Moving to Australia - What would you do?

[meca]

Hi meca,

 

Another person, another comment - here I go:

 

“But i hate alot of things with Sweden also, actually i hate more things then i love them.” I can’t believe you actually wrote that! Would you like to change places with me? Do you want me to tell you where I live? Sweden, from my point of view: developed country, advanced economy, free healthcare, free schooling, I bet the roads and the infrastructure in general is very well maintained, a clean country (which is very important for me), etc etc. = very high standard of living!

 

As it has been said, tread with care = be careful what you do/decide. I too have to agree that a relationship should be around fifty-fifty when making decisions.

Users flag of convenience and Incata and Xenon4017 pretty much summed it up on the second page. Read their posts again if you want to. As I counted she gave you 3-4 negative answers when it came to living anywhere, moving to Sweden first, then moving about in Australia, etc.

 

“I have really good job in Sweden, working as project manager for big company, having good sallary and having alot of friends” I’d say you are in a very good position now. Think more about this then: “Be very careful trowing away a good life in Sweden for an unknown quality here in everyway.”

 

Pick a girl/woman from your city. The big company where you work must be in a big city. Plenty more fish in the sea. Do you know what this expression means?

 

You could talk about this issue with your boss, but you say you hardly meet him (every couple of months). Ask for more advice from people who are closer to you.

 

In my opinion user pob really nailed it with the witty comments. flag of convenience, Incata and Xenon4017’s advice was more on the mature side though, which I like a lot. You have to be mature about this. As I see it, the girl at 25 is much less mature.

 

I think of relationships as a ping-pong game. You ping, she must pong and her pong must be in the right way. This girl’s pongs were everything but right/correct.

 

Hi,

 

Thanks for your post.

Now let me tell you some stuff about Sweden. I'm an immigrant, i'm not born in Sweden.

I'm really thankful for the opportunities this country have given me and my family, but let me tell me some of the downsides of Sweden because many people

believe things are like roses here, Economy, free healthcare etc..

 

Now i guess your name is Mr Johansson, Svensson or some Swedish name, well neither is mine and this creates BIG problems in this country even these days.

1. If you don't have Swedish name you need to fight 10 times more to find same job at as Swedish one

2. You are not equal to a Swedish even if you are born here but have different name

3. 90% of swedish are racist but don't tell you straight in the eyes, but behind scenes a lot of them are hating immigrants, muslims, well everybody that is not swedish.

4. Everything people in Sweden do it's normal and rest of the world is stupid because they don't do or think like swedes. So a culture in china, egypt, india, russia, italy, spain their behavior is not normal but swedish is.

5. The food you eat at home as immigrant is strange but meatballs and potato are normal

6. If you want to be on same level as swedish you must sell your soul, try to be swedish and talk **** about every other nation and then you are on the road because there is their way and wrong way.

7. They are the cheapest people in world, don't you expect a swedish to buy you couple of beers, when you go to their home you need to bring the drinks with you and even the food sometimes.

8. They can't have any best friends because everything is about the money. Even when they live with someone the person they live with have separant economy

9. The stores in sweden close at 6PM CET(After that you can see a gull on a street **** because everything is dead outside)

10. You wake with a cloud above your head 300 days a year

11. A person who you have met before will never say hi on the street, but when they drink they are your best friends and then everybody knows you

12. If you borrow 2 euro you better bring those back otherwise you will be reminded for that long time.

13. They don't have a soul, cold like winter here

14. The hospitals are good, but man you can die in an emergency room, i had blood poison one and they sent me home said it was nonthing, i've broke my arm they told me that doc was sleeping, go home and come back in several hours when he wakes up.

 

This are some things which i can bring up and my list could go on... This country is great but for immigrants can be hard, especially if you don't know the language.

If you like this welcome to Sweden ) That's i wrote "But i hate alot of things with Sweden also, actually i hate more things then i love them."

 

Now let's continue to the topic we originaly discussed

 

yes there are plenty fish in the sea but it's about finding the right one.

Trust me i'm really open to all thoughts and the things people write here just clears my head even more and thank you alot!

This means alot to me and your post as well.

 

This is what i'm also talking about, an relationship is about giving and taking..

As i told her i would move to antartica if she didn't like it here but she is not prepared to move anywhere. =((

It's not about my family it's about her not willing to sacrifice anything.=))

[Niamh Y]

Ok meca sweden isnt perfect, where is. But you still seem to have a nice life there, you're close to your family, good job with 6 weeks holidays, free healthcare etc

 

You're getting good advice. Go for 6 months and test the water. Get to know your girl better. You'll probably have made up your mind either way after only a couple of months.

