ones when they've emigrated. Just something else to consider... Do your children have any idea how you feel? Do you know what their thoughts would be? Quoll's right, you're at the point with your eldest's education where a move now would still be fairly straightforward re GCSEs. It does get more complicated, but not impossible, the longer you leave it. Good luck whatever you decide. I know how hard it is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 I wonder what your children's views on the situation are? Especially the 14 year old. Do they have very close friends? I think for children that is one of the hardest things to reproduce at age 14. I am sure your youngest will easily adapt but I think there is a risk with your eldest. I think it would be fair to involve him in the decision and allow him a say in the move. I understand he may not be emotionally mature enough to understand all the deciding factors but if he knows you are taking into account him opinion seriously he will feel respected. Both countries do offer good opportunities for children, I would perhaps look at the curriculum in both countries and perhaps speak to a school in the UK to see how easily the transition would be and how many GCSE's they would allow your son to sit. There may be subjects currently being taught that are not taught in Oz and it may restrict his GCSE choices in the future. I do believe that parents have to be truly happy for the children to be content, so to me it sounds like this is something that will not go away until you have explored all options. Have you considered a longer holiday back home? I read all the time that people move back to realise England is not what they imagined or that life did not fit back into place as they have pictured, however there are others that come back here and realise this is where home is. I think its a personal choice but one only you can make once you have returned for a while. If its family you miss, is it possible to return more regularly forfeiting holidays elsewhere? I certainly know I would be asking myself to try and see things from all prospective and sitting down and discussing them all. I believe there is no right or wrong answer, but only a best judgement at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane66 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) Aus citizens are treated as domestic students even from here, whereas UK citizens are, generally, treated as international ones when they've emigrated. Just something else to consider... Question - We are heading back end of 2014 once our son has finished high school in Australia. Just checking your quote above - are you saying that the university fees in the UK are cheaper if you say you are an Australian citizen rather than a returning UK citizen? (son was born in UK been away 13 yrs)? Edited August 28, 2013 by Jane66 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Aus citizens are treated as domestic students even from here, whereas UK citizens are, generally, treated as international ones when they've emigrated. Just something else to consider...Question - We are heading back end of 2014 once our son has finished high school in Australia. Just checking your quote above - are you saying that the university fees in the UK are cheaper if you say you are an Australian citizen rather than a returning UK citizen? (son was born in UK been away 13 yrs)? No, sadly not. Australian citizens living in the UK can go to uni in Australia as domestic students. UK citizens living in Australia (usually) have to live back in the UK for three years before being able to claim 'home' status. This means they're classed as international students and therefore have to pay international fees. In some cases there can be ways around it, but that's the general rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Aus citizens are treated as domestic students even from here, whereas UK citizens are, generally, treated as international ones when they've emigrated. Just something else to consider...Question - We are heading back end of 2014 once our son has finished high school in Australia. Just checking your quote above - are you saying that the university fees in the UK are cheaper if you say you are an Australian citizen rather than a returning UK citizen? (son was born in UK been away 13 yrs)? My understanding is this, but if I'm wrong, someone will come and correct me. Returning UK citizens are considered international students in the UK, unless you can show that the move was only ever temporary as the requirement to be classed as a domestic students for the fees are that you have to lived in the UK for xx number of years and only for certain reasons. In Australia, you are considered a domestic student, even if you have never lived there as long as you are a Citizen, so you could get Citizenship by Descent and live in (example) America and then decide to go to Uni in Aus and you're a domestic student. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 http://www.ukcisa.org.uk/ This site will help to determine what your fee status is in the UK and how to go about arranging an assessment to have it changed if that is possible in your circumstances x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 http://www.ukcisa.org.uk/ This site will help to determine what your fee status is in the UK and how to go about arranging an assessment to have it changed if that is possible in your circumstances x That's a really good website. It explains everything quite clearly. :yes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkeeno Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) My query is how do they know (how can you prove) the date you moved back to the UK permanently, and therefore the date you're eligible to be a UK domestic student. Also this is a good link http://www.reading.ac.uk/Study/fees/study-feesdefinition.aspx It explains all the legislation. Something I didn't know: basically if your course begins between 1 August - 31 December, then you have to have completed 3 years wait prior to 1st September. i.e if your course starts on 4th October 2018, you'd have to live in the UK for the period 1 September 2015 - 31 August 2018. Living their 4th October 2015 - 3rd October 2018, wouldn't work - as it's automatically presumed your course begins on the 1st September, even though it's actually 4th October (example only). Edited August 30, 2013 by mkeeno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Without hesitation UK. If that's the place you want to be. The kid's will work it out for themselves when the time is right. Kids will prosper in either country. You'll look a goose if one fine day the kids return or one returns and you've left it too late to do like wise. I have met a couple where this happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 My query is how do they know (how can you prove) the date you moved back to the UK permanently, and therefore the date you're eligible to be a UK domestic student. Also this is a good link http://www.reading.ac.uk/Study/fees/study-feesdefinition.aspx It explains all the legislation. Something I didn't know: basically if your course begins between 1 August - 31 December, then you have to have completed 3 years wait prior to 1st September. i.e if your course starts on 4th October 2018, you'd have to live in the UK for the period 1 September 2015 - 31 August 2018. Living their 4th October 2015 - 3rd October 2018, wouldn't work - as it's automatically presumed your course begins on the 1st September, even though it's actually 4th October (example only). Student Finance is administrated by the Government and they can check records such as Child Benefit, Tax etc. It would look a little odd if you said that you had lived in the UK for xx number of years, but there was no trace of you anywhere. Your parents hadn't claimed Child Benefit, paid taxes, been registered to vote etc. Very hard to live off grid in the UK and it would be questioned. The best thing is to ask the Uni to assess the student for fees first as you can always put forward a good case as to why you should be classed as a home student, rather than trying to lie and perhaps being found out and prosecuted for fraud later down the line x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 After 7 years in Brisbane, I am certain the future for me lies in the UK. Hubby is willing to move back but we are stuck for at least another year until son goes to uni. Although he wants to come back to UK too, sadly we just can't afford for him to be educated as an overseas student in UK. You still have time to move yours back, but if you leave it much longer you'll have to commit to a longer spell in Oz unless you're very rich. My daughter wants to stay in Oz but that may change when she graduates as work opps are picking up in UK and seem to be tailing off in Oz. Not an easy decision but your kids will go with the flow whatever you decide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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