Cam Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 We have a very short timeline to make a decision whether to stay on here for longer or to go back to the UK & by go back that means close the chapter & dream for a number of years. Short timeline due to me being due back from maternity leave in Feb/ March and the school admissions officer saying that we need a council tax bill for our house by the end of March in order for our daughter to get into one of our local schools (which are good), in which case we need to tell our current tenants pretty much today!! The reasons for going back are that housing in good areas is so much more affordable, our childcare that we have places in is fantastic, there is a very strong local community and the schools are good. My daughter has really missed her friends and grandparents, which is annoying because everyone says that young kids are very adaptable. We went back for a month at Xmas and she loved catching up with friends and family, & yes it is a false situation people are more enthusiastic when they hardly see you, but we've made very few proper friends since being here, although we have been out and about and doing lots. The negative for going back is that I may lose my job in 6 months and may find it hard to find another in my field locally, so that means moving or until there is a recovery finding other work, and that we will be finally giving up on our dream. The reasons for staying are that Oz is a great place, there are certain aspects of the lifestyle we love, which I would put down to the better weather, although ironically skin cancer really scares me - I'd hate for my kids to have issues later in life because we chose to live in Australia. We have finally decided that our decision is not about what is best for us as a couple, but for our children and us as a family. Our aim is to have a nice affordable home in a good community area. Which in Oz would mean moving away from the Eastern Suburbs (Sydney) as those boxes haven't been ticked and maybe alot further out. But it is all a risk as there aren't alot of jobs over here in my field, and will those far out suburbs offer the lifestyle, the affordability, the community, the good childcare and the good schools? Our current childcare has alot to be desired, and my little boy (only 9 months seems to pick up colds/ illnesses all the time from there, he's very robust so it's not his constitution). So it's a hard decision which is now a very short timescale as we keep on deciding to go back and then re-checking things, I guess because we don't want to feel that we didn't think it all through properly. When we were in the UK we had 90% decided to return, we even left pretty much all our clothes and Xmas presents, so that we could bring back more clothes and toys on our next flights. We've been here 11.5 months. It's time to be grown up & make a decision... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul B Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 To cover things, you can always serve notice on your tenants and change your mind as i find when i've had to do this they dont have anything organised till the last minute. Or, pay the council tax for them and get the bill. You could count it as a loss if you dont go back or even increase their rent to cover it. They would be paying it anyway. Might be a way to give you more thinking time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 having gone through a similar situation to yourself regarding your children, my best advise to you would be to sit down and talk it through as a family, What age are your children.. have they settled well in oz, would they miss it and if so what would they miss if they were to return to the uk!! Also the other factor to consider would be the cost of flights, shipping etc if you were to return home later in the year or two would you have funds to cover this, you hear so many people trapped in Australia simply because they have no money to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Posted January 21, 2013 Author Share Posted January 21, 2013 Paul I think you're right it makes sense, then at least we're covered. I also need to sort out my return to work date... My daughter is 3 3/4, she thinks she knows so much but pinning her down to a real conversation is so hard. She's desperate to return to the UK and her homesickness and subsequent behaviour has been really hard to contend with, however she is much better since Xmas, so I hope we've come to a returning point. What she will miss from Oz will be the beach and ice cream!!! but the reality of it, well it's anyone's guess!!!! She just wants people she's close to around her. My son is 9.5 months and only knows Australia, as long as he's got somewhere to explore and cuddles he'll be happy!!! We've saved sine we got here so we can cover shipping and have return flights, thankfully. But my husband's work contract finished before Xmas so he needs to look for work either here or there, and the longer we spend... We seem to be on the same wavelength thankfully, I just think neither of us has the balls to take the responsibility for the decision, it was a bit like that when we decided to come again!!! Useless!!! I guess if we saw it as an adventure going back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 What do you WANT to do? Where do you WANT to live? You will find positives and negatives in any country! I wouldnt worry too much about the baby picking up bugs in creche, seems to be par for the course with small children in day care. Have you seen how they put all the toys in their mouths and share them around! On paper from what you have written it seems you would be better off long term in the UK. I completely understand your concerns about skin cancer with two small children myself! Its wonderful to have the heat but not so much fun with little kids that need to be kept indoors from 10 til 4! I hope you can come to a decision soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I would say stay. For the simple fact that your not saying you want to leave Oz because you hate living here. . It takes lots of pieces to make a jigsaw and the area you are in at the moment is your missing piece, so give the other suburb a go to see if things slot into place. If it doesnt at least you will be going back without any regrets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? Work towards that. If beaches and ice cream mean more than having extended family and friends then you know which way to jump. If the job opportunity in Australia is better than the job opportunity in UK, you know which way to jump. If your chance of financial stability and a home you want to live in is better in Australia than in UK then you know which way to go. Life isn't about