[Niamh Y]

Also I just wanted to add, maybe she will be more willing to compromise and make sacrifices when she knows you better. Its probably all very scary for her too and it is also difficult being the one that someone picks up and moves half way across the world for. There's huge pressure to make it all work and guilt for asking someone to move that far.

 

I think it boils down to you two not knowing each other well enough.

[clanmcwood]

here is my story .... i was a "home girl" very close to my parents.... before we marred my husband asked if i would move mover to AUS i said "I dont think i could leave my family, But only time would tell" I needed to live away from them first to see if i could cope with out them. My husband was in the army so over the last 9 years we have moved all over the UK. He them had the chance to leave the army by this time i new that i could leave my family. I could move to AUS. So we made a deal if he left the army we will move to AUS.

Just because she has said she will not move now does not mean that she will fell the same in 2, 5 or 10 yeas time... Saying that if my parents were ill i would not fell able to move over. Their may be more reasons for her decisions at this time.

But this is a new relationship ship, with a grate deal of challenges... if i was you i would do the long term relationship for a little longer, move over but NOT move into strait away. I would get my own place build a life with her in it but also have other friends.

[Mushahid]

Hi Meca ;I have a different view of how I see things as I have traveled the world over, left UK to be with my girl...Moved to Australia ..Now working in US...Do you see where I am going with this....THE WORLD IS A SMALL PLACE TO LIVE IN....You can fly any time anywhere....Australia to Sweden...Maybe 14 hours....:)To be honest , Love is of utmost importance, It is hard to find true love...So give it a try....maybe your love will make her change her mind..!!!:)All the best....

[Tina2]

Hi,

 

Thanks for your post.

Now let me tell you some stuff about Sweden. I'm an immigrant, i'm not born in Sweden, but i came here 20 years ago during the war in Bosnia.

I'm really thankful for the opportunities this country have given me and my family, but let me tell me some of the downsides of Sweden because many people

believe things are like roses here, Economy, free healthcare etc..

 

Now i guess your name is Mr Johansson, Svensson or some Swedish name, well neither is mine and this creates BIG problems in this country even these days.

1. If you don't have Swedish name you need to fight 10 times more to find same job at as Swedish one

2. You are not equal to a Swedish even if you are born here but have different name

3. 90% of swedish are racist but don't tell you straight in the eyes, but behind scenes a lot of them are hating immigrants, muslims, well everybody that is not swedish.

4. Everything people in Sweden do it's normal and rest of the world is stupid because they don't do or think like swedes. So a culture in china, egypt, india, russia, italy, spain their behavior is not normal but swedish is.

5. The food you eat at home as immigrant is strange but meatballs and potato are normal

6. If you want to be on same level as swedish you must sell your soul, try to be swedish and talk **** about every other nation and then you are on the road because there is their way and wrong way.

7. They are the cheapest people in world, don't you expect a swedish to buy you couple of beers, when you go to their home you need to bring the drinks with you and even the food sometimes.

8. They can't have any best friends because everything is about the money. Even when they live with someone the person they live with have separant economy

9. The stores in sweden close at 6PM CET(After that you can see a gull on a street **** because everything is dead outside)

10. You wake with a cloud above your head 300 days a year

11. A person who you have met before will never say hi on the street, but when they drink they are your best friends and then everybody knows you

12. If you borrow 2 euro you better bring those back otherwise you will be reminded for that long time.

13. They don't have a soul, cold like winter here

14. The hospitals are good, but man you can die in an emergency room, i had blood poison one and they sent me home said it was nonthing, i've broke my arm they told me that doc was sleeping, go home and come back in several hours when he wakes up.

 

This are some things which i can bring up and my list could go on... This country is great but for immigrants can be hard, especially if you don't know the language.

If you like this welcome to Sweden ) That's i wrote "But i hate alot of things with Sweden also, actually i hate more things then i love them."

 

Now let's continue to the topic we originaly discussed

 

yes there are plenty fish in the sea but it's about finding the right one.

Trust me i'm really open to all thoughts and the things people write here just clears my head even more and thank you alot!

This means alot to me and your post as well.

 

This is what i'm also talking about, an relationship is about giving and taking..

As i told her i would move to antartica if she didn't like it here but she is not prepared to move anywhere. =((

It's not about my family it's about her not willing to sacrifice anything.=))

 

Sorry but to me it sounds like you have already made you decision and are looking for people to support what you have decided.

You hate Sweden - so leave the world is a big place. Now the wars are over in your birth country maybe you should try going back there for a while. All is not rosy in Aus either, work is hard to get especially if you don't have qualifications, many hospital are in crisis etc. So I agree with so many who have written on this thread. Come to Aus, give it a try to see if you like it and will be happy here but don't live in the girls home, that is a very bad idea, you will feel uncomfortable if you want to leave. Find a small unit close by and visit, get to "really know" the girl, her family and Australia, before you commit, that way you are free to leave any time.

[Sustain]

Just don't create false expectations that you will establish a relationship and she will change her mind about moving overseas.

 

A country move for a yet to be established (other than holiday romances) relationship is foolish and not going to win you favours when seeking employment.

 

Interviewer : "So what brings you to Australia".

 

"A girl"

[meca]

Sorry but to me it sounds like you have already made you decision and are looking for people to support what you have decided.

You hate Sweden - so leave the world is a big place. Now the wars are over in your birth country maybe you should try going back there for a while. All is not rosy in Aus either, work is hard to get especially if you don't have qualifications, many hospital are in crisis etc. So I agree with so many who have written on this thread. Come to Aus, give it a try to see if you like it and will be happy here but don't live in the girls home, that is a very bad idea, you will feel uncomfortable if you want to leave. Find a small unit close by and visit, get to "really know" the girl, her family and Australia, before you commit, that way you are free to leave any time.

 

Hey!

 

I have not made up my mind, i've just want to bring up things what is not right with Sweden, but as i told before many things are superb

Yesterday i've heard you can only be on sick leave in OZ 8 days per/year-.. We can have unlimited, after 2 weeks you can need to have doc saying you can't work and that's it.

That is what i've heard also, that work is hard to get now in OZ. Her friends and she are telling me that it would be easy for me to get a job in OZ since i work as a project manager for big and well known company.

 

If i would go for 6 months there is no option to live in her home.

I told her from day one if i would come that i would live alone, to see what OZ is like, to feel like what work is, yeah to feel the country..

But honestly i've must say not a single friend have told me to go, even for 6 months. Just simple because i will get stuck or she will make me stuck there.

Anyway, time is ticking away and I need to make decision within couple of days because this is eating me alive and situation is not holdable.

But i like this forum alot! There are some really, honest, realistic people here ) Even if i decide not to go i will for sure stay here and chat with you folks =))

[meca]

Just don't create false expectations that you will establish a relationship and she will change her mind about moving overseas.

 

A country move for a yet to be established (other than holiday romances) relationship is foolish and not going to win you favours when seeking employment.

 

Interviewer : "So what brings you to Australia".

 

"A girl"

 

I don't think her mind will change when it comes to moving...

She told me that like milion of times..

Haha i wonder how the person would react if I gave that answer. probably what are u doing here m8 )

[meca]

Meca, your advice to yourself is excellent and I suspect, if one of your friends told you the story you have told us, you would be giving him the same advice.

 

There are lots of potential partners out there for you. I did not meet my husband until I was 29, and by that point I had lived and worked overseas.

 

Another point you need to bear in mind (and I am unsure if you have read other threads), is that the job situation is not good over here and it seems to be getting worse. You would have to go to all the expense of going through a skills assessment, ILETS and applying for a visa, before coming out and competing with a local workforce who are out of work. It could be a real struggle for you and if you have a good job, can afford a house, get free healthcare, school and dentists for kids, why sacrifice it all for someone who is not willing to sacrifice anything?

 

I do wish you much happiness, but with someone who will give as well as take.

 

Hi Incata,

 

Yes all my friends are giving me advice to just leave it and not go for 6 months eighter.

This thing about working situation is constant thing which i worry about sometimes. Here is the deal, i have tinnitus, for those who don't know

what that is, well short desc, when you get back home from a nightclub and you go to sleep, the sound in your ears, well it's constant in my head for last 6 years.

There are some periods which can be tough and her at my work my employer understands that and i can work for home couple of days.

 

How are the employers down in australia? Do they have same kind of understanding?

For example if you can't go to work one day because of this?

The other thing i've discussed the jobs and everybody is promising that i could get a job easy. and here i'm reading the opposite. What is the deal?

 

Cheerz

[Nikey]

Hey!

 

I have not made up my mind, i've just want to bring up things what is not right with Sweden, but as i told before many things are superb

Yesterday i've heard you can only be on sick leave in OZ 8 days per/year-.. We can have unlimited, after 2 weeks you can need to have doc saying you can't work and that's it.

That is what i've heard also, that work is hard to get now in OZ. Her friends and she are telling me that it would be easy for me to get a job in OZ since i work as a project manager for big and well known company.

 

If i would go for 6 months there is no option to live in her home.

I told her from day one if i would come that i would live alone, to see what OZ is like, to feel like what work is, yeah to feel the country..

But honestly i've must say not a single friend have told me to go, even for 6 months. Just simple because i will get stuck or she will make me stuck there.

Anyway, time is ticking away and I need to make decision within couple of days because this is eating me alive and situation is not holdable.

But i like this forum alot! There are some really, honest, realistic people here ) Even if i decide not to go i will for sure stay here and chat with you folks =))

 

Hey - if nobody has told you to go then I will!! GO and have some fun. As people have already said, keep your job open, live elsewhere etc etc and enjoy the country and your new relationship.

 

I am sorry to hear your experience in Sweden. I guess it is a very different experience being a immigrant in a country (it is one of my worries if I leave the UK) but maybe you will have similar problems in Australia. I suspect you might get the hidden racism as much in Oz or the UK as in Sweden but I cannot talk from experience......

[Nikey]

Hi Incata,

 

Yes all my friends are giving me advice to just leave it and not go for 6 months eighter.

This thing about working situation is constant thing which i worry about sometimes. Here is the deal, i have tinnitus, for those who don't know

what that is, well short desc, when you get back home from a nightclub and you go to sleep, the sound in your ears, well it's constant in my head for last 6 years.

There are some periods which can be tough and her at my work my employer understands that and i can work for home couple of days.

 

How are the employers down in australia? Do they have same kind of understanding?

For example if you can't go to work one day because of this?

The other thing i've discussed the jobs and everybody is promising that i could get a job easy. and here i'm reading the opposite. What is the deal?

 

Cheerz

Jobwise - really bad time to go, unless you have something lined up already, or have good contacts or you are happy to do fruit picking.

[Kapri]

Hehe nice post =)

I have already got 6 months off from my work to go and try it out and waiting for visa (work/hollyday).

But the question is it worth to go those 6 months... as many said many alarm bells everywhere.

 

4 weeks is not even enough to find out her shoe size

 

If you've got 6 months off to go and try, what's the problem? Sounds like you're in a good position.

Best of luck :biggrin:

[Xenon4017]

i have tinnitus, .... at my work my employer understands that and i can work for home couple of days.

 

How are the employers down in australia? Do they have same kind of understanding?

Cheerz

 

I don't think so. Maybe for an established employee with a proven track record for productivity. But for a new employee, forget it. To be honest, it'd be difficult to get a PM job. Who wants a PM for 6 months only? From the impression I get from your posts, I think casual work would be no problem for you. Not great pay, and not really a career, but you could support yourself while you decide what to do. You seem pretty flexible, and that's important. Your English is good too. And you have a sense of humour. So you've already got three advantages over an Aussie!

 

I don't think this trip will make you any richer. But it will make you much wiser. And that's what counts in the long run.

[Diane]

Give it a go. I have a good friend who met a guy from Norway over the internet. He moved here, they got married, they now have two lovely kids, they are ecstatically happy. They go to Norway every few years to visit his family and friends.

 

Come fo six months, see how you feel, chat to some employers while you are here (although don't let customs catch you with your CV in your luggage on the way in!) keep your options open (don't for goodness sake get her pregnant!) and see what you think for yourself. If nothing else, you'll have had a good holiday, seen a few new bits of the world, made some new friends.

 

It might work out with this girl, it might not. You'll never know if you don't try...

[jkm10]

hi, I think it would be a cool idea to come on a working holiday visa for 6months. you could do some travelling and spend time with this girl as well. if you can get the time off work it would be great to come to oz. the only thing is if you wanted to do the job you do now over here it would cost you lots of money to sort the appropriate things out, and would an employer take you on for just 6months i'm not sure. but maybe you would consider working in a bar or something. even if it doesn't work out with this girl you may find you really like oz and want to live over here. good luck with whatever you decide. jess :-)

[Nikey]

You seem pretty flexible, and that's important. Your English is good too. And you have a sense of humour. So you've already got three advantages over an Aussie!

 

 

LMAO

[Levi]

Hi meca,

I assumed you were born in Sweden, and imagined that country exactly the opposite the way you wrote it. I admit I thought Sweden is like a beautiful rose - but seems I forgot about the thorns. After reading all that you wrote, I can say I understand you now.

 

“If you don’t have Swedish name you need to fight 10 times more to find same job at as Swedish one” I believe you have done just that, and seems to me you are a true fighter, you said you worked your way up to be a project manager. Keep on fighting the good fight, even when it’s about love.

 

I think I’ve changed my mind and my advice a bit: as others say, go for 6 months if you can (talk to your employer about this, to be able to go back if things don’t work out) and see how it goes.

Seems to me you have a wonderful employer if he/she allows you to work from home when you need to.

 

Yes, seems like you don’t like Sweden anymore and would like to try something else. As Tina2 said (on page 4) don’t live in the girl’s house (with her parents), you may feel uncomfortable, perhaps a stranger in the beginning. Will you be able (= afford) to rent?

 

YES, in some cases work can be hard to get in Oz. But if you can prove yourself then you might get a very good job. Mentioning previous employment (big and well known company as you said) can be a good thing. Sometimes this is informally known as “name dropping”, and refers more to people if I’m right.

 

About being stuck: it all depends how people can end relationships. When separating either side can make a scene, but you say goodbye and get on a plane. How the other side reacts is down to them and their personality.

 

Xenon4017 again nailed it on the bottom on page 4 - I feel the same way.

 

I am very happy that you like this forum, we don’t know each other and all of us can only advise what seems normal/reasonable to us.

[meca]

Hi folks!

 

Long time no see.

Just wanted to share my update =) I decided not to go to Australia. It was one of the hardest decisions which i had to make in life which actually

brought me in bad shape. It has past now 3 months since we said good bye and life if moving on Until yesterday, where she messeged me and just want to know how i was, etc, old memories we had etc.. then to tell me again, to take care.. That made me lost again, and I'm back at square one lol

 

Don't know the purpose of that but anyhow.

Greatings from cold Sweden

[Incata]

It sounds like it was a very hard decision for you. I think that you did the right thing.

 

I am sure it will get easier over time.

 

Best wishes

 

Incata

[Lambethlad]

Give it a go mate. If it doesn't work out at least you will end up with Oz citizenship. And by the way, the Oz public health system is very good and it's free. I had two kidney stone ops and it didn't cost a cent.

[meca]

Give it a go mate. If it doesn't work out at least you will end up with Oz citizenship. And by the way, the Oz public health system is very good and it's free. I had two kidney stone ops and it didn't cost a cent.

 

How can i give it a go, when i don't know what she wants or what i want lol? I mean she contacted me to tell me to take care again , that's what confused me?

Then, i wouldn't never give up the Swedish citizenship, only if i was forced to. We have so many advantages by having swedish citizenship

[Pommyaussie]

How can i give it a go, when i don't know what she wants or what i want lol? I mean she contacted me to tell me to take care again , that's what confused me?

Then, i wouldn't never give up the Swedish citizenship, only if i was forced to. We have so many advantages by having swedish citizenship

Not sure why she contacted you when you'd already gone separate ways - hopefully she's not manipulating you in any way.

 

If she's still not willing to meet you in a 50% relationship then you did the right thing by walking away. Find a relationship with someone who wants a true partnership and is prepared to negotiate a joint life together.

[meca]

Not sure why she contacted you when you'd already gone separate ways - hopefully she's not manipulating you in any way.

 

If she's still not willing to meet you in a 50% relationship then you did the right thing by walking away. Find a relationship with someone who wants a true partnership and is prepared to negotiate a joint life together.

 

I have no idea why she contacted me in first place after we have gone separate ways, but I could not just let it without to find the answer why she contacted me so today I've sent a question

wondering why she contacted me. Now if I get honest answer that's another question =)

 

We'll here the options i offered:

 

She comes to Sweden and live here: Got first YES then NO

We move together to Austria since she has been living in Germany for 10 years: Got then YES then NO

We move to any country in Europe together: No

She comes to Sweden for 6 months and if she don't like it we move to Australia: NO

We move to any other city in Australia then the one she and her parents live in: First YES then NO

If i come to the city which she lives at and i dont like it she wouldn't move. : NO

 

All above options I have offered and got NO on each single one of them.

So I can't say it really 50% - 50% here.

 

One thing is for sure, I'll miss the friendliness from Australia, the warm country and the beautiful nature

[Tina2]

I have no idea why she contacted me in first place after we have gone separate ways, but I could not just let it without to find the answer why she contacted me so today I've sent a question

wondering why she contacted me. Now if I get honest answer that's another question =)

 

We'll here the options i offered:

 

She comes to Sweden and live here: Got first YES then NO

We move together to Austria since she has been living in Germany for 10 years: Got then YES then NO

We move to any country in Europe together: No

She comes to Sweden for 6 months and if she don't like it we move to Australia: NO

We move to any other city in Australia then the one she and her parents live in: First YES then NO

If i come to the city which she lives at and i dont like it she wouldn't move. : NO

 

All above options I have offered and got NO on each single one of them.

So I can't say it really 50% - 50% here.

 

One thing is for sure, I'll miss the friendliness from Australia, the warm country and the beautiful nature

 

Block her emails ! or any other contact you have with her ! This relationship would NEVER work