dreams it's about being pragmatic and making the best decision towards a longer term goal with all the information you currently have. Sometimes you make absolutely the best decision in the world and sometimes you have to tweak it. Unfortunately life is all out of crystal balls. Good luck whichever way you jump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 We didn't like Australia at all and I've made no secret of that fact and we returned to the UK and haven't regretted it for one second. What I will say is this- my husband is an aussie and we had a lovely life in the UK, we gave it all up to move to Oz to be near his family and his 'home' we had 3 young children 3, 6 & 8 and after many visits to Oz we genuinely believed we were doing the right thing in moving to Oz.....how wrong we were- my husband missed our life back in the UK so much (as did I) we returned. If your life is good (for all of you) unless you don't like living there I would say that family alone is not a strong enough reason to move...homesickness for the place AND people is different entirely IMO. Basically we did the same as you are thinking of - but in reverse. Good luck.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Just a thought. Sit quietly in different rooms, no TV on, no noise. Cut out all the issues like cost of housing, council tax, schools, jobs out of your mind and listen to what your heart is saying or rather your gut! Both of you do it. Both of you write down on a piece of paper what your decision is. Then show each other your own decisions and find out if they match - I hope so. This indecision must be exhausting for you both and confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal2 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I emphasise so much for me it's what's best for the children that's the deciding factor, unfortunately I've never found that elusive crystal ball to tell me what's best for them. Whatever you decide you will have some regrets, but I'm sure you will make the most of wherever you are good luck Cal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Thanks guys, it is soooo exhausting. We've both been weighing everything up from the heart perspective, the pragmatic perspective, the toss a coin perspective & we're still not there. & we're both now so over thinking about it, we almost don't care! I had hoped we'd both have a day off on Thursday without the kids (1st time ever where we could just go off, explore somewhere new & think about it), however my son's been poorly the last few days so that's unlikely 2 happen. Work said 2 me 2day that they'd look at the budgets & see if they could offer me 4-5 days work & have been chasing up my pay review, so I've probably gone & made things more complicated again! I'll let u know when we get there! Any views on suburbs like Padstow, Croydon Park in Sydney? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine111 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 We have a very short timeline to make a decision whether to stay on here for longer or to go back to the UK & by go back that means close the chapter & dream for a number of years.Short timeline due to me being due back from maternity leave in Feb/ March and the school admissions officer saying that we need a council tax bill for our house by the end of March in order for our daughter to get into one of our local schools (which are good), in which case we need to tell our current tenants pretty much today!! The reasons for going back are that housing in good areas is so much more affordable, our childcare that we have places in is fantastic, there is a very strong local community and the schools are good. My daughter has really missed her friends and grandparents, which is annoying because everyone says that young kids are very adaptable. We went back for a month at Xmas and she loved catching up with friends and family, & yes it is a false situation people are more enthusiastic when they hardly see you, but we've made very few proper friends since being here, although we have been out and about and doing lots. The negative for going back is that I may lose my job in 6 months and may find it hard to find another in my field locally, so that means moving or until there is a recovery finding other work, and that we will be finally giving up on our dream. The reasons for staying are that Oz is a great place, there are certain aspects of the lifestyle we love, which I would put down to the better weather, although ironically skin cancer really scares me - I'd hate for my kids to have issues later in life because we chose to live in Australia. We have finally decided that our decision is not about what is best for us as a couple, but for our children and us as a family. Our aim is to have a nice affordable home in a good community area. Which in Oz would mean moving away from the Eastern Suburbs (Sydney) as those boxes haven't been ticked and maybe alot further out. But it is all a risk as there aren't alot of jobs over here in my field, and will those far out suburbs offer the lifestyle, the affordability, the community, the good childcare and the good schools? Our current childcare has alot to be desired, and my little boy (only 9 months seems to pick up colds/ illnesses all the time from there, he's very robust so it's not his constitution). So it's a hard decision which is now a very short timescale as we keep on deciding to go back and then re-checking things, I guess because we don't want to feel that we didn't think it all through properly. When we were in the UK we had 90% decided to return, we even left pretty much all our clothes and Xmas presents, so that we could bring back more clothes and toys on our next flights. We've been here 11.5 months. It's time to be grown up & make a decision... Been where you are, it spins your head out! Is hardest because you are trying to make a decision for you all especially the kids. would only say, make sure it is a decision that is not only best for the kids but also that you as a couple/individuals benefit too. You as a couple are the backbone of the family unit. Might be a job opportunity/might be a hobby/setting up a small business from home/2nd income (e.g. we lurve the countryside/nature) or places you'd like to explore/visit but ultimately a focus/something to get your teeth stuck into. Takes time to re-settle & maybe after the honeymoon period, there maybe a stage of misplacement, (or what next) more so if you have been away awhile (10yrs in our case) but it does start coming together, 18mths in for us & has been challenging but starting to come together, find where we fit so to speak, tho' the kids found that early on which made the move so much easier. Good luck:